Chapter One
His lips were hot and invading against his skin, burning like the concentrated flame of a candle. But Will didn't move. He dared not anger the man whose lips pressed harder against his, invading his mouth. The last time he tried to rebel, Angelus had given him good reason to stay put. His cheek still burned from the sharp blow of the older man's fist and he was sure a bruise was blooming near his jaw.
"Beautiful." Angelus mumbled between kisses, lifting his mouth only to whisper senseless words that did nothing for William. As Angelus continued his invasion, William stayed as still as he possibly could. He felt Angelus' fingers roam lower down his chest and between his legs. William stiffened slightly and felt the fingers tighten around him. With a groan he closed his eyes.
Angelus would never know how much he wanted to strike out and protect himself from his actions, but that was a value Will had long learned to forget. Finding protection from Angelus was like finding protection in the sunlight. Impossible.
Spike groaned and rolled over, his eyes trying hard to blink away the images that had invaded his head during sleep. IAnother ruddy dream about him…/I Spike thought, pressing the heel of his hand to his eye and rubbing the sleep away.
For a few days now, he'd been having flashbacks to the time when Angelus and William weren't just Sire and Childe. Spike shuddered and shook his head, hoping the images would fade like normal dreams did. He tried hard not to think about those days anymore, but lately it was becoming more difficult.
Why? Because you let Angel kiss you? Wanker probably got off on it like always. Spike told himself as he stood up and pulled a shirt over his head, inwardly sighing with relief when he felt the fabric brush over his fingertips with perfect clarity.
That kiss had been more than a week ago, but he could still feel it as if it had just happened. Come off it. You're fixated. It didn't mean anything./I He tried to convince himself. It wasn't working. He knew what he had felt. That's why he pushed Angel away. Why he told him 'no' that night…
He felt his Sire's lips brush his own and he briefly wondered if he had fallen unconscious and was now dreaming. But when he felt the gentle touch of Angel's thumb running down his cheek, he leaned into the reality of the touch. Since when was Angelus ever gentle?
No, not Angelus. Angel…
God, he hadn't felt that in years. No one had touched him like that for so long. Not even Buffy.
His hands began to roam lower. His fingers curled around the waistband of Spike's jeans.
Suddenly, something sparked inwardly that made him pull away from Angel, watching as Angel's hands fell into his lap, helplessly. Spike shook his head quickly. The scene was too familiar…
"No. Not like this." He sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breathe. He knew Angel didn't understand, but that didn't matter. Spike wasn't going to let him take advantage of him like he used to. He knew why Angel was doing what he was doing, he wasn't stupid. But, centuries of abstinence had gone by and one night of weakness wasn't going to happen. He had spent too long building the wall against his Sire. Tears weren't going to tear it down. Not this time.
"Not like before." Spike said, struggling to his feet and walking toward the door. Angel let him go.