Consequences

By Neurotica

Seventeen

Three days before Christmas, the Hogwarts Express came to a halt beside Platform 9 ¾. The students onboard the train raced to get off and greet their families, more than happy to escape the school for a few weeks. Fred and George cheerfully led the way off the train to meet their parents. Harry was at the back of his group of friends, and automatically began searching for any traces of Sirius or Remus. The last letter he'd received for his guardians—well, from Remus, since Sirius and Harry still weren't exactly on speaking terms—said that he, Remus, was doing much better in his recovery. There were still times when he would need to rest after going up or down many staircases, but they were becoming less frequent occurrences. He still needed to use his walking stick—his right leg still gave him trouble—but he no longer required Sirius' help to get anywhere.

As far as Harry could see though, neither of his guardians was in the sea of parents waiting to collect their children. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were smiling happily as their children, Harry, and Hermione approached. The Grangers, Mrs. Weasley told the young Muggleborn witch, were waiting for her just outside the barrier. Hermione wouldn't be joining her friends for Christmas, but promised to visit before holidays were over.

"Mrs. Weasley," Harry said as Hermione went through the barrier to the Muggle world. "Where's Sirius?"

"Oh, he was a bit busy today, dear. Remus, Emmeline, and he were decorating for Christmas before we left," Mrs. Weasley said distractedly as she rounded up her family. "FRED AND GEORGE! What have I told you about levitating your trunks with your sister on them?"

Harry felt his heart sink somewhere past his stomach. One of his guardians—most times both—was always there to greet him when he got off the train. He understood that Remus probably wasn't up to it, but Sirius could've come... Of course, Sirius was probably still upset with him over Halloween—Harry still hadn't spoken with his godfather as he'd promised Remus he would. Well, now Sirius and Harry would be in the same place for two weeks, and there was no way Remus would allow them to avoid one another... especially not at Christmas...

Sirius, Remus, Emmeline, and Tonks were taking a break from decorating to have some of the cake Molly had made earlier in the day.

"So, Tonks, what are you doing for Christmas?" Emmeline asked. Sirius tried to hide his excitement and amusement at how, with every day that passed, Emmeline and Remus sat closer to one another.

Tonks blushed a bit. "I'm taking Kingsley to meet Mum and Dad. They've been bugging me about it for months, and if I wait any longer, they'll probably show up in Auror Headquarters looking for us."

Sirius grinned. "That'd work just fine for me. Then I can give them all the dirt on Kingsley."

"You'd actually do that to a friend?" Emmeline asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Absolutely!" Sirius said promptly. "I'd do it to Moony in a heartbeat... And I've got a lot on old Remus, Emmeline," he added with a wink.

"You are by far the biggest prat in the world," Remus said flatly, taking a small bite of his cake.

"Probably, but you love me." Sirius grinned.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "That's debatable."

"I'd be highly offended if I didn't know you've been on painkilling potions for a month, Remus," Sirius said thickly through his cake. "What about you, Vance?" he added after swallowing said piece of cake. Remus wondered if he'd even chewed it. "What're your plans for the holiday?" Sirius noticed that Remus quickly became interested in his socks.

"Oh, I'm probably just going to go back home for a few days," Emmeline said dismissively.

"Visiting family?" Tonks asked.

Emmeline shook her head. "No, my parents died years ago. I've got brothers, but they both moved to America to raise families after the first war."

"So who are you spending your holiday with?" Sirius asked, ignoring the glare Remus was sending him.

Emmeline shrugged. "No one really. Just thought you guys could use some time with Harry without the whole world interfering."

"You can't spend Christmas alone!" Sirius exclaimed. "Stay here!"

"I don't want to impose—" Emmeline began.

"Nobody's imposing!" Sirius insisted. "Right, Remus?"

"Right, Sirius," Remus said, still glaring at his best friend.

"Well, I—" Emmeline tried again.

"No excuses," Sirius said firmly. "You're staying."

Before Emmeline could open her mouth to speak again, the front door opened. The Weasleys and Harry tried to enter quietly, and they would have succeeded if Fred hadn't tried to close the door with a wave of his wand. The result was every painting in the entranceway waking and screaming along with Mrs. Black.

"Can't say I've missed that," Remus said dryly as Sirius and Tonks ran to stun the portraits.

Emmeline grinned. "I think it adds personality to this old place."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever been called a flea-ridden mutt by a portrait older than your great-great grandfather?"

"Yes," she replied with certainty. "Fourth year at Hogwarts. My friend and I were using each other for transfiguration practice."

Remus could only shake his head before Harry and his friends came into the room to say hello.

The rest of the night was spent getting the kids settled back into Number Twelve. Molly prepared a large dinner for all those present, and Kingsley seemed to be attracted to the house by the scent of the food—or maybe it was Tonks' fluorescent pink hair acting as a beacon.

Sirius and Harry exchanged small talk, but it was more than obvious that things were still very awkward between them. Remus thought they both needed to be slapped. Hard. As much as he loved his family, and he loved them very much, he didn't know how much more of Sirius' moping about Harry he could take before he snapped. Emmeline told him Sirius' mood wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before Remus' return, but he still didn't like it.

He'd gotten somewhat used to the idea of having his ex-fiancée spying for the Order. She'd only been to one other meeting since that other night. Sirius said she was afraid to face Remus. Remus said she had plenty of reason to be. While Remus Lupin was normally a very forgiving wizard, Naomi was the exception. She'd betrayed her friends, and Remus still didn't know why—being afraid of Voldemort just wasn't a good enough excuse.

For the past few weeks, Sirius had started to become quite annoying. When he wasn't being depressed over Harry, he was very obviously trying to play matchmaker between Remus and Emmeline. Remus thought very highly of the witch—he'd even go as far as to say he fancied her and wouldn't mind starting a relationship with her. His complaint was that Sirius was trying too hard. Remus had only been back a month—he was still trying to adjust to being around friends again. While it was true that Remus and Emmeline were becoming quite close... Well, Remus was quickly running out of believable excuses as to why nothing could happen between them.

Remus looked around the table where his friends and family were enjoying their dessert. He'd never thought he'd see any of them alive again. There'd been days in France when he'd just wanted to put himself out of his misery and give up. It might be too corny to admit aloud, but when those thoughts crossed his mind, he'd thought of Sirius and Harry, and felt new energy fill his veins. His family kept him alive, even after all he'd been through. Most people, those with more sense than he, would have just turned themselves in and hoped for the best. But having Sirius Black as one's best friend and brother had odd effects on one's sense of rebellion.

Remus began to fade not long after Fred and George demonstrated to Sirius the uses of some fake wands they'd made. The werewolf felt a familiar—and not entirely unwelcome—sense of foreboding at his best friend's eagerness to see what else the twins had created.

"Harry," he said quietly to the boy beside him. Harry turned his head. "Care to help an old man upstairs?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "You're not old, Moony," he said, handing Remus his walking stick.

Remus said good night to Emmeline and those who weren't preoccupied with Fred and George and let Harry help him up the stairs.

Later that night, Remus was reading one of the books Emmeline bought him, Defending Yourself Against Yourself: Techniques for the Modern Werewolf (he could only imagine the looks she'd received buying that book). There was a familiar knock on his door and he called the person inside. Sirius entered without hesitation and flopped down on the bed beside Remus.

"Evening, Moony," he said cheerfully.

"Hello, Padfoot. Are you quite comfortable?"

"Quite, thank you."

Remus chuckled. The two friends fell into a comfortable silence only the best of friends could really manage, while Remus continued his reading. He could feel Sirius staring at him, but tried to block it out. He knew what his best friend wanted, but he wanted to put it off for as long as possible. Avoiding Sirius Black, though, wasn't the easiest thing to accomplish. In fact, even after all the time Remus had spent ignoring Sirius, he still couldn't manage it for very long.

"Remus," Sirius said, any trace of the normal humor in his voice gone.

Remus sighed heavily and closed his book, placing it beside him on the mattress. "What do you want to know?" he asked, his voice suddenly hoarse, as he stared at his hands.

"What happened out there?" Sirius asked bluntly.

Remus smiled humorlessly. "Bit of a loaded question, don't you think?" he asked rhetorically. "You remember what you saw in the pensieve, right? Well, after I left the cave, I got turned around. I suppose it was a side effect from Malfoy's spell. Anyway, I got myself lost in the forest and I had no way of telling where I was. I didn't have a wand, as you very well know. Didn't have any food and I couldn't find water. I just wanted to get back to Emmeline in case the Death Eaters came back to find us.

"Night fell, and I still had no idea where I was. I took cover under some trees—it started raining pretty heavily—and ended up falling asleep. Neither Emmeline nor I was strong enough for Apparition after Malfoy's spell. I was still having trouble breathing, but it wasn't as bad as before. The next time I woke—I don't know what day it was—I was somewhere else. When I'd closed my eyes, I'd been surrounded by trees; when I opened my eyes, I was in a clearing. No idea how I'd gotten there, either. I heard voices, though. Didn't know if they were good or bad at the time, but I ran for cover, anyway. It was Malfoy and Nott. They had a bit of a shock when they realized I was gone..."

"If they'd found you in the first place, why didn't they kill you?" Sirius asked quietly, obviously not wanting to think along those lines, but needing to know.

"I'm getting there," Remus replied patiently. "They started talking about Voldemort, and how upset he was going to be when he found out I was gone. They were discussing some of the werewolves I'd spoken with last year. Malfoy said something to the effect of 'they won't agree without Lupin.' I didn't know what they were talking about, but I was sure it wouldn't be good. They mentioned the Albanian colonies specifically. I believe this was before they were slaughtered.

"I decided it was time to get away before anyone caught me again. That time I was lucky..." he said darkly. "Some time passed. Could've been hours, days, weeks, I don't know. But the Death Eaters caught up with me again. I was defenseless without a wand. One of them, instead of just stunning me, tackled me for some unknown reason. He was a small wizard, so I threw him off my back and was able to steal his wand. I couldn't do much with it; it wasn't very powerful—only the most basic spells would work, or I'd have been back ages ago. It was enough, though; I had some defense and light when I needed it. Though I still wasn't strong enough to Apparate, I was trying to get near enough to a wizard dwelling as I could without getting caught. I was able to get away from the Death Eaters—stunned a few, hexed a few others—and just ran.

"The full moon was coming quickly, and I knew I'd be no match for them before or afterwards—I didn't have my potion. I found a cave to transform in. It was deep enough so I could hide and they wouldn't be able to hear me, and I could rest for a few days after the moon waned. I was in pretty bad shape the day after the full moon—the wolf didn't understand where that damned black dog was—" Sirius laughed weakly. "I was bleeding everywhere. I had a few broken ribs... Patched myself up as best I could and went on my merry way."

"Why didn't you try the communication spell with the wand you had?"

"I did, but as I said, only the most basic spells worked for me; it wasn't my wand. And the communication spell isn't exactly simple..." Remus sighed. "Anyway, fast forwarding a bit... finally found some food and water, so I was able keep up some of my strength. It obviously hadn't been enough; I was ambushed two days after the full moon. Knocked out, gagged, tied to a tree somewhere... When I came to, I thought I was dead, Sirius. I don't ever remember feeling that horrible.

"Malfoy seemed to be the organizer of the little campout. The others shot Avada Kedavra past me countless times, just to mock the fact that I was helpless and about to die. Crucio was their favorite, of course, as it always is with Death Eaters. And when I was too weak to react anymore, they used Imperius to get me to react, and well, mainly for their entertainment. I think they had me doing a tap dance at one point.

"I have no idea how long I was there. Had to be at least a month... They thought I was near death, given up on ever getting out alive. So they started telling me horrible things they knew would make me want to die. They told me first that Emmeline had been captured, and that on the next full moon I would see her one last time—I think they believed she and I were more than just Order members on a mission. They said that you, Sirius, lost your mind back at home, went on a drinking binge—I hear that part is true, but that's for another day's discussion—and then killed Harry and yourself. I wasn't in any fit state to try and deny it. My mind just accepted it as fact. There were other things they said—Voldemort will destroy the Mudbloods and their supporters, things like that, but I'd stopped caring.

"I formed a plan in the rare moments I could think semi-coherently. When the full moon came, and if Emmeline really was there, I'd kill myself before I had the chance to attack her. It was a weak plan; I wouldn't have had much control over myself, but it kept me thinking.

"The moon finally came and they untied me from that tree. They held me at wand point, taking me to some sort of paddock. They threw me in, and locked me up with spells... then they just left. I waited for them to come back before my transformation, but they didn't.

"Next morning, I had no memory of what had happened. There was loads of blood, but it was only mine, thankfully. There wasn't even a trace of Emmeline anywhere around. The spells that had been locking me in were taken down, and I tried to get away as quickly as possible. The Death Eaters had taken the wand I had, so I was defenseless again... But as I went through their camp, I didn't need defending; the place was deserted and destroyed. It looked as though they'd left in a hurry—fires were still smoldering, and they hadn't taken anything with them except their wands, it seemed.

"I started walking again—crawling more like. I was more exhausted than I can ever remember being. I don't really have much recollection after that—just flashes of things that make no sense. The next thing I clearly remember is seeing Harry in the hospital wing." Remus looked away from his best friend's wide eyes and stared at his blanket. There'd been more to it—more torturing, more near death experiences—but he didn't think Sirius needed to hear all that.

"Well," Sirius said slowly after long minutes of silence. "And here I was thinking I'd had a bad few months..."

Remus chuckled. "I think I would've preferred staying here," he said.

"You're not the only one, mate," Sirius muttered. After a few more minutes of thoughtful silence, Sirius grinned suddenly. "So... you and Emmeline..." he said suggestively.

Remus rolled his eyes but smiled. "What about us?" he asked in a mock-bored voice.

"What's going on?" Sirius demanded.

Remus shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Padfoot."

"When are you going to take her out?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I want to see my ickle Moonykins happy," Sirius said simply with a straight face.

Remus raised an incredulous eyebrow. "What did you just call me?" Sirius only smiled. Remus shook his head, not even wanting to know where that had come from. "I'll be happy when this war is over, Sirius," he said.

"It'll happen," Sirius said.

"You seem quite sure of yourself."

"I am," the Auror said. "Think about it, Remus. You and I are the last of the Marauders. James is gone, Peter is as good as gone... There's got to be a reason you and I survived this long, right? We've got to have a bigger role in this war. We already know what Harry's got to do..."

"That's true," Remus agreed thoughtfully. "Maybe we'll live through this after all, hmm?"

"Absolutely," Sirius said. "Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll go try and get some sleep for a change."

"Sounds like a good plan," Remus said.

Sirius reached over, pulling Remus into a one-armed hug, and kissed his temple. "Night, Moony," Sirius said gruffly.

"Good night, Padfoot."

Even after using the techniques Emmeline had taught him to block his mind, Harry still found himself caught up in a dream world. The location was familiar; he'd seen it on the night of Voldemort's rebirthing—it was the ruins of his parents' home in Godric's Hollow. Nothing seemed much different from the last time Harry had seen it, save the fact that there was no large cauldron standing in the middle, nor was there a Death Eater holding a bundle of rags.

He'd seen pictures of what the house had once looked like and thought it quite a shame that it was now a pile of rubbish. He took a few automatic steps forward through the rusted wrought-iron gate and up the front path. He smiled when the scenery changed. No longer was he standing before destruction; now it was a beautiful two-story cottage with a colorful garden surrounding all four sides.

"Why am I here?" he wondered aloud. "Why does Voldemort want me to see this?"

He knew he shouldn't be here, that this was what he was trying to avoid with learning Occlumency, but he was curious. Every other vision he'd received from the Dark Lord showed death and darkness and chaos. Maybe this wasn't a vision. Maybe this was just an ordinary dream...

He bit his lip (he couldn't feel it) and opened the white door to the cottage. Everything looked normal. There were children's toys scattered around, family photos covering the hallway walls.

He could hear laughter in the kitchen, lots of it. Curious still, he followed the sounds and received a slight shock when he stepped over the kitchen's threshold.

A family sat at a large mahogany table eating breakfast. Three of the family members Harry recognized, but there were two others he'd never seen before. His mother and father sat at either end of the table, smiling fondly at their children. Harry sat between them, laughing into his glass of pumpkin juice. Across from him were two children between the ages of six and ten, a boy and a girl. The boy had dark red hair and could have easily been mistaken for Ron's younger brother if it hadn't been for the glasses. The girl had long black hair and Harry's green eyes.

Nothing too special was happening—it was just a family enjoying breakfast together. Harry supposed this was what life would have been like without Voldemort. He enjoyed the sight, but wondered idly where Sirius and Remus were. He went back to the hallway and scanned the pictures. The most recent one he could find of his guardians were from when the little girl in the kitchen—his sister—had been born.

"What happened to them?" Harry muttered to himself.

As an answer, the house around him vanished and was replaced by the cemetery where his parents were buried. His feet took him almost automatically to a spot on a hill where two gravestones sat just ten feet apart. Both were granite, just like Harry's parents' gravestones, and both had pictures of an animal engraved on them.

On the first gravestone was a wolf. Just below it, written in gold script were the words that proved to Harry that this wasn't an ordinary dream:

Remus John Lupin

11 March 1960 - 31 October 1988

Friend. Brother. Hero.

Beside that gravestone was one with a dog carved into it.

Sirius Orion Black

12 December 1959 - 31 October 1988

Friend. Brother. Hero.

Harry wasn't enjoying this dream as much as he had initially. He had a family—a real family—with his Mum and Dad and siblings, but the two people who'd made him who he was today had been gone for half his life. As much as he'd thought about what his life would have been like had his parents lived, he never thought he'd be without Sirius and Remus.

Harry shot straight up in his bed breathing heavily. Beside his bed, Ron was in his own, snoring loudly, his dreams undisturbed. The scar on Harry's forehead tingled a bit and he rubbed it absentmindedly, coming to a decision.

Tomorrow, he would talk to Sirius.