Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, situations or dialogue found in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series, or Stargate SG-1. This is purely a work of fiction and no intent to defame or gain profit from this enterprise is intended.

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In Flight

OOOOOOOOOO

Jack shifted in his seat for the fifth time in ten minutes, then stretched his right leg out in front of him to work some of the stiffness out of his knee. Private jets were great in terms of convenience, but they did have their drawbacks--lack of flight attendants (or, more importantly, lack of snacks), no in-flight movie. They also couldn't make him younger or take away the discomfort from all the physical damage he'd suffered over the years.

He looked around. Teal'c seemed to be explaining kel-no-reem to Buffy, who was sitting across from him on the floor in some position that made her look like a pretzel. Next to Jack, Sam was writing something on her laptop–probably a report of some kind. He hoped it wasn't a technical report. He still didn't understand why Carter gave them to him in the first place–he only ended up having her explain it to him in person anyway.

Finn and Dawn Summers were behind him, apparently catching up on old times and peppering the air with occasional bursts of laughter. Daniel appeared to be dozing across the aisle from them. Considering the incredibly boring appearance of the book in front of the archeologist, Jack wasn't surprised Daniel had fallen asleep.

He twisted in his seat, trying not to knee Sam in the hip as he did so–she tended to get touchy about stuff like that. "So, who're we meeting?"

Sam looked at her watch, then turned to Daniel. "Twenty-three minutes on the nose. You owe me ten dollars." She raised her voice so it could be heard in the front of the plane. "Teal'c, you owe me five."

Teal'c gave a solemn nod as Buffy smirked. She'd decided not to bet until she knew General O'Neill better. Dawn had almost laid some money down, but chose not to after Riley whispered something to her about a sucker bet. Carter was hell on numbers–combine them with her knowledge of Jack O'Neill, and she was almost unstoppable.

Daniel opened his eyes and checked his watch. "Darn it. You couldn't have held out for another seven minutes, Jack?" He knew he shouldn't have bet against Sam.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He watched as Daniel took out his wallet, removed a bill, and handed it to Sam. "Carter, what the hell is going on?"

"Nothing important, sir." Sam blinked her blue eyes, the perfect picture of innocence.

Jack didn't buy it. He glared at her. "Did you bet on my attention span again, Carter?"

When she bit her lip and didn't answer, he glared at the rest of the original members of SG-1. "Didn't I order you guys not to do that anymore?"

Daniel beamed a smart ass grin at his friend. "Sure, you ordered us, Jack. But we're not military and this wasn't a combat situation, so we decided to ignore you. You never ordered Sam not to do it–you just asked her not to, so she's in the clear, too."

Jack grumbled. Teal'c prudently decided that any further discussion of kel-no-reem would have to wait until the rest of his team was elsewhere. Now that they were talking, the necessary depth of concentration would be impossible to achieve. He stood and put a hand down to help Buffy up. "I believe we should return to our seats and answer O'Neill's questions." He wouldn't admit to curiosity under threat of zat blasts, but he was definitely intrigued by the little they'd heard so far about living life on a Hellmouth.

Buffy put a hand in his and stood quickly, but was grateful for his support when the airplane hit a turbulence pocket and she stumbled. "Are you well?"

"Yeah, thanks, Teal'c. Just me, being my normal graceful self." They made their way to their seats, facing Jack and Sam.

Dawn, catching her sister's comment, snorted.

"Shush, you." Buffy did a passable impression of their mother.

"Did you just wag your finger at your sister? Dawn, are you going to take that sitting down?" Dawn elbowed Riley, who was grinning at her.

"Could we have a little focus, please?"

Carter smirked. "You've got a little focus, sir."

O'Neill rolled his eyes at Sam. She'd sure gotten lippy since she'd become a lieutenant colonel. "Could we have a little more focus, then?"

"Yeah, sure you betcha."

"Don't you start, Daniel." Daniel's eyes widened in his 'innocent' look, which O'Neill also didn't buy–Daniel was much better at 'absent-minded professor.' Getting away from the SGC without incident had relaxed them all, but especially Jack, who was continually swamped by responsibility these days.

Jack looked across the aisle at Buffy, then turned his head and gave Dawn a level look. "What exactly are we walking into here?" After years of Special Ops and eight years of playing 'gate roulette, O'Neill was almost physically unable to walk into a situation without knowing all the available information about the players and locations in question.

Dawn sighed. She'd known they'd have to get to this sooner or later. Where were Giles, Wes, or heck, even Andrew, to do the boring parts? Yet another reason not to become a Watcher, in her opinion–you hardly ever got to play with the weapons and everyone tuned out the minute you started explaining something. Plus, according to Giles, you got hit on the head a lot. "I guess we should start with the Cleveland group, since everyone's going to be make it, since, y'know, they already live there."

"Sounds like a plan." O'Neill ran a hand through his hair, getting a little exasperated with how closemouthed the Summers sisters were. He knew they had history and didn't trust the government because of their dealings with the Initiative, but the project was closed down and had been for years. They needed to get over it already.

Buffy took over, deciding that by doing so she could put her spin on things and keep secret stuff secret. Dawn had a tendency to blab. "First are Wesley and Fred Wyndam-Price. Wes's the head of the American branch of the Watchers' Council. He's the on-the-spot guy with research–what kind of demon did you see, how to kill it, matching up Watcher/Slayer teams, scheduling patrols, all that stuff. Fred started out as a physicist, but she spends most of her time these days either helping Wes with computerized research–he's not nearly as technophobic as Giles, but he's still more comfy doing bookwork–or coming up with some kind of invention, but no one's ever sure what it is or how it works until she uses it in front of them to kill something."

Dawn laughed. "Cordelia said something once about her having made the most lethal toaster on the planet."

Daniel bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from asking Buffy and Dawn who Giles and Cordelia were. They'd probably meander their way there eventually. If they didn't, then he'd ask. He also didn't ask about the lethal toaster–he'd had breakfast at Jack's house a couple of times and knew firsthand how dangerous that particular appliance could be.

Sam sat up straighter in her seat as the wheels in her brain started turning. She'd love to get another theoretical physicist on her team. The guys she had were terrific at solving problems with information and formulas they already had, but weren't so great at thinking outside the box in crisis situations. "What was Fred's maiden name?"

Buffy thought for a second, then shrugged. Unsurprised, Dawn answered, "Burkle, I think."

Sam almost dropped her laptop. "You know Winifred Burkle?"

Now Dawn looked surprised. For that matter, so did O'Neill. "You know Fred?"

Sam nodded in excitement, now eagerly looking forward to the opportunity to meet and attempt to recruit this woman. "Winifred Burkle published an article on supersymmetry and p-dimensional subspace a few years ago that was absolutely groundbreaking, but I missed the conference where she presented it because we were stuck at the SGC." She couldn't help a small pout. Stupid foothold situation. Stupid Maybourne. Stupid P3X-118.

Even Daniel looked confused. "Supersymmetry and p-dimensional subspace?"

"It's actually more of a string compactification theory. You see..."

O'Neill, knowing this line of conversation wouldn't lead anywhere interesting, placed his left hand over Carter's mouth and gestured with his right hand at Buffy. "Continue."

"Okay, so we got Wes and Fred. Next are Xander and Robin."

O'Neill let go of Carter and surreptitiously wiped his hand on the leg of his pants. He couldn't believe she'd actually licked him. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Who names their kid Xander?"

"The Harrises, I think. Anyway, it's short for Alexander, but don't call him that–you'll understand once you meet him, but if anyone's not an Alexander, or even an Alex, it's Xander. It gets really wiggy otherwise."

"Gotcha." O'Neill didn't have the slightest idea what Buffy was talking about, but figured that he'd have a better chance of understanding once he met the guy.

Teal'c nodded, understanding Buffy's point immediately. It was akin to addressing O'Neill as 'Jonathan' instead of Jack. Not that he ever addressed O'Neill by either name, of course, but Teal'c was clear on the concept, even if he did not understand what Buffy meant by her use of the word 'wiggy.' He would ask her later.

Buffy continued. "Anyway, Xander." She paused, trying to think of the words to describe one of her best friends. For being 'ordinary guy,' he was probably the hardest person out of everybody to explain to someone else. "Um..."

Dawn picked up the conversational slack, understanding her sister's dilemma. "He's very possibly the most extraordinary person I've ever met."

O'Neill smirked. "Oh, and what's his superpower?"

The brunette shot him a dirty look. "He's one hundred percent human but he fights anyway. He listens to people, watches them and tries to understand them." Dawn lifted her chin in the air, subconsciously preparing to defend her absent friend's honor, even if no one was attacking it.

Buffy spoke again. "He's the one guy in my life who has always been there, always stayed." She ignored Daniel's considering look and Riley's scowl and frowned as a thought occurred to her. "Well, unless I was dating vampires. Then he got all kinds of pissy and passive aggressive."

Riley sat up a bit straighter. "I always liked Xander." Fun guy, and he detested vamps. Not big on stealth, though.

Buffy shot him a look. "Don't go there, Riley."

Daniel's curiosity was killing him. "You dated vampires? Plural?"

"Long story."

Jack ran a hand through his hair again in frustration and began bouncing his leg up and down. "...and getting longer. C'mon, Summers. We're gonna land in a couple of hours."

"Right. So, uh, Xand's in charge of the slayers. Makes sure they're getting along okay, that they've got everything they need, talks to them when they get homesick, listens if they've got guy issues. Keeper of the ace bandages and ice packs..."

Dawn interrupted again, always happy to talk about Xander. Back when she'd been crushing on him she'd memorized almost every word out of his mouth; she'd never really lost the habit. "He's also the active watcher for a couple of slayers–Rona and Vi–but you won't be meeting them, since you wanted to keep the group who found out about the 'gate as small as possible."

O'Neill nodded in approval. "Good. So who's Robin?"

"Robin Wood. He used to be the principal at Sunnydale High, before it fell into the giant sinkhole."

Dawn grinned. "He hired Buffy to work as a guidance counselor."

"Um...that's...a little surprising..." Riley hadn't heard this part of the story, or any of the details relating to the demise of The First–Xander and Dawn tended to avoid the topic like the plague. This Robin guy must be nuts if he'd hired Buffy to give emotional advice to troubled teenagers.

"No kidding."

Buffy scowled at Riley and her sister. "Anyway...his mom was the Slayer during the late nineteen seventies in New York City. When she died, her watcher took him in and raised him. Eventually he ended up on the Hellmouth."

"Why?" O'Neill shot Daniel a look meant to keep him from interrupting. At this rate, they really would be in Ohio before they finished this half-assed briefing.

"Everyone ends up on the Hellmouth, sooner or later." She fidgeted. It wasn't really a lie, but it obscured the details of Robin's successful search for his mother's killer and unsuccessful attempt to get vengeance for her death. Buffy figured she owed Spike that, at least. For once, he'd get to meet people with as clean a slate as she could give him.

Daniel studied Buffy closely. He had no idea what she was talking about. He could tell she wasn't telling the full truth, but had no clue what she could possibly be hiding. Still, nothing like having secrets to uncover to peak his interest. He'd figure her out eventually. Probably just in time for her to be taken over by a Goa'uld. "Oh, well, of course. Um, so what does he do?"

"He's in charge of making sure the younger girls go to school, helps the older girls with college applications if they want to go, hires tutors and translators when necessary, deals with any watcher-y type problems that come up. He's also the guy in charge of watcher recruitment on this side of the planet."

"Watcher recruitment?"

"Daniel..."

He flushed. "Sorry, Jack."

"Anyone else from Cleveland?"

Buffy stammered, unsure exactly how to explain the remaining two individuals they'd be meeting. "Uh...first, there's Faith..."

Riley began to look distinctly uncomfortable and shifted in his seat, wondering if now would be a good time to grab a parachute and jump out of the plane. Teal'c raised an eyebrow at his teammate.

Sam remembered something from Jack's original disclosure. "Wait a second. Isn't Faith dead?"

Dawn couldn't help the snicker that escaped. "Wrong slayer." Buffy glared at her.

"What?"

"Daniel..."

He looked slightly sheepish this time. "Sorry, Jack."

Buffy rolled her eyes and pointedly ignored Riley. Faith was still a sore spot for her, at least in the ex-boyfriend area. They'd worked most of the rest of their issues out. "She's been in a coma and in prison, but she's much better now. Almost completely rehabilitated."

Jack raised both eyebrows. If this Faith person wasn't on the up and up, he wasn't letting her anywhere near the 'gate, no matter what Buffy said. "Almost completely? What the hell does that mean?"

Buffy shrugged. "Basically, that she won't work for the Big Bad or torture or kill you for no reason, but that she's not above picking your pocket to get money for a pack of cigarettes."

Dawn chimed in. "She's also got a mouth like a drunken sailor." She'd learned some of her best swear words from Faith–both before and after the slayer worked with the Mayor. The rest she'd learned from her mother when she wasn't paying attention. And Spike, of course.

"I see." Jack had his instructions–recruit anyone from Buffy's organization who was willing to come to the SGC. He'd been the one to add the limitations on access from her side and he'd defend it to the Joint Chiefs if it became necessary–most of them were too young to recruit, regardless. If it meant getting another slayer for the SGC, he supposed he'd be willing to deal with a little petty larceny. As long as she didn't steal from his subordinates and kept her sticky fingers off his yo-yo. "So what's the little felon in charge of?"

Dawn's jaw clenched. "Don't call her that." These people had no conception of what Faith had been through in her life or the choices she'd made. They weren't all good decisions and Dawn still wasn't always comfortable around Faith, but Dawn could concede that the woman had occasionally made the best choices she could with what she had to work with. These days, Faith was working towards making restitution for the people she'd killed and redeeming herself for her failures as a slayer.

O'Neill flushed and rubbed his side where Carter had jabbed it with her elbow. "What's...Faith... in charge of, then?"

Buffy decided to give Dawn a chance to cool off. "She's in charge of physically training the slayers–teaching them different fighting styles and training them how to use weapons properly and safely, mostly. She also does nightly patrols."

"Who's her watcher?" Daniel was working through their system, intrigued by the hierarchy and symbiosis between watcher and slayer.

Buffy answered before O'Neill could reprimand Daniel again for interrupting. "Wes."

"You didn't say that Wes was an active watcher."

"Faith and Wes are a special case." And that was all Buffy planned to say on that subject.

"Okay...so who's the last Clevelander?"

Dawn smiled at Spike being referred to that way. No doubt, if he'd heard it, some extremely loud and silly 'Big Bad' pro-British posturing would be in order.

Buffy looked down and played with the hem of her shirt, then tugged on her sleeve. "That would be Spike."

Riley jumped out of his seat and walked to Buffy, grabbing her by the shoulders before anyone even realized what he was doing. "SPIKE? Buffy, are you out of your mind? How long has this been going on? That idiot's tried to kill you, more than once! He helped Adam! The Suvolte eggs weren't enough? Now you let him hang around with impressionable young slayers? Have you got a rotating nightly schedule for whom he's fucking? Maybe it's some kind of initiation? Want to be a slayer–gotta sleep with a vampire first!"

Dawn groaned, suddenly remembering the reason she and Xander had decided not to tell Riley that Spike had returned to unlife and was currently unliving it in Cleveland.

The SGC members were shocked. They hadn't known Riley Finn had ugliness and meanness like this in him. Buffy wasn't surprised by anything except Riley's stupidity in grabbing her. She'd thought he knew better.

"Take your hands off me, Riley. You don't have the right to tell me how to live my life anymore." Buffy broke his hold easily and stood, preparing for whatever Riley was going to throw at her. She'd known on some level that this confrontation was inevitable but wished he hadn't done it in front of a group of strangers–and Dawn, who had never heard the full story.

He dropped his hands and braced his feet, knowing that if anyone was going to take a swing and make this confrontation physical, it would be Buffy. "Right. Like I ever had that right. You never cared about an opinion I had or feeling I felt. First because of Angel, then because of Spike."

Always the peacemaker, Daniel made a move to stand up and intervene in what looked like was shaping up to be a huge argument that would be better handled in private.

Dawn, knowing how seldom her sister dealt with her past history, caught his attention and shook her head in the negative. Buffy and Riley needed to have this out if they were going to be working together regularly and she knew that if they did it in Cleveland and Spike caught wind of it, he'd snap Riley's neck, soul-having or not. Buffy and Spike might not be dating anymore, but he was still absurdly overprotective of both Summers women.

Buffy advanced a step on Riley, angrily brushing her hair out of her eyes so he got the full brunt of her anger. "Angel and Spike had nothing to do with our break-up, you ass! Okay, maybe Angel had something to do with it, since hello, major emotional baggage there, but Spike? Please! If I hadn't been ripped out of heaven, I'd never have gotten together with him in the first place!"

Sam turned around and whispered to Dawn, "Buffy was in heaven? And came back?"

Dawn whispered back, "Later." Daniel decided he was missing vital pieces of information and changed seats so he was next to Dawn and she was next to the window. Dawn probably wouldn't want to sit next to Riley for a while anyway.

Buffy continued, shouting, "Or, maybe, if my wuss-assed boyfriend had stayed with me when I needed him, I wouldn't have had to turn to someone else! Didja ever think of that, Riley?"

"You never needed me, Buffy. Maybe Spike was right–maybe you do need a little monster in your man!" Riley was yelling back. Teal'c prepared to step between the two combatants if it became necessary.

Dawn made a mental note to smack Spike upside the head when she saw him.

Buffy swung away from Riley and stomped to the other side of the plane, hands waving. He turned to face her, but wisely chose not to move closer, suddenly glad all her weapons were in the cargo hold. "Well, I'm sorry you felt unappreciated, Riley, but my mother was dying and maybe I had bigger things to worry about than your precious ego! Oh, and as if my mother's illness wasn't enough for you, let's not forget the crazy hell-god tearing Sunnydale apart looking for my sister!"

Daniel winced. This certainly hadn't been part of Riley's recitation of the facts, or even his later description of the end of their relationship. Sam looked at Dawn again and mouthed 'hell-god'? Dawn motioned that she'd explain later.

Buffy was on a roll now. Her hands were planted firmly on her hips. "And who are you to cast asparagus anyway? Who's the one who was getting suck jobs from vampire whores because he wanted to feel needed, huh? Oh! And who's the one who declared undying love and then got married to Miss Perfect Peace Corps six months later?"

Riley's jaw tightened at the mention of his wife. "Leave Sam out of this."

Having vented her spleen, Buffy lowered her voice to a more conversational level. She'd never really had anything against Sam Finn except for the fact that she'd married Buffy's ex. "Spike stayed, Riley. He refused to give Dawn up when it would have been way in his best interest to do so and he stayed and fought Glory even though he could have left at any time. While I was...gone...he stayed and cared for Dawn because he'd promised me he'd look after her. After I was...back...he was the only one who didn't make any demands on me, who didn't expect me to be all happy, cheery, ultra-thankful Buffy."

Dawn frowned. In all their years in Europe, she'd never been able to get her sister to explain why she'd gotten together with Spike.

"But, the eggs..." Riley had also stopped yelling.

"Okay, not his finest moment." Buffy had to concede that. As plans went, it was definitely one of Spike's more idiotic ones, which was really saying something. Still..."He got his soul for me, Riley. He wasn't cursed with it like Angel was. His demon decided that I should be with someone with a soul and he went to Africa and got one for me. And it almost drove him insane."

Daniel resumed studying Buffy, this time as a woman instead of a slayer, trying to figure out how the two sides of the blonde meshed together and made a whole. She must be quite a woman to inspire that kind of devotion.

"Spike is with us because he's earned it. He was there when we desperately needed him to defeat The First. Without sacrificing himself, the world would have been taken over by those Turok-Han guys–and trust me, those guys make your standard, everyday, run-of-the-mill vamp look like fuzzy puppies–and I'm talking labradors, not pit bulls."

Riley mumbled something incoherent, then said, "Dawn and Xander never gave me the details about The First."

"Did you ever ask?" Buffy's hazel gaze was steady on his. "They would have told you, but they don't like to bring it up because of Anya, and, yes, for a while, because of Spike, before we knew he was back."

"No, I didn't ask." After a quick glance to make sure Teal'c wasn't going to rip his arms off, he sat in Buffy's vacated seat. Teal'c glared at him briefly, but said nothing, as per usual.

Sam leaned over to Jack and whispered, "Back from where?"

He whispered back, "Like I know? Finn's file doesn't have any of this in it."

Sensing an end to the storm, Dawn decided to play Xander and lighten the mood a little. "If it makes you feel any better, Ri, Spike spends most of his time working with slayers. He's their training vampire. Y'know, so they learn how to fight against vamp strength and speed and there's no shockage on their first patrol."

Riley smiled at the mental picture he got of Spike being pummeled regularly by a group of young slayers who didn't bother to pull their punches. It was a good picture–full color, lots of detail, good use of light. If the annoying vampire had to hang around, Riley couldn't have chosen a better fate for him. Well, he was a creative guy and certainly could have come up with something, but this was still pretty good.

"Alrighty then, campers. Finished with the Sturm and Drang? Can we get back to the topic at hand?" Even though his tone was cheerful, O'Neill's glare promised that Riley would have a great deal of explaining to do at a later date. "Who's next?"

Dawn shrugged. "Uh, England, I guess, then L.A."

"Wow, you guys are all over the place."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

Daniel spoke up, happy that he was about to have one of his questions answered. "Who's Giles?"

Dawn smiled. "His name's really Rupert Giles, but we all just call him Giles, because we'd never be able to call him Rupert with straight faces. He's the only dad I've ever met."

Dawn was telling the truth since she'd never actually met Hank Summers, but Buffy knew that wasn't really what the SGC people wanted to know. "He's the guy in charge–he does everything. Trains watchers, researches the big demons and apocalypses, assigns research projects to the book-guys, makes sure Wes knows about hot spots where slayers and watchers have to be assigned, watcher recruitment, supervising everybody else..." Five years had given Buffy an incredible appreciation not only for what Giles did, but had also taught her enough to appreciate that she didn't have to do it.

"He's also Buffy's watcher." Dawn rolled her eyes. Only Buffy would forget to mention what Giles was best at.

"Really?" Daniel couldn't wait to meet the man–maybe Giles would be willing to lend him his diaries so he could compare the narrative with Buffy's accounts of what happened.

"Yup."

"Cool." Daniel thought he very smoothly resisted the urge to rub his hands together.

"Willow's my other best friend. She's a witch."

"Okay." Jack figured it was a mark of how strange his life had become that he didn't even bat an eye at that. "Anything else?"

"She's also a great computer hacker..." Buffy stopped, realizing too late that maybe she shouldn't have just told the government employees that her best friend regularly broke international computer laws. Oops.

Riley, recognizing her predicament, offered an olive branch. "They already had that information from the Initiative stuff, Buff."

"Is she the one who made the bug finder you used at the General's? And the homing device Dawn's got in her shoulder?" Carter was excited. Another scientist, this one good with computers! Maybe Siler would finally be able to use his leave time for something other than 'gate-related injuries.

Buffy smiled, proud of her friend. "Yes. But I should tell you right now that both she and Giles are off-limits. They need to know what's going on, but you can't have them."

Carter's face fell. So much for Siler's downtime. "Why not?"

"We need Giles where he is–he's the only one everyone trusts to have in charge. I can't imagine what it would be like if he left. Plus, he's getting kind of old to be running around the galaxy chasing down bad guys."

Dawn stared hard at the back of O'Neill's head, almost daring him to turn around and say something stupid. Teal'c caught it and chuckled quietly to himself.

Sam didn't really care why they couldn't have Giles, stuck on why she couldn't have her hacker. "Why can't we have Willow?"

Daniel was incredulous. "Sam, did you just whine?"

Oops. "No, of course not." And thank you so much for noticing, Daniel. Sure, he got his linguist, but did she get a computer genius? No, of course not. She cleared her throat, elbowing O'Neill again when she caught him smirking out of the corner of her eye. "Why can't we attempt to recruit Willow?"

Buffy was firm. Willow had to remain in England, where Giles and the coven were nearby. The influx of 'white' magic from tapping into the scythe had eventually helped Willow gain better control over her abilities, but it was still far from perfect. Especially since there was no way they could know ahead of time that a new planet's energies wouldn't make Will go all Darth Rosenberg again–and if she did, there'd probably be no way to stop her. "Willow'll help if we need it, but she needs to stay right where she is."

Dawn nodded emphatically in agreement, unconsciously rubbing her left arm. She loved Willow dearly, but had learned the hard way to respect and slightly fear the power the redhead had at her command.

Buffy looked at Riley. "Before I talk about the Los Angeles people, are you going to be okay with this or are we going to go another round over Angel?"

Riley made an attempt to appear supremely uninterested. Dawn could have told him he'd failed miserably, as could Teal'c, who'd noticed his teammate's rigid posture. "I'm fine. If you want to talk about billowy-coat, king of pain guy, be my guest."

Dawn laughed out loud at that description–wait until she told Spike and Xander–Angel'd never hear the end of it.

"Big baby. Okay, so, um, Angel. Yeah." Maybe she'd better start with someone easier. "Cordelia! She's kind of my nemesis from high school, but she moved to Los Angeles, grew up and became a seer."

"A seer of what?"

Buffy smiled at Teal'c. He might be quiet, but he certainly wasn't stupid. Not unlike Oz, now that she thought about it. "She gets visions from the Powers guiding her, Angel, Gunn and Lorne to the innocents that need to be saved from...whatever. Gunn won't be coming because he's got finals coming up and didn't want to miss them. Lorne'll probably be there, if he can get away from his club–he's an anaerobic demon."

"He doesn't need oxygen to breathe?" Hey, Sam thought, anything was possible–she was talking about demons, after all.

Dawn smiled and corrected her sister's mistake. "No. He can read your future...or your fate...or your destiny, or whatever it is he reads. You have to sing in front of him for it to work–but it doesn't have to be on key, which I guess is good if you're Angel, 'cuz wow, he's totally unburdened by singing talent." Riley smirked to himself, happy to hear that Angel wasn't good at everything.

"Oh, and I forgot that Connor's going to be there."

"I wish I could forget." Dawn had met Angel's son on multiple occasions. So far, he hadn't impressed her–all brood and scowl, no action, in her opinion. Plus, he'd slept with Cordelia, who'd practically raised him for the weeks of his babyhood. Extremely high yuck factor there. She couldn't fault him for sinking Angel to the bottom of the Pacific, though. She'd been tempted to do something similar more than once.

"Who's Connor?"

Buffy grinned evilly at Daniel's question and glanced at Riley to see his reaction. "Angel's son."

She wasn't disappointed. His jaw dropped in cartoon-esque fashion. "Excuse me? His what?"

"His son."

Riley was looking at Buffy like she'd grown another head. "But Angel's still a vampire, right?"

"Yup." Dawn was smiling now. This was definitely the fun part of explaining about Connor.

"Who's the poor kid's mother?" At the moment, all he could be thankful for was that it wasn't Buffy. Oh my god, Buffy wasn't his mother, was she?

"Darla. Angel's sire." Riley breathed a sigh of relief.

Teal'c, Sam, Jack and Daniel looked fascinated. Riley looked more confused as he remembered part of their original discussion about Angel. "But...didn't Angel stake her?"

"You bet."

"Then how..."

Dawn decided to put Riley out of his misery. "Okay, long story short, an evil law firm called Wolfram and Hart brought Darla back as a human to mess with Angel's head. From all reports, she did a really, really, really good job at it. He slept with her. Drusilla, who, in case you don't remember, is Angel's childe and Spike's sire, vamped her. Nine months later, she sacrificed herself so Connor could be born..."

Teal'c spoke up. "Like MacDuff, in Shakespeare's play about the king who usurped a country." The brutal play about the dangers of ambition was definitely one of his favorites.

Dawn continued, somewhat breathlessly. "Exactly. Anyway, this vampire hunter guy from Angel's original evil period leapt centuries of time with the help of this demon guy, Sahjahn something, who had his own motives–basically, he wanted to get the baby away from Angel, because the kid was prophesied to kill Sahjahn and he wanted to keep that from happening because he liked being alive. Or something. So the vampire hunter guy ended up leaping through this portal to a hell dimension where Connor spent the next eighteen years of his life. About three weeks later, our time, he came back with a serious hate on for Angel."

"Can't say that I blame him..." Riley mumbled.

Sam was lost for the moment in pondering the theories about time and relativity she'd be able to prove or disprove just by speaking with Connor and tried not to drool–it was so unprofessional.

Jack had been quiet, busy trying to figure something else out. "So, what you're telling me is that this vampire guy, Angel, had sex with a woman..."

"Vampire," Dawn corrected, grinning at where she suspected O'Neill's brain had gone. She and Andrew had spent an entire Saturday afternoon trying to figure this out and all they'd gotten for their pains was a couple of whopper headaches.

He rolled his eyes. "Right, of course. So this vampire, Darla, was simultaneously the vampire equivalent of both Angel's mother and his granddaughter."

"Yes."

He shook his head to clear it as Daniel put his brain to work. "And this boy, Connor, is he a vampire?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. Superhuman strength and speed, no need for blood."

"Sweet." That was a perk. O'Neill was still trying to work this out. "So, Connor is simultaneously Angel's son, his grandson and his great-grandson?" Dawn nodded, though she still wasn't positive about it. "For crying out loud, the kid's his very own country song!"

Buffy's mouth quirked up. "He's also both Spike's nephew, his granduncle and...y'know what? I'm gonna stop talking about this now because it's making my head hurt."

Dawn asked her sister, "Are you ready to talk about Angel now?" They really needed to get his out of the way before they landed.

Buffy took a deep breath. "I think so."

Daniel leaned back and made himself comfortable while Riley made a concerted effort to stay where he was–he'd already heard most of this story, but under very different conditions. He wasn't looking forward to the repeat.

"Well, I first met Angel about a week after we got to Sunnydale, when I was walking down a dark alley..."