Well, we've finally hit the double-digits, and it's been a fun ride…I've still got a good amount of chapters left, so bear with me…And for all those who think this is going slow…come on, what do you expect? Action?
Just be patient.
And you know, this may be heresy, but I'm losing all faith in Asuka/Shinji and Rei/Shinji…I've just read so many of them, and people aren't coming up with any idea. I want a pairing that's fresh and nice with Shinji, and one that doesn't include evil pale Angels or non-canonical characters (Here's looking at you, Kaworu and Mana)…So…I've found myself…Enjoying Hikari/Shinji.
Is that so wrong? Dammit! It's nice! And great! Although sort of hard to find sometimes.
But anyway, this won't really affect my fanfic writing, Hikari's basically nonexistent in this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be referenced in this story.
Tokyo 3, Japan
Shinji Ikari smiled as he held the small wiggling boy in his arms, carrying him while tickling and kissing him playfully.
Kaworu laughed as Shinji dropped him into the bed, snuggling around in his thick blue blanket.
He stared at the boy, a look of incomprehensible love on his face, true warmth and happiness. It was sublimely meaningful for Shinji Ikari to raise his seed, Kaworu Ikari, in a place of such love and warmth, he was almost making up for his own horrible childhood and the parental neglect he had experienced. Almost making up for…
Father…Where are you now? Is there a Hell? I hope…I hope you are with her.
Deep down Shinji Ikari realized the deep emotions and madness that had driven Gendo Ikari to the man he had been before his death, and he had sworn to forgive his father as best he could, while striving to never become a monster like the late Ikari.
He turned away; satisfied that Kaworu was properly tucked in and warm, and then began making his way out the child's room.
"Wait…daddy."
"Hmmm?"
"Don't go."
He turned around, smiling.
"Don't go? I'm right here Kaworu, I'll never leave you."
He looked at his son tenderly and gave him a warm hug.
"Now come on, get back to sleep, you can still get a couple more hours."
He walked to the door when he was interrupted suddenly by Kaworu's voice once more.
"…I love you."
There is actually deep emotion and a mature sincerity and seriousness in the child's voice and Shinji is struck deeply by them.
"I feel a great empathy for you, Shinji Ikari."
"Empathy?"
"In other words, I love you."
"…Don't shut the door, daddy."
Shinji nodded, still dazed, and left the door a bit ajar.
"Please, a tiny bit more…"
Shinji opened the door more until Kaworu smiled and nodded, and then finally made his way back down the hall towards a much a larger room, in the darkness.
Shinji sighed as he settled into his bed, as Asuka rolled around to get more comfortable, her legs brushing against his in the cold night.
He pulled the blanket up to his neck and suddenly felt an unexplainable, sore, and deep feeling of sadness and longing.
He stared at the red-haired girl, peering at her beautiful face as if it was the first time he had ever seen it, and murmured something in the dark night.
"I love you, Asuka."
She smiled warmly and turned to him, emitting a soft voice that seemed uncharacteristic and then horribly familiar. Inexplicably, from her mouth came the voice of Rei Ayanami.
"I love you too, Shinji Ikari."
And then Shinji screamed, a horrible, agonizing sound, as he felt his soul being wrenched out from his body, tears running down his face.
Thousands of soldiers and tanks moved away from the base as the flash of light formed a great glowing crucifix in the air.
They had failed their mission, failed to defend humanity, now the great purple monster would destroy the world. Or at least that is what they thought.
Shinji Ikari sat in the darkness, feeling blinding pain in his stomach and chest again, his eyes dilating rapidly as he beheld the wasted landscape and the white creatures on the ground, their limbs and heads thrown around in every direction.
"I…did…it…Asuka…I…"
Darkness began to pervade his vision, and then watery, womb-like sounds rise out of nowhere, the rippling of water, a heart beating. Gradually voices can be heard mumbling; distant sounds, warm and familiar.
Tokyo 3, Japan
Shinji's Apartment
Shinji Ikari groaned and coughed, totally and utterly confused and disorientated as he felt the hand grasp strongly around his wrist and pull him out of the water.
He peered up at the doctor, and then Rei and a few of the remaining neighbors in confusion.
The doctor looked up and down his dripping body approvingly and then nodded.
"You're a lucky man, my friend, a lucky man. You made it; you must have friends in high places, that's all I can say."
He only groaned in response as Mekira and Kurosawa offered him their hands, grasping Shinji's nearly blue arms and pulling him out of the cold water.
He inexplicably smiled, looking around the room as he tried to pull himself to a standing position.
Shinji took one step onto the tile floor and collapsed onto his back, descending into darkness.
Why do you always have to be like that, Asuka?
Shinji Ikari groaned, rolling in the soft bed, the sunlight leaking in and blinding his groggy eyes.
He peered at Rei Ayanami, who seemed to be moving around inexplicably around the dining table. Finally she notices him looking and smiles, her sublime warm smile that fills Shinji with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
She strolls up to him slowly and places a warm, delicate pale hand on his forehead.
"Shinji…"
She warmly stroked her fingers through his hair as he stared dumbly at her.
"It's going to be alright Shinji; you're fine now, no more nightmares, and no more sickness. You were simply fatigued, that is all."
"Am I…home?"
"You're home Shinji. Welcome home. You've always been home. The doctor said you were lucky your brains didn't boil last night."
She smiled, an odd smile, different from her usual one, but still slight and hard to notice to the untrained eye nonetheless.
"What an odd night Shinji, it was crazy. You kept talking to yourself and shouting, "Asuka, close the window!". And even talking to your dead child. You know you melted two hundred pounds of ice in eight hours? The human body is simply amazing."
"Are we home? In Tokyo 3?"
"You're right here Shinji, just get some rest."
She puffed up his pillow, smiling.
"The doctor simply told me that you had some sort of virus, that's simply their excuse when they cannot identify the ailment I suppose. You can't do anything for a week, you have to recuperate. I guess you'll have to contact a substitute for your classes. "
She stroked his forehead and then rose back up.
"Just lie back Shinji, I have some soup cooking. I may not be too proficient in cooking, but you did at least teach me enough to be able to do that."
Rei left the room, making her way back towards the kitchen while Shinji watched, seeming lost and confused.
Shinji yawned, stretched out next to the kitchen table, rubbing his stubble. He wore a simple black shirt with blue jeans.
He sighed, leaning over towards the window and looking off in the direction of the bathroom window in the distance.
Once again there was someone just standing there, a silhouette of a man not moving, simply staring in his direction.
"No…No…They just stand there for hours, you know? Absolutely dead still."
Touji giggled.
"They're obviously playing with…with themselves, Shinji."
"Not at all…"
Kensuke chuckled, his bespectacled eyes twinkling, apparently in agreement with Shinji.
"He just told you Touji, they stand dead still. Can you play with yourself without moving?"
Hikari scowled and Rei simply remained silent, although there was a look of concern in her crimson eyes as Shinji mumbled to himself.
"I could've sworn…"
Shinji shook his head, remembering Touji, and took out the binoculars he had found weeks ago in this very room, peering through their clean lenses towards the bathroom window.
He put the binoculars down and turned back to the table in front of him, peering about intensely.
Piles of books were strewn out in front of him, some reading "The History of the Crusades", another "Demonology", and yet even more with names like "A Handbook to Demon Mythology" and "Modern Myths".
He peers at them carefully, taking out a particularly dusting one and leafing through its pages.
Rei, meanwhile, is standing by the counter, making what looks to be like sandwiches, and peering at Shinji with almost a look of grave concern in her red eyes.
She moves closer to him, looking around, and finally speaks, her voice soft but firm.
"Shinji…It's been almost a week since your sickness. You need to get fresh air, you need to go outside, such conditions aren't healthy for your body."
Shinji remains silent, staring at a page in the book that depicts winged demons, real demons, with spindly horns and great long tails.
Rei sighed, too quiet to hear and placed a single, delicate pale hand on Shinji's cheek.
"Is there anybody in there, Shinji? Shinji?"
Rei pushed Shinji's face towards her, and they lock eyes.
Suddenly, they crimson eyes seem almost evil and cold, and Shinji can see something almost subtly disturbing about them.
She speaks again, and her voice is amplified a thousand times in Shinji's ears.
"IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE!"
Shinji screamed, flying backwards and kicking up his chair, landing on his back as Rei stumbled backwards.
And then suddenly, all is calm and quiet. Shinji groaned, a bloody scratch on his head from where he had fallen.
Suddenly a pale hand touches the scratch and he shivered, looking up to see Rei, her face calm and sad.
"Are you okay Shinji?"
Shinji moaned and wrapped Rei in a tight hug, surprising her by such a firm show of love.
Shinji Ikari needed something real to hold on to, no matter the conditions, at that moment he needed someone. And as always, Rei Ayanami was there.
Rei smiled, slightly, and rubbed Shinji's stubble.
"You…you should shave again. You are beginning to look too much like…like your father."
Shinji frowned, but then chuckled, trying to keep a semblance of the calm happiness together.
"I will Rei, I will…"
Rei smiled even deeper, shocking Shinji to his core as her smiles always did, and then planted a soft passing kiss on Shinji's cheek as they both stood up.
"I will see you later, Shinji…I am, as the Second Child would crudely say, horny."
Rei said this playfully, or as playfully as she could, enough not to make it sound awkward and then unexpectedly raised two fingers like horns over her head.
Shinji let out a stiff chuckle, nodding and smiling, Rei's hand gesture taking his full attention, his eyes straining and tired.
Rei nodded her farewell, making her way out the door and slamming it.
When she was gone, Shinji fell back onto a chair, sighing as he peered around.
His rest was quickly interrupted by the annoying ring of the phone, next to him.
Shinji picked it up, yawning before he answered.
"Yes, hello?"
"Shinji Ikari?"
"Speaking."
"It's Makoto…Makoto Hyuuga."
"…"
"You don't remember me, do you?"
"Hahah! No Makoto! Damn, I can't believe you're still around after all these years…No, of course I remember you."
"Yeah…it's been a long time."
"So, what's been going on with your life?"
"Not much."
"No? Me neither, at least not anymore…So tell me, what do I owe the honor of this phone call to? I mean, we never talked too much, although I remember…Misato talking about you…"
"Misato…"
"Yeah…"
Both their voices seemed grim and distant as they both remembered different versions and forms of the woman long dead known as Misato Katsuragi.
"I…need to see you Shinji."
"Well Makoto, I was sort of sick recently, and I'm a bit busy, but…"
Makoto's voice interrupted, and it seemed laden with fear and desperation.
"I need to see you Shinji!"
And then the line went dead.
Shinji sighed, slowly putting down the receiver, utterly confused.
I wonder what was up with Makoto? He was acting odd…but I guess everything seems odd lately.
He suddenly groaned, feeling the urge to go to the bathroom.
Dammit, that's the only thing that's stupid with this building…I hate sharing a toilet…it's too far…
He stumbled out the door, looking around the empty, dusty brown hall and making his way down it, stepping on each creaky floorboard.
Finally he made his way to the bathroom door, suddenly remembering that there had been someone standing there when he had checked in the morning. But apparently there was no one in there presently.
He reached out, slowly opening the bathroom door, feeling a tinge of apprehension and fear.
Suddenly a great odd sound as four or five crows swooped out from the bathroom, right over his head, sending him falling down on his butt, utterly startled as the birds flew down the hall and through an open window.
What the hell was that!
He slowly stood up and entered the bathroom, noticing the open window.
Ah, I guess they came in through there for some reason.
He unzipped his pants, sighing as he stood at the urinal, peering about the walls of the bathroom as he stood.
All over the walls was graffiti and writing, some the typical "Call blank for a good night", others just obscenities or "Blank loves blank".
He cocked his head, peering at a something odd scrawled in one corner of the wall. It seemed like it was written by a child. "I mustn't run away."
Shinji peered at it, quite perturbed and then turned, giving a passing glance out the bathroom window.
I wonder what you can see of my apartment from here…
He stood closer and peered towards his apartment window, his eyes focusing on a young man with dark hair, prominent stubble, wearing a black shirt with blue jeans. The man was staring at him through a pair of binoculars.
And with that, Shinji Ikari descended into darkness.
Weird? Short? Overdue? Eh, whatever, I'm trudging on…See you next chapter…
Hope you're not too confused.
Ehehehhe…