Chapter Eight
Seth had dreaded coming back to school, knowing that by now everyone would have heard what had happened. He didn't quite know what to expect. The upturned noses and coy whispers he saw he had learned to deal with, but the occasional sympathetic apologies from people he hardly knew were all new to him. He didn't know how to respond other than a quiet thank you. He wasn't used to the sympathy, not from people who had ignored him his whole life. It was an awkward feeling.
When lunch rolled around, he was happy for the break, and the chance to just sit with his friends. Luke and Marissa had inquired about Ryan, while Summer clung onto one of his arms. After filling them in on Ryan's condition, he told them about what Dr. Kim had said. He was glad that he wasn't the only one who was appalled.
"They're going to hold him back?" Marissa shocked. "That's totally not fair!"
"Well, how long does he have to take those tests?" Summer asked. "I mean, maybe he can wait until this whole thing has blown over and take them when he's ready."
"Somehow I don't think that's how it works," Seth grumbled, shaking his head.
"Hey maybe there's something we could do," Marissa suggested. "Maybe talk to Dr. Kim? I'm sure if we all went in there…"
"Like Dr. Kim would listen to us," Seth sighed. "Besides, I think my Dad's going to talk with her. Give her the old Cohen mind tricks, which are, by the way, very similar to Jedi mind tricks mind you…minus the whole ability of the force. We have the Jewish force on our side." Summer smacked his arm playfully and the tension seemed to lessen when Seth let out a laugh. They fidgeted with each other as Luke and Marissa just joked about Seth's Star Wars obsession.
The friendly bantering was halted when Anna came over and stood by their table. "Hey guys," she gave a small wave.
"Anna," Seth stood up and gave her a hug. "You're still here," it came out more as an observation than a question.
Anna nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah well, I'm leaving tonight."
"You are," Seth nodded, taking in the information. "Well, I thought you were going to stay for a little. I mean…until Ryan…" Seth moved his hands to elaborate.
"I know," Anna looked truly remorseful. "It's just…I need to go. I mean, the doctors said Ryan was going to be all right, didn't they? And if he's not, I'll come back. But right now, I need to do this." Seth stood by quietly, looking like someone had just smacked him across the face. Anna brushed a strand of his hair behind his ear. "So, I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess," Seth whispered. Anna patted his shoulder and he pulled her into a hug.
Turning to the others, she whispered a quiet goodbye to them. Marissa hugged her, as did Summer, who pulled back and said, "I'm going to miss you, as weird as that sounds."
"I'll miss you too," Anna smiled, tears stinging at her eyes.
"Bye Blanch."
"See ya, Rose."
Then Anna turned and walked away. Seth stood and watched her go. He felt lost. He hadn't been ready to say goodbye again just yet. He'd thought that Anna would stick around for at least another week. It was all happening so fast. He felt Summer's arm sling into his and he turned to give her a half smile.
"You okay, Cohen?" she asked. He twitched his mouth in what was suppose to be a smile, but he failed miserably. It was enough of an answer and Summer rubbed his arm. "It will be fine. It's not like you won't ever see her again. There's this marvelous new invention called a cell phone that works wonders when you want to talk to someone." Seth let a small laugh escape his mouth.
"Summer, did you just make a sarcastic comment?" Seth asked.
"Who me?" Summer asked innocently. "Never." He chuckled and kissed her. When he pulled back, she smiled. "It will be all right."
Just then, the bell rang for class and the foursome groaned. "After school I'm heading over to see Ryan," he said, turning to them all. "You guys are welcome to come."
"I'll drive," Marissa gave.
"See ya then," Luke said, pointing at them before heading off towards class. Summer gave a small shake of her head before walking Seth to his next class.
Kirsten was in the middle of reading about Dingoes in Africa when Sandy walked into the room. She looked up and instantly smiled, setting down the National Geographic. Sandy was holding a bag of carry out and two coffees. He looked around the room. "I didn't know they moved him," he whispered. "I walked into the other room and saw someone with their leg in a cast and a bandage on their face. I was beginning to get worried."
Kirsten chuckled and helped Sandy with the food. "They moved him this morning so they could make room for other patients. The doctor changed the one visitor only policy. I gave him some friendly persuasion." He kissed her on the cheek and went to go over to Ryan, but Kirsten wrapped her arms around his shoulders and drew him in for a longer, more intimate kiss. When finally she pulled away, Sandy was grinning.
"Whoa-ho," he chuckled. "We should do this more often."
"I hope not," Kirsten said, turning to look at Ryan. But she caught a whiff of the carryout and her stomach growled, giving her weakness away. "It smells wonderful."
"I thought you'd be hungry. It's probably against the rules to have food in here, but I was hungry too." Sandy nodded, starting to take out the food. "So, how is he?" He asked, looking over at Ryan who was still sleeping soundly. His face was placid, but there was more color to his cheeks than before, which was an encouragement to Sandy.
"Sleeping," Kirsten answered, already digging into some fried rice. "They had to give him a stronger sedative," she said tentatively, watching Sandy frown as he made his way over to the bed. He ran a hand over Ryan's head, looking down at him. Kirsten couldn't help but feel the warmth of the bond between Sandy and Ryan. The way Sandy was looking at Ryan right then, it was how a father would look at a son. She knew that Ryan had come a long way since that day Sandy had brought him home, with flushed cheeks, a bruised hand, and an attitude to the way he'd stood. He'd thanked Kirsten nervously for letting him stay and she had seen a glimpse of the anxious teenager he really was. But he'd only let her seen a glimpse. The rest of the time, he was cold, shut off from them. She hadn't trusted him at first. But now, things were completely different. Her first impression of the boy had been completely wrong and she regretted ever thinking those thoughts. Ryan had changed their lives. And true, they had had their ups and downs, but there was no denying the sense of motherly attachment Kirsten felt towards him. He couldn't change his past, and that was something Kirsten was going to have to deal with, they would all have to deal with.
"Did he wake up?" Sandy asked, breaking Kirsten from her thoughts.
"No," Kirsten shook her head, wondering how she would ask the question that she wanted so desperately to ask. She decided to just talk about it and let it go from there. "He was having nightmares."
"Oh," was all that Sandy gave her. She waited for him to go on, but after a moment, she realized that he didn't plan on saying anything else. He was looking down at Ryan with a frown on his face. She wished she knew what was going through Sandy's mind. He knew more about Ryan than she did and probably knew a little bit about what Ryan's nightmares were like.
Kirsten decided to confirm Sandy's thoughts. "They were about his mother," she said. Sandy looked over towards her, confused as to how she would know that if he hadn't woken up. "He called out for her," Kirsten gave softly.
"I suppose her showing up didn't help much," Sandy said before taking a seat next to Kirsten and grabbing a carton of takeout. He took a bite and sighed. "Dawn Atwood is what nightmares are made of." It was meant as a joke, but Kirsten picked up on the truth behind the statement. It was time, she knew it was.
"Sandy," she waited until he looked over at her. "I want to see his file."
"Well I don't think the doctor just gives out his patients' files…"
"You know that's not what I meant," Kirsten said, her eyes lowering at him.
Sandy nodded and held up his hand. "I know," he said before putting down the food and rubbing his hands together. "I don't know if…"
"I want to know what happened to him before he came to us," Kirsten interrupted. "I need to know."
"And after you know?" Sandy asked, looking over at her. "Then what?"
Kirsten was stunned by the question. It caught her off guard. "Well…"
"Because I tell you what," Sandy didn't let her finish. "The last thing this kid needs is someone looking at him with sympathy in their eyes. He doesn't go for it and he's going to get a whole lot of those stares after this."
Kirsten struggled to find words. She thought about letting the subject drop, letting Sandy win this argument again, but she knew that she had to do this. "Well that may be true, but I won't look at him like that. I know that his past isn't something I'm going to like. I know this, Sandy. But when I look at him, I don't look at him like he's some thug off the streets of Chino. I look at him like he is my son, Sandy. And if I'm going to consider him my son, I need to know who he is, what he's been through."
Sandy seemed to think about it for a moment, his eyes flickering towards where Ryan still slept soundly. He put a hand to his chin, rubbing his fingers over his lips. Finally, after a few moments of thought he said quietly, "Are you sure you want this?"
There was no hesitation. "Yes," she answered firmly. "I need to know. It won't change anything."
"Good," Sandy said. "Because if it does, Ryan will know and you can bet that he won't take it lightly."
"I know."
"The file is in my desk at home, top hand drawer," Sandy didn't look at her as he was saying it, as if he was giving away a hidden secret that wasn't his to give away. In a way, Kirsten knew that was exactly what he was doing. She leaned back in her chair, determination on her face. It wouldn't change the way she looked at or thought about Ryan. If anything, it would give her a better sense of where the kid was coming from. But as she realized her victory over this argument, she also realized that now it meant she was going to have to read what would probably be the hardest thing she'd ever have to read in her entire life.
Review Responses:
kikicohen: Yeah, Seth was a little bitchy, but that's how he deals with situations like this. I don't think that it's quite over yet. :) There may be an even bitchier Seth in future chapters.
beachtree: Why thank you! I'm glad you liked it, hehe. Yeah, there's a lot of issues that the show brings up that I wish they would elaborate on a bit more. I'm trying to keep track of them all in this story, but it's kinda hard. The next chapter is going to have some drama in it, with Anna leaving and with Kirsten reading Ryan's file. I love the dynamics in the show and I've been trying to bring them into this story as much as possible. This is my first OC fanfic, so hopefully I can learn what works and doesn't work so that the next one will be good as well.
Callie-Cat: Thank you! I really love Kirsten and Ryan's relationship as well. I finally watched the season finale of season 2 and, even though I had heard that Kirsten said something far meaner to Ryan, I was still really intrigued with what she said to him. I just wish the show was more than just an hour long so they could touch on the little things like that a bit more. Well, I guess that's what they got fanfics for, hehe. :)
slimkay: Kirsten is going to unleash herself, but it's going to be misplaced anger. :) Especially the next episode. It's going to be rough for her.
I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies: Hey thanks for keeping up with the reviews! I'm glad you still like the story, hehe. I'm really getting into this.
forgottenletters: Good idea. ;) The next chapter will be partly about Kirsten reading Ryan's files. So, part of your request is answered, hehe. I'll see what I can do about the other part.
TeacherTam: Thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad you're reading my story. Yeah, I love Ryan's character. I think he's just about my favorite character in any television show. He's got such a great personality and back story.
Dumbeblondi02: That would be an interesting twist! I should have thought about a different word for Ryan to whisper, because I don't see Ryan calling Kirsten "Mom", at least not yet. But I may use that in a different story. :)
IY-ROX: Thank you! The gruesome twosome will come into play a little later. Well, at least Caleb will. Perhaps I can throw in some Kirsten/Julie time. That would be interesting to write. And maybe I can have Julie stop by after Ryan gets home. Thanks for the idea! I've got the perfect thing for her to say to him after he gets home. Oooh...my muses are loving you now, lol.