The Empty Box
May 6, 1995—early evening
Josh hated the weekends. It always seemed to drive the point home that he didn't have
any real friends. Yes, he could talk to Freddy Woodward and the like from the "loser
table" and it's not that they were all bad kids. But there was no one to hang out with.
There was no one his age that would want to go to the Magic Bee with him. So he did
what he did every weekend afternoon that he was alone. It was something so shameful
in the young boy's eyes that he never told his parents or his Grammy. If all of his
classmates knew about this, the girls would laugh in his face and the boys including
those at the "loser table" would beat him up. On his seventh birthday when he cleaned
his room very good not only was he rewarded with a double chocolate fudge cake but
also with a few greenbacks he went to the indoor flea market with Grammy and
purchased two things. One a kiddie introduction to magic kit and two something he
didn't want anyone to know about. Josh was afraid his father would think there was
something wrong with him. He thought he was quite clever hiding what he didn't want
anyone else to see in his Batman knapsack. From then on he always purchased his
lifelines via catalogue. He would pay by money order that he'd have Walter get him at
the local Zippy Mart and that was the end of that. Kimberly didn't care and he always
told Walter it was some magic accessories, which he always bought something
whenever Grammy would give him more money for being a "good kid" and that wasn't
even counting the holidays and his birthday.
He thought the months would have gone different, but he screwed that up when he went
over to the popular table and put the olives up his nose. There were not anymore
exuberant or otherwise diary entries about any of those kids. Josh lost what little bit of
courage he had and couldn't even wave 'hi' to Drake Parker in the halls. He always
had a flock of girls around him as if he was the Fonz and they were starring in an
elementary school production of Happy Days.
It was difficult for Josh to make friends and there were times when he didn't think
himself as worthy of having any. He laid on his stomach, his face buried in his pillow.
He wasn't crying today. He was only sulking. Josh wished he could be an adult. At
least he could be out in the world making money and having a purpose in the world.
Josh was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear the knock on the door.
"Josh," Walter walked in his son's very neat and organized room, "Are you okay, son?"
"Yeah, Dad."
"Would you like to go out tonight? Maybe we could go bowling?"
"No, thanks."
Walter saw the empty box that Josh tried to hide in his yellow wastebasket.
"Josh, did you eat all of these cupcakes today?"
A package of Devil Dog's cupcakes and all of their wrappers were crammed behind
some of Grammy's old JcPenney and Sears catalogues.
Josh still didn't face his father. He couldn't lie to the man the truth was already out in
the open.
"Yeah."
Walter Nichols sat next to his only child. "You weren't eating out of hunger, you were
emotionally eating."
"I know. I watch Oprah."
"Josh, I love you, you're a great kid, with a great personality. I know your mother and I
argue sometimes…"
"No, you two argue everyday."
"That might be true—but you don't need to do this to yourself. I didn't have a great self-
esteem growing up either and I don't want you to go through what I did."
"I'm okay, Dad, really, I have my magic and video games."
And that other thing that he couldn't tell another living soul about, even his father. Josh
just couldn't risk the humiliation.
"Those are good things, but what is even better is making new friends. What
happened to….."
Josh had the habit of cutting sentences off. He just couldn't bear to hear the rest.
"They have better things to do than hang around with me. Actually, it was only one kid
really."
"What's his name?"
"I'd rather not say, Dad. He's too popular and cool to be seen with a buffoon like me."
"Josh, you are not a buffoon and you won't know until you really try."
"I CAN'T! I made a fool of myself in front of him. It feels like it happened yesterday,
which is how it is with us kids. He'd never like me in a million years."
"I'm sure he's a great kid just like you are. Maybe you can invite him over…"
"NO! He doesn't live in an apartment. He lives in a nice HOUSE! A HOUSE!"
"If he's as great as you say he is, I don't think he'd care that you live in an apartment."
"Dad," Josh sighed, "I'm tired. I'd like to take a nap. We'll still watch TV together right?"
It was always one of Josh's favorite things to do with his father, especially when his
mother was out for an "all girlfriend night".
"Of course. But I think we'll skip the pizza and have something more healthy. I don't
want you to eat out of anything other than actual hunger."
"Yeah." Josh wished he threw his garbage away better, he'd have saved himself this
lecture and he'd get to have pizza.
Walter kissed him on the cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too, Dad."
There was no way that a popular boy like Drake would ever, ever be friends with a
nerd like Josh.
There was no way in Hell that their paths would ever cross.