Author: SilverSnitch69

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Neither do I, nor my partner in crime/beta, own Harry Potter or any related characters. We just use them in our twisted little stories for our, and soon to be your, sick pleasure.

Warning: This is slash, so I hope you know what that means, if not, then I don't know what to tell you. Post-Hogwarts, and the relationship has been established. Implied m-preg, though we don't go into the details.

"Have you seen my shirt?"

"Draco, baby, have you seen my other black sock?"

"It's in the third drawer on the left."

"Are you sure? I've checked and it's not there."

"What do you mean it's not there? Check again."

"Draco, I've checked twice and I'm telling you, it's not there."

"Well, you know what they say, third's the charm."

Sigh. "Are you sure you don't know where it is? I really like those socks."

"Bloody hell, Potter! I told you it's in the third drawer. I put them in there myself."

"Well they aren't there."

"Move over! God, it's like you can't do anything on your own."

"I can do things on my own, thank you very much."

"Oh, but finding a simple sock is way too much for you, isn't it?"

"No it's not! I just can't find the fucking..." "Daddy! Chris is being mean again!'

"What is he doing to you now?"

"I wasn't doing anything!"

"Liar!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM BLOODY WELL NOT!"

"Christian! Brian! Be quiet! Or I swear to Merlin I will do it myself. Do I make myself clear!"

Nods

"I said do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Papa." "Yes, Father."

"Good. Now what did your father tell you about cursing?"

"Sorry, Daddy."

"Don't worry, Chris but please don't do it again. Now, what were you doing to Brian?"

"I wasn't doing anything to him."

"Liar!"

"Am not!"

"Are..." "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Brian."

Sigh

"Chris...?"

"I wasn't..."

Glare. Sigh. Mumble

"What was that, Chris?"

"I called him a lazy sod."

"Why did you call your brother that?"

"Because he's mean."

"Brian, let your brother answer for himself. Potter, here is your goddamn sock. It was exactly where I told you it was."

"Thanks. Now, Chris..."

"Because! He wouldn't help me take our trunks down to the foyer."

"Didn't it occur to you that maybe the trunks were too heavy for him to carry...?"

"Sorry, Dad."

"Tell your brother that."

Sigh. "Ok. Sorry, Brian"

"Meanie."

"Have you two finished packing?"

"Yeah,"

"Yup"

"No, you haven't."

"Yes, I have."

"Dad, he hasn't. I saw him."

"Brian, what did you pack in your trunk?"

"What you told me to, Papa."

"Well let's take a look then."

"Told you he didn't pack."

Sigh "Sweetheart, I told you to pack all that was necessary for our trip. Mr. Bear, Mr. Snuffles, Mr. Sticky Toes and all your other toys are not what I meant by 'necessary'."

"But they are nesicherry, Papa. I can't sleep without Mr. Bear and Mr. Bear can't go anywhere without Mr. Snuffles and Mr. Snuffles is married with Mr. Sticky Toes and Mr. Sticky Toes needs..."

"Potter, what have I told you about letting my children watch your horrible soap operas?"

"It was just once and they are not horrible. You just don't get the jist of it."

"There is no 'jist' to understand, Potter. They have no plot, no sense of humor, their lines are atrocious, and the story line is always the same!"

Giggle "Cindy is having a ant fair with Bobby."

"It's an 'affair' Brian."

"That's what I said, Papa. A ant-fair."

"And it's not Bobby she is having the affair with but that Steve guy. I always knew it..."

"Gods, Potter! Are you listening to yourself?"

"...but now that I think about it, I think that the pool guy was the one that got Jennifer pregnant."

Sigh

Giggle. Giggle

"No more talking of pool guys or Jennifer getting knocked up. All of you!... Potter, take our trunks down to the foyer while I help Brian here to pack."

"What do I look like, a house elf?"

"Close enough."

Sigh

"Now, Brian, you can't take all these toys with you. You need clothes to wear and I don't think Mr. Sticky Toes will let you borrow his ugly out-fit while we're at the States."

"But, Papa…"

"Don't you, but Papa me. Now, lets see what we have here."

"I don't like that color."

"What do you mean you don't like this color? It's black. You like black."

"No I don't. I like green."

"Even better."

"No, too itchy."

"But you use to say it was nice and warm?"

"But, Nanny made me another one last Christmas. That one is old."

"Ok… how about this?"

"No! Grandma Cissa told me only for special o-ca-sssssi-uns."

"Occasions, sweetheart. Fine, we'll put this in the 'going to dinner' pile."

"Father! Where is my Superman shirt! You know, the one that Uncle Weasel…"

"Chris! Don't call your Uncle that!"

"Sorry… Uncle Ron gave me for my birthday because Aunt Hermoine wouldn't let him buy me those Switch candies Uncle George and Fred made that I was hoping of using on Brian so I could have a little sister instead of an annoying little brother, that shirt? Have you seen it?"

"…"

"…"

"See! I told you Chris was a meanie! Papa! He wanted to turn me into a girl!"

"Only because you are an annoying little bugger!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"At least I don't wet my knickers like you do!"

"Because you still wear diapers, you big baby!"

"You're the baby! You cried when they pulled your teeth out!"

"Because it hurt! And you cry because you think there is a boggart under your bed!"

"There is! Uncle Remus said so. Right Daddy?"

"Well you're just stupid if you believe him."

"I'm not stupid! You are!"

"Argh! Will you all be quiet!"

"Daddy… he called me stupid."

"Because you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT BEFORE IT FILTERS INTO YOUR LITTLE SKULLS! QUIET! CHRISTIAN, APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BROTHER. NOW! YOUNG MAN! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THE BOTH OF YOU SCREAMING AND BEING ALL AROUND ANNOYING!"

"Draco, really must you…"

"Potter! That means you as well! I have a bloody headache because of all of your nagging! Now, Christian, I will not repeat myself. Apologize."

Sniff "Sorry, Brian… you're… not stupid." Sniff

"See, what you did, Draco? You made Chris cry."

"Well, maybe this way he'll learn not to tick me off and do as I say the first time I say it."

"But they're just boys. That's what they do."

"Well, they should have a label when they're born. 'Warning: Highly destructive and loud. May cause pre-mature aging, migraines, insomnia, ulcers, and death. Raise with caution.' Or something like that."

"Draco, you can't die by raising your children."

"Sorry, Potter, let me fix that, 'may cause suicidal tendencies'"

"Draco…"

"What?"

Sigh. "Nothing, why bother."

"Right."

"Father, have you seen my shirt?"

Sigh

A/N...or at least Beta's note, lol. This is Stupy posting for Kitty! So how u guys like this story so far. I personally think it's hilarious. Ain't my girl a genius? I think so, lol. Okay, so PLEASE READ & REVIEW! We greatly appreciate it. Kitty is going to be writing the next chapter soon. Though she is also writing something else (she won't tell me what that sneaky devil)! Thanks for reading!