Authors Note: Thanks to the wondeful, wonderful reviews.
Thanks to Scarlett for beta reading this for me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sheldon Jeffrey Sands or any othe characters from Once Upon A Time In Mexico, they belong to their respected creators. I just let them come and play, often. ;)
Cerise watched him for a long time. She wiped off her cheeks as a soft smile graced her lips. He still loved her... but then again, it could be the pain medication talking.
She frowned, looking at the bandages. There was still crimson seeping through them at his temple, and that had her worried. She got up from the bed and went out into the hall, catching Kate, the older nurse who Sands had actually taken a liking to. Kate was an older woman, in her mid fifties, who did her job very well. She cared for everyone and Cerise couldn't help but like her.
"Kate, can you get me some bandages?" Cerise said softly.
"Everything alright?" Kate asked.
"He had a nightmare...and well, there's some blood."
Kate grimaced before grabbing a few rolls of fresh bandages. "I'll come in there with you."
Cerise nodded.
Back in Sands' room, Kate unwrapped the bandages from around Sands' head as he slept. Cerise swallowed... this would be the first time she'd see the damage that had been done. Kate had before, she'd changed his bandages numerous times the first week he arrived.
"You wanna leave the room, honey?" Kate asked her.
Cerise shook her head. "I have to see it for myself." she muttered, half to herself.
Kate nodded and then continued unwrapping the final layer.
Cerise gasped as the last of the bandages fell away, and she was met by two gaping black holes. A trickle of blood ran from the depths of his left socket. Cerise could feel her body trembling and tears began rolling silently down her cheeks. She clenched her fists tightly.
Her Shelly, her poor Shelly. They'd done this to him, taken his eyes. Never, would he see her face again. He'd NEVER see their daughter's face. The thoughts made Cerise cry even harder.
Kate quickly re-bandaged his eyes and moved over to Cerise. "It's all right, sweetheart...at least you're with him now, and he knows." Kate said softly, giving Cerise a hug.
Cerise nodded. At least he knew, and Cerise didn't regret breaking the Company's orders.
Around one o'clock, Sands came to again. He lay for a long moment not moving, just listening. He heard soft breathing coming from very close to his bed, and let out his own breath slowly. It hadn't been a dream. Hadn't been his wretched mind playing more tricks on him. At least, he hoped, that when he spoke, it would be Cerise answering him, and not Sarah. Sands took a deep breath and started to sit up, speaking, "Mon Amour?"
Cerise had fallen into a catnap with her book, when she heard Sands speaking quietly. She opened her eyes, stretching, to find him sitting up. "I'm here, Sheldon." She watched as he grabbed the bed control and lifted the back, so he could lean back.
He sighed in relief. "So it wasn't a dream..."
Cerise put her book down and stood up, moving to the side of the bed where the railing was down. "Did you want it to be?" she asked timidly. She caught the ghost of his cocky grin before he answered.
"Never. Now I just have to figure out why the Company didn't want me to know you were alive..."
She took his hand. "Is now the right time to be thinking about that?" she asked.
"As good a time as any. Why didn't you find a way to tell me before!?" he demanded, trying to be as gentle as possible.
"Sheldon, I wanted you to know. God knows I did! But... Monterio is still alive... and I was afraid he'd find out if I contacted you and that put me, you and Lily in danger."
She was right, he realized, on both counts. Monterio was still alive. He'd evaded Sands every attempt at revenge. Someone was protecting him, and if Monterio or someone in the Company discovered Cerise had broken an order like that, it threatened her life and their daughter's life. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. "I'll figure it out... then I'll put a bullet in their brain." he said strongly. It was a promise, not a threat.
"You accept all this then?"
He nodded yes. "But I don't trust anyone, especially after this." he gestured to his face.
"Do you trust me?" Cerise asked softly.
"I always have, baby," Sands replied.
"Listen Sheldon, it gets worse..." Cerise said.
"Yeah, how?"
"Matinzie is dead... and Sarah has informed me that they think you went rogue on them... that you were working as a double agent." Sands snorted.
"I wasn't going rogue. Fifteen years of service to these fuckers and they think I was going rogue?!"
"That's why Matinzie was coming back to the States. He was going to testify on your behalf... but he was killed by a car bomb on the way to the airport."
"So SOMEONE wants me out of the picture..." Sands muttered. "Where's Sarah?"
"I sent her on an errand," Cerise said, not sure if she should tell Sands just what kind of errand at the moment.
"Ruth is bringing Lily in an hour..." Cerise said delicately, breaking the silence that followed.
"Yeah? I suppose I can manage to see my grandmother."
Cerise smiled slightly. "She's done a lot for me and Lily..."
Sands nodded. As long as his grandmother didn't ask him about the bitch of a mother he had, he'd tolerate it. "Does Lily know I'm her father?" Sands asked finally.
"Yes..." Cerise answered. "Sarah has a few photographs of you, and well... Lily found them when she was almost two... and Sarah made it a point to always show them to her, and tell her that that's her daddy. Lily's gotten to the point now where she cries out daddy when she sees one."
"I have a daughter..." Sands ruefully shook his head. "I just can't believe it..."
Cerise smiled slightly. "Believe it."
Cerise caught up with Ruth in the lobby.
"I'm sorry, I'd like to stay longer and see how Sheldon is doing, but I've got so much to do right now," Ruth said, handing Cerise the bag.
"Mummy!" Lily bounced on her feet for her mother to pick her up.
"It's all right. Sheldon's got a lot on his mind right now too," Cerise told Ruth. The old woman frowned, but said no more. Cerise picked up her daughter. "Thank you, though, for taking Lily."
"No probably darling. I've got to go now, take care of yourself.' Ruth leaned forward and kissed Lily on the cheek. "Bye-bye, Lily bug."
Lily opened and closed her little hand, waving goodbye. Cerise watched Ruth go, before turning to the elevator.
In the elevator, Cerise was silently glad it was just her and Lily. "Listen darling, we're going to go up and see your daddy now..." Cerise told the little girl, looking at her. "My daddy?"
"Yes, Lily bug." Lily wrapped her arms Cerise's neck and clung to her. Cerise swallowed. The elevator doors opened to the floor Sands was on. She took a deep breath. Even though he already knew he had a daughter, she was still nervous about how he'd take to her, and desperately hoping he was going to be a good father. She entered the room. Sands was sitting on the edge of the bed, head hanging down.
"Everything alright?" he asked at her footsteps.
"Ruth couldn't stay," Cerise said, walking to him. Sands felt pressure on the bed as Cerise put Lily on it. "Sheldon..."
Sands turned towards her voice. Cerise swallowed hard, unsure how to go about this, but Lily took it from there.
Lily stood up and walked the short distance across the bed to Sands. "Daddy!"
Sands heard the small voice and his heart unexpectedly began to race. He felt little hands touch his face and reached up, wrapping a hand around a tiny waist, holding her steady as his little girl wobbled on the bed. "Hi baby," he said, with an uncertain smile.
Lily fell against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Sands, who had spent most of his life relying on only himself and having locked himself away from such emotions, finally gave. For the first time he chose to remember, this was what he wanted. A woman he was willing to marry, a woman he was willing to die for, and a child he could be a father to. Sands pulled Lily off the bed and onto his lap.
Cerise fought back the tears of happiness she was feeling. She sat down on the bed next to the united pair, smoothing back Lily's hair. Sands wrapped his other arm around her, drawing her closer.
"I've got to run down stairs and make a call, Sheldon. I'm going to leave Lily here," Cerise said, standing.
Sands was silent a moment, then spoke, his cheek resting on Lily's head. "Are you going to tell me what you're up to, Cerise?"
Cerise sighed. "When I get back. Then I'll explain what I know so far."
"You'd better." He listened to her footsteps disappear from the room. He sat Lily on the end of the bed. She pulled up her toy bag and began taking toys out to show her daddy.
Sands couldn't help but smile when she thrust a toy in his hand, telling him what it was. He realized right then that his daughter was rather smart for her age, accepting that he couldn't see, explaining each toy to the fullest detail that a three year old's vocabulary could manage. He grinned slightly, despite himself.
Kate came in and informed Sands that he was to be released in the morning. "Good, glad to get out of this shit hole," Sands replied. "No offense to you sugarbutt." He grinned at Kate.
Kate shook her head. "You've been the bane of this floor, Officer Sands, but we'll be sad to see you go."
"I bet you will."
He just grinned. Kate laughed softly and looked at Lily who was sitting on the edge of the bed playing with a cloth doll. "Is this your little one?"
Sands head raised, a slow smiling playing on his lips. He reached out and touched Lily's hair. "Yeah, ain't she cute?"
"She's adorable. Looks just like you."
"Here's hoping she's behaves better then me." Kate chuckled as she left.
When she was gone, Sands sighed, sitting back against the bed. The news had only brought one thing to mind. Now what was he going to do? Sure, he wanted out of this place, it was slowly driving him crazy. But when he left here, what was he going to do?
Snap out of it, you're still an Officer for the CIA!
This was true. They still hadn't debriefed him as of yet, so until that happened, he wasn't out of the Agency. Plus, now he had to get to know his daughter. As if she was answering his thoughts, he felt her weight shift from the end of the bed, moving towards him. A moment later, he felt a little head on his chest and sighed, wrapping his arm around her. She said nothing, but was content to lay against him, holding the rag doll.
Cerise hung up the phone. She'd just talked to Sarah. Sarah had told her in a cryptic way that pages were missing from Sands' records, as well as both Sarah and Cerise's records. So the question was, why? They weren't authorized to get a hold of those records and see for themselves, but that would be the only way to figure out what pages where missing. Hopefully, Cerise could piece it together from the pictures Sarah had taken. She sighed and turned for the elevators.
She entered the room to find Lily laying against Sands, nearly asleep Sands just sat there with his arm around her. "You know she's almost asleep." Cerise said.
"I kinda figured that," Sands replied dryly.
Cerise flopped down in the chair by the bed and yawned. "She's not the only one who's tired," Cerise muttered.
"Well, the bed's not big enough for all three of us," Sands drawled. Cerise shook her head.
When silence fell, Sands quickly broke it. "They're releasing me in the morning."
Cerise raised her head. "Are they sure that's a good idea?"
Sands turned his head in her direction and frowned. "Why not?"
"I don't know, Shelly, do you think it's a wise idea to release you on the public?"
He stuck his tongue out at her and got a soft laugh in reply. "I think she's asleep," Sands said with a slight grin, turning his head towards Lily. All he heard was soft breathing.
Cerise half stood and looked at her daughter and sighed. "Yep, she's asleep." Cerise confirmed, standing fully. "I should put her in the chair."
Sands stopped her at the side of the bed. "Don't... she's alright." Sands said.
Cerise stopped and looked down at him. Sands turned to face her, though he couldn't see the soft smile on her face. "Alright...but when she starts kicking, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Oh, like you didn't do worse in bed," Sands replied. "With all the tossing, turning and moaning."
"Ouch, Sheldon," Cerise replied hotly and immediately Sands knew he'd crossed the line.
He hadn't meant it that way to begin with. When she didn't say anything again, he sighed and spoke gently. "I'm sorry Cherry, I didn't mean it like that."
She sighed. "Just....just get some sleep, Sheldon." She'd curled up in the farthest corner of the chair, looking out the window into the night.
Sands sighed, he knew he wasn't going to get any more out of her. He settled back against the bed and contently listened to the breathing of both his daughter and the woman he loved.