Interesting input…Rei/Shinji, eh?

Well, a few things…

A year ago, I wouldn't even have thought of Rei/Shinji, I was an ardent Asuka fan, but now I'm tired of all the crappy A/S fics, although I haven't found any really good and accurate Rei/Shinji fics that aren't totally unrealistic and stupid and I highly doubt I could achieve one…

Thinking about writing for Rei for prolonged times (she's usually in the background in my other fanfics, or just mechanically repeating surreal lines about dreams and reality) makes me really scared…ehehe.

Well, how about I decide from the reader input, everyone vote what pairing they want (in addition to a review, of course)…(Warning, there is no guarantee The Evincar will follow the majority vote, in fact, he already probably has this entire fanfiction mapped out in his damn head.)

But in the end, it's always cool to keep it up in the air, or at least have him have reasonable feelings for both Rei, Asuka, and heck, even Kawuro (Forget Mana, damn non-canonical nuisance), I find keeping his options open makes stories more tense and enjoyable…

Well, let's start the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be referenced in this story.

Shinji shook his head, peering outside the train window as landscape hurtled by, too quickly for him to see, just a blur.

He sighed.

"I hate this place, this sacred place within my mind."

In front of him stood Rei Ayanami, and she seemed to have a slight smile dancing across her face.

This disturbed Shinji beyond belief.

"You! Stop it! That has nothing to do with me, you know that! No one cares about me!"

Misato stood beside Rei, suddenly, speaking in a calm tone.

"You always made yourself seem less than you really are, Shinji."

"I have nothing!"

Misato smiled, a drop of blood flying from her lip to the floor below as she continued speaking.

"And you try to think yourself valueless, thinking that, by doing nothing, you would not be hurt."

Shinji shook his head.

"Nobody accepts me…"

"That is only in your mind…Your mind is tiring, Shinji."

"So, I have to forget these memories…"

"You've been trying to think yourself worthless since the very beginning."

The blood coming from Misato's mouth now was a stream pouring out onto the floor, but Misato did not flinch, Shinji sat, shivering, his hands on his ear, whisperings

"You're dead…you're dead…I had to do that…I have to do this…I…am nothing…"

Toji appeared suddenly beside Misato, so three figures were now forming a semi-circle around the Third Child, and spoke. As Toji spoke, Shinji noticed that he was missing an arm and a leg, bloody stumps left where the limbs would usually be, but was standing on his one leg as if there was absolutely nothing amiss.

"No, that's not so, Shinji, you're trying to think like that, but you're wrong!".

"I am worthless. I have nothing to be proud of."

Shinji clenched his fists, sweat dripping from his brow, and stood, staring at the three figures in front of him, furiously

"I have nothing!. Nothing! The value to live! Hah! No, I don't have it…I hate myself…I hate myself…Thus…"

The figures disappeared, and Shinji could hear Asuka's voice.

"I hate you! I hate you! You think you can ever understand me! You weakling! No wonder I left your ass!"

And then Toji's casual voice.

"I hate you…You injured my sister, and made me a cripple!"

Then Kensuke's voice.

"I hate everything about you!"

Then Hikari's voice.

"Sorry, but I hate you."

Then Ritsuko's voice.

"I hate you, I hate all the Ikari!"

Then Misato's voice.

"I hate you!"

Shinji stiffened and screamed, and then shuddered as he felt thousands and thousands of voices cry their hatred of him, the anguished voices of humanity were truly speaking at that moment.

Shinji's knees buckled, but he nodded to himself, as if content.

"Now…everybody hates me. Everyone hates me…"

Rei suddenly appeared seated beside Shinji, her face listless.

"That is only in your mind, Ikari."

Shinji stiffened.

"Rei, I told you to call me Shinji…"

"You only think others hate you, you want them to hate you."

"No…I realize now, even when I was in the Eva…Then, people praised me, but I was not happy, they hated me…They always did."

"What is your true heart?"

"I don't know…none of them…both of them…"

"So what are you?"

"I have nothing…I…am nothing."

Rei smiled, placing her pale hand upon Shinji's.

"Shinji...your hand is shaking…Wakeup, Shinji, you're alright."

Tokyo 3, Japan

Shinji's Apartment

Shinji woke up with a gasp, taking in air into his huffing lungs, cold uncomfortable sweat wet across his brow and pajamas.

He coughed and slowly began adjusting to reality, a pale arm was draped around him, shaking him softly, and then he looked up into the red eyes of Rei Ayanami.

"Are you feeling unwell, Shinji?"

Shinji sighed.

"Yes…I'm…I'm fine Rei."

"Did you have an additional nightmare, Shinji?"

Shinji shook his head, slowly pulling himself up to stand alongside Rei, scratching the back of his head.

"No, it's alright Rei, don't worry about me."

Shinji smiled, his hand flitting against Rei's cheek, caressing the soft white skin, only for a few seconds and then going back to his side, as if his very hand was ashamed.

Rei smiled as well, although only someone who had lived for her as long as Shinji would be able to truly understand the depth of Ayanami's countenance, a caring smile laced with worry.

"If you say so, Shinji."

Tokyo 3, Japan

Train 6426

Shinji sighed as the swift subway train took him through the depths of the Tokyo 3 underworld. After the destruction of the Angel Wars, even now, mass transit was conducted through a relatively primitive subway system that dated back to the 1990s.

He checked his watch as his gaze flitted across the book he was reading, "The Plague" by Albert Camus.

It was already 8:15, he was over ten minutes late to his place of work, Tokyo 3 Public School. He had become a music teacher, who also taught history on the side, although he tried to stray away from being as repetitive as the teachers he had gone through during his time as a pilot.

He'd worked as a chef at one point, back when he and Asuka…

Shinji sighed, shaking away the memories as the train came to a sudden halt and then screeching off again.
Putting the book back into his back pocket, he stood, looking about the eerily and oddly deserted car.

He made his way through the car as the movement of the train became even more turbulent, the car actually shaking, lights turning on and off.

Shinji finally reached the door as the train came to a complete halt, apparently stuck within a tunnel.

Reaching for the handle to manually open the door, he groaned as he realized it was stuck, having a sudden flashback of himself turning the handle when NERV had blacked out, Asuka standing around impatiently, not giving him a hand.

He struggled with the handle angrily, and then turned to see a hobbled old woman with her face turned away from him, her back hunched.

She suddenly turned to look at him, revealing an old and grizzled face that scared Shinji and simultaneously made him feel guilty because of that.

Her face seemed oddly venomous, as if she was threatened by his attempts to open the car door, and when he motioned for her to come help her, she simply turned back away.

Shinji sighed, his face hinting at disgust, and kicked at the door.

Dammit…I can't be late to class, I'm supposed to be the teacher…

Suddenly, as Shinji kicked the door hopelessly a second time, it opened wide, exposing an empty subway station that seemed very unfamiliar.

Shinji suddenly realized he had no idea where he was.

He slowly moved towards the old woman, who seemed to flinch away when he stopped, speaking.

"Excuse me, do you know if we've pass Kiriyama yet?"

The old lady remained silent.

"Excuse me…"

She looked him in the eyes but it seemed like she was peering through his skull at something behind him.

"Look, come on, I'm asking a simple question, I lost track of time and I need to know if we've passed Kiriyama yet."

The woman spoke, her Japanese laced with a heavy accent Shinji could not recognize.

"I no from here."

Shinji sighed in relief, glad that someone was speaking, even if he still had no idea.

He chuckled warily as he walked off the train car and down towards the station, figuring he'd go to the surface and find out exactly where he was.

He turned back as the train left before him and stared perturbed as the old lady peered out at him from a window as the train sped away, her face oddly frightened.

Shinji turned around and made his way towards the exit when he noticed a large iron gate blocking the passage to the surface.

He sighed.

"You've got to be kidding me…It's practically 8:30…"

He put his hands on his hips and sighed, making his way towards the ladder that led down to the tracks.

I suppose I'll have to do what I have to do…

He gasped as he saw a rat scampering by, staring at him with beady red eyes and then scampering off.

"No way!"

He flinched and began to make his way back up the ladder, but realizing that there was no where else to go, he steeled his will and continued on.

Shinji began to walk down the tracks, towards where he knew Kiriyama station was probably close by, his shoes squishing in a liquid he could not see in the darkness, it all made him feel quite disgusted and uncomfortable.

Almost tripping against the tracks, he reaches out and grabs a steel girder for support, only to gasp in disgust, pulling his hand back, now coated in an odd black grime.

"I have the worst luck…honestly…"

Shinji sighed, wiping the grim on his pants and continuing on, reaching for another steel girder regardless of the grime, when he noticed it was vibrating.

He gasped, spinning around, seeing two pinpoints of light hurling towards him in the darkness, sending a ripple of fear up his spine.

Shinji peered about, not sure where to go, not ready to allow his life to be taken this way.

No…not the so called "savior of humanity", I can't be dashed to dust in a cold subway tunnel.

He trudged forward as quickly as he could towards, but notices he is up to his ankle in slime.

Shinji turned back around, the lights now approaching him at an unbelievable speed, lights flashing about, the entire tunnel spinning in his head.

Why is it going that fast!

In near panic, Shinji pressed himself against the wall just as the train swoops by at an amazing speed, the velocity blowing up his black hair straight up as if it is standing on end.

He clinged to a pillar next to the wall for support, his breathing coming out in short, ragged gasps, and then looked up, the length of the train still passing.

People flashed by, looking through the windows, their faces pressed against the glass as the train sped by, making them look deformed and inhuman as they stared at him with frighteningly hollow eyes.

He gasped in fear and then turned to watch as the train finally sped off, the end appearing. A lone figure stood in the rear window, only a shadow, eerily waving at him, but the train bears him away quickly. Then all is quiet again.

Shinji sighed, afraid to move, but slowly regained his composure, continuing down the tracks and then finally stumbled up the ladder leading to Kiriyama platform.

Tokyo 3, Japan

Kiriyama Subway Platform

Shinji smiled, the expression dancing across his face. It was not the demonic grin of Asuka, or the sublimely beautiful smile of Rei, indeed it wasn't even a smile of amusement, but one of dark irony as he gazed as the Kiriyama platform exit to the surface, locked in by yet another iron gate.

A heavy chain is wrapped around the bars and Shinji peered at it, his countenance twisting to hopeless and total bewilderment.

Suddenly a muffled scream sent a chill up Shinji's spine, and he spun around, eyes wide, not sure if it had been his warped imagination.

Then the scream once more, definitely human, definitely horrifying.

He sensed its direction now and strolled off towards the men's bathroom, terrified but curious.

A crack of light appeared under the door to the bathroom itself, and Shinji stopped, unsure and indeed afraid of the unknown.

He knocked against it, and hears moaning, then the lights went off.

"Hey…Is someone in there?"

No answer, only silence.

Shinji stood silently for a moment, not sure what to do. He gasped, sure he could hear whispering within the bathroom, and feeling the sudden urge to run away.

He could hear Asuka's voice in his head, laced with malice.

"Idiot! Coward! No wonder I left you!"

He clenched and unclenched his fists.

I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…Someone may be in danger, I let enough

people die in the Angel Wars, I can't let this go.

Shinji sighed, unsure of what to do, chewing his lower lip nervously and then, finally, he reached for the door, softly pushing it open.

The light from the station penetrated the darkness of the bathroom, blinding Shinji momentarily, making him close his eyes shut, but when he opened them, he almost screamed.

A man lay naked, tied to a stall while another nude man grabbed frantically for his clothes and a teddy bear while the bound man began screaming again, Shinji recognizing it as the scream he had heard before.

The bound man screamed again, his words now becoming slightly discernable.

"Screw you! Screw you! Mind your own damn business!"

Shinji gasped, totally overwhelmed and confused, taking a step back but stopping as he heard a third man whirl out of the shadows and point a knife at his throat.

"You freak! Get out of here!"

The man's face seemed deformed, barely human, and Shinji gasped.

But before he could react, the door slammed shut again, the crack of light reappearing under the door and then the click of the door locking.

Shinji backed away, hearing laughter from inside the bathroom and then yet another scream.

His eyes were bulging, his face drawn and white, his mind blank.

He knew not what to think, simply turning around and charging towards the metal gate that blocked the exit with a scream, slamming into it with full fury.

Shinji stumbled back from his attack, his shoulder sore, and then gazed down in surprise, noticing that the chain had slid down from the bars and was now on the concrete below.

The gate squeaked loudly as Shinji pushed it aside and clanged with an almost painful burst of noise as he slammed it shut.

He sighed, his head aching and burning as he made his way into the bright surface above, completely perturbed and late for school.

He hailed a taxi and took a seat inside, sighing after he instructed the driver where to go and lying back against the cushioned seat as it made its way to Tokyo 3 Public School.

A loose memory made its way into his mind, and he closed his eyes, coughing.

Shinji lay beside Asuka, both of them nude and peering at each other with caring eyes as the sunlight weaved its way almost lazily in.

Asuka sighed.

"Do you love me, Shinji?"

Shinji smiled, about to reply when he heard the same strangled scream of the man in the bathroom coming out of Asuka's mouth, and he held his hands around his ears, sobbing uncontrollably.

Well, that's the end of that chapter, sorry if it seems too weird or if it lacks interaction between Shinji and Rei or any talk of what's happened to the other characters…

You'll get a good dose of that in the next few chapters, including some romance, so don't worry.

Anyway, until the next chapter, later…And make sure to check out some of my other fanfics too.