Chapter 2: Boredom...CONQUERED!
Eragon reached under his drool-soaked, maggot-infested, half-eaten, ruined, ugly, disgusting bed. (Good thing he's so darn STUPID! Why is he stupid? Because it is...UNNESSECARILY CRUEL! MUHUHUHAHAHA!) He pulled out his xbox.
Eragon: Me play Shrek 2!
Saphira sighed heavily.
Saphira: You ARE A SORRY LITTLE WUSS! YOU SUK AND I HATE YOU!
Eragon: Me luv you too!
Saphira: WE ARE GOING TO PLAY...BLOODY GORE MAYHEM LXIIII!
Saphira puts in the game and begins to rip off heads in a digital world of blood, gore, mayhem, and Roman Numerals.
Angela: That game is inappropiate for Eragon. What if he actually LEARNS something?
Suddenly, Eragon jumps from behind Brom with his dagger held high and drives it deep...
ERROR
ERROR
SCENE CUT FOR VIOLENCE TOO VIOLENT FOR EVEN THE TOUGHEST MAN IN THE WORLD
Eragon: That be fun!
Brom's dead body layed in the floor. On his face was a look of terror. His cause of death was obvious...Educational Television. DUM DUH DUM DUM DDDUUUUUMMMMM!
Angela:Now why'd ya do that?
Saphira: Finally, that old fart friking died.
Arya, who had risen from the dead to seek revenge, stopped.
Arya: Fart? NOOOOOO!
Arya died again.
Eragon: KILLING SPREE!
Angela: WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT PROFANITY?
Angela took out a metal rod and beat Eragon's back with it. Saphira played XBOX. Galbatorix began to rot from the stench that hung on his body from that MONSTEROUS dragon fart. Arya twitched...fart. Brom...well it was Educational Television (DUM DUH DUM DUM DUMMMMM!), so he just kinda layed there.
After Eragon had been thouroghly beaten...
Eragon: Me not bored. BOREDOME, CONQUERED!
Angela took out the rod...
Angela: PROFANITY!
then turned...
Angela: PICKLE JUICE IN A JAR!
Need I type more?
Narrarator: This is probably the stupidest thing I have EVER had to read in my ENTIRE life. I QUIT!
Morzan the Unnessecarily Cruel: YOU CAN'T!
Narrarator: Why not?
Morzan the Unnessecarily Cruel: BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED!
Narrarator: WHAT? I just quit! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME!
Morzan the Unnessecarily Cruel: SORRY!
Narrarator: Why won't you let me quit with dignity?
Morzan the Unnessecarily Cruel: BECAUSE...IT'S UNNESSECARILY CRUEL!
Morzan the Unnessecarily Cruel pulls out a shotgun and blows the narrarator to bits.