Kagome excused herself quickly amid the talk of apartments. She slipped into the ladies room and quickly took out her cell phone. She tapped her foot anxiously as she listened to it ring. It didn't take long for Sango to answer.
"Kagome?"
"She's great! She's so great Sango." Kagome gushed, unable to share her happiness with someone. "She's moving here, we're going to get an apartment so I can finish school here!"
Kagome had to pull the phone away from her ear as her friend screamed. It felt so good to share this with someone, it almost made a good situation better. Kagome was unable to come to terms with how she felt exactly. She felt strange being so happy only the day after her mother killed herself. She still didn't know what to think about her own apathy. She felt like in the back of her mind she still thought she was a moster for not caring, even though the woman had been like the devil herself. Flawed as she was, she had still been her mother. But hearing Sango as happy for her as she felt herself was formost in her mind now and she allowed herself to smile and dream of the life ahead, a life filled with love and laughter instead of pain and tears.
"I'm so happy for you Kagome." Sango said, bringing the startling volume of her voice down.
"Thanks. So, we're almost done here. Hitomi needs to rest, long day. So I'm going to head back. We're going to go look at apartements tomorrow after school."
"That's great." Sango laughed happily. "We'll play video games and watch sappy movies all afternoon, eat pizza."
"Sounds like a real celebration." Kagome replied tenderly, so thankful again for her friends love and support.
"See you soon."
"Bye."
Kagome put her phone back into her pocket, standing still, alone with her thoughts. How could so much happen in just one weekend? How could her life become so different in the space of a few hours after a life of waiting? She thought about Inuyasha at the river, the feel of his lips on hers, for the first time since it had happened and grinned, pleased. How could one person prove you so wrong so quickly?
Floating on hope, and happiness Kagome left behind the thoughts that robbed her of sleep at night. It was daytime now, and she had many bright days ahead of her. She couldn't live her life a tormented soul in the name of a woman that she had never loved in life. She was no different in death. Selfish and hatefull to the end. Or was her death the one kind thing she had ever done for her daughter? It was strange to think that suicide could be a gift, but when it came down to it, that's what it had been.
Kagome shook herself again and went back out to her aunt, out of the shadows.
"You finished." Kagome said looking at the familiar collage that she and Sango had worked on together only a few days before, back when she had still lived with her mother, unsure of her future, unsure of her feelings for Inuyasha. Now she couldn't stop thinking about him and feeling that bud of hope blooming in her breast. "It looks great."
"It does doesn't it?" Sango said proudly before turning to her friend, making a square frame out of her hands, squinting through at Kagome as if picturing a photograph. "Now we need to start making the next one, a tribute to Kagome's new life."
"I like that idea." Kagome said flopping down on Sango's bed while Sango moved around the room gathering pillows and other comforts for their lazy day.
"What?" Sango paused to look at Kagome, concerned. It was only then that Kagome realized she had let out an audible sigh to echo her thoughts.
"Oh, I just...I have to go back at some point. To get my things, you know."
"Just one more time. And not alone. Then you never have to go there again." Sango pulled her friend off the bed with her free hand. "She's not there any more. Nothing there can hurt you."
"I know. I just wish I were really done."
"I know."
The two were finishing a movie when Sango sat up with a shout. The two main characters were finally sharing their first kiss and Kagome was dragged out of her pleasant daydreaming by the sound of her friend's raised voice.
"What!" Kagome jerked, feeling her heart jolt painfully in surprise.
"I completely forgot!" Sango said looking at Kagome, eyes wide with shock.
"Forgot what?" Kagome snapped, angry to be so frightened over nothing. "Forgot to take your medication?"
"Forgot to ask you about Inuyasha, smart ass."
"Ask what? What are you talking about?" Kagome knew her face was red with more than just anger now.
"He was acting awfully chivalrous the other day."
"He was being kind." Kagome sighted and looked at the cieling. "I was going to tell you."
"So tell me." Sango leaned forward anxiously like a middleschooler playing truth or dare.
"It's not that much. At first it was just...strange. He knew, you know, about my mom. Even before I actually admitted it to him really. He just started being reallys suspicious, acting like he cared, and I couldn't figure it out. Then he was just nicer, and nicer. Calling to check on me. Taking me to the park for a walk. Then, the night she died...well before she died...he kissed me." Kagome said, uncomfortable with retelling something so private, stumbling here and there.
"You kissed?" Sango said calmly, which shocked Kagome.
"We kissed." Kagome grinned.
Sango's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. At once, at a loss for words.
"Crazy, isn't it?"
"I'll say." Sango finally spoke, a smile breaking out on her own face.
"Yeah, well that's it though, we haven't had time to talk much so can we just drop it for now? I just don't really know what's happening, or what's going to happen so I just want to see where things end up. Ok?"
"Got it."
Kagome wasn't sure why she didn't just mention the phone call Inuyasha was expecting to Sango. Maybe she didn't want any more questions, or her friend straining to hear what she might say. This was something that was between her and Inuyasha, she had no idea what might happen. She told her friend she had to go to the bathroom, then slid quietly outside. The call would have to be brief, and quiet.
"Hello?" Inuyasha voice replaced the ringing of the phone.
"Inuyasha, it's Kagome." She said feeling a knot in her stomach.
"How are you?" His tone took on a quiet, tender tone that made her knees go weak.
"I'm fine. Hitomi is amazing." She smiled, remembering the first afternoon of her new life. "I'm gonig to live with her."
There was a sudden silence on the other end of the phone for an agonizing minute while Kagome tried to figure out what had suddenly upset him.
"When do you leave?" He finally asked.
"Leave? Oh!" Kagome laughed realizing her mistake. "No, she's moving here. We're looking at apartments tomorrow."
"Oh." Inuyasha let out a nervous chuckle in an attempt to dispell some of his tension.
"I just wanted to let you know I was ok." Kagome said, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable, her face burning.
"I'm glad you're ok, that everything worked out." There was a brief pause before he spoke again. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah, see yah." Kagome hung up, not sure how to feel.
She hadn't expected a vow of undying love, or even a conversation anywhere near that direction. She just couldn't help feeling a little let down at the leangth of the talk, the shallowness of it. But then again, was touched by the warmth in his voice, and his obvious worry that she might leave. Deciding to feel good about things she went back into the house.
It almost felt like a crime to go back to school. When it came down to it Kagome could have stayed home with a reasonable excuse. But if she'd stayed home every teacher would ask after her and if Sango, Miroku, or Kagome were present they'd have to say something if not the whole truth. But there would always be someone that knew somehow, and in the end they would all know. She'd have returned to strangers giving their condolances, people who never cared about her before pretending to be upset by what had happened to her. Then still others would whisper, watching her with curious eyes. No one really knew now. Everyone treated her the same as they always had, as one of the more forgotten faces in the sea of people.
Miroku appeared at her locker before homeroom, looking grave and serious. He opened his mouth and Kagome was sure it was to ask her how she was, and she was growing very tired of that.
"I'm fine, I'd really like to just have a normal day. Could we not act like I'm a fragile little doll?" Miroku let her cut him off but continued to look skeptical. "Really. I am fine. She was a wretched woman, she never acted like a mother so I won't mourn for her as one."
"Alright. I guess we're all just a little on edge. It's more about what she did to you than what happened to her." Miroku looked considerably more upset at the mention of Kagome's long kept secret.
"She can't hurt me any more." Kagome said, realizing that this was the first serious conversation she had ever really had with Miroku.
They had never been friends before he had started dating Sango, and though now they considered themselves friends it was a more shallow relationship than some friendships. They liked each other, they enjoyed each others company. Maybe she just compared it to her friendship with Sango too much. Not everyone could be like a brother or sister to you. But now, watching Miroku looking at her with that concern in his eyes, that kindness and caring, she felt closer to him. She felt a great swell of affection for her new friend and before she could let her shy nature hold her back she threw her arms around him.
"Thank you for caring."
"Any time."
"Did I miss something?" Sango asked as she materialized at Miroku's shoulder, attempting to sound put off but unable to keep the smile off of her face.
"I'm trying to steal your man." Kagome letting go of Miroku and turning back to her locker. "I was attempting to seduce him with my feminine charms."
"Good thing I caught you then." Sango finally let her face break into a grin and slid an arm around her boyfriend's back.
"Where's Inuyasha?" Kagome asked casually when they'd all had a laugh.
"Must be running late." Miroku said with a shrug.
"Must be." Sango added and pointed down the hall. "Just got here."
Kagome turned to look in the direction Sango indicated. Sure enough Inuyasha was only just opening his locker, looking slighly harrassed. The rest of the hall was slowly drifting to their homerooms, the bell would ring soon and even Sango and herself should be moving towards there own nearby classroom. Kagome started to walk slowly, hoping to simply catch Inuyasha's eye if only for a second. She was just outside the door when he finally looked up. They looked at each other for only a heartbeat. Kagome was slightly suprised by his lack of expression. His face was cold, as she'd often seen it, however his eyes were not angry or unfeeling so she tried to not let herself get too worked up.
She fidgeted all through homeroom, waiting for the bell to ring and send her to first period. She both longed for and dreaded first period. She wanted to find out why Inuyasha suddenly seemed so cold again, but she also feared gaining that knowledge. What if he regreted what had happened the other night?
When the bell rang she rushed from her seat, but found her footsteps slowing more as she approached the art room. She paused in the doorway her stomach churning.uncomfortably.
Inuyasha was already seated at one of the back tables, already at work sketching something. He looked up when she walked in and paused at the front of the room. She swallowed and didn't give into the urge to avert her eyes and slide into the closest empty seat. She walked right back and dropped her backpack on the seat beside him before going to get her supplies.
She took her seat and laid out her things. She turned and forced a happy face.
"Good morning." She tried to say as cheerfully as she could manage without sounding fake or crazy.
"Morning." He said flipping his sketchbook to a blank page before looking at her. "How are you? You're ok?"
"Yes." Kagome said with a disbelieving peel of laughter. "Didn't I say I was when I called you yesterday?"
"It's just hard to believe that the girl I sat with in the hospital could be fine today." Inuyasha said somberly.
Kagome know she blanched at his words, suddenly unable to look into his face. She idly twisted one of her rings, watching the light catch in the stone. Looking anywhere but that closed face, those intnese eyes.
"Well I realized you were right." Kagome was growing more uncomfortable. "I can't say anyone deserves to die. But she wasn't at all sorry excuse for a mother, a sorry excuse for a human being. She chose death. Why should I be sad. I'll always feel a little guilty for hesitating though."
"Just like that then?" Inuyasha's face didn't give away what he was feeling at all, and neither did his voice.
"Not just like that." Kagome hissed, venom soaking her words. "You have no Idea what's going on in my head, what's been going on in my head."
"You're right. I don't." He turned back to his work. "I'm just worried about you I guess."
"Nothing to worry about." Kagome replied in a somewhat sulky tone.
Where she had been warmed by Miroku's concern she was angered by Inuyasha's. Miroku had been kind; Inuyasha spoke flatly, avoided her eye, and kept his void of any expression. It was as if nothing had changed between them. As if it were merely the same class where he had tried to put a voice to his suspicions about her home life. But that showed he cared didn't it? Then why was he acting so cold?
"Alight." He finally looked up at her, she almost though she saw his frown deepen if anything.
"Really, I'm fine." She said, growing very tired of having to say it.
"So you said." And finally his lip twitched at the corner, that familiar hint of a smile, but his eyes still retained a strange hint of melancholy.
As soon as the last bell rang Kagome snatched what she needed for homework out of her locker and slid into the girls bathroom. It was empty. Everyone was heading for the doors to freedom as fast as they could. She threw her backpack down and looked at herself in the mirror. By now she looked distinctly miserable. There were bags under her eyes and her frown lines seemed so pronounced. She splashed some cold water on her face and took a deep breath. She had been scattered all day. Unable to think straight.
She felt rediculous, thinking of Inuyasha so much. She was acting like a child. But whenever she looked up she wanted him to be there, and everytime he was he was watching her with those eyes. The eyes she loved so much were wrong now somehow. Hawkish in his scrutiny, cloaked with that strange skeptical look. Kagome hated herself for letting him get to her like he did.
She looked down at her hands, unable to look at her own reflection any longer. Without really thinking she rolled up her shirt, first one sleeve, then the other. Her pale arms almost shone in the florecent lights. The lurid purple bruises that had marked her flesh for as long as she could remember were now weak, and sickly fading into obscurity never to return as they once had been.
She sighed and and rolled her sleeves back down. Soon they'd be gone completely and she'd only have the bruises on her heart and mind to stand for the years of abuse that she had suffered at the hands of her mother.
She flinched slightly when she stepped out into the sun. The light struck her like a blazing fist causing her to pause in her stride. The door swung shut behind her and she was roused from her fatigued trance. She rubbed a hand over her face and took a deep breath. Then she saw him.
Inuyasha was sitting in front of her on the stairs that overlooked the small parking lot in back of the school. But he wasn't looking out at the sea of black concrete, or at the few remaining cars. He was sketching, as she'd seen him do before. Completely focused on his work, pencil flashing quickly and confidently across the page, his head bent low over the paper. He probably woulnd't notice if she simply passed by and went to her car, he wouldn't even look up. But instead she sat down next to him and leaned over his shoulder, though she wanted dearly to run. The shadow that slipped across his work was what stirred him, or perhaps it was the long strand of her raven hair brushing agaisnt his arm that did it. Either way he went still, pencil still pressed to paper.
"What are you drawing?" Kagome said, knowing her voice sounded timid.
He turned to look at her and Kagome braced herself for what was to come. But for once that day the shields were down, the mask was gone. He looked like the Inuyasha she had grown to know, and to like. He searched her face for a moment and she even felt a bashful flush spread across her cheeks. But she kept her face open, willing her expression and her eyes to speak for her.
"Want to see?" He asked finally, his tone quieter than usual.
Kagome nodded and Inuyasha handed her the sketch book as he had done once before. Kagome felt a sudden glow of happiness as she took it into her hands. It was something she knew he didn't show many people, if any. She was pleased he allowed her these glimpses deeper into him.
Kagome felt a wave of recognition wash over as it had once before, for the girl on the page before her was herself. But this time she did not appear to her as a frail and fragile beuaty posing demurely on the page. The backdrop was so sterile, the white tiled floor, white walls. She sat in a single chair leaning her head against the wall, her arms limply at her sides, the sleeves of an oversized sweatshirt covering her hands, hiding all but the tips of her fingers. Her eyes looked blanky to one side through strands of displaced dark hair. It was sad and lonely picutre.
Kagome looked up at Inuyasha and didn't know what to say. He was watching her closely and his face was fairly gaurded again. Kagome wasn't sure if she wanted to cry and thow herself into his arms, or throw the sketchbook into his face, such a tumult of emotions raged inside of her. Would he never let her rest? But he'd seen into her soul that night, and it was there on the paper, poured into that lonely, broken girl.
"Don't tell me what you think." Inuyasha said finally. "I don't even known what I think of it. I don't think it's a picture you can say is 'lovely' or something you can like at all. It's just, the truth."
"You described it perfectly." Kagome went to hand it back but he didn't move to accept it.
"Don't tell me you're ok, Kagome. Don't tell me you're fine." He leaned in, his mask giving way. "Because I know you're not fine. You're better. I can see that. But there's no way you're ok, no way she" he pointed at the picture "is simply 'ok.' And you don't have to be. Just don't lie to me."
"What gives you the right to talk to me like that? You don't know anything." Kagome was taken aback by the frankness of his sudden statement.
"I know you better than you think Kagome. I know you like to pretend everything is ok. You don't like people paying too much attention to you. You've always wanted to blend into the background. Mabye that's because you never got the right attention from your mother, or because you got too much of the wrong attention from her. But that's why you keep telling everyone you're 'fine.' You don't want everyone making fuss. Well I'm not buying it. I'm not going to stop watching out for you, so get used to it."
Kagome was stunned into silence. He really did know her better than she had imagined. He understood her, and that surprised her even more.
"We're always here for you. Sango, Miroku, and I. Just talk to us, don't be afraid to hide how you're feeling."
"Why?" Kagome asked without really knowing why, tears starting to slip down her face.
"Why?" Inuyasha managed a small laugh, his face lighting up in a genuine smile. "Because we care about you. Because I care about you, Kagome."
"I was beginning to wonder about that." Her own sense of humor returning to her in spite of her tears.
"You doubted me?" He still wore his lopsided smile.
"Well you were being so cold today."
"I didn't think it was the time to talk about those things."
"Well what do you think now?" Her grin widened.
"Well..." Inuyasha pretended to ponder as he leaned closer, then placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her smiling mouth.
I know that took me a while to get to you all but I'll try my hardest to get the next one out faster to make up for it. I hope you all liked it. We just might get a visit from a certain wolfish fiend in the next chapter or two...