Chapter 6

Heart stone

The greatest shame was that there were no stars. Ethers of pure potential, the clay which existence was wrought, swirled around like mist outside. It lapped the sides of the building, a touch of chaos to a mask of order. Misty threads of purple writhed, they entangled amongst themselves tying and twisting till swollen and bloated they became a solid wall of twitching purple that again broke apart into threads and began the repetitive and twisted dance yet again. He watched the process, not really seeing it for having seen it so many times before. He tapped his foot waited with impatience, his motions of temper disturbed the angels, his movement wrenched them back to the world. Their gazes were neither hostile nor friendly, they stood and seeing he was no enemy let him pace, but every time they forgot they would again follow him with their glassy eyes. He timed it, having enough time in his waiting to do so. Every five minuets they looked up, jerked, and then recalled from the sorry excuses that served them as memories, that he was no foe. So in truth Mithos' vision of perfection had the memory of a goldfish. That thought would have brought a smirk to his lips, laughter to her, now he felt nothing but a numb acknowledgment.

She would have loved to see this place; it's filled with all the best carvings of the beasts of legend. She always wanted to see so much, no matter the danger she wanted to see the world.

That thought only passed through his mind, set of waves of agony, and then faded. As all thoughts of her did, it brought a cold stinging agony to his heart, to his soul. Perhaps one day soon all thoughts would cause no pain. They could very well have nothing to rake with their poison seeped talon tipped hands after today. Like a man on the edge of reason, hovering on the edge of the precipice whose bottom was not jagged stone but insanity. He savored the pain even as he feared it. Black stone, onyx sheathed heart to a city of lifeless marble and light, how fitting. He toyed around with the idea of just calling down his power, obliterating this hellish room, then Yggdrasil would come to him and the pain would stop after a howling death. Perhaps he would be submerged in the river of angelic mana, his essence over ran with that scalding hot power, it would be fitting to be baptized in the very filth that had brought him into this twisted life. Only a few words held him back, her words and his promise.

"There is something I must do."

A dry litany, an endless chant that clanged against the steel walls of his shriveled soul like a bells clapper sent sounds smashing into the walls of a bell.

"HE will see you now, he awaits you in the Throne room."

Kratos turned the angel, lean, a mere slip of a man who was as pale as a ghost and wore silver streaked robes. Those wings were grotesquely large, almost as long as Kratos was tall. Disgusting, Kratos shivered at the sight. Soon Ygdrasil would pin wings on sticks by the look of things. Yggdrasil had fallen into the custom of starving the would-be angels with a month's fast before inflicting the change upon them. Some crap about purity.

Rumors spoke that he was honestly killing a number of the 'enlightened' by having them fast to death. That he was turning the magi into something wholly different from angels. Nether Kratos nor Yuan had proof of that crime yet, but Kratos would be none too surprised if that was the case.

"Were you one of the ones he fasted?" Kratos muttered an absent question whose answer he did not care to hear.

"HE will see you now…"

"I know that you poor bastard, I'm well aware."

Kratos turned walked away. Behind him, staring at the space he had just occupied, the angel began to speak yet again.

"HE will see you now…"

And so he would remain until over a month later Yuan would see him and gently tell him to go back to his position in the false night sky of Welgaia.

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"Kratos, my Brother." Yggdrasil smiled, he was in his adult form sitting so straight Kratos almost asked the Seraphim Lord if he had a rod stuck up his ass. It was tempting, but Kratos squelched the rebellious anger in him. "You have returned to us at long last."

"We are not Brothers and I have returned to take what is mine." Kratos whispered, his eyes locked upon the length of gold chain around Yggdrasil's throat. "You have become a thief Yggdrasil, I expected no less from you."

"I am hurt."

"There's nothing in the vicinity of your body to even resemble a heart to even hurt." Kratos said with no emotion in his voice. "I want my locket Yggdrasil."

"Ah my mentor, aren't want and have two totally separate things? You once told me that men do not get all they want…" Yggdrasil smirked. "It is a pretty babble, the picture inside of course is disgusting, but the workmanship of the talisman is impressive."

"Talk to Kvar, he knew who made it, as I last heard he vivisected the man who made it." Kratos let his dead eyes lock his former students. "Give it back to me, it's mine."

"Or what?" Yggdrasil hissed. "You have no right to ask anything of me! I merely acted to save you, to better you, and what do? You do you draw my blood, hinder my causes, all for some filthy human..."

"I am not here to talk-"

"Well too bad." Yggdrasil made a gesture and the teleport runes snuffed out like a candle. "I am!"

"Then beat your breast bloody and speak until your jaws fall off to one of your pawns."

"One of which you are. You are mine Kratos, mine. No one, human or angel, owns you but me."

Kratos smirked, swayed as he stood, and heard a woman's voice in his ear, an echo of an old outrage.

What delusion do you think you've been living off of? You don't own me, I own me, no one else. Not you, not my family, not any half elf who's got it in his sick twisted pulp for brains that he's better then me! I own me, the way you talk about it it's like you want to freaking have me. Well guess what, you're so not my type!

"Tell me… My Lord… What delusion do you think you have been living off of? You don't own me, no one does save me. Not you, not Martel, not Yuan, none of you have claim over my soul or body." Kratos' lips curled into a cruel smile. "I never did know your preferences went in the direction. That explains all of the male angels don't it?"

Yggdrasil went crimson, sputtered in rage.

Kratos was hardly done yet; he smiled at the air in front of him, hearing a whispered encouragement, feeling a tingle of her hands weaving through his drawn wings.

"Tell me… My Lord… was it pleasant, mating with a being that has no soul? I've always preferred my partners to be lively but then perhaps your taste of more docile mates stems from your lack of stamina."

Light crackled from Yggdrasil's hands and Kratos laughed.

"If you do that you'll give me everything I want. Be weary Yggdrasil, though Origin has dictated that you should continue to live he has put no such restrictions upon me. I can die, you can kill me, and Derris Kharlan will fade into nothingness the second that occurs."

"You lie!" The seraphim roared.

"Gift me death then my Lord and see."

The light around the hands intensified, shifted, engulfed the man until only a child remained.

"My Brother, my mentor, you can not mean such a thing." In his Mithos form the abomination walked to him, enfolded him in a hug. "Look at you; you're pale, sick…. When you get better I know you'll stop saying such horrible things…"

"Unhand me."

So awful was that tone that Yggdrasil did so, he looked up his crystal eyes wide in shock, in pain. Kratos reached forward, gently unfastened the locket from Yggdrasil's chest and slid the chain around his neck and closed the clasp. Kratos turned on his heal, he was trapped, could not leave until Yggdrasil opened the path for the throne room was so heavily shielded that even in the peak of his power he could no fly through. He walked to the teleport pad, stared at the false boy.

"Undo the lock."

Yggdrasil shook his head, looked up at his teacher with grim defiance.

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"Speak." Kratos whispered, his dead eyes looked to the ether shield in a manner that was neither bored nor concerned. The world could end while he stood there and he'd hardly care.

"She meant a lot to you, Yuan said you loved her like I love Martel, is that true?"

"Yes," It was a bare whisper.

Kratos' fist clenched, then relaxed and he leaned against something and nothing all at once. Mithos frowned, concerned. Kratos talked to himself now, listened to things no one could hear, and smiled this horrible empty smile at the air. He was going crazy; Mithos had heard that crazy people did all those things. For Martel, because Martel loved Kratos, Mithos was going to save him. Despite all the nastiness Kratos was showing him.

Because that's what friends do.

And they were friends, friends forever, Kratos had promised long ago when they were fighting in the final war of the Kharlan Wars.

"I can bring her back; all I need is her ex-sphere or her cruxis crystal."

Kratos stopped breathing, stared at Mithos for a long moment with wide tormented eyes.

"Since she's human any female angel could hold her soul because they don't have souls. We could extract her soul from her ex-sphere and transplant it. No one gets hurt, she's back, and you'll be happy again wont you?"

"That won't bring back my son." Kratos croaked, he was shaking and looked if at all possible even paler.

"Snatch some brat off the street, wipe clean his mind and then transplant all the memories of your son into him, a few twists in his head and he'd be an instant copy." Yggdrasil sighed a wistful little sigh in his child form. "And we could get a dog, I've always wanted a dog, so if we do get a dog we share alright?"

Kratos did not seem to hear, his eyes were closed his lips moving, his swaying was even worse.

"Kratos…" Mithos wished Yuan was here, Yuan could explain why Kratos was so sick looking.

"Anna…" Kratos shivered as her hands gently traced the line of his jaw, slid across his tunic in a teasing caress. She tugged at his pocket, where the stone was. He closed his eyes, drew out the small faceted stone, and Mithos gasped. The stone was glowing! No the blue streaks were moving and glowing!

"Give that to me! Give it to me and we can do it, right now! Her whole soul is there, that's the only reason why her crystal is acting like that!" Mithos shrilled, his eyes wide, entranced by the gentle light. That light was fast becoming not so gentle however. "It's so bright… It hurts! Kratos give it to me or put it away!"

And the Lord of Heaven, Lord of Angels turned away from the light and shielded his eyes as it seemed Kratos did not hear him. He rose his voice, but could not speak over the roaring of the star light.

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"Give it to me!"

"I'll take what is mine, what by right belongs to me!"

"You belong to me Kratos, to me no one else!"

"Anna," His voice was so soft, gentle; he looked into the blazing light, not pained at all by the silver blue stars that wheeled madly in the gem. If he made this decision without speaking to her he would be as guilty as Yggdrasil or Kvar in causing her more pain. "Tell me of your will. No," Kratos heard the howls of Mithos' insanity battering against his ears. "Show me for my ears are deaf in this storm."

A hand slid over his heart, hers. He smiled slightly, slipped his hand over hers. Her fingers tugged on his vest, tugged at the buckle of the belt that slung over his heart. Kratos did so, clawed at the fabric till it ripped and stared at the expanse of red, the glittering red gem that lay over his heart.

That led to his heart, the stone that traced a crystal path through his heart.

Her hands tugged, insistent, demanding, he could deny her nothing.

His fingers closed over the gem, pain shot through him, he ignored it, pulled and with a cry of agony sank to his knees as something ripped inside of him. Wet spread from between his clenched fingers, wet crimson, neither hot nor cold. Not even in death he could be gifted a mortal's sensation, he was denied that and justly so. Something ripped; he held a wet crimson mass in his hand.

He held his heart

The stone that was his heart.

'The stone that is your heart shall be hers'.

"Did you see Martel, did you see this? Do you see now?"

"I know it's such poetic none sense but for what it's worth my heart is yours." He smiled, kissed her hand and she laughed though tears fell down her face. "I don't have a ring or anything… my people don't make such gestures on our weddings… We're ah supposed to… you know…" He blushed.

"Oh, know what?" Anna laughed. "It's alright, I completely understand. Your people must have been very strange, no rings, no vows..."

"I hold as my people did to one vow, to love the person I kneel before for all of my life. I can only hold as they did to one promise, that through my life I will be by your side, and when the Dark of Death comes I still will walk through that Dark to be by you, no matter how terrifying or daunting the tasks that stand before me may seem. All I can give you… is my love… my life… despite the corruption of the last and the weakness of the first it's all I truly have and it is yours to take or forsake in this one moment and always…"

Tears burned in his eyes as she looked at him shaking. He shook his head as she moved to speak.

"Will you lay down your father's name and honor me by taking my own? Will you do so in the name of not just my love but your own and know that in so doing accept that we will become not two people but one?"

Tears fell from Anna's face as they fell from his.

"Yes." Her voice was shaking as much as she was.

He could not believe his ears, his lips moved to ask what she had said.

"Yes, yes, yes, YES! How many times do I have to say it before you hear it!" She threw herself into his arms. "Yes I'll take your name! I'll take you, feathers and all!"

He pulled her to him, lost himself in her arms even as she lost herself in his.

He let fall the stone, the crest attached to the stone, let fall away the red liquid sheathed babbles. He stared into the swirling lights of Anna's soul, shaking he rose to his feet though he felt himself growing weak. There was a wide red stain across his tunic, he hardly cared. A voice, not hers, was calling to him in terror, it was as nothing. There was a gapping hole, a massive wound, he gently set his hands over it. She helped him, guided his hand, kept it steady even as he had to rip it open farther so they could...

Together they set the stone across the wound, and he shuddered as power flooded into him. He shuddered in ecstasy, as he felt her within him. Pain became nothing, her scent her touch, she flowed into him, all her memories. The light faded, flickered, went out, and his wings gently fanned him, holding him for his legs and mortal body had fallen under the strain. He hung limp yet tense, his eyes closed, ragged panting coming from his lips.

"What did you...?" Mithos stared at the bloody crystal, the crest, and looked at Kratos in horror.

"You can't wear that, not without the crest, you'll die!"

Kratos' eyes slid open, like a man who was waking from a sleep, that smile was on his lips, that horrid empty smile.

"It…" Blood framed his lips, he seemed to have been dragged in it he was so bloody. "It not… my time… Authority… She… wont… hurt me…"

He let out a soft sigh and his wings slithered into his back and he fell to the earth.

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Yuan shivered, after hearing Mithos' story… after seeing Mithos like that. The leader of Cruxis had been hysterical, a lost lonely child crying out for comfort. He had given what pale poor comfort he could. And Yuan now stood lonely watch over the man who should by all accounts be dead.

For all that's worth I'm here Brother.

The blue haired Seraph patted Kratos' shoulder. The auburn haired seraph did not so much as stir, save to draw a breath.

Never had Yuan seen so much damned blood, never, Kratos had bleed himself dry and a test with some of his lab equipment had shown that the thin needle like protrusion on the stone had literally had pieces of Kratos' heart stuck to it.

Who'd have thought you'd literally rip your heart to shreds, even I never went that crazy.

All the signs had been there too. He'd been reclusive, distant when in presence of those he was closest to. He'd already tried to kill himself.

He was recovering! Syt, Altessa, they all told me that, and I was seeing it too, then Yggdrasil shoved him over the edge. I can't believe that bastard made the God damned offer, I told him not to!

Yuan shivered. He was torn between admiration that Kratos had the courage to denounce the corrupt offer, and horrified. Had the same been made to him so soon in his grief –as it had been done by Mithos- well he already knew that answer. He was trying to fix the cost of that ill thought out answer. The bed moaned, or rather the person on the bed moan.

"Easy." Yuan smiled in relief, gripped Kratos' shoulder. "You're pretty screwed up right now you know that? You've been sleeping for three months now and seraphim or not that means you are going to be eating if you can. You are hungry, aren't you?"

"A little…" Came the soft croak, Kratos' eyes glittered with a strange light.

"Great I'll get to work on that spaghetti then."

Kratos made a coughing choke that would have once been a vocal scream of protest.

"I'm joking orisis," Yuan used the archaic word for brother absently. "I figure with my bad humor playing nurse you'll get on your feet faster."

There was a soft bitter laugh, it was a start.

Yuan already had prepared a meal, a beef stew that he knew Kratos liked. He only cast a spell to heat up a bowlful and then returned to the room. Kratos was in such a state the half elf figured he'd never realize the trick. He firmly set a pillow on Kratos' bandaged chest then set the bowl over that.

"You healed up nicely despite trying to do yourself in."

Kratos snorted, tried to reach for the spoon but could not. Yuan decided pride be damned and put the full spoon in front of the man's face.

"Eat of look more attractive when I dump this on you, what's it going to be?"

Kratos sullenly opened his mouth and endured being spoon fed.

"Three months?" Kratos whispered.

"Impressive, I knew you were lazy but you had to go and really prove it didn't you?"

Kratos chuckled at the old running joke between them wound down to its conclusion.

"How are you feeling?" Yuan stared down at the man, who just calmly returned that stare.

"Better, since that night."

Nothing, no lies, not the lies of a man not wanting to be left alone to die, Kratos was telling the truth.

Shaken Yuan set aside the bowl, half eaten and pulled off the pillow. He could not believe that, could not accept that. Kratos was weaker then a newborn kitten, there was no way he was better. And yet that calm, tranquil smile that Yuan was favored with made his thoughts into lies.

"I'm going to sleep again…" Kratos whispered. "Not as long I don't think…"

"He wants to see you, do you want him here in your house, because if you don't I'll fight to keep him out."

Steel flashed in those eyes, hatred so sharp it cut through Yuan and left him as nothing.

"Let him come, not the time yet, but closer, it's getting closer… They'll rise up and destroy him, but not yet… Til then he may come, I need to talk to him anyways. Till then, let him know." Kratos' eyes slid shut. "There is nothing between us."

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"Nothing between us? He's forgiven me and come back!" Mithos squealed he was so bloody happy. Yuan quietly entertained images of skewering the brat's heart but kept that private.

"I don't think he's totally forgiven you." Yuan snarled. "He seemed angry."

"Nothing between us, what else could it mean? No grudges, no anger, he's letting it all go now and becoming as he was always meant to be!"

No friendship, love, or history either if you looked at the flip side. Yuan wondered what exactly Kratos had meant, but he had a charge to go back to. Let Yggdrasil sit on his throne of madness and see great deeds and wonders, there was a dark room with a chair he needed to fill and the hints of twisted dreams that Yggdrasil wore over him was turning Yuan's stomach.

"You're not angry with me, are you Yuan?"

Damned false child, damned murder! I hate you! I hate what you've twisted my love for my brother, and my wife, and the world, into!

Those words would damn him, but they were truth, but he killed truth to speak in lies.

"Of course not, I'm just worried for Kratos."

"Thank you Yuan." Mithos snapped his fingers and the kendama he'd been toying with vanished into a flash of light. "Go get some rest, I'll look over Kratos for a little."

"I'd rather…"

"You must be very tired after all you've been with him for months. And he wanted to talk to me, I wonder about what? Oh well I imagine…"

Yuan hadn't even been heard.

Sighing the seraph left Yggdrasil to weave his dreams of mist and poison, left him alone, and hoped that Kratos was strong enough to stand against Yggdrasil because he certainly wasn't. How humbling and horrible a thought that was.