Chapter Four

Spike and Angel were lying on Angel's cold mansion floor. They were about a foot away from each other and their arms and legs were stretched out. After their 'slug-fest' they were bloodied up and exhausted.

"Brings back old memories ay Angel?"

Angel let out a small laugh. "Not exactly the best of times."

"Yea they were," Spike defended. "Not now that we look back, having thrown in the towel on evil and all."

"Back then we were easily pleased. All we had to do was rip out a couple virgin's throats and it was a good day."

"Good ol' days ay mate?"

"No, I left that behind."

"Yea, because of your curse. You wouldn't even love Buffy if that soul wasn't shoved down your Scottish throat."

"Irish!" Angel yelled. "And no, I didn't want my soul but I do love Buffy in the way you'll never experience."

"You don't know that!" Spike said, finding enough energy to roll onto his stomach and look Angel in the eye. "I went through bloody hell trying to get my soul. Then the feeling of it being shoved in my chest felt like my eyes were burnin' in their sockets and my organs were turned into liquid."

"Oh, you went through a minute of pain? Poor Spikey. I had to go through years of guilt for all that I did. I was tortured by the past and the people that I killed."

"I didn't make you kill those people."

"No but all you had to do was go through a couple trials for a night where as I had to live with tormented souls of my victims for half a century."

"Well someone give the baby his bloody bottle," Spike commented, returning to his back.

"I didn't ask to be a vampire."

"No you just went for a midnight shag down a dark alley 'cause some skirt gestured to ya."

"Yea and your story's better? You were pouting about your stupid poetry, in a dark alley I might add, and then you took comfort in a 'skirt'," Angel quoted. "And I was good way before you were."

"Not by choice."

"Keep bringing it up Spike. That's the only argument you have against me."

"Oh yea? I'm not the one who dumped my 'true love' before one of the biggest nights of her high school life. I'm not the one who left my 'true love' after a near Apocalypse. I may have been evil but I wasn't heartless. And you did this after you had a bloody soul."

Angel stood up from the floor, wanting the higher ground. "Things between us are complicated. You know why? Because we have history."

Spike rose to an upright position and stood an inch from Angel's face. "And who ever liked that subject?"

"You don't deserve her Spike. She's too good for you."

"And you're good enough for her?"

"No," Angel confessed. "Just better than you."

"That records all ready been played mate."

Angel turned like he was going to leave but landed a surprise left hook on Spike's right cheek.

Spike felt a newly opened cut on his lip and he let out a chuckle. "Ya know," he started his stagger over to Angel, "I understand why you're so angry. I got to have more than one moment of happiness with her." Spike revealed a smirk. He tried to punch Angel but he blocked, leaving his side open for Spike to land a sharp kick.

Giles was sitting at the desk with his head on his left hand and his glasses in his right. Xander was holding a book and leaning on the arm of the couch with Anya passed out and drooling on his shoulder. Willow, on the floor, and Tara, on the couch, were taking turns scrolling on her laptop and Buffy was in the kitchen pretending to make lunch. She didn't know what she would do in ten minutes when everyone started asking where their food was and all she had was an empty plate with some crumbs from her roast beef sandwich.

Buffy was stirring her bright pink straw in her milk. She was watching the ripples the pink plastic caused to the liquid's surface and got lost in her thoughts. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

Xander was poking at Anya's head with his book, trying to push her off of his shoulder. Willow looked at him like he had five heads. "Xander," she whispered. This caused Tara to turn and see what was going on. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to move her. She's drooling on my fake suede jacket," he whispered back.

"Why are you poking at her?"

"I'm not poking, I'm moving with small jabs from this book. If I try and move her then she'll wake up and yell at me for waking her. This way I can blame the book."

"You can't blame a book," Willow argued.

"Hi, I'm Xander, have we met?" he sarcastically asked. Willow rolled her eyes and went back to her computer.

"Sweetie, I think we need to look under something else," Tara suggested, resting her hand on Willow's back.

"What else is there? We've looked through online papers all over the country, we looked up 'three nerds', 'three guys' and 'three nerdy guys.' I think I'm tapped. We've been looking for them for over twelve hours. Not to mention our locator spells have left us with three geeks who were reenacting the final battle of Star Wars and a group of teenagers fornicating in the back of a van."

"I still don't understand how that was misinterpreted," Xander said, giving a final nudge to Anya who fell over and on to Tara's lap. Anya's hand rubbed at her face and then fell to the side.

Willow saw the extreme discomfort Tara clearly displayed. Willow was just about to perform a spell to move her when Xander yelled "Bunny!"

"Where?" Anya screamed, leaping onto the couch. Willow and Tara looked in shock at the lightning speed in which Anya just moved. Maybe she had ex-demon reflexes or something.

"Oh, my mistake. It was just a ball of paper."

Anya exhaled deeply and put her hand over her heart. "I can't believe you just did that? I could've had a heart attack. I hear they aren't pleasant."

"Because the word 'attack' is usually used in a warm and fuzzy kind of way," Xander commented.

Anya swatted at him with her right hand, making him flinch. "That was not funny Alexander Harris!"

Giles rose from his chair and gently walked into the kitchen, reapplying his glasses on the way. "Buffy?" he said, shocked by her lack of emotion and, seemingly, thought.

Her head jerked up as she said, "Huh?" Buffy dropped the straw in the glass and stood up. "Oh, I, uh, lunch. I was making lunch and then-"

"Buffy," Giles said in a soft tone. He knew she was exhausted mentally from the sudden appearance of Angel, however he didn't understand why she was fussing so much about Spike. He played the father and comforted her. "Are you all right?"

Buffy inhaled deeply and ran her left hand through her hair. It fluttered down to her shoulders, which were currently holding up the world. "Not really."

Giles nodded. He knew she wasn't fine, even if she would've said she was. He was always pleased when she felt she could be truthful with him. "I know. You and Angel do not have the simplest of histories."

"Neither do me and Spike."

"Why are you so worried about him?"

"What?" Buffy asked. She just revealed a little too much there.

"Spike. You seem to be fretting over both of them. Spike saying he loves you never made you so unnerved before." Giles was showing his keen sense of observation.

Guess that's why they call them Watchers. Well, I guess I can tell him. No! What are you thinking? You can't tell him! Just lie to him like you have been. It's not hard. "I've slept with Spike." Okay so you just told him you complete retard.

Giles's face became contorted somewhere between shock and fear. Buffy bit her bottom lip.

What the hell did you do? You broke Giles!

Suddenly Giles started to break out in laughter. He cupped his hand over his mouth so not to alarm the others, but he couldn't hold back the giggles.

Oh my God I really did break him!

Giles took a deep breath to compose himself but when he looked at her he started to cackle again. "Spike?"

Buffy grabbed the piece of jacket that covered Giles's right shoulder and pushed him outside. "I haven't told anyone else yet," she yelled in a whisper.

"Can't understand why. We need a good laugh."

"Giles!"

Giles looked into her eyes and saw that she wasn't kidding. "My God you're serious."

"I wouldn't lie about a thing like that." Buffy plopped down on one of the steps and rested her head on her palms.

Giles sat beside her, too perplexed to form words. "When did this happen?" Okay, so he could form words but he had trouble wrapping his mind around this new information.

"The night before Willow crashed the car and broke Dawn's arm. And then a couple times after that." Buffy felt embarrassed. At least they liked Angel but everyone hated Spike. They wouldn't understand that he was the only one that seemed to comprehend how she felt when she was brought back. They made a connection that she felt she lost with her friends. "Since I was brought back… Spike was the only one who seemed to understand."

"That's because he's a vampire Buffy. He's gone through the resurrection process. We can't possibly comprehend how that feels."

"I know. And that's why I was so torn apart from all of you when I was back. I didn't feel like myself and Spike made me feel comfortable. He knew when I wanted to talk about it and when I didn't and he never pushed me for answers. He just sat there and listened."

"We were here for you Buffy," Giles said, placing his hand on her knee.

She put her hand over his. "Not in the way that I needed." Buffy stood up and pulled her hair back. "I better go make lunch." She went inside and quietly shut the door.

Giles remained on the back step, left in wonder.