Authors Note:

Unfortunately, I am aware that some chapters are missing. In the time when my computer crashed and then crashed again, I didn't have any chance to save the missing chapters. but, a brief synopsis is as follows - Hephaistion tried to leave Alexander thinking he was doing more harm then good, until he came across an old lover of Philips' and spoke to him about love and relationships. he then went back to the army and was taken back to a disgruntled Alexander.

Now to continue;

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Alexander's blury vision wasn't improved as he awoke in the tent. He glanced around and gingerly got to his feet, not quite balancing as well as he used too.

His eyes wandered over the things inside of his tent, the red of his curtain drapes, the browns and blacks of his bear skin carpets. He then turned slightly to see

someone unexpected, someone who always appeared whenever Alexander was in dire need.

"My King" Hephaistion said softly, fully aware that Alexander would tell him to go away or not to speak to him. Alexander didn't say anything for a moment, perhaps it was since his throat was parched he grabbed the glass of water Ptolemy had left by his bed and swallowed it, it spilled messily over him until he was looking through the bottom of it.

"I'm sorry Alexander" Hephaistion said as Alexander dropped his glass, and crossed his arms.

"Sorry? you needn't be" Alexander told him, Hephaistion's eyes widened a little as Alexander spoke. Was he serious?

" I didn't want to move you, I was afraid that I might hurt you..." Hephaistion began explaining himself, Alexander shook his head.

"Its nothing" he told him kindly, and for the first time since their journey began, Hephaistion thought he saw remnants of the old Alexander before him.

"We haven't spoken in such a long while... I was beginning to think that you never wanted to speak to me again" Hephaistion said lowly, stepping inside the tent. He watched Alexander move slightly backwards, looking a little frightened by Hephaistion coming into the place where he had spent so many nights alone without him, without Roxane.

"Roxane... apologises for not pleasing you" Hephaistion said on her behalf, knowing to well that Roxane did feel awful for letting Alexander down in such troubled circumstances.

"Roxane... Roxane" Alexander said her name as if he didn't recall it, and then he suddenly awoke to the memory of so many nights ago. He squared his eyes so they were focused on Hephaistion and in an instant, Hephaistion knew Alexander was remembering what had just happened outside.

"We're still trapped" Alexander said softly, bringing his dirty hands to his face, wiping them down his cheeks.

"We're not trapped, Alexander. We have to send the men back" Hephaistion told him calmly, aware that Alexander wasn't going to think the same as him.

"We're trapped" Alexander muttered, " We're trapped, and I your king, am helpless to do anything about it" Alexander shrugged his shoulders, Hephaistion knew this moment would come. Where Alexander blamed himself for all misfortunes, where Alexander lost his faith in all things including, Hephaistion's trust.

"It was a simple mistake, anyone could have made it" Hephaistion implored, but Alexander didn't want to hear it.

"What are you doing here? We had an agreement not to see each other" Alexander said furiously as Hephaistion spirit dropped to the floor amongst the swirling blacks and browns of bear skins, he raised his eyes again to meet Alexander's, and he knew the old Alexander had gone. This new tyrannical dominator was back, and angry.

"It has been a hard journey, the men recognise the need to go through India now if we have any hope of getting back home to Babylon" Hephaistion kept speaking as Alexander dropped his robes before him. Hephaistion paused momentarily to see the once beautiful body of a young healthy man, scarred with dry scabby sores and bruises. Hephaistion knew, like the others that he had fought every battle with them, he had been through it all and didn't waver. The fact was however, as Hephaistion came to realise, the old Alexander had fast disappeared and given in to a King who had lost his bearings. Who had lost th whole meaning of leadership with a swig of a bottle, as Alexander brought another to his lips, Hephaistion could feel the tears coming to eyes.

" I shall leave, my King" he said despairingly, " May you... rest well tonight" he smiled weakly and exited the tent.

Alexander inside was screaming for him to come back. Of course, Hephaistion was never going to hear him say it. Words had disappeared like the contents of his bottles, as Alexander pulled on another coat and dropped to the floor.

"Where is my mercy?" Alexander screamed from the inside out, " Where does my Kingdom lie?"

Those answers of course, would never come. Alexander prepared to face the situation head on, through India they would travel. Through India, he certainly hoped the Gods would spare them.

"Home" he mumbled lowly as he laid down on the ground again, still pouring the disgusting brown liquor into his mouth,

"Home..." he whispered, like a fearful child afraid of what hid under his bed. He would wait for some clarity, before he would take on the men, their anger and concerns for another round of this, it seemed, never ending war of his world.