Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha, the Wizard of Oz or the fez hat wearing monkey.
Crystal: Due to the fact that we are lazy, we have injected a monkey-
Phoenix: (Glares) He's a fez hat wearing ape! We borrowed him from the Wicked Witch of the West!
Crystal: She's a friend of Phoenix…Not a surprise!
Phoenix: His name is George and she WAS friend until that damn do-gooder Dorothy hosed her! DAMN THE GOODY TWO SHOES IN THE WORLD!
Crystal: Ummm... Isn't Canada a goody two shoe?
Phoenix: But that was stated by Homer. Everyone knows he's dumb. And for all we know Canada is developing artificially intelligent robots armed with nuclear weapons, making them plan to take over the world.
Crystal: You're planning that aren't you?
Phoenix: Everyone wants to take over the world. I'm the first person who knows how to.
Crystal: That is surprisingly true, (muttering) considering the fact that the teachers are ' mysteriously' disappearing.
Kaede Krap (Not spelled right but….EH!)
A monkey appeared. "Oooh Ahh, Oooh Ahh, Oooh Ahh!" (Trans: Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars)
"A monkey? Should I be insulted?" Kaede blinked.
(Loud noise from backstage, "He's an Ape!" You can guess who it was.)
"Oook…..Ak Ik Kaak!" (Trans: Kaede…..she is a super model)
Kaede giggled. "Oh well, I did dabble in the field but-''
"You're supposed to insult her," Crystal whipped the monkey. "Get back to work or you'll be in the land mine before you can say banana…which you can't in the first place so……yeah."
"AKKK!" (Trans: I know my rights! I don't even get paid!)
Phoenix pondered for a moment. "What would you do with the money? Buy bananas?"
"Akk, Mikk, Dak, Jok!" (Trans: I would buy you a house!)
Phoenix teared up. "Aww, Really? Crystal lets not kill him, let's keep him!"
"No! Get back to work!" Crystal whipped him again.
The monkey muttered. "Ak drak eeekkk." (Trans: Jackass! I should start a union!)
Kaede raised her hand. "Can we get back to me?"
"Oook…………ok nak looj smook foow!" (Trans: Kaede………….she smells like feet)
"When you hang around Inuyasha, it happens!" Kaede nodded.
(Noise from backstage, "I do NOT smell like feet!")
Crystal sighed. "This getting old! You, monkey! Go back to the land mines with your little monkey friends!"
The monkey growled. "What the hell! What makes you think you can fire me!" He lunged at Crystal.
Phoenix gasped. "He spoke! Wow, I gotta think about this a while! She pondered as Crystal got mauled by a crazed monkey.
"Help-"
The monkey swiped her. "Akkk! Shut up!"
Meanwhile Phoenix was still pondering, "Hmm." She noticed that suddenly the noises stop. "Crystal?"
Crystal was sitting on top of monkey who was tied and gagged. "Yes?" She wiped away blood from one of her many scratches.
"When did that happen?" Phoenix sweat dropped.
The monkey grumbled. "Crazy-ass bitch."
"Bad monkey! What a dirty mouth you have! What shall I do with you?" Crystal said with an evil gleam in her eyes.
"Give him to me!" Phoenix said smiling evilly. "I have BIG plans!"
"No! I beg of you, if you have a good bone in your body, don't give me to her!" The monkey begged.
Crystal thought for a second. "Good bone? Phoenix, do I have a good bone?"
"Nope!"
Crystal smiled. "I thought so. Here!" And she gave the crying monkey to Phoenix.
"Yayy! Now I have someone to test my experiments on since my last guinea pig "disappeared."" Phoenix cheered.
"Wasn't he the one after he threatened to go to the police?"
"No, It's the one who wandered into my room and never came out."
"Oh."
The monkey was now sobbing hard. "Wahhhh, don't do this to me!"
"Don't worry; you'll be in my safest experiment!"
Crystal interrupted. "Didn't you get rid of that after no one died from it?"
"Oh yeah! All I have left is the "Killer" the "Super Mega Killer" and the "Supreme Killer.""
The monkey fainted.
"What are you girls, Demons?" Kaede asked.
Crystal was silent for a moment. "I don't know, maybe a form of alligator?"
Phoenix shook her head. "I always thought rat."
"Eh, whatever, my 'rents are human. But I think I was dropped on there door step by some thing who knew what I would become!"
"Yup!"
Cooking Show
Crystal: Today we will be making-
(Black out to a police station)
Police officer #1: Look, our little menace alarms have been activated!
Police officer #2: Yeah, it's Phoenix and Crystal and…………they're TOGHETHER!
Police officer#3: Oh God!
Police officer #1: Let's go! S.W.A.T teams! (Calls all officers) All officers, we need assistance it's……THEM!
Officers: OH NO! Get the chief!
Michael Jackson: Someone call me?
Police officer: Cr- Crystal and Ph- Phoenix are….together.
Michael: No! (Drops nose from shock) My nose! Get down men and find my nose!
Police officers: But what about th- th- them!
Michael: Just find my nose first!
(Let's just say it didn't end well)
Crystal: all together now!
Everyone in the fic: MMMMM I LOVE TURTLES!
Reviewer Responses
(Theme song)
Review time! Review time!
Telling us what you want!
And we might answer!
Not likely but whatever!
It's not like anybody caaaaaaares!
Kagome's Girl:
Phoenix: AHH! A restraining order!
Crystal: Finally!
Bloom Flower:
Crystal: You're welcome! (Whispers) The law requires us to answer everybody….but thank you anyway!
Aria Michelle:
Crystal: (Le gasp)
Phoenix: (Faints)
Crystal: ………..I'm in shock…….
Phoenix: And I fainted!
(PS: The answer is no)