House
This is what it would be like if you put all of the characters from Eragon in a house together, for a long long long long long long time.
Chapter 1: Wake Up!
Eragon tosses and turns. He shoots up in bed suddenly and yells, " NO! BACK AWAY! LEAVE ME GIANT CHICKEN OF FINLAND!"
Galbatorix: Eragon, I would be delighted if you could please, with all sencirety, lower your voice. I would greatly appreciate it, I'm trying to read Tales from Shakespear.
Brom: STUFF IT UP YOUR $ GALBATORIX!
Galbatorix starts to cry.
Saphira: ALRIGHT, WHO FRIKIN WOKE ME UP?
Eragon pointed to the ceiling quickly. Brom looked at Eragon and pointed to Galbatorix. Saphira roared and began to rage on Galbatorix as he screamed. Eragon and Brom laughed.
Eragon: Readin' be fer dumb people!
Brom: Yo dawgs, I'm gettin' hungry. Yo, Eragon! Ya you, the idiot!
Eragon: Hey... (Silence)
Brom: Make me some breakfast homie!
Eragon: Ok...I make eggies!
Saphira had quite finished her raging now and growled.
Saphira: Make me pancakes !$ oh Eragon. Your a #! dumb !$# and $!&$!
Eragon giggled.
Eragon: Funny words!
Galbatorix(moaning with pain): I would be delighted if thy Eragon would perhaps fix a crumpet? Please do ma...
Saphira crushes Galbatorix with her over-sized rear end. She farts...very loudly. Galbatorix passes out. Then she farts again. Galbatorix equals dead.
Brom: Killing Spree!
Eragon pulls a frying pan from his cloaks with hot steaming scrambled eggs on it.
Eragon: Eggies!
Brom and Saphira dive for the pan, knocking Eragon through the wall into...ANGELA'S ROOM! WOW!
Eragon: Angela! Galbatorixxiee be dead agains!
Angela turned.
Angela: Dang it Saphira! We need to get some Gas-X. Eragon, go to the store and bbuy some before I beat your sorry butthole with a bowling pin!
Eragon ran out to the store, that just so happened to not exist. Angela turned again. She had a disease: Turnintitas.
Brom: Whadda hell da we need Gas-X for, G-DAWG?
Angela: We don't...Eggs!
Angela hurries over and just before she can grab the eggs, she turns.
Angela: PICKLE JUICE!
Saphira and Brom gasped. Then they gasped again. Before they could gasp the fatal and final third gasp, Arya enters the room.
Arya: Hi guy...UGHGUHGG UHHH!
Arya dies of a sudden heart failure. No one ever knew this, but elves are EXTREMELY allergic to dragon farts. Fortunately, the dragons did not know this until AFTER the war. As soon as an elf smells a dragon fart, every vein in their ENTIRE body EXPLODES! MUHUHUHAHAHAHAAA! How unnessecarily cruel!
AANNNYYYWWAAYYYSSS, Brom and Saphira and Angela and Eragon look as Arya dies. Eragon?
Eragon: Mee got GAS-X!
Angela: Just my pickly pickle juice luck...
GASP!
There is a long pause...A very llloooonnnnnnnngggggggg pause. Long enough to allow global warming to occur. Long enough to let world starvation occur. Long enough for a pizza to get icy cold...and then heat it up! LONG ENOUGH TO SAY THIS LINE: Supercalifabulisticexpialidocious!
Eragon: Mee bored.