k.
Six Narutos, and he's not sure which one he wants to be today. He lost track a long time ago of the number of Narutos that have come and gone, but he knows that at the moment, there are six of him, and no himself. If he doesn't decide soon, Sasuke's going to get impatient, but Naruto thinks it won't kill Sasuke to wait.
Sometimes, Naruto finds it hard to be himself. The different Narutos like to switch back and forth without letting him know, leaving him caught in between. Naruto wishes that they could all combine, but other days, he likes them being separate. It gets to be too much though, when all six Narutos start fighting for dominance. He feels them scrabbling under his skin, waiting to burst out and take over. Naruto tried labelling them before, but they refuse to be named or tamed. He wishes that he could fold all the different Narutos, and put them away neatly in a set of drawers, just waiting for him to wear them, but the different Narutos don't make up himself: they aren't a compartmentalized version of Naruto.
Naruto secretly thinks there's no actual Naruto deep down at his centre, but he tries to ignore that thought, because if there's no one, true Naruto, then there's really no Naruto at all, which is something he's not ready to deal with. This is the Naruto he hates the most, the Naruto that thinks of scary things, things that make him want to run away from himself, and just be not-Naruto. He likes the Naruto that likes to stay at home best, the Naruto that puddles around the house, reading or cooking or cleaning, while music floats in the background. Dreamy Naruto is the Naruto he likes; he likes the Naruto that knows how to fight well, but does things without going too far; he's scared of the Naruto that thinks dark thoughts at night, when no one's around; he's scared of the Naruto who gets angry too fast and wants to kill the people that hurt the ones most of the Narutos love, but he's most scared of the Naruto that doesn't feel, the Blank Naruto who takes over when he's least expecting it.
Blank Naruto is the one that's best at sneaking up on him, though the Naruto who's moody is almost just as good. Blank Naruto doesn't like Sasuke, but all the other Narutos do. Some of them are even in love with Sasuke, who loves Naruto just as much. But Naruto doesn't know which of the Narutos Sasuke is in love with. He's been lucky so far. Sasuke seems to like most of the Narutos, but maybe this is the day the Naruto he is will be one Sasuke won't like. Naruto can be different Narutos for different people. There's Nice Naruto, which works for a lot of people, but Naruto thinks Sasuke should be with a different Naruto. Naruto would be himself for Sasuke if he could, but Naruto doesn't know who himself is, so he'll keep changing himself. Some Narutos he doesn't want to show Sasuke, but they come out sometimes. He's managed to hide Blank Naruto, but Blank Naruto is hard to predict; Naruto thinks Blank Naruto wants out today, so he doesn't want to face Sasuke. Naruto thinks he'll stay home today. He calls Sasuke and tells him not to come over. Today, Blank Naruto will be himself, and tomorrow, he'll be the Naruto that's in love with Sasuke.
confusion has been a constant friend for the past while, and if this doesn't make any sense, i apologize. this was just something i needed to do.