Author's Note: Ah memories... I have to be fair and warn you now...the story will slowly get darker from here.

Thanks to Scarlett for beta reading this for me, helps a bunch hun!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sheldon Jeffrey Sands or any other character from Once Upon A Time In Mexico, they belong to their respected creators. I just let them come and play. ;)

Sarah had been returned later that night, but Sands had, politely as he could manage through his irritation, asked her to go home. He'd told her that he would be fine by himself, and so she'd left, reluctantly, to leave Sands to his own devices.

He'd driven nearly ever nurse from his room. Only one older woman would even dare to come in, allowing his comments to go in one ear and out the other. He fought hard to regain his strength, pushing himself to his limits in physical therapy. He constantly ignored the comments that he was moving too fast, and it was only when he was completely alone that he let it show. Not only was he physically exhausted, but emotionally he was near his breaking point as well.

He was slowly getting used to the fact that his other sense were taking over, but so much fucking loud noise in OMS was giving him a constant headache. When Sarah did come back, the physical therapist had agreed that Sands could leave his room, IF he took it slow.

Of course, Sands didn't do any such thing.

By that afternoon, Sarah had followed a fumbling Sands down to the cafeteria. "She'd learned to keep her mouth shut and hands to herself whenever Sands stumbled into anything.

"Get me some coffee, will ya?" He grumbled, as he grabbed a chair near the door.

"Right, Jeff."

He heard Sarah leave her purse on the tabletop, and head to the cafeteria line. Knowing she would be stuck in line for at least a couple minutes, Sands reached across the table and grabbed her purse, pulling it towards him. He unzipped it with ease and stuck his hand in, rooting around. His fingers closed around something small and metallic.

Pulling it out, he fingered the object, frowning deeply. It was a small lighter.

He flipped open the lid as he had thousands of times before, checking it's condition. This wasn't Sarah's lighter. It never had been, not with the engraved heart and initials underneath the lid. He traced the S and C with his finger. No, this lighter belonged to Cerise Stone.

He knew, because he'd given it to her.

Vrai Amour

Sands hid the lighter under his thigh before continuing to going through Sarah's bag, but came up with nothing more of interest. She had a .22, Sands considered snatching it as well, but thought better of it. He heard Sarah's voice reach the end of the line and quickly zipped up the bag, shoving it back to it's original spot.

He sat there, hands folded on the tabletop, white bandages just barely visible behind his black sunglasses. When Sarah returned with coffee in hand, he plastered on an all too sickly sweet smile. As he expected, she didn't notice that her purse sat a tad off from its original spot.

"How do you feel?" She asked, sitting down.

"You're not privy to that information," Sands said simply, cocking his head slightly to the side, as if gazing at her.

"Ass."

"Cheeky." He heard her laugh softly and couldn't help but grin behind his coffee cup.

Sarah looked around, noticing that they were the only ones sitting in the cafeteria at the moment, so she figured they may as well be frank with each other. "Jeff..."

"You didn't put enough sugar in it. You know, Sarah, two sugars, one creamer."

"Jeffrey."

"Which way to the coffeepot, Sarah, I'll get the sugar myself."

Sarah sighed, frustrated, before violently tossing two packets of sugar across the table. She HATED it when he avoided the subject.

"Thank you." Sands said in one of those 'was-that-so-hard?' tones. He tore the packages open with his teeth, one hand staying on the coffee cup as he lowered the other hand, dumping the sugar in. Part of one package missed the cup and tumbled over his fingers causing him to grimace slightly, but otherwise he showed little emotion.

"Jeff, please... tell me how you're doing?" Sarah begged softly.

Sands sighed with an elaborately, continuing to face her. He dropped both hands to the table, contemplating his answer for a long time. "I'm peachy keen, darlin'. Got a cigarette?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "If I give you a cigarette, will you be honest?"

"Is that what you want, Sarah? Cause by all means, if that's all it takes to get a bloody cigarette, then let's then let's seal the deal"

Sarah grabbed her purse, which brought a grin to Sands' lips. "You're starting to talk like Cerise."

Sands raised an eyebrow, but the grin never left his lips. "Indeed."

Sarah pulled a cigarette from her pack and handed it to him from across the table. He took it and set it between his lips. He wasn't going to pull out the lighter until she said something. "Hmm, I guess I left the lighter at home. I've got some matches though." She started to take one out of the book to light it for him, but he snatched the book away from her, stopping her offer for a light.

"I'm not THAT helpless," he snapped.

"I was just trying..."

"Don't fucking help me! I've told you that already!" One finger on the end of the cigarette, he awkwardly lit the match and moved his finger, slowly bringing the match to the end of the cigarette. Inhaling, he shook out the match and dropped it onto the table.

"Now for your end of the bargain," Sarah reminded him softly.

Sands took a deep drag of the cigarette and sighed. "I feel like shit, alright?" He said simply, picking up his coffee cup. He heard her sigh.

"I wish you wouldn't shove people away, Jeff."

"Darlin', if I was shoving people away, as you put it, you wouldn't be sitting there at all."

Sarah knew he was partly right, and changed the subject. "Remember those early morning coffee meetings of ours? Two... three in the morning, when you couldn't sleep..." she uttered softly.

Sands took another drag and contemplated those thoughts. He grinned slightly. "I don't think I've actually forgotten Sarah, as the last time we did that was...." He stopped, it had been the morning he'd lost his eyes.

Sarah swallowed. "I'm sorry Jeff, I shouldn't have..."

Sands shook his head, plastering another fake smile on his lips. "No worries. We'll just have to revive our little meetings," he said.

Sarah watched him closely, while leaning over the table. "Jeff, just listen to me for a second. I'm not going to claim to know what you're going through right now....but you're still my friend....so I'll always been on your side..." She said softly, touching his free hand.

Slowly he brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled deeply. His head was cocked slightly to the side as if he were gazing at her. Sarah sat back slightly. If it wasn't for the bandages wrapped around his eyes, she would have sworn he was doing what he had always done best... reading her manors.

"Are you sure that's whose side you want to be on?" he asked in a soft voice, exhaling slowly.

Sarah didn't hesitate. "Yes Jeff, I'm sure."

He gave a brief, amused smile. "The more the merrier then." His fingers felt around for the ashtray, and after location it, snubbed out his cigarette. Dropping his hand to his thigh, he pulled the lighter out from under it and hid it away in his pocket. "I'm tired Sarah, let's go back to my room."

"All right Jeff." Sarah cleaned off the table and stood, waiting for him. She could already see the trek to the cafeteria had tired him out. "Jeff, I wish you wouldn't push the physical therapy, you've only been up and about for a little less then a week."

"I'm fine!" he snapped, getting to his feet.

Despite his claim, they took it slower on their way back to the elevator. Sarah couldn't deny that he was leaning against the back mirror in pain. "I told you."

"I don't wanna fucking hear it, Sarah!" He growled as the elevator stopped. He reached out and shoved her forward as the doors opened. But he himself never made it more then three steps. As the elevator doors closed, Sands crumpled to the floor, sinking into darkness as he passed out. Sarah had just turned back to him, ready to give him a piece of her mind, but when she saw Sands' still form on the ground, she began screaming for one of the nurses, as she crouched beside him.

Cerise left for the hospital as soon as Sarah called her, arriving as soon as was humanly possible. In her rush to get to OMS, she still held a plush Tigger that she'd intended to leave with Lily's babysitter as she entered Sands' room. "What happened?!" She asked anxiously, as Sarah stood up from the chair.

They had Sands back on oxygen, and a heart monitor. "He was pushing physical therapy too hard..." Sarah said softly, looking down at Sands, who looked much paler than normal and was breathing hard in his sleep, despite the help he was receiving. "He passed out from the pain, I guess. We'd just been down to the cafeteria..."

Cerise had the sudden desire to smack Sands with the plush toy, but instead, just squeezed the neck of the tiger more.

She moved over towards the window and sat down on the small ledge. Sarah moved over to her, and sat down, facing her. "What did you do with Lily?" She asked the young mother.

"She's at Mac's. It was a last minute thing. I didn't have a chance to call her regular babysitter."

"You could have brought her." Sarah said softly.

"I could have, but I didn't want her to see her daddy like this...not yet anyway."

Sarah nodded, looking out the window for a long moment. Cerise leaned against the corner of the window, clutching the plush toy to her as she looked at Sands. "I wish he wouldn't do this to himself." She said softly.

"Ce, Maybe you should let him know...maybe now's the time for him to know you're still alive. I think... I think he needs you now, more than ever."

Cerise sighed. "The CIA would kill me..."

"When aren't they trying to kill you? But Cerise, you know as well as the rest of us do, you don't follow orders, you haven't since...."

"Since the alleyway, I know."

What woke Sands was the rush of air through his nose and he slowly came to realize that he had an oxygen tube. He felt too sore and too tired to move, and started to open his mouth to ask Sarah for some water, but shut it when he realized that there was another voice in the room.

"The CIA would kill me..." He felt every muscle in his body tense as he continued to listen. "I'll tell him..."

"When, Cerise?! You can't keep doing this to Jeff."

"Sarah, did you ever think that MAYBE he doesn't want me to be alive?"

"What do you mean, Cerise?" Sarah wrinkled her nose, in the same manor Cerise did when confused.

"I mean, maybe he's happier thinking I'm dead. Maybe....." Cerise swallowed. "Maybe he's not in love with me, as I am with him."

"Oh that's a load of cockerel, and you know it! I mean, blimey, Ce! He still wears your cross, and as we all bloody well know, Sheldon Jeffrey Sands has never had any use for God!"

Cerise smiled slightly. "You're accent is slippin' Sarah." She sighed. "He's still wearing my cross?" She questioned softly.

Sarah nodded. "I saw it one day... while one of the nurses was giving him a sponge bath."

Cerise snorted in laughter, trying to contain an outburst. "Sarah!"

Sarah grinned sheepishly.

Sands felt as if the small silver cross was burning his chest. He'd never believed in God, his mother had torn that belief from him shatteringly as a child. But Cerise had given the small cross to him the morning Monterio had shot her, and so he wore it in her memory.

She'd been lying on the bed again, a bout of morning sickness was to blame. Sands had just finished buttoning his shirt. He moved back over to the bed, and sat down behind her, leaning over. His hand ran over the slight swell of her belly, and he kissed her neck. "We're going to have to move soon, sweets," he told her.

She groaned. "I know, I know..." She muttered. Sands kissed her again and sat up.

"Shelly.." Cerise turned over slightly to look up at him.

"What?"

"I've got a bad feeling about today..." She confided to him quietly.

"Yeah?" He asked, and leaned over again, kissing her on the lips. "Don't worry about it sugar lips."

She moved against him. "Well I do, and I am." He gave her a look. "I can't help it, Sheldon, I'm carrying your baby. I'm a mother to be, I'm going to worry!"

"You know how cute you are when you worry?" He asked with a crooked grin. She tried not to grin herself, but it was impossible, when his eyes twinkled mischievously like that.

He wrapped both arms around her, drawing her to him and leaning against the headboard, so that she was sitting on his lap. "Do something for me, Shelly?"

"What Cherry?" He watched her unhook the slender silver chain from around her neck and pull the small silver cross from inside her shirt. She leaned forward, and slipped the chain around his neck. He was about to protest, when she raised those dark green eyes to look at him.

"Don't take it off. I know you don't believe in God...but don't take it off...for me."

He opened his mouth to retort, but saw the pleading in her eyes. "All right, Cherry," He agreed softly, kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you, Sheldon," She said in a hushed tone. He lifted her chin up and kissed her on the lips. "Love you too, Cerise."

She wasn't here... no, she couldn't be here, now. It wasn't possible, he saw her die. He couldn't chance letting himself believe she was alive. He couldn't lose her twice, and he cursed the fact that his mind must have been playing cruel tricks on him.

But... he could swear that it was her voice he heard, clear as day, as he lay there, talking to Sarah as if she'd never left.

"Alright, Sarah. I can't stay much longer, I'd like to, but... I've got debrief duty tomorrow."

"Fun..." Sarah muttered, knowing that right now, the Company was shifting debrief duty around because of the current lack of officers in the department. Cerise nodded and stood.

"Call me though, if anything more does happen."

"Of course I will." Sarah gave Cerise a quick hug and watched as Cerise opened the door. Sarah moved back to her chair, picking up her book, when they both heard him speak.

"Love you too..." He whispered, voice harsh and raspy while he shifted restlessly in his bed.

Sarah gasped in surprise and looked at Cerise. Cerise stood motionless for a long moment, watching Sands body relax as he drifted back into a deep sleep. She shook her head and nodded a goodbye to Sarah, before leaving.

Authors Note: Thanks to the wonderful reviews, Dawnie-7

Translations-
Vrai Amour- True Love