That night, instead of crying and waking up after a bad nightmare in a sweat, Katie had her head in the toilet, throwing up all night. She didn't know how Susie put up with her, she must have been so tired, she hadn't slept since Katie had arrived, but she was right next to her all night. Katie knew Susie would always be right next to her.
When Katie finally got her head out of the toilet, Susie forced her to have a shower, but when she was in the shower, she nearly fainted. Then she stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around her, crouched down, and threw up again.
At about 6am, Susie finally got up and left Katie's side to go in early to work, because she had a lot of paperwork to catch up on. Susie didn't want to leave, but she had to go sometime. She left Katie in her own bed, tucked in warmly so that not an ounce of cold would touch her.

Katie fell asleep, and stayed asleep until about 10:30, when someone knocked on the door.
She got up and opened the door, but when she saw the person that stood at the door, she immediately let her guard down. It was Tess. She flung herself upon Katie, and embraced her like nothing else. When they finally let go of each other, Tess stared into Katie's eyes.

"Oh, look at you honey. You look so pale. You are really thin and you look so sick." Tess commented.

"Oh, thanks a lot there" Katie joked with tears in her eyes. "Really comforting you are Tess"

Tess just laughed.

She stepped into Susie's room at asked, "So, how are you? How are you holding up?" Katie just shrugged and smiled. After a minutes contemplation of what she could possibly say, she just said

"Yeah, OK. I think I'm getting on fine."

They talked for the next half hour, when Tess offered to take her down the station. "Yeah, I might take you up on that offer. Suse said to come down when I was up and ready. Do you know where it is?" she gushed.

"Yeah, I got that part downpat. I just haven't worked out what I should say to them all, that is, the ones that I know" Tess confided.

"Oh, don't worry, they are all really great about this whole thing. Even the new ones don't seem to be pushing their luck talking about Jo."

That was the first time that her name was mentioned in their conversation, and when it was said, Tess just hugged Katie again. Then they left.

Tess pulled up to the new station, and when Katie and her got out of the car and entered the station, they were greeted with a warm reception.

"Tess" Jonesy exclaimed while running up to her and hugging her.

"How are you?"

"Oh, you know, this and that get mixed together. How are you?"

Tom came out of his office, looking to see what the ruckus was all about, and instead was greeted with a huge grin from Tess. As all the old members of the station were talking and catching up, Susie walked up to Katie and asked how she slept.
"Yeah, pretty good. But, oh, Susie, I'm not trying to reject you or anything, but you haven't slept in ages, since I got here, and I talked to PJ yesterday, and he said I can stay there. I feel so quilty, and Jo wouldn't have wanted her best friend to be tired at her funeral, especially on account of her sister. I know we don't know what Jo wanted, but I know at least that" Katie told her
Susie looked a little upset, probably because she needed the company, especially when she was missing Jo so much, because she apparently broke down at work the day before, but she also looked relieved that Katie wouldn't be in her hair, or be her responsibility. With that, Katie walked out of the station and into the winter's sun.

The day passed so quickly, not just for Katie, for everyone, PJ, Tom, Susie, Evan, the newbies. One minute Katie was telling Susie that she was staying at PJ's and the next she was going home in his detective car.
"Do you miss her Peej?" she asked. PJ seemed to consider the question for a while, as if treading lightly, but when he answered, it was anything but.

"Yes, I miss her with all my heart. She died thinking I didn't love her and that I didn't want to get married and have kids, but the truth is that I did. I should have told her all the time, but I didn't, and I regret it. I wish that she knew that."

He looked a bit uncomfortable, so Katie decided not to persue it, but PJ wanted to.

"I haven't seen you for a while, have you coped all right?"

Katie shuffled in her seat, and wiped the hair out of her eyes.

"What didn't Suse tell you?"

He looked puzzled, "No, what didn't she tell me?"

Katie looked a bit uncomfortable, she had to admit up to all the stupid things she did! "Um, well, my whole running away fiasco, breaking into the station, waking up from a nightmare in a sweat, screaming in my sleep, crying all night, vomiting all night, just everything that has happened. I can't concentrate, I am writing something to say tomorrow, but I can't do it, it is way too hard to do, you know?"

PJ looked at her while he stopped for a give way sign, and said with a hint of humour, "So, not too well then?"

Katie just rested her head in her hands, and was breathing very heavily, until she looked up, tears in here eyes and said, "How will I cope tomorrow Peej?"

He took in a deep breath. "You remember, I told you I will always hold you up, and Suse will always be right next to you. I know that she promised you that. Everyone from the station will be."

"Thanks Peej, you can always make me feel better" she said, with a hint of the first smile that had appeared on her face in days shining through.
PJ's house was so empty, Ben was at the pub, and Jo obviously wasn't there. Only Katie and PJ.

Katie was constantly haunted by nightmares, like where she is at the funeral parlour, walking towards a white coffin. She looked in and there is Jo, lying there, with her shiny face, and a hint of a smile, but she was so bruised and battered. She was wearing PJ's engagement ring. She just stood there, staring at Jo.

Then Katie woke up, and realised that she would never see Jo like that, because some thoughtless and heartless person blew her up into a million smithereens, and she could never see her at peace like in her dreams. Jo couldn't get cremated, like she had always told Katie she wanted, and her ashes could never be kept in an urn in pride of place in someone's home, or scattered over Jo's most loved areas of the earth. She was already a million little meaningless pieces in a rubble.
Katie woke up at about midnight, and decided to sneak out and walk around for a while, just to clear her head. She slowly got up, but as she did, the sofa squeaked, and PJ turned over and groaned in the next room.

Her eyes shot over to the door, in deep panic, and expected PJ to walk through it, but he never came, so she kept moving. She opened the door, but as it opened, it painfully squeaked again, but she only opened it so she could just fit out.

When she got out of the house, she breathed in the nights air, and felt the cold creep over her skin, and she saw the moon shining through the clouds, and she knew that she was alive.
She prowled through Mount Thomas, like a wild cat, and eventually found herself lying on a bench at the park. She lay there until she found herself, but then she got so angry that Jo was dead, and she started ripping out the tufts of grass and kicking over the flowers. Then she felt something float around her and warm her up, but she looked around and no one was there. The wind blew in the trees, and the moon came out from behind the clouds.

Then, as though the trees were talking to her, she heard a whisper. It sounded so far away, and it seemed to be getting further away every moment.

"Katie" it said, "I love you."

Then the voice stopped, the moon went behind the clouds, the wind stopped and the cold filled her body and chilled it like ice. She shivered, then ran all the way back to the house. As she went in the house, she took one final look outside, glanced over her shoulder, took in the sights and fresh air, and she finally understood.