DIS: After a long while, I have returned with the last chapter! But don't worry, there's going to be (yes, it's true) a sequel! It's going to be 'Yami's Horrid Day'! I love Yami, but he, like Kaiba and Bakura, deserve to be unintentionally tortured. (rubs hands together) I can't wait to start it! Though, with Kaiba, it was more fun than with Bakura...(oO) That sounded so wrong on so many levels...Anyway! Here's the fifth and last chapter! I hope you enjoy.
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Warning! Shizuka and Jou bashing!
Chapter Five,Kaiba sighed, staring outside sulkily. He couldn't believe how his life was going. Where was that idiot mutt when he needed him? After all, at least Kaiba could kick Jou and the blonde probably wouldn't mind. Well, that was how Seto Kaiba saw it at any rate. It was sunny...And he was wishing that lightning would shoot down everyone he knew...Scratch that, everyone.
"Aw, screw this, I'm going to take a walk," he muttered and walked outside.
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" Kaiba jumped and saw that Yami was pointing to an old lady.
"What the hell are you doing?" Yami blinked and turned to Kaiba in surprise. Obviously, as he looked from the old lady to Kaiba, he had made a slight mistake with identities. I'm going to kill him, Kaiba thought.
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" The shorter Pharaoh declared, his finger now pointed at Kaiba, smirking like he was an important person.
"Yeah? Well, that's too bad, because I'm in no mood to duel."
"What!" Yami gasped, jerking away, staring at Kaiba in horror. "Are you sick, Kaiba? You never say 'no' to a challenge!"
"(-.-) Well, I'm not feeling up to it today – Have I made myself anyway unclear!"
"Yes," the other male replied meekly.
"How? I was being perfectly clear!"
"Well, I didn't understand the 'no', 'feeling', or 'unclear' in your sentences."
"I didn't say no."
"Yes, but you were implying it, right?"
"What's your point, Yami? Can't you see I'm not feeling well?"
(pause)
"No, not really," Yami admitted, blinking. "DUEL ME, PANSY ASS!"
"WHAT WAS THAT, YOU WASHED UP PHARAOH!" Kaiba roared. "LISTEN, I'VE HAD TO GO THROUGH HELL ALL WEEK AND I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU NAGGING AT ME TO DUEL BECAUSE FRANKLY, I KNOW I'LL LOSE COS THIS WEEK'S BEEN CRAP!"
"Um...D – "
"IF YOU SAY 'DUEL ME' ONE MORE TIME, BY ALL THE GODS, I'LL SHOVE MY FISTS SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!"
"(o.o) Actually, I was just going to ask you if you knew what time it was because my watch is broken..." Yami told him slowly, staring at him with round eyes.
"Oh..." Kaiba looked at his watch. "3:12."
"(o.o) Right, well, um...I'll just...See you later, Kaiba..." At that, Yami sunk back and out of sight. Kaiba snorted and took a deep breath, turning around, seeing people staring at him. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"
(OO'')
He gave a growl and decided to go to the park to attempt to calm down and rest a bit. He arrived and laid on a bench under some shade. He sighed, closing his eyes and putting his arms under his head. He suddenly felt like someone was staring at him and he opened his eyes to see Ryou staring down at him. He glared at him, asking, "What are you staring at, Brit-boy?"
"(-.-) A sad man..."
"(o.o) What..." I knew I wouldn't be able to find any peace here...Why, God, why!
Suddenly both males felt a foreboding presence near...It was...They turned and saw...
SHIZUKA KATSUYA!
"(o.o) Shizuka?" Ryou questioned.
"My is so cool," she told them, standing there like a dope. Kaiba stood up, his brows snapping down.
"I...suppose so," Ryou told her, thinking, (-.-) He is stupid.
What the hell is wrong with this girl? Is she brain-dead? Wait, what am I saying? Of course she is, she's related to Jou!...Is she? (oO) Who the hell is she? Kaiba wondered, trying to recall who Shizuka even was.
"So, what are you doing here, Shizuka?" Ryou inquired politely.
"Well, see, my big brother's awesome, that's why." Shizuka responded simply.
(oO) What the fuck? Kaiba stared at her, blinking.
"(oO) But...he isn't here."
"He is always with me, for he is my brother!" She told them with a broad grin.
"(X.X)..." Kaiba was dumfounded at the stupidity of her.
"(-.-) Hmm...Kaiba, is Mokuba like this with you?" Ryou asked the CEO in a low voice.
"(-.-) Sometimes."
"My sister was like that," he said thoughtfully. "But not like, er...Never mind." Shizuka, I mean.
Stupid whores...BOTH OF THEM! Kaiba told himself angrily. While they had been talking in small voices, Shizuka had been standing there, smiling dopily.
"So, um...How close are you and your brother?" Ryou asked conversationally.
"Oh, we are very close, so very close, because we are brother and sister and we love each other, because we are brother and sister!" At the end, she turned to Ryou, smiling, then at Kaiba, who was giving her bizarre looks.
"(-.-) I know that..." Shizuka merely grinned.
"Stupid girl," Kaiba sniggered.
"Er...Why don't you go out with Kaiba?" Ryou asked, beaming.
"(OO) No!" Shizuka gasped, shocked. "Kaiba is not like Jou! Jou is my brother and a very good man. I love my brother, Jou, because he is my brother and Kaiba is not my brother and not like Jou!"
"Shizuka..." Ryou began slowly. "Did you and your brother like...have sex?"
"What's sex?" She asked dumbly. Kaiba smirked.
"(Oo'') Er...Have you and your brother got naked together?"
"Sometimes," Shizuka answered thoughtfully. "He did this cool thing with this thing he had on him and it felt good." Kaiba stopped smirking and his eyes went wide, his jaw dropping.
Is Jounouchi seriously that desperate? He thought in horror. That disgusting dog!
"(OO')……………..What did it look like?" Ryou asked at last.
"A stick! A tan one, though." Kaiba suddenly turned around and Ryou could hear him gagging.
I wish I never came to this park today...
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The next day at school, as Kaiba walked towards the school, he could see Jou, Honda, and Yuugi talking at the doors. He paused in front of them, looking at Jou in disgust. He had had a nightmare last night that would freak even Bakura out...
The dream
Kaiba looked around in wonder, curious about where he was. Suddenly, the words 'MY BROTHER, JOU' popped up in Times New Roman in front of him. He jumped as they fell towards him. He ran from them and suddenly the words 'A TAN STICK' popped up in Old English Text MC and fell towards him. They made a hole and Kaiba fell down to it.
"NOOO!" He screamed and then when he opened his eyes, he was on a bed. "Huh?" He looked around and suddenly Jou and Shizuka were on him.
"Ah, big brother!" Shizuka giggled.
"(OO) AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! NOOOOO, SOMEONE HELP!" Kaiba screeched, Jou and Shizuka nude on top of him. Suddenly chains shot out, pinning him to the bed. "HELP MEEEEEE!"
End the dream
For a long time, Kaiba and Jou stared at each other. Kaiba turned around and starting to puke while the three stared at him in surprise.
Why me!
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DIS: I want to thank Vaz-chan for the idea with this chapter. Our role-playing really helped, lol. It's the end of the line for 'Kaiba's Horrid Day', everyone, but the sequel, I hope, should be out soon. Review please, and if you have any ideas for 'Yami's Horrid Day', I'd love 'em!
PS: See below for a sneak-peak of the first chapter of 'Yami's Horrid Day'!
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Title: Yami's Horrid Day
Rating: M
Genre: Humor
Summary: Sequel to Kaiba's Horrid Day! The Pharaoh not only is getting insulted by Marik, but he's also getting attacked by – Grandpa and his old friends? Pure humor!
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, but I own these ideas, the prequels, and this fic! So there! Oh, but I don't own the cologne, Axe.
Notes/Warnings: Insanity is the main one, I should think, lol.
Chapter One, Crazy women on the loose!
Yami was feeling great, despite the fact that he was avoiding Kaiba, who had lost his mind...He really needs to take anger management classes...He thought to himself, remembering how the CEO had snapped at him. Shaking it off, he entered the grocery store and went to the hair product aisle. He saw Axe on display near the aisle and sprayed some on him. He sighed, happy with the smell, then went to get some hair gel. He heard something and he turned, blinking.
(oO) Wonder what that was...? He shrugged and turned back to the gel and he blinked, seeing two feminine eyes staring at him. Was he imagining things? He heard footsteps and he turned around, seeing women advancing on him. "(OO) What – " They lunged at him and he let out a yelp, scrambling up on the shelves, running away from them. They ran after him, giving battle cries of, "I LOVE YOU!" (X.X) I want Yuugi! He'd be able to explain this!
He skidded into the bakery and wiped his forehead off. The baker gave him a curious look.
"Something wrong?" He asked Yami.
"Some women were chasing after...Uh...Why are you looking at me like that?" The baker man winked at him, purring.
"Daddy wants some candy," the baker said.
"(O,O'') AWW!" The baker man started to chase after him as well as he ran through the grocery store. "NOO! NOT MEEEEE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO NOT BE A VIRGIN!"
"COME TO DADDY, SWEETHEART!" The baker called. The women snarled at each other and the baker.
"HE'S MINE!" They all crowed, slapping each other, yet still running.
(X.X) Why did I come to the store today! Yami asked himself.
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DIS: There's some of the first chapter! Hope you guys read the sequel. After I finish it, it should be up...(o.o) Or if I'm lucky, it'll be up at the same time this is, lol. Au revoir!