Disclaimer: I hate these but I have to so... Xena n' 'em is MCA universal's property. Story is mine. so ha!
Pain Disclaimer: Lots of emotional Pain. there is a part that deals a bit with the embarrassment of new womanhood but very briefly
Sex Disclaimers: Man Woman sex... sorry my imagination don't go that far yet. If it bother you don't read it... I just happen to think this is my funniest ever
Dear Xenites,
I wasn't gonna send this to get published or anything I wrote it for fun. It is the funniest Xena sorry I have, I needed to shear it with some one. If I offend I don't mean to. there is a bit of subtext to it.
I will always commend and say that I have been hit by inspiration of Shawn "Batsky" or else I would have never written the story. Also I was inspired by Missy and my fellow merpups by giving me courage to send it out. I hope you guys like it and let me know. I always love to hear from my mentors.
Thanks,
DR (fanfic writer formerly known as Halissa Begnoon)
When We Meet Again
Gabrielle and I rode to Paramus. I had her ride with me because I was in a hurry to get there. I hadn't seen my husband in what seemed like to me years. In fact it had only been 6 weeks… The six longest weeks of my life. Hercules and I were married privately and kept our union between he and I and of course Gabrielle. Gabrielle was great about it, she promised not to write it in her scrolls
He and I were together that night. Our loving each other had been so perfect and much better than I had remembered it. The whole thing wasn't supposed to be real. But after our mission was over that night, we decided to stay married. Every one else thought it was a rouse but only the three of us knew the truth. My soul mate and I, and oh yeah my lover, my Hercules knew of it. We drank from each other that night, and exhausted ourselves till the morning.
When dawn awoke, Hercules and I made arrangement to meet at Paramus; one of the smallest most isolated Villages I had the pleasure of raiding. Surely they have forgotten that by now, It's been so long. I rode away from him, the same way I had when we had first discovered one another. With a look of dejection and sorrow in his face, he watched me go. Then I smiled at him as Gabrielle and I rode out of the city, and his smile returned. That is the sight that I carry in my heart as I ride to the small village.
In the Early Twilight Paramus came into view. I urged Argo to a full gallop, as we neared the small village. "Could you go any faster? I think there is one part of my body that isn't quite sore yet." Gabrielle complained as I started to slow down at the gates of the village.
"Maybe later." I said with a grin. Gabrielle slapped my arm playfully as she dismounted. I followed suit and started to guide Argo to the stables. "I'll meet you at the inn." I said
"Okay." she answered and headed for the quaint building in the center of the village square.
I looked around the village and everything seemed familiar, but then again all isolated villages were the same. There were some parts with cobble stone walkways. There were buildings of stone that held more than one family in it. They saved room for all the farms outside of the gates. There also was one big square in the middle of the town, which served a multiple purpose. One tall plank with a wooded post and some rope for hangings. A podium next to that, and a fountain full of Dinars. It also served as an agora. With merchants peddling their goods in one big circle within the square.
The stables were always the hardest to find. I tried to ask one of the young men where they were but he just looked at me and ran away. He remembered… Paramus had been one of my last haunts before Hercules came into my life. I guess it wasn't long enough since I had been here. "Damn." I said to myself and after a moment's hesitation decided to proceed and find the stables my self.
When I finally found the stables I took a few minutes to get Argo settled. As I brushed her I started to remember all of the things I had done. My heart filled with regret and my eyes filled with tears. Oh yes the Warrior Princess cries too. I felt a presence behind me and I blinked the tears out quickly. I continued brushing Argo as if I felt nothing. "You are not welcome here," a thick male voice said from behind me.
"I don't remember asking your opinion." I answered and turned to face them. It was an old man in robes from the court of justice. I sighed softly and waited for him to say something.
"We want no trouble from you Xena," he said with a tone that signaled a warning. "I fought against you the last time you came through here, and we are more than ready to do it again."
"Al right, now get out of my way." I said not really wanting to address his prejudice, I didn't blame him for it either. I felt awful enough as it was, so I started to head out. As I did so, I spotted Hercules walking towards the stables led by another village man.
"There she is Hercules… It's Xena," All of the sudden I felt a whole lot better. I caught a playful glint in my husband's eyes and decided to follow his lead.
"We've met before," He said to the men then turned to me. "Xena… Long time no see." I retained my stony expression and reached for my chakram. Inside I felt uncontrollably giddy. My heart fluttered, as my eyes beheld him. I almost sighed. His lips twitched and moved his hands in a way that told me he was ready for me to go at him.
"Ahhhh!" I yelled as I charged him. We sparred our way out of the stables into the square. I got in a good couple of shots. A nice Jump kick to the chest, and a round kick to the head. I went for is groin, not that I was gonna kick hard, I was gonna use that later. He took hold of my leg as I went for it and felled me to the ground.
Then he took hold of my arms and pinned them behind me. "I love it when you are rough." I whispered to him. Then I flipped him over and we were hand to hand for a couple more rounds. We neared some trees and I jumped up a branch. I chuckled to my self as I walked high above his head. I could see Gabrielle walk out of the in and watch amused in the distance leaning against the wall.
He smiled up at me and said "Xena, come out come out where ever you are."
"Make me come." I answered with a sly grin
"It will be my pleasure." He replied.
I laughed heartily and flipped off the branches and onto his shoulders straddling his head his face nestled between my legs. He liked at my crotch and I gasped loosing my balance and falling backwards and into his strong arms. "Nice catch" I said looking at him.
"Told ya I could make you come," he said with a smirk. I looked around us and there were villagers all around us, some were stunned at the gentleness in which Hercules treated me. And those who saw and heard the subtext of our words were rather giggly and red of embarrassment. Gabrielle was making her way towards us with a gigantic smirk on her face.
"Was that good for you?" She said
"Oh yes…" Hercules answered
"Definitely." I agreed. My body still felt a tingle of where Hercules had placed his tongue.
"C'mon let's get out of here." He said once we were back in the stables. He put me down and handed me my saddlebag. I readied Argo and we all headed out to sleep at a lake clearing nearby. Away from the speculative looks of the many villagers.
Regrets
I was very pensive that night through dinner. I couldn't help but think about what I had done to so many people. "Dinar for your thoughts." I heard Hercules' sexy fluid voice from behind me. It sent chills up my spine and it was all I could do to devour him then and there.
I turned to face him. "I'm ok… some fun up in the village huh?" I asked sarcastically.
"Oh yeah blasts." He answered. I sighed softly and leaned back on a fallen tree trunk. I looked out onto the lake and it looked rather peaceful. This in itself was not uncommon, but there was something different that I couldn't place.
"I wish, I had stayed in the right path… I wish I hadn't gone bad." I said out loud. Hercules put an arm around and kissed me softly.
"I would never want it any other way. Xena If you were different we might have never met, you know that? And your past makes you the woman I love. I mean, the only way you can erase all that is to go back and be a child again, and we both know that isn't gonna happen." He held me a while and I kissed him. He was right, what was the point of me dwelling in it?
I looked at Gabrielle who was writing a scroll in the distance. Then I looked down at the arms that held me. I kissed the palms of his hands. "You're right." I said then I pulled his arms off me and stood. "I'll be right back."
I walked over to Gabrielle and sat next to her. She looked at me her green eyes dreamy, as they often got when the muses took hold of her, and smiled. "I think maybe I should leave or something." She said.
"Why?" I asked
"Because, I mean... I think it would be more fun for you that way." She said with a slight chuckle. I rolled my eyes and laughed with her. "Gods Xena I rode over here with you. I know how much you wanted to be alone with him. To love him so good and hard that he would think his head is going to explode. So much so that you'd ruin him for other women."
"Yeah well I'll live." I said, laughing at her well-put words. Then I looked over her shoulder at the parchment she was writing on. "What are you writing about?"
"Mhendi." She answered simply
"The Karmic Circle." I said with an understanding nod. She nodded back in acknowledgment. That had been one the most intense times in our lives together. It is some thing I always hoped never to forget. "I know that my way is of the warrior, but when there are days like these, I just wish it weren't that way."
"They don't know the new you Xena and when they hear of all the good you have done, they will never see you in the same light again." She said to me and I just nodded. I knew they were right, but I just couldn't shake that feeling.
I looked over at my husband whom was stretched out on a bedroll big enough for the both of us. I looked at Gabrielle and saw her immersed in her writing so I patted her back and shoulders as I said, "good night."
"Good night." Came the response as I stood and walked over to my bedroll. I climbed under the covers and snuggled up to Hercules.
We talked through the night and as soon as we saw Gabrielle asleep, He pinned me under him and covered my neck with soft butterfly kisses. "By the gods woman I want you." He said in a husky voice. I closed my eyes and move my head to the side and sighed in pleasure. His hands roamed over my body, and I could feel the blood rushing to the nerve endings where he had caressed me. He moved his hand to my back and pulled me up to a sitting position. He unlaced my Leather Dress and helped me pull it off. Mean while I unlaced his leather bindings and let his member free… running my hands over it, feeling the heat in my hands. He laid me down again parting my legs with his thighs and lowered himself on me and kissed my neck again. I turned my head and covered his lips with mine and deepened the kiss to match our passions.
His mouth then traveled to my breast and I bit back a groan. I closed my eyes and exhaled quietly as I could. He suckled at my breast and his hands caressed me all over. He went lower and lower on me enticing me. He came back and kissed my lips with an urgency that matched my own. "Please?" I asked in a whisper, " I need you inside."
He conceded, He wanted me urgently, but yet he restrained himself bound to torture me with pleasure. Slow long strokes that drove me insane. We matched each other's strokes fiercely and near the end we both closed our eyes fighting to hold on to control. "Oh for all that is holy." I said in a loud raspy whisper right before I felt his seed spill inside of me and therefore take me over the edge of ecstasy. We both bit back our release and held on to each other, in quiet abandon out of respect to Gabrielle.
I felt so safe in his arms that I could actually sleep. I'm always awake and aware, but with him I could always loose my self and dare to dream.
…The dream was in this meadow, with beautiful green hills. There was a light, it was kind of flowing in the wind. In a liquid voice it said, "Xena." Over and over again, tones just above a whisper.
"Who are you?" I asked, "what are you."
"I am your Dosha." It answered.
"My what?" I asked not understanding.
"I am your energy and your will. I have the power to do the impossible. I can make you young or old. I will make your desire a reality. India has enlightened your mind and showed you your way. But I will give you a chance to choose another path and bring you back... to the beginning."
"What are you talking about." I asked but all of the sudden I was enfolded in the Dosha's light. I felt energized and free for a moment and then the light was blinding.
… I woke up suddenly by a slight snore from Hercules. He felt so big next to me and I felt warm and protected. I could hear his heart pound and the strong muscles in his arm pillow my head. I listened to his heart until I fell asleep.
I woke up to my name being called. "Xena? Where the hell is she?" I heard Hercules say. I opened my eyes and sat up. Every thing looked huge! What's happening to me? This was all a dream yeah that could only be it. I thought
"Xena!" Gabrielle called
"Does she always run naked through the woods?" Hercules asked,
I'm right here, I thought, though, out loud all it was, was gibberish. The next time they called my name I managed to get out a grunt "Huh?"
"Xena!" they called together.
"HMM?" I tried louder. Hercules then came and lifted me into his arms. Please let this be a dream. I plead.
"Xena?" he asked again looking me over.
"Hmm?" I answered again. Suddenly my head felt so heavy so I lay my head on his shoulder.
"By the gods, It's her!" Gabrielle said looking at me as she stared into my eyes.
Finally I looked at my hand with five pudgy little fingers. I put one of my hands against Hercules' cheek and was surprised at how rough it felt.
"That's impossible." Hercules said.
"Look at the eyes, Look." Gabrielle said.
He looked at them. "She always did have the most amazing Baby blues. But it could be anyone."
"Well she does have a beauty mark Hercules." Gabrielle countered. "Check it out."
"You're right." Hercules said and looked at my right upper inner thigh where I had a heart shaped beauty mark. "There it is… Wait a minute. How did you know…"
"We better get her wrapped up." Gabrielle stopped his question and turned to get something to wrap me in.
I tried to speak again and all that came out was gibberish. Gabrielle couldn't help but giggle. Which made Hercules laugh, and after a moment of annoyance you could hear my childish giggle. What else could I do?
Gabrielle then took me in her arms and hugged me. "Ooh I have missed holding a baby. Though I admit I only got to hold mine for a day." She looked at me, and I glared at her. "O.K. I'm sorry Xena, I just can't help thinking about her."
"This is not a baby, this is my wife Gabrielle. We have to figure out how to get her back to normal." Hercules said.
"Yeah but just the same I missed it." She set me down on the grass and went making breakfast. I tried to stand and my legs were a bit weak but I stood. I took a step forward and stumbled to my knees. I guess there is no walking for me. I thought as I crawled my way out of the blanket I had been wrapped in and towards my armor.
As I reached towards my chakram Hercules picked it up and said, "I don't think so." I blinked a couple of times and I reached for my sword and he took that away too. "No way Xena, you'll get cut I don't care if you know how to use these.
I whined surprising my self with these childish inclinations, even though I knew what was going on. I figured I might as well concentrate on walking. I stood up again and started to take a step but fell back wards this time.
"Maybe we should stay here to figure out what did this." Gabrielle said from the ground where she stood. "I mean what ever or whoever did this could have something to do with the area you know?"
"You are right, but we should at least get her something to wear." Hercules agreed. "I think that if I go, I better take her with me."
"Ok I'll re-start the fire and catch some fish at the lake." Gabrielle answered.
Gabrielle and Hercules watched me fall at least 3 times before Gabrielle lifted me up and wrapped me up again. "Don't worry Xena you will get it next time." She said as she handed me to Hercules whom was already mounted on Argo. She smiled at me touching my foot, which was sticking out of the blanket. Hercules and I rode on back to Paramus to buy some new things for me.
"Oh how cute." I heard one woman say, "What's her name?"
"Xena…" Hercules answered.
"Why on earth would you name a child after that monster? She is so angelic." Those are the ones you should be the most careful about you old bitch I thought as I smiled at the old woman. "Although I must say that you looked like you were having a good time with her yesterday."
"That monster is my wife. Now give me what I need and I will be going," he said with a bit of rising anger. I kicked at Hercules' chest. I can't believe he is telling our secret to a total stranger. He gave me an "I'm sorry " look and shrugged.
The lady brought out a few pieces of clothing and diapers and such. The diapers were instantly placed on me. The material was very itchy and irritating. I fussed a lot with it while the woman brought out a few dresses. I looked at Hercules annoyed at having been put through this. He handed me to the woman so she would dress me, and she looked me over. As far as she knew I was my mother and she just had to know how the Warrior Princess treated her child.
There was no bruise or scratch on my body and my skin was incredibly soft. "It's as if you were born yesterday!" she said to me with a soft smile and dressed me. "Your mommy must take such good care of you, I didn't mean what I said before. She certainly doesn't look mean does she?" she said tickling my ribs lightly as she lifted me, and tossed me gently. I giggled out of childish duty then stuck my fist in my mouth and rolled my eyes.
The woman carried me back to Hercules, who smiled at seeing me. He lifted me into his arms, and kissed the top of my head. "Thank you" He said to her and headed back towards Argo. "You hungry?" he asked.
I thought you'd never ask, I thought as I nodded for him. He bought some cheese and handed me a small piece. I looked at it then at him and I put it in my mouth and suckled at it, thanks moron cheese very nice three teeth are all I have.
Finally we rode back to the campsite. Gabrielle was sitting on the fallen log mashing something, I guess, for me to eat. I was still sucking at the cheese I dropped it as soon as Argo stopped and babbled to get her attention. "Oh poor thing she must be hungry… Why does she smell like cheese?" She said when she took me from Hercules.
"Because that's what she was eating." He answered.
"Hercules, she doesn't have any teeth!" she place me down on a bedroll that was spread out.
"She's got three." He said and Gabrielle gave an exasperated sigh. I stood again and tried a few steps but I stumbled at Gabrielle's feet. She then took both my hands and walked me around the campsite. I giggled as she walked me around. She lifted me up by the arms and spun me around. Hercules sat by the fire looking in on soup that Gabrielle was preparing.
I don't remember ever having that much fun without having to be fighting.
Baby Talk
As we sat at dinner, Gabrielle and Hercules fed me each taking turns, till I finally decided I was gonna feed myself. "I wonder what could have happened" Hercules said. "How am I gonna get my wife back?"
"We'll figure it out." Gabrielle answered.
"Dosha." I said, my babyish voice making even my heart melt. But they ignored what I said. "Dosha, Dosha." I said standing in front of Hercules. Then I crawled to Gabrielle, and stood in front of her holding her face in my little hands "Dosha, Dosha." She lifted me into her arms and looked at me "what's a Dosha?" she asked me as if I could answer.
Thank the gods Gabrielle is so smart she will figure it out. I thought as she tried to figure out weather she had heard that before. "That word is definitely Indian." She said.
I nodded exaggeratedly mainly because my head was too heavy. "Indy Dosha"
"If she knows what did it maybe she can write, maybe, give her a loaded quill." He said. She sprang up and went to the saddlebags and took a quill and an empty parchment. She handed me the quill and laid the parchment out on the floor in front of me. I got on my knees I tried to maneuver the quill on the parchment. I got a few inkblots on the parchment and a lot of them in my hand. Now I understood why babies couldn't write not that they didn't know how, its that they couldn't.
I stuck my finger in the ink and started to write. "Engy Dosha." I said as I spelled out energy.
"What about energy? Hercules asked
I wrote: a Dosha is energy. It said it had the power to do the impossible.
"So what do we do?" Gabrielle asked. I shrugged at that didn't know what else to do.
"Should we go to India?" Hercules asked
"No Indy." I answered then I wrote: Maybe I should go to bed or something. If I sleep maybe the Dosha will visit again
"Makes sense to me." Gabrielle said
"That's my baby for you." Hercules said with a chuckle lifting me into his arms. "Come on let's go wash your hands." He took me to the lake and held me by the ankles, over the lake. I giggled and raised my hands up over my head and swished them around in the water. After a few seconds of that he held me close to him and helped me wash my hands.
Frustrations
I tried walking that night. I really couldn't sleep although I was tiered. I needed Hercules. Physically needed him and I couldn't have him. I needed to run I needed my sword something to take the edge off.
I watched he and Gabrielle spar a bit. Then when Gabrielle tiered and decided to go for a dip in the lake, Hercules stayed on shore and sparred with a tree. The poor tree didn't stand a chance. I watched him and I could feel my tiny heart pound. I needed to see everything in the eyes of a child yet I still responded to him in that way.
I needed to run and all I could do is sit. I stood up and started to take a step. I took the first step, and didn't fall. Out of my peripheral vision I could see Hercules stop fighting the tree and watch me. Gabrielle had started to wade out of the water and stopped. She was watching me take my second, then my third, which then felled me on my bottom.
I smiled in triumph, and tried over and over again, so that by the time it got dark I was already running up, down and around the campsite. At the end of the day I was so tiered I completely passed out when Hercules tucked me in.
… I was back to normal. I looked at my body and I was wearing my shift. I had breast, and hips. My hair was long again. I was glad that was all a dream. I stood up and walked toward the lake and into the water. I immersed my self into the cool water then as I resurfaced I noticed that I was alone. Hercules was gone and so was Gabrielle.
I looked around and started to call out for them, but a light caught my attention. The Dosha appeared in front of me the energy running right through me. This was my chance to ask what I she wanted of me.
"Xena I know what you want of me and the question in your mind. Your body is child like yet your mind knows all it knows. The only way to return to your Normal state is to understand and accept yourself. "
"But I have." I responded to her.
"You have not. You must see how others see you and…"
I awoke with a start. I had heard a low moan very low. It was distinctive because I had caused that moan to emerge before. Hercules lay next to me with his back to me. His muscles in his back twitched slightly and his breathing was fast and irregular, witch meant he was awake and it was no dream.
I stayed still and watched as his muscular arms moved in jerky movements. Eventually they moved faster and faster I blushed in realization. I heard my name whispered and I smiled slightly, at least he was lusting after me. He stiffened and stopped breathing, his muscles going into sporadic spasms. Then he sighed and moved onto his back. He looked at me and blushed furiously.
"I...uh… I... was just." He stammered and I broke out in babyish giggles. I moved and hugged him around the neck. Then I kissed his cheek. "I need a bath," he said, "and I need to wash my hands." He chuckled at that and I giggled. I kept my grip around him and as he tried to take my hands off of him. "I guess you wanna come too huh?" I nodded and he held on to me and walked with me to the lake.
He waded into the lake with me in his arms. I lay my head on his shoulders hearing his heart pound under my ears. It lulled me back to sleep, and I let it… I needed to know what the Dosha wanted of me.
…"And What?" I asked after I saw I was surrounded by the energy again.
"And allow yourself to let go and act as a child does. See as a child sees." I stood here staring at the blinding energy, like a deer caught in a fire. How the hell was I supposed to do that? " You just do." She answered my unanswered question. "You will see… Just let it go." Then she disappeared. I stood on the meadow and look down at my body and it all began to shrink.
Changes
I now recount the story for the Warrior Princess cannot remember her true re-birth. I am her Dosha. I know all that happened that time in which she saw the world again for the first time.
… Xena woke up startled and looked around with wide eyes. It was morning and Gabrielle was by the fire making a morning tea. Hercules sat across from her, talking and laughing with her. Xena stirred and stood up and toddled to Gabrielle as she heard Hercules say, "Iolaus was hanging by the vest held by the phoenix because he had the chalice…" he trailed off as he saw me.
Xena laid her head on Gabrielle's lap she was still sleepy and disconnected. "Good morning Xena!" she said as she lifted the child onto her lap.
"Mamma." The warrior Princess said softly as she curled up. Gabrielle had a stunned look on her face and she held her tighter to her bosom. The child sucked her finger and looked across the fire at her husband. All feelings she had for him the night before were gone, she felt as if she were looking at every thing for the very first time. The big flat world of men.
"What did you call me that? You wanna write for me?" Xena shook her head and just curled up in her embrace. "Really Xena, How am I supposed to help you if I you don't tell me how?" They looked at the baby expectantly and all she could do was close her eyes and suck her thumb.
"Something is different." Hercules said looking Xena over. "She has the eyes of an innocent."
"We can't count on you for help now can we?" Gabrielle said to the babe in her arms then tickled her ribs. Young Xena giggled and wiggled from her grasp. She ran off with the both of them chasing her and suddenly she got taller and faster. She was still a child, but about one summer old now.
They stopped and looked at her and Hercules lifted the child into his arms. "That's it!"
"What's it?" Gabrielle quirked a brow at Hercules.
"The world through the eyes of a child… she grew because she let go of what plagued her… She played as a child, plays." He answered her.
"We have to let her see the world! She will choose her way." Gabrielle said finally "Let's pack. I've got an idea"
They set her down and started to pack quickly. Gabrielle explained her Idea to Hercules and he smiled as she told it. Xena played under Argo and nuzzled the beautiful creature when she bent her head toward her. "Petty Agoo." Xena cooed at her. Argo nickered at the child as she petted her broad nose.
Pretty soon they were off. Xena and Gabrielle on Argo's back and Hercules leading them toward the north. It took 3 days for them to reach their destination. Each time stopping at neighboring villages.
On e particular stay was in Stagira. As the trio walked into the village gates with their mount trailing behind, they played with young Xena and headed for the stables. Xena was toddling easily now. She appeared to be one and a half summers old, and she was more talkative than when she was a woman. Gabrielle enjoyed the chatter and loved relating her stories to the child.
"And Xena danced and danced all night showing the elders that every one could be free, and the Muse's would not punish them." she said to the child as she carried her out of the stables nuzzling her. The child giggled then laid her head on her shoulder.
"Do you think this is a good place to bring Xena?" Hercules asked walking next to them.
" It is if people still remember her and have changed their minds about her by the stories I will tell." Gabrielle answered Hercules and kissed the top of Xena's head. She placed the child down to walk and each of them took a hand. The three walked into the in.
People stopped and looked at the child. Couldn't help but stop and play with her a bit. She was passed from arm to arm. "Your daughter is beautiful. What's her name?" One woman asked. This gave Gabrielle the excellent opening to get started on her plan.
"Xena." She answered the woman. "And she is not my daughter." She added. The woman looked at the child then back at Gabrielle. "Is something the matter?" she asked her.
"No, It's just the name. We knew of a Xena that destroyed our village avenging her own village's destruction."
"Well I know that Xena, She is my best friend, I could tell you tales that will win your heart." Gabrielle told her tales and suddenly there was a crowd around the woman and child. Xena's limbs began to grow again as with a child's eyes she saw what people thought of her and understood she was not quite so hated. No one noticed, she was now about the size of a child with two summers under her belt.
The next morning the three of them set out to their destination. "It isn't much further, we will be there by midday." Hercules said to reassure the child who was squirming in her seat.
"Want Down!" the child said whining restlessly
"Xena you are acting like a child!" Hercules said harshly which made the child cry.
"She is a child Hercules." Gabrielle said trying to hold on to the squirming child. Hercules sighed and looked apologetic. "Surely you haven't forgotten how children this age can be." Gabrielle added.
"No I haven't and now I never will." He said looking at his beloved, Xena's eyes were tearing and she was pulling on her ear. "Uh oh... I know what that means." He said reaching for the child. He put his lips on her forehead and felt her hot but not yet too feverish. "We have to hurry." They continued walking on.
Finally they reached their destination. Someone saw them approaching and ran to the Inn. Spring time Preparations were being made for the Harvest Festivals. Children whom were running around the cobblestone walkways stopped to stare at Xena's friend, the baby, and the tall man.
"Gabrielle!" A woman d' moyen age, ran out to greet the two. "Hercules! Hi good to see you!" She hugged them both. "You too Argo." She added petting the horse leading them all to the barn. "Who have we here?" She said finally noticing the child asleep in Hercules' arms, then another thought occurred to her. "Where is Xena? Is she alright?" she hadn't let any of them speak, but now she waited for answers.
"Yes Cyrene she is fine... She is a little feverish though." Gabrielle said, "this is Xena." Gabrielle added noting the confusion in her eyes. Seeing it not resolved she sighed and walked her into the inn explaining what had happened.
"This is going to be a long visit." Hercules said to the sleeping child in his arms and left Argo to be tended to.
Home Again
I think I can take over from here… It all comes into focus now.
When I awoke I found myself in my old bed, although I didn't know it. Wrapped in my own soft blanket. Then I began to remember, and I grew again. As I walked down the stairs to the dining area my steps were less toddling. I was a child of 4 summers. "Mommy." I said as I walked down the stairs. "Mammar" I heard a bit of shuffling towards the stairs. I coughed softly as I walked the rest of the way down and I saw Gabrielle coming towards me. "Where's Mammar?" I asked her as she took my hand and walked me towards the kitchen.
"She's in the kitchen." She said to me her voice a bit dejected. I guessed then that I had been calling her mamma all along. I wrapped my arms around her leg as she led me to my mother. She smiled down at me and lifted me into her arms.
I saw mother at the counter serving a drink to Lokuetus the head of the small army and remembered it was me who had made him necessary. I curled up in Gabrielle's arms and looked away. "Oh look who's up!" Mother said and came to me holding out her arms went to her and she hugged me tightly. "I miss doing this a lot."
"Xena Finally gave you a granddaughter eh Cyrene?" A woman said from around a table far away. "She's just like her she is gonna drive the boys wild." The woman continued unaware that I was getting heavier in my mother's arms.
I know what part of me they saw. This was a young woman that was around my natural age. She was a bit of an ugly duckling as we grew up and was always a jealous of me. Especially when I developed. I did it slower than she did but when I did, all the attentions turned to me. I relished it. And that is what made me learn the art of seduction.
Tzeitel, the young woman, walked towards my mother and I. My features turned from those of a 4 summers old child to that of 5. "Aw, she's cute, Hi little girl, where is your mommy." She said to me, and even though I didn't feel any of the resentment that I would have felt if I remembered clearly, I knew I didn't like her.
I looked away from her and to my mother's eyes and said, "I'm hungry Mammar."
"Alright then Xena, what would you like?"
"Well isn't that special she named her kid after her self." Tzeitel said and turned only to find Hercules behind her. "Well hello Hercules." Hercules smiled his handsome smile and moved past her. She stopped him grabbing his arm. "Where are you going? I want to know every thing about you."
"Daddy!" I said from the counter, I had to have the pleasure of seeing her face drop.
"Hey sweet heart." He said as he walked towards me. I hugged him and said
" I don't like her daddy she is weird." I whispered a loud child like whisper. He nodded and smiled at me."
"You ready for the spring celebration?" he asked.
"Yeah! Can I go outside?" I asked and didn't wait for an answer I was outside running to my favorite spots as a child. I ran to my favorite tree, It had grown too tall for me to climb yet. I sighed softly, and dragged my feet back to the inn.
On my way back I saw a group of boys playing. I ran over to them but they were all bigger than I was. I remember how it used to be when I was their age, and how much I had to work to be accepted by the boys. I stopped and watched and I grew again. Now I was their age, a whole of 8 summers old. "Hey boys!" I said to them "can I play?"
"No Way! You're a girl." They answered with sneers on their faces.
"So? I can beat you all up." I said to them and remembered the whole reason why I had been turned into a child so I frowned and walked away. "Never mind." I walked back inside the Inn and turned quite a few heads.
"Mammar." I said, "what are these things like? What are the right things to do?" I asked, I never did the right things. At least not the thing girls did. I guess I thought it should be different this time around.
"Well…" Mother started, "you remember some things don't you? Well maybe not" She said patting my head and turned around to face Hercules. "She was always around the boys, being rowdy, and getting drunk." she stated. I blushed and covered my face. When I removed my hands from it mother grimaced. "Gods they grow so fast."
I looked at myself in the reflection of the window I was now about 10 summers old. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at them "So, when does this get going, I must get rowdy and drunk."
Gabrielle looked at me and shook her head. " She was so much cuter when she was a baby." We laughed at that then she said. "Come on I'll tell the children a story." She took my hand and ushered me out of the room heading for where all the children were gathered. As soon as they saw Gabrielle and I seated children rushed over and started asking her for stories of our adventures together. "All right, All right I'm gonna tell the story of when I first came to Amphipolis. I call it 'Sins of the past.' " She said and recounted the tale of me saving her from slavery and saving the people of Amphipolis from Draco.
She held the children Spell bound I watched them, their faces their eyes. I had seen this before but I never paid attention to what people thought of me. The new me. It didn't matter what I had done before. I grew again I felt and saw it then I saw the fear grow in the children's eyes. I now had the visage of a 13 summers old child, My breast had sprouted so had my hips, and oh yes of course I felt a wetness on my inner thigh. I was bleeding. Like growing this fast wasn't bad enough.
Gabrielle watched me stiffen and moved closer to the children. "I want you guys to do me a favor." When the children leaned closer. " Want you to help Xena… I think you guys are the only ones brave enough to help her" she said
"How?" The little boy I had tried to play with earlier asked.
"You have to show her how great it is for her to be the way she was." Gabrielle started then she told them what had happened to me and they stared at me with wide eyes.
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?" The boy turned to me; "we woulda played with you." I shrugged indifferently. "Tell us another story Gabrielle." He asked, the children cheered and so she started recounting her Bacchi story. I watched their reactions but it didn't do much for me so I stood and walked back into the inn and to the bathhouse I needed to clean myself. Blood was running down my legs.
As I undressed I looked at myself in the mirror I ran my hands through my hair and was about to step into the tub when the door opened. "Xena? Are you ok?" I heard Hercules' voice come from the door way My body churned inside " Where are you, what happened? Why are you bleeding" I watched my breast grow larger and my hips wider I stopped bleeding.
"I'm in here," I answered my voice much older than it had been only moments ago, yet not old enough; I was 15 in body.
" Can I come in?" he asked already his voice was closer.
" Yeah." I answered he walked in the room and regarded me with a surprised look on his face. "What?"
" I think I should go." He said turning away from me. I found myself very insecure.
Why doesn't he want to look at me? Am I that ugly to him? I wondered to myself and swallowed slightly and stepped into the tub. " You can turn around now I'm in the tub."
He noted the tone of my voice and turned to face me. " Is something wrong?" he asked, I shrugged and moved to hug my knees close to my chest. " You were born gorgeous." He said to me taking the soap and soaping my back. I looked up at him and moved to kiss him, he pulled away from me and I felt incredibly tearful. The adolescent insecurities I had never had the chance to feel the first time rushed at me at one time.
I swallowed back some tears I think then was when I decided I was better the way I had been. I took a deep breath and looked back at him. He was looking everywhere but at me. "Look at me." I said softly. "Look at me Hercules." He looked over at me and I stood for him "Is there something wrong with me?" It was his turn to swallow. I took his hand and placed it on my thigh and moved it up to my breast. "Don't you want me?" I asked looking into his eyes.
He pinched at my nipple as I moved closer to him and rested his head on my abdomen. " So young." He mumbled onto my skin.
I kneeled down in front of him and kissed him softly. " How many times have I heard you say that I was your wife not a child. I'm here now... take me." I whispered softly to him and started to remove his shirt. " Join me?" I asked immersing myself in the tub of luke-warm water.
I watched as he undressed and climbed into the tub with me. He came to me and kissed me gently letting his hands explore my body. He moves his hand between my legs and looked up at me. " Who says you only loose your virginity once?" I smirked and wrapped my legs around his waist and moved so that I was on top. I needed him too much to waste anymore time.
I kissed him, positioning my self over his erect shaft. Slowly I came down wincing in pain and crying out in pleasure. He moaned under me moving his hips ever so slightly. I moved slowly at first throwing my head back as I went. Then I increased my speed at times that I thought I could take no more.
"Xena?" I heard mother say as she walked into the bathhouse. I froze and looked behind me. My mother stood there stunned at my compromising position. My body was still quite a bit younger than what I really was. She blanched and said. "The children were looking for you." She said. I climbed off of Hercules and moved off to one side of the tub. I whimpered and saw traces of blood in the water. I was in pain. I hadn't grown. I still looked 15, I still felt 15. I didn't want to be 15 anymore. Mother walked out of the room and Hercules and I just looked at each other for a few minutes.
"We really shouldn't have." He said to me looking down at the water. " I better go." He stood and got out of the tub. I watched him dress he was still aroused, his manhood still swollen. I adverted my eyes and stepped out of the tub and limped towards my clothes. He left me alone to dress. It took a while for to get used to moving with this pain. I remembered the first time it had happened, it wasn't quite as special as this, even though Hercules and I hadn't finished. At least I knew he loved me.
I remembered that it was Cortese who had taken it from me the first time. He had picked me from the crowd because I was one of the leaders from the village. "Little girl, so sweet," He said touching my face. I jerked away from him and he grabbed me by the hair and pulled my head back hard, pulling me close to him. I could feel his hardness against my abdomen. And smell his putrid breath in the depths of my soul. My hands were tied behind my back and had my legs tied to wooden planks so that I couldn't kick. He invaded my mouth pushing his foul tongue into it. I bit at him and he threw me down onto his bedrolls.
He slapped me hard I closed my eyes and knew it was useless to fight him. He untied my legs from the planks and he said. "Try anything girl, and you are dead." I looked at him my eyes glazing over and as he raped me my rage grew and grew inside me. I stared at him and remembered him, and still now I never have forgotten his face.
I felt myself grow, I looked at my reflection and I watched my face grow darker and sinister, it was my face of pure evil. It was the time when I was only 17, and more bitter than an abandoned wife with 10 children.
I could never change. I went to the door still limping a bit from the pain between my legs. The harvest Festival was at it's full swing The Inn was packed. I reached for a mug of mother's sweet Ale and headed for the door to watch every thing. In the distance I could see Tzeitel in the woman's dance. In which they eventually got to choose whom to take home with them. It didn't matter weather they were yours or any ones husband; you chose who was most desirable for you at the moment. It came from the ancient traditions before civilizations. Hercules sat with mother and looked preoccupied with something. Tzeitel tried so hard to catch his attention. I poured out my mug of Ale and walked towards the fire.
Young men, around the age of 17, looked at me and headed near the fire following me to it. I paid them no attention and started to dance circles around Tzeitel. "I'm back!" I said to her
"Oh no you don't, he's mine." She said pushing me aside.
"As you wish, but it is he that gets to choose now." I said turning around and walking away from the fire. I could feel Hercules watch me walk away towards the Inn. When I turned at the door he was running towards me and there was a shocked look in Tzeitel's face. I turned back and walked into the crowded inn, then led Hercules up to my room.
Good Bye Again
We finished what we had started in the bathhouse. He ravished me slowly and so sweetly. At the end the full intensity of our release threw me into my full growth. I was back to normal and I felt myself fitting more comfortably and familiarly in his arms. Clenching him close to me never wanting to let him go.
We held each other listening to the festivities below us. "Welcome back." He said to me softly.
"Glad to be back" I said and then I kissed him. We held each other close and drifted off to sleep listening to the throbbing drums of our hearts.
… Again I was outside, and the light, that light. The Dosha appeared to me. She was me, long flowing raven hair and dazzling blue eyes, her high cheekbones and regal brow line. Gods I am beautiful.
"You see… there are things that make you who you are and if you change them you are no longer you."
"You speak in riddles. But I understand what you mean. What was the point to all of this."
"This is to show you and remind you the pain of growth. And you know now that being a child again has its disadvantages." She smiled at me, I returned the smile…
… I woke up to a slight suckle of my breast. I opened my eyes to find my husband watching me as if he hadn't seen me for a while. And I guess he really hadn't. He kissed me softly and held me there in his arms. We were silent for the most part.
There was a knock on the door. "Xena, Hercules? There are some people here to see you." I t was my mother's voice. I stood up and reached for my shift. I dressed in it and waited for Hercules to put on his pants.
I ran my fingers through my hair and ascended the stairs. "Hower?" I said as I reached the bottom stair
"Xena !" Iolaus, the jester, interjected before Hower could say any thing. "Hercules, Where is he?" Just then Hercules' bare feet hit the floor behind me. "Hercules! The empress has escaped the other realm." I raised a brow and looked at Hercules who was behind me.
"ah, long story." He said to me and kissed me softly and headed back up the stairs. I watched him go then glared at Iolaus. I turned then to Hower and Gabrielle who were talking and neared them.
Gabrielle smiled and looked at me saying. "Oh Xena you're gonna love this…"