Well, here's Chapter Eight…Hope you've enjoyed it so far…And for all those who think this is going nowhere and is too slow, just be patient, sure I've spent a lot of time on Shinji's weirdness, but that's one of the main points of the fanfic…Just be patient.

Well, let's go then.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be referenced in this story.

Tokyo 3, Japan

Hikari Suzuhara's Apartment

Shinji Ikari sighed, peering around the room as people danced, the music still loud, the party still quite alive deep into the night.

His eyes bulged out as he remembered the horrifying thing he had seen only minutes ago, vibrating, and then someone grabbed him by his shoulder, spinning him around.

He stumbled dizzily as he saw a woman with long black hair and creamy white skin dancing in front of him, smiling, and he stared on disorientated as she edged closer.

She took Shinji's hand, her smile widening as she guided it to her back, which was bare since she was wearing a tight, backless dress.

Shinji absentmindedly ran his hand over her back, and then recoiled, feeling something odd, completely confused at his surroundings.

He peered at her as she spun around, smiling, and noticed in horror that her back was a whole mass of shoulder blades and bony protrusions.

Shinji gasped, stumbling back, then gasped louder as he felt Rei come out of nowhere and kiss his neck, adding to his disorientation.

He fell down on the dance floor, his head jerking, and barely managed to avoid being crushed by what seemed like thousands of odd shoes.

Miraculously, he manages to raise himself back up, and his world comes back into focus.

Shinji stared on in complete surprise as Rei gyrated wildly in front of him, a huge satisfied smile on her face.

It's not that…Rei doesn't dance and act different when I'm around, but just never…like this in front of other people, not even after all this time.

Shinji gasped as he felt a small pale hand clasp his, gently jerking him forward, encouraging him to dance, but Rei seemed to be dancing to her own odd rhythm.

Shinji stares, confused, but it's then that he realizes that the smile is not for him.

Standing behind Rei is another dancer, his hands around her slender waist, moving with her in some sort of almost erotic embrace. It almost looks like he's mounting the young woman from behind.

Dear God…Rei must have gotten drunk or something, I have no idea how her body or mind would react to alcohol! Dammit I should've been more careful!

Shinji stared on, trying to shake what he couldn't admit to himself was jealousy, and suddenly noticed something about the male dancer's feet.

They have a bizarre clubbed appearance and look very much like hooves. They skid and careen amidst the other dancing feet.

Shinji stumbled backwards, unable to register what his eyes were showing him, and then suddenly with a great noise, something horrible and wing-like appeared behind Rei's back, flapping in the music.

Shinji stared on, his eyes bulging, the sight inducing a sort of primal terror in him.

Before Shinji could truly react, Rei opened her mouth, baring her small teeth as a spiked horn erupted from her throat with a great roaring sound. It jutted menacingly out from between her teeth and into the air, and for some reason the dancers around them began to scream in approval and excitement.

Shinji stumbled around, his face a visage of pure disbelief and terror, everything around him suddenly blurring, he peered at the blurred faces of the dancers around him and they suddenly seemed terrifying, their faces perverse corrupted aspects of their normal selves.

Shinji grabbed his eyes, as if trying to pull the vision straight out of his head, but it won't go away. The music throbs, the apartment shaking visibly from the booming bass, bits of dust and ceiling falling to the floor as the dancers screamed even louder in excitement.

Shinji shook his head rapidly, a piece of plaster barely missing him as he looked at the spinning crowd, noticing a shock of red hair that seemed too familiar in the crowd, a woman with fair skin, blue eyes and crimson hair, staring straight at Shinji with questioning eyes, startling him and scaring him.

Shinji stumbled around, almost spinning in circles, his actions spastic, almost delirious as his frenzy of stumbling and spinning becomes almost like a sort of exorcism, a desperate try to free himself from his body and mind.

He blinked once more as he descended into darkness, his eyes passing on beyond the pain, the dark walls of the apartment fading past.

Shinji Ikari stared at the controls, stared at his shivering body, and then stared past into the crumbled field beyond which held his great white enemies.

"I can't…I can't give…I can't let this happen…I know now…I know that I want to stay in this place! I know that I truly enjoyed being with them, through hard and happy times! Maybe I'll still make mistakes… I'll hurt them in order to be myself. And I'll apologize as well…For being alive…But I find it harder to hurt others…I'm just realizing this again. And I'll keep doing this over and over. What matters is that I wish to stay here. I hate myself…But, I might be able to love myself. I might be able to stay here…I am nothing, I have nothing, but I am I! I wish to be I! I want to stay here! I can stay here! I can learn to love!"

Shinj continued mumbling feverishly to himself, ignoring the aching pains all over his body and the soft feminine voice shouting to him over his communication channel.

He stared up at the night sky, his eyes bulging.

His eyes focused on the moon. Rings of light emanated from it filling the sky with their sparkling brilliance. The rings drew his eyes forward with a quickening intensity that grows into exhilarating speed. The rush caused them to flash stroboscopically and produces a dazzling, almost sensual, surge of color. The display is spectacular and compelling, causing Shinji's eyes to dilate rapidly.

"No…not like this…not like this!"

He let out a roar, gripping his controls as his giant avatar lurched forward, letting out an equally inhuman roar.

And then, a simple white blinding flash and a familiar presence.

Shinji stood, breathing heavily, suddenly back in Hikari's apartment, his eyes no longer aching.

The apartment is quite the same, the music still blaring, dancers smiling and sweating.

He stumbled about as cheer and applause rang out, apparently directed towards him and Rei since they both stood in the middle of the applauding dancers and Rei seemed to smile, hugging Shinji lightly, enjoying their shared touch.

Shinji suddenly jerked around as someone slapped him on the back, random dancers walking by and speaking to him.

Shinji suddenly noticed it was Touji and Kensuke, still extremely drunk.

"You are out of your mind, man! Out of your damn mind!"

"Yeah! Shinji, you little devil, you never told me you could dance like that!

"Ehehe, what'd you put in his drink, eh Rei?"

Rei slowly pulled Shinji back, giving him a smile that he knew was his and his only, it would never be anyone else's.

He plopped down in a chair in the corner, his chest heaving, and suddenly grabbed ahold of his stomach, his face frightened and distorted.

Rei's quiet voice wafted into his ears, laced with care and worry.

"Are you okay, Shinji?"

"I…I want to leave, let's get out of here."

Rei peered at her, evidently worried.

"But you said you wanted to spend time with your former classmates, Shinji, didn't you? What is wrong?"

Shinji suddenly pulled Rei to him, embracing her, shocking the blue-haired girl, but she soon softened and returned the embrace as she heard Shinji's voice in her ear, coated with paranoia.

"Rei…Where are we?"

Rei peered at Shinji as he broke the embrace, her face registering a miniscule bit of surprise.

"We are at your former class representative Hikari's house, you remember, Shinji."

"Where?"

"What do you mean Shinji? I did just tell you. Are you sure you're fine?"

"I'm fine now, I'm fine…Just…Where's Hikari? Bring her here…"

"Why? What for?"

Shinji seemed agitated, holding his stomach and rocking painfully.

"Show me Hikari, please!"

Hikari's voice suddenly wafted into Shinji's ears, from a few feet away.

"I'm right here Shinji, what's up? Boy that was quite a dance."

Shinji stared at her, his eyes squinting into slits.

"Hikari?"

Hikari raised an eyebrow, feeling odd.

"Uh…You wanted to see me, right? Well here I am…"

"I…see."

"What do you want?"

"Just to see you. That's all."

Hikari blushed slightly, evidently quite uncomfortable.

"Right…How do I look?"

"Like Hikari."

Suddenly as the last word left Shinji's mouth, he gasped, breaking out in a dense sweat, his entire body shaking and convulsing.

Rei quickly sprang forward, worried, touching his shaking forehead.

"Are you alright Shinji? You're burning up, your forehead. What's wrong? Are you still sick, Shinji?"

Hikari touched his forehead too, slowly, gasping.

"Wow…That's hot, maybe from all that dancing he did…"

Rei's hand flitted against Shinji's forehead again, her cool delicate hand almost caressing his burning forehead.

"I think you should lie down."

Shinji continued to shake, at an even faster pace, uncontrollably in his chair, and people began to gather around, staring at him.

"Can't you stop it?"

Shinji spoke through his convulsive shaking, his voice surprisingly fine.

"If I could stop it, I would have already."

"Is he sick?"

"Boy, he's on fire."

"Let me help you."

Miyu reached out to Shinji, but unexpectedly, he recoiled, jumping to his feet like a wild man and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Stay away from me! Don't you come near me! All of you. Go to hell! Go to hell, goddamn you! Stay away!"

The last thing Shinji saw as he teetered off into darkness was a man to the corner, a smirk on his face, and Shinji recognized him as the man whose head had been vibrating so rapidly and inhumanely.

The man paused, and then spoke, his voice smooth.

"I'll call a cab."

Shinji sat nervously on the couch in front of the television, rubbing the bandages on his head. Asuka was seemingly intent on watching the soap opera in front of them, and the Third Child was quite relieved she wasn't directing her attention on him.

Asuka's stomach grumbled quite loudly, interrupting the relative peace.

"Damn I'm hungry! Hey Shinji, where the hell is dinner!"

"Well…I was waiting for Misato to…"

"Are you stupid! She's too busy at NERV Headquarters to bother to come here…they're still repairing all that damage, or don't you remember, idiot!"

Shinji clenched his prosthetic hand and frowned.

"Sorry"

"Humph! There you go again with your constant apologizing"

"But it's my fau-"

"Shut up!"

"Sorr-"

Asuka roughly pushed him back onto the couch with a snort and strolled towards her room, leaving the Third Child in a gloomy daze.

Shinji lay there on the couch, unable to sleep, yet unable to gather the energy to do anything.

So he simply lay there, contemplating all that had befallen him in his time at NERV…and all the people he had met.

His father, Gendo Ikari, now laying in a coma. Such a powerful man helpless to the cords of fate, which were even now spinning new events, or perhaps being cut. Shinji didn't know what to think about his father…Those kind words…The abandonment…Touji…Touji…Touji. He could not forgive his father for that…ever! Yet he could not bring himself to despise his father. He almost felt sympathy for the man, since they shared the common feeling of loss. Yui Ikari. For Shinji the loss of a mother he had barely known but still dreamed of. For Gendo the loss of a wife and collaborator, and perhaps Shinji thought, a true love.

Then there was Asuka Langley Sohryu, the Second Child. He couldn't bring up a single emotion to describe what he felt about her. There was hate, companionship, empathy, admiration, mixed with dozens of other things. Yet he had lately felt one of them growing above the others, despite her sadism towards him.

His mind finally rested on the pale mystery that was Rei Ayanami. He felt something for her quite similar to what he felt for Asuka. Confusion, hopeful friendship, and perhaps even empathy. She was cold and distant, but sometimes warmer and familiar, like some blue-haired enigma.

Shinji's inner thoughts were interrupted by soft sobbing. At first Shinji reached for his face, thinking he had been crying without himself realizing it, as he often was these days. Yet his face was mostly dry, and on closer inspection, he realized the sound was emanating from Asuka's room.

Shinji slowly inched his way towards the closed door and then froze, sweat dripping off his brow. He remembered the last time he had tried something…she had been having these nightmares for weeks it seemed.

The Third Child nodded to himself as if silently affirming something and then began to slowly and silently open the door, as if he hoped Asuka would be asleep and he wouldn't have to do anything.

The opened door revealed Asuka silently dozing on her bed, her eyes red from tears, but evidently sleeping and not cognizant of Shinji's intrusion.

Shinji smirked to himself, glad that he hadn't actually encountered anything and spun around to leave when his foot caught on something and slammed him down on the ground.

Shinji swore silently as Pen-Pen skittered off after accidentally tripping him. Then he noticed where he was lying.

He was on the ground and his face was inches away from Asuka's slumbering countenance, so close that he could almost feel her warm breath on his face.

Shinji stared at the face and blushed deeply.

She was like an angel in slumber, even when she was so teary-eyed.

He could stare at it for hours, yet he knew it was time to do something, mainly flee as fast as possible before she woke up, or…

In a fit of bravery caused by a mix of empathy and hormonal passion, Shinji slowly edged his face closer to the beautiful face in front of him. Each second as he drew close seemed like an eternity.

But finally their lips touched, and Shinji drank in a light yet satisfying peck on her lips, fully expecting to die when she woke up. But he was in peace now, and would be willing, he told himself, after that.

Suddenly Asuka moved her face closer, her eyes still closed and clamped her lips onto his, responding in a deep kiss, which sent Shinji in a biological frenzy and almost gave him a stroke as he felt her tongue slashing against his lips and her slow pleased moans.

Shinji's eyes blinked open and close as he stared up into the ceiling, dozens of people including Rei and Hikari staring down at his fallen body, tears flowing down his face.

And off in the corner of his vision, he could still see her, the red-headed girl, staring down at him, except now, her face was a visage of disgust and spite.

Nothing…ever changes.

Weird chapter? Lame chapter? Eh whatever…I enjoyed writing it, and I can guarantee that the next few chapters are going to get even weirder and even worse for poor Shinji, although you might see some R/S if you're lucky and even some A/S!

Well, see you next chapter.