Authors Note: Thanks to my wonderful Reviewers, you guys are great!
Thanks to Scarlett for beta reading this, helps a lot hun!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sheldon Jeffery Sands or any other characters from Once Upon A Time In Mexico, they belong to their respected creators, I just let Sands come and play, a lot. ;)
Chapter Seven
Sands went tense for a moment, then began fighting harder to get away from whoever was holding him . Cerise struggled with him, trying to keep him from doing any harm to himself, more than to her. She cringed as his head hit the bed railing and a spot of crimson began to seep through the white bandage. Sands' struggling subsided slightly as his head filled with pain. Cerise managed to grab his wrists and pin them down as she leaned over him.
"Sheldon, it's alright," Cerise said soothingly.
"Cerise?" Sands asked, turning his head in every direction, as if trying to see her.
Cerise bit her lip, then spoke softly and calmly. "It's all right Shelly, it's me, it's alright."
Sands went still for a moment, his mind reeling. It couldn't possibly be her, he'd already dreamed he'd heard her†now this. He attempted to fight back, but his head hurt to much. "No, no, you're dead..." He murmured, shaking his head back and forth continuously.
"Sheldon...... Shelly," She released one arm, to touch his cheek. Sands drew back slightly, but she caught his chin, turning his face towards her. "Shelly, darling, I'm still alive. What Sarah told you†it was for your own good."
Everything Sarah had said rushed back to him; the warning of someone unexpected, the mistake she made in the cafeteria. "But I saw you die!" he insisted.
"Shh. I didn't...I was picked up by Rick before that happened." Cerise fought to stay her own emotions, but tears were already running slowly down her cheeks.
"But... I don't... understand..." Sands said haltingly as he stopped struggling completely, a sharp numbing headache taking hold.
Cerise eased off, and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his hand. "Shelly, the agency thought... if you knew I'd survived it would only cause you more psychological problems."
He lay there for a long moment, before letting his fingers tighten around hers. "Am I still dreaming?" he whispered. "I heard you talking to Sarah."
Cerise sighed and leaned towards him, brushing a lock of hair away from the white bandages. "You're not dreaming, Sheldon. I was here with you the first week, when they brought you back from Mexico. I was here last night, Sarah called me after you passed out."
His heart wanted to believe it, his head was rationalizing it out, and he'd never wanted to see so badly as he did at that moment. "Tell me something only my Cherry would know." he muttered.
Cerise blushed before sighing again. "All those nights, when I'd have my nightmares....you used to play... the guitar... softly..." she whispered. Sands had been the only person, other then the ones who'd inflicted the memories, to know she suffered nightmares, streaming from her past, her childhood, long before she'd joined the CIA.
Sands couldn't stop the tension from leaving his body. He'd gotten the answer he was hoping for. He knew he was the only person who knew of her nightmares. Even before they'd become romantically involved, he knew of her nightmares, and even at that point they'd both discovered that he could calm her down. Sometimes he'd played the guitar softly, other times they'd just lay in the bed together, talking about anything else, and still other times, oddly, his favorite times, she'd lay with her head on his lap and he'd rub her back. So many mornings he'd woke up, still sitting against the headboard, or the back of the couch, with his arms around her, while she curled up against him, head still on his lap. Her nightmares were the only thing that made her a little girl again and in a way, Sands was happy to know he wasn't the only one who'd had such a rotten childhood. The common link fueled his love and protectiveness of her even more.
"I know... it's hard for you to understand right now..." Cerise said quietly. "I never agreed with what the Company did, but I'm still alive, and here now....and..." she hesitated. She couldn't keep herself from saying it, because it was too late now, but she still hesitated, wondering if he felt the same. "I still love you, very much so." Sands didn't reply. Cerise sighed and started to get up.
But Sands' grip on her hand tightened and he kept her from doing so. "My head's hurting to fucking much right now to try and make sense of what those fuckmooks are trying to pull on me," he said between clenched teeth, "but I'm willing... to give a little faith on your part." He was ready to believe, and his heart screamed that it was true. But then another puzzle piece fell and he raised his head. "You were four months pregnant..." he said, suddenly hearing a sob she'd struggled to hold back as he felt her tears hit his hand.
"With your daughter..."
Daughter... That word was ringing in his ears. He remembered the day she told him she was pregnant.
He was playing the guitar, on the balcony outside the bedroom. They'd argued at the office that morning and when he'd come home to his apartment that night, she wasn't there. He wasn't surprised, she always took her space when they argued, but he knew, very well, she had nowhere else to go and so now he just waited. The last couple of days she'd been very tense, her nightmares had grown. Llast night alone she'd had two, and to calm her he'd had her lay on her belly as he massaged her back the rest of the night, whispering how much he loved her in French.
His playing slowed as he heard the front door shut, and he listened to the footsteps. They paused in the hallway and he knew she was slipping off her shoes. A few moments later she appeared in the doorway of the bedroom; shoeless and standing at her full height of 5'3.
Okay, so she might not have been his cup of tea, per say, in the past, but that had changed. He strummed the guitar, watching her come closer. God she was beautiful! And his! A cocky grin spread on his lips at the thought.
She came out onto the balcony and sat down in the chair opposite him. He watched her from the corner of his eye. She was upset. He always knew when she was upset, but he waited for her to speak. She lay her cheek on the railing, watching him. He continued to play, shifting to a sweet melody she knew from her childhood. She sighed, closing her eyes and listening.
Finally she spoke. "Will you play that for our children?"
Sands continued to play, but her question was starting to set in. He looked up sluggishly at her, still playing. "Probably..." he said slowly. She nodded, looking towards the evening sky.
"I'm pregnant, Sheldon."
Sheldon looked at her, and stopped playing all at once. "Pregnant?"
"Yes, Sheldon†with your baby." She replied tartly.
He blinked. "How long?" he asked after a moment or so.
"Two months," Cerise answered softly.
Sands got up, leaving the guitar on the lounger, and moved around the balcony as he ran his hands through his hair. He was in shock, he'd never thought, he'd never even considered having children. "I.... God... this is..."
Cerise got up with a violent huff. "Whatever Sands. You can't say you don't know HOW it happened! You're the one who stopped using a condom," She stated, moving back into the bedroom. Sands turned, and saw her heading for the closet. His heart started beating faster, afraid he knew what she was about to do.
His fears where answered when she pulled the closet door open and found a black bag and grabbed a few of her things. Sands moved back into the room, pulling the balcony door closed and going over to the closet, taking her arm. "Cerise!" He turned her to him, his eyes reflecting his desperation, and that desperation was the only thing that stopped Cerise from pulling out of his grasp. He struggled for something to say, but when he couldn't form the words, she ripped out of his grasp and grabbed the last of her things, shoving them into her bag. Then she pushed past him and moved towards the dresser.
"Cherry, please!" Sands pleaded. "Stop acting like this!"
"Acting like what, Sands?! Obviously, you don't give a damn!"
"I never said that!" Sands protested, following her around the room.
"No?! What do you want me to do, Sands? I'm two months pregnant with your baby!"
"Yes, you said that... Cerise, can't we work something out?"
She stopped suddenly and turned to face him. Her motion caused him to stop too, and they stood there, mere inches from each other. "Do you want this, Sheldon? Me and the baby?"
"I'm not ready for kids..."
"Too bad..." she hissed dangerously, tears running down her cheeks. "I wont pressure you for child support." She shoved past him, and headed down the hall, forgetting her shoes and headed for the front door.
Sands sprinted after her. "Cherry, please!" he begged. He caught her at the door and she looked at him. He didn't try to hide the heartache and tears reflected in his eyes. He honestly didn't want her to leave. He loved her to damn much. But she had to know that. "Don't do this, Cherry," he whimpered.
She moaned, tempted to drop her bag right there. "I'm giving you time, Sheldon, to decided."
"Decide what?!"
"If I'm what you really want... if WE are what you really want." With that she opened the door and started out into the hall.
Sands grabbed her arm, perhaps a little harder then he'd meant to, because he heard her gasp. He jerked her back inside the apartment and slammed the door, pressing her up against it, her back to him. He kept her pinned there, hard enough so that she couldn't struggle to get away, but not hard enough to hurt her. She swallowed, but didn't say anything. She knew what kind of a temper he had, but he'd never used it on her. He knew these kind of actions, being physically restrained, overpowered by a man, abused by a man, scared her to death. She'd only barely escaped that kind of abuse from the past. Sands had no desire to use force on her, but he had to make her understand.
He pressed against her, his lips near her neck and ear. He slid one hand down the arm that was holding the bag and uncurled her fingers from around the strap, making her drop it.
"You're not leaving..." he growled in her ear. Then he slid a hand around her waist, slowly, under her shirt. "I want you..." She didn't reply, but closed her eyes. He slid his hand half way into her jeans, so that it rested over her belly, under her clothes, skin on skin. "I want this..." he said, stroking her belly, "IF it's you who's giving it to me..."
He bit her lightly on the neck, kissing her ear. "Can you not understand, Cerise Stone, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts. I'd die for you."
Cerise broke there, her knees buckled and dropped her to the floor, as she sobbed. Sands fell with her, pulling her into his arms, and holding her tight. Her face was buried in his shoulder and he felt her tears seeping through the material of his T-shirt. "I love you Cherry," he whispered into her hair, rocking gently with her.
"Shelly... I'm scared..." she whispered. "I want this, I want children... I want a family."
"Shh baby... don't be scared. I'm not going anywhere," he assured, still rocking her back and forth.
"What if HE finds..."
Sands sighed. When the simple mention of Cerise's father, never being called anything other then HE, entered a conversation, she became that little girl again, looking at him with wide dark green eyes full of tears, and his heart wrenched every time. "Baby, sweet baby. You don't have to worry about him. You know I wont let him touch you."
Her sobs slowed, but she continued to cry, her tiny frame shaking. "I just... want to be with you and have this..." He watched her hand come to rest on her belly and Sands moved one of his hands to rest over hers.
"You've got it, Cherry baby, I'll never leave your side."
She raised her head and looked up at him with those sparklingly emeralds. "I'm sorry, Sheldon..." she breathed.
He gave her a weary smile. "For what? Telling me I'm going to be a father?"
"You always said you didn't want children..." she whispered, and he remembered the earlier conversation. He never wanted children because he never wanted to make the mistakes his parents had made.
Before he replied, he moved their position, lowering her onto her back so that he was leaning over her. His hands rested on her waist and he ran his thumbs over her skin. "This is different, gorgeous."
"How?" She asked softly, desperately.
He leaned down, pushed her shirt up with one hand and kissed her belly, a flutter growing in his own stomach. Oh God, how he suddenly wanted this, how he wanted to see her, every day for the next seven months with a baby growing in her, HIS baby. He looked up at her and she saw this desire reflected in those haunting golden brown eyes. "It's you who's giving it to me, and I want you. I love you, and I love this child, already."
And he did. So there was only one thing left to do. He moved up, looking down at her, only inches apart. "Vous fera m'épouse? Confarrio mei?"
Cerise stared at him. Both French and Latin she knew, but she was shocked none the less... and if possible, even more in love.
"Oui, je veux vous épouser! Aio ego arbitratus confarrio tu!"
Sands grinned lopsidedly, so happy with the reply. He leaned down and kissed her hard and passionately, rolling onto his back, with her in his arms.
"My daughter..." Sands muttered, his brow furrowed. "â€but you never found out the sex... where is she?" He didn't have to be told. There was no other possible explanation for why she'd worded it the way she had, except for the fact that not only had his Cherry survived, but his child had as well.
"She's with your grandmother, Ruth, at this very moment.." Cerise said softly. "She's three now.....she has your eyes..."
A slow, tired smile spread on Sands' lips. "I have a daughter... what's her name?"
"Lily Ann Sands..." Cerise breathed, leaning closer. Sands turned his face towards her, feeling her breath on his cheek.
"I wanna see her... I wanna meet her," he said strongly.
"Rest first, Shelly," she whispered.
"And if I wake up and this - you - has all been a dream?"
"Then know I still love you... even in dreams."
"My Cherry...." he sighed, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Stay with me, please... if only for tonight." he pleaded.
"Ego nutus in omne tempus," she whispered. Sands smiled a bit more and muttered in reply, "Ego amo tu mei deliciae," Before sleep caught hold of him again.
Translations
French- vous fera m'épouse?- Will you Marry me?
Latin-confarrio mei? - Marry me?
French- Oui, je veux vous épouser- Yes, I will Marry you
Latin- aio ego arbitratus confarrio tu -Yes I will Marry you
Latin- Ego nutus in omne tempus- I will forever
Latin- Ego amo tu mei deliciae- I love you, my darling