Chapter 19 Raging

That night Harry did not sleep well. He was pleased with the plan he, Hermione and Neville were working on, but he couldn't get Iphigenia McMillan off his mind. He remembered the way her eyes sparkled; then he remembered their lifeless aspect after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the graceful way she moved; and then he remembered her stumbling shuffle after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the beautiful way she talked of the interconnectedness of life; then he remembered her total mental vacancy after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the breathtaking way she sang about peace at church; then he remembered the aimless whistling and hissing she made after the dementor's kiss. He couldn't get her off his mind, and every time he tried to focus on how gracious she was before today, his mind was directed back to the emptiness of the shell left behind. He drifted off to a fitful sleep.

His dream started the same horrible way as his previous nightmare: images of Voldemort directing hundreds of followers to fan out over first Britain and then the world, like locusts, exterminating all resistance. But this time something new happened. He pictured himself and his friends in their Hogwarts' robes riding basilisks the size of the one he had killed in the Chamber of Secrets, as if they were so many fremen riding sandworms in Dune. They led their basilisks against Voldemort's forces and petrified them all. Harry and his friends laughed and celebrated at the destruction of Voldemort's forces. Looking out across the dead and petrified remains of Voldemort's legions, they all cheered and shook their arms in victory. And yet something wasn't right. Then Harry heard a cock's crow, and all the basilisks died. They all jumped down as the enormous snakes rolled. Each was separated from the others by the snake carcasses between them. The cock crowed again.

"Harry, Harry," he heard. "Aren't you getting up to run?" asked Neville, "Didn't you hear the cock crow? It's a new day."

Harry headed out for the morning run with Ron, Neville, and the rest from his room, all converging with the other trainees. As Harry entered the kitchen, he looked through a window and noticed what seemed to be sheep in the paddock.

"Neville," he said, "I didn't know Longbottom Manor raised sheep."

"Not in decades, Harry, and those are odd-looking sheep. They're normally pretty dingy and scruffy. These are shiny."

They headed out the door and started looking toward the paddock, when Harry was suddenly hit in a full body tackle by someone screaming, "Yeeeeeeeee-Haaaaw!" When Harry got his bearings, he found himself flat on his back in the yard, with Tonks astride him, waving her arms to the sky, a wand in one hand, and screaming jubilantly.

"I did it, Harry, I did it," she screamed, holding his shoulders. Then she bent over him and kissed him all over his face.

Harry lifted her by her shoulders to ask, "Did what? Give me a heart attack?"

"The sheep, Harry, the sheep! My patronus. That's the form of my patronus! I couldn't sleep after what happened last night. And I got to thinking how you said you loved me and I realized that that's the only reason you lost control that way, because you love me enough to do what you did. And I got up early and tried it out here to not bother people, and it worked! I've been making 'em for a half hour now, replacing the ones that melt away."

She bent back down toward him and started kissing all around his face again, in a way that reminded Harry of a large, exuberant puppy.

"Great, Tonks!" he said. "I'll have to make severe abuse part of my training regimen, I guess."

"Only from the heart, Harry!"

She lifted up and stretched her arms to the sky and again started screaming jubilantly, shaking her whole upper body in a way which could not but be noticed and appreciated by all the men assembled for the run, especially as Tonks was only in a half-length t-shirt and shorts. Hermione hit Ron in the arm as he watched. Ginny scowled angrily as she noticed that Harry had noticed.

"Woo-hoo!" Tonks continued, calling out to everyone around. "If any of you girls had your eye on him before, forget it! I'm claiming him! Any guy who can make me feel good enough to make these – EXPECTO PATRONUM – I'm going to keep!" Another sheep emerged from the wand when she made the incantation.

"Do I get a say in that, Tonks?" said Harry with bemusement.

"Nope, Harry, You men take too long to figure out what you want. The girls have to make the decisions. I've laid claim!"

"Whatever," said Harry. "Then I guess after breakfast you'll be ready to take on the lethifold."

Tonks suddenly stopped her celebration and got a terrified look on her face. "That thing! So soon?"

Harry suddenly got his own look of horror on his face and tried to pull himself out from under Tonks, "Eww, Tonks!"

"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry. I hadn't had a chance to go to the bathroom this morning, and when you mentioned facing that monster, I …"

Everyone started laughing at Harry's predicament.

Tonks stood up and started to point her wand at Harry's midsection, saying, "Well, just let me clean you up."

Harry covered himself immediately, "Tonks! I've seen your 'clean-up' jobs. You just point that thing somewhere else."

"Ooh, Harry, I will if you will," said Tonks, looking down and smiling. "So you DO like me."

Harry frowned. "A young woman bouncing around on me that way? - What did you expect?"

Harry turned to Hermione. "Hermione, can you clean this up, please?"

"Hmm, you won't let me give you murtlap treatments, but you'll trust me to clean you up. Oh, all right, then. Scourgify."

Then they all set off for the morning run, with the constant stream of various crude and ribald jokes at Harry's and Tonks's expense distracting them all from the rigors. Harry noticed that Ginny made Luna run with her far on ahead out of earshot of the various jests.

At breakfast, Mrs. Longbottom and Moody insisted that Harry sit with them.

"Potter," growled Moody. "While they are here, the aurors are my responsibility. So what's this I hear from Lupin about you making one of my aurors cry? I don't think I like the idea of weepy aurors."

"I'm really sorry, Professor," said Harry. "I really didn't mean to be so hard on her. I just kind of lost control."

Moody laughed gruffly. "Don't be so serious, Potter. If she can't stand up to a boy …"

"I'm an adult now," Harry protested.

"You might be of age, but you're still a boy, Potter. You're a student and just look at those arms and legs – so scrawny it's pitiful."

"I'm stronger than I look – and more mature!"

"You've had to do your growing up, no doubt," said Moody, with a wink and a smile. "Nonetheless, if Tonks can't stand up to a youngster, she needs some toughening up."

"Not exactly that, Professor," said Harry. "We don't want her to lose the emotional and mental flexibility required for strong magic, particularly as a metamorphmagus."

Mrs. Longbottom and Moody both laughed appreciatively.

"Mr. Potter," Mrs. Longbottom said. "If Hogwarts needs a new teacher, I believe you are prepared to step right in."

"Thank you, Maam," said Harry, "but other than Defense, the only subjects I might be qualified in have professors that are too much of an asset."

"You're getting better at that, Harry," she replied, in a more personal, motherly voice.

"What's that, Maam?" asked Harry.

"Acknowledging others' good qualities without disparaging yourself. Maybe you're finally accepting that you are quite a talented wizard?"

"Sometimes. I can't deny that my coaching seems to pay off or that I pair off pretty well in a duel. But sometimes I still feel about magic like a little kid pressing his face against the candy store window."

"A mix is good, Harry," she said. "Even at my age, I still have that feeling at times."

They went on to discuss applying Harry's time more effectively. With Tonks finally having her corporeal patronus and needing only testing, they decided all would be best served if Harry participated in Moody's morning strategy and tactics classes, continue with counseling sessions with Reverend MacBoon and one hour patronus sessions for the Hogwarts students, which would include testing with the lethifold as needed, and spend the rest of his time in dueling, both on his own training and coaching others.

Then Moody coughed to get Harry's attention. "Potter, I thought I'd better give you a heads-up. The Ministry is considering asking DA members who are of age and qualified with apparition, patronus and dueling skills if they would be interested in volunteering to join the auror auxiliaries."

"I'll join," said Harry.

"Yeah, sure, Potter," said Moody. "You're about the only one they wouldn't take. You're the sentry. You have to keep out of the fighting so you can feed us whatever information you can."

"I'm not comfortable sending my friends into battle like that."

"You wouldn't be sending them – the Ministry would."

"But I trained them," objected Harry.

"You trained them to protect themselves and others, and their talents are needed to do that. Your DA team leaders can match or beat any of the aurors in a duel. They're more than a match for all but the very best of the enemy forces," continued Moody.

"So you want them to do this while they have to prepare for NEWTs?" asked Harry.

"You're worried about their NEWTs, with all you're going to be doing while preparing for NEWTS?"

"Do I have any choice?" answered Harry. "Besides I don't have to prepare for the DADA Newt – I already have it."

"But you'll be spending more time than anyone working on defense skills anyway, won't you? Don't worry about your students and their NEWTS. They're so far ahead of any previous group of NEWT candidates on their practical magical skills that they can coast."

"Thanks to you, Mr. Potter," added Mrs. Longbottom.

"They work hard," said Harry.

"Because you lead the way," said Moody. "Anyway, don't say anything yet. The Minister is resisting asking students to participate, considering who would be first to volunteer."

Harry nodded. "You couldn't keep Ron or Ginny away, once she can apparate. Or Neville for that matter."

Mrs. Longbottom smiled. "Yes, you've made him a fighter, but he would be utterly unqualified, being unable to apparate or conjure a patronus."

"I don't think the maniacal rant would work on him the way it did for Tonks," Harry said with a frown, and then continued, "but maybe there's something I can do to help Neville and the sixth-years along on apparation. It helped so much that I already knew the feeling of it from having been apparated by Dobby last summer. Now that we are cutting back on Patronus sessions, how about if I take an hour or two in the afternoon right after lunch to show them the feeling of apparation. One day a week cover it and keep the feeling fresh in their minds. I'm not qualified to actually teach apparation, since I don't know the remedies, but I have tested out to apparate other people, so they can at least know how it should feel. And they'll only be more effective fighters the quicker they can learn to apparate."

Mrs. Longbottom and Moody both agreed that this would be helpful.

"And Mr. Potter," Mrs. Longbottom added, "I appreciate any extra effort you can put into Neville. You've helped him so much already, and I'd hate for him to spend a second year of apparation class splinching himself."

Harry shrugged. "I promise only my best effort, not miracles."

"For you, that's a very thin line, Mr. Potter," she said with a warm smile.