Chapter 60 Stag, Doe and Dog

Harry found himself walking through a gently rolling meadow with cool deep woods off to his left, and running out of the woods cutting across the field was a deep, narrow stream, a bit too broad to jump across, even at a run. It was sunny and just being there made him feel exuberant. Crossing the stream was an arched wooden bridge – simple, yet stylish, rather like the Japanese bridges. Lying on the stream bank, near the bridge abutment on the near side, was Madame Maxime's body. Harry knelt to check her, but her body just twitched and shivered, as it had in the forest. Across the bridge, Harry saw a large stag, and a doe, and a huge black dog. He knew that black dog: it was Sirius. He knew at once who the others must be. He laughed and cried for joy at being so close to them.

As Harry came around the abutment, never taking his eyes off of them, they looked up, and changed into the human form of his parents and Sirius. His parents appeared not much older than him, and Sirius was not the gaunt specter Harry had known in the flesh but a strong, handsome young man. All three could have stepped out of the photographs Hagrid had collected for Harry. Harry felt that this was it – the place he was meant to be, the place that he belonged, where he could at last find peace and happiness. Harry began running around the railing to get to them. He had just placed a foot on the near side of the bridge, when his father held his hands up.

"Stop, Harry!" his father shouted. "There's no turning back once you come over. It's not your time to cross. But we have some things to tell you."

Harry stopped, bewildered. "But … but, I've always wanted to have you with me, and now you're so near."

"Harry," his mother said affectionately, "you love the idea of having parents. Anyone would. And you want to have that connection with your past, with your humanity even. But you never knew us, you barely knew Sirius really. There are others, still alive, that have been more than willing to love you like a son and a brother."

Harry's mind turned to the Weasleys, and Dumbledore, Hagrid and Professor McGonagall. Even Lupin, Tonks and Moody. They all had looked out for him and shown real care and affection for him. But …

"But it's not the same as having your own parents."

"No, son," his father said sadly. "It's not. And it's not fair. You know we would have been there with you if we could. But there are millions of people who grow up without their parents: sometimes death takes them, sometimes parents have their own problems that separate them from their children."

"Aye," added Sirius sadly to this, closing his eyes at the thought of his own estrangement from his parents.

Harry's mother explained, "Life is often not fair. But you have choices as to what you make of your life. And if you choose to cross this bridge now to be with us, there will be many, many more children who lose their parents. Do what you can. Let the people who love you do so. And be loving to all – hatred, blame and anger only lead to self destruction."

Harry nodded. Then he asked, "But what can I do? It seems like from the moment I learned I'm a wizard, I've been battling Voldemort. I don't run from him now - we fight each other to a draw. We see into each other's minds and know before the other acts what to do."

Sirius spoke up first: "Think, Harry, darkness is not vanquished by darkness, but by light."

The bridge began to get longer, and the stream was widening. Harry's parents and Sirius were retreating with the opposite bank. His mother called across to him, "Consider the Parable of the Cave."

Sirius shouted, "We'll be here for you when your time comes."

And finally, his father added, "We're so proud of you, Harry."

Harry removed his foot from the bridge and it crumbled away. In the distance Harry saw them wave, just before they changed back into the stag, the doe and the dog, gamboling about the meadow.

Harry felt a weight on one shoulder. He looked and saw an enormous hand, delicate in its own way, with large opal rings on the fingers. It was Madame Maxime; she had waked while Harry talked.

She spoke much more gently than he had previously known her to. "Harree, it ees time we retairned. People you knew?"

Harry nodded. "Sort of. My parents – you know about their deaths, I'm sure – and Sirius Black. He was my godfather. He died two years ago."

Maxime nodded in return, and began steering him back in the direction he had come from. "Yes, Hagreed told me about that. He cried for you; he is such a dear. He loves you very much. Thank you for what you have done for me, healing me. It vos very brave and generous."

Harry blushed a bit. "Oh, well, it's just what I could do."

"But no one else can do it. How long have you been doing zis healing?"

"I just discovered it after the battle, only about half an hour before I started healing you. As I look back, I can see little signs, but it took focusing on the injuries of someone I love to make it come out strong."

Then sounding like the headmistress she was, Maxime explained, "Yas, focus is ze key to powerful mageek – ze Patronus, Transfiguration, ze Summoning Charm, Apparation - all of zem zat are deep. Zat is vot makes ze Unforgiveable curses so unforgiveable – zair are other vays to kill, or hurt, or control people. But ze Unforgiveables involve a total focus on overcoming and destroying a person. Very sad zat anyone should ever feel zat vay. Inhuman."

She shook her head, then continued, "Do you just think of healing, or is zair something else."

"Healing is a part of it." Harry hesitated, and then figured it was either a dream, where it wouldn't matter, or their souls were indeed in touch, and you ought to be able to say anything to someone you meet like that, and Harry felt a deep desire to tell someone how much it cost him to heal others. "I really have to find love for that person deep enough that I desire to take the injury from them and into my own body."

She nodded, and then asked sympathetically, "And do you feel ze injury as well?"

Tears welled in Harry's eyes and he nodded.

She looked sadly at him. "Vith all of zat pain?"

Harry's shoulders shook, and his lips quivered, and he nodded and bowed his head. Maxime bent down and wrapped her arms around him, picking him up and hugging him into her bosom like a mother with a toddler who had skinned his knee – surprisingly gently for such a thorough hug from such an enormous woman.

"Oh you dear, sweet, amazing boy. I knew how valiant you vere ven you saved Fleur's sister. But zis? How could you do zis - for me?"

Harry had no answer, and no answer was needed. He cried into her massive shoulder for half a minute and then she put him down, and they continued on their way back.

"Do ze uzzers know ze price you pay, ze pain you feel."

"No, they don't. Hermione suspects it. She knows I take the injury, but I don't know if she understands the pain. She tried to ask but I put her off. She might have feared to ask me to heal others, and it's those with the worst injuries who need me. The others only know that they feel tired while I'm healing – I think I'm drawing strength from them. I think this magic draws healing to me as I need, just as I can give it to others."

Harry paused and then added, "She tried to stop me from healing you, you know. She was concerned about you, but she turned white when she thought I would take all the injury you had into my body."

"I understand. I do not blame her. I vould feel ze same vay for someone I love. She loves you, no?"

"Yes. Yes, she does. Only as a friend, or a brother, but in that way, I know it's as total a love as is possible."

"Have you tried for ze romance?"

"Not with her. I've had a few relationships. I thought I had something this year that was the real thing, but I learned it was just part of the battle plan."

"Oh, really?"

"Surely you knew - you were in on the plan, weren't you?"

"I knew some things, not all, like how ze dementors vere to be disabled."

"Well, they needed someone to keep me stable so they had Ginny Weasley pose as my girlfriend."

"Still, Harree, maybe she vos villing because she vanted to be zat way with you, or maybe something has grown?"

Harry nodded. "I doubt it. Everything seemed quite coldly calculated."

"Were zose messages from your parents and Black about facing Voldemort?"

"Yes, but I'm not quite sure what they mean. Do you know what the Parable of the Cave is?"

"No, I think zat is from ze muggles – your mother vos muggle-born, no? Ve learn too little about muggle culture."

"Yeah, but then I was raised by muggles and I have no clue. We're almost back. I'll need to get on with healing. There are others in grave condition. I'd like you and Hagrid to help me."

"Of course ve vill – how could ve refuse anything?"

"Also, can you keep all of this discussion a total secret, even from Hagrid?"

"Yes, for a vile at least. I think he vill soon ask me to marry, and I think I vill say yes. And ze only secrets a married couple should have," Maxime said with a knowing smile and wink, "are ze special plans zey have for each uzzer in zair intimate times. Little surprises are very important zair."

Harry blushed and laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. Is this just a dream or are we really speaking?"

"If I told you here, it could just be a part of the dream. You vill know if you hear me use the word 'goat' after ve vake up, yes?"

"Why 'goat'?"

"Zair ees not much cause to say it uzzerwise, ees zair?"

And they had arrived back at the glade. Everyone but Hagrid was unconscious;

Hagrid was clutching both of them by the shoulders and bawling.

Maxime shook her head and smiled towards Hagrid. "I love a man who can love so deeply." She hugged Harry again. "And zat goes for you, too, Harree."

Then Maxime returned to her body.

Harry returned to his body and all the pain returned. He thrashed in agony. Even Hagrid, who stopped bawling when he felt movement, could barely hold on to him. Then the pain eased. Harry blinked his eyes – they had been open this whole time and were quite dry - and breathed deeply.

Hagrid asked, "Harry, what happened? I thought I'd lost yeh."

Harry smiled. "It's okay now, Hagrid – look!"

Maxime had opened her eyes and smiled. Hagrid gasped. He lifted Harry to the side and then grabbed Maxime and kissed her all about the face, lifting her up and dancing with her and kissing her more, quite scratching her face up with his steel wool beard.

Maxime laughed and hugged him. "Oh, get off, you old goat."

Harry had been laughing and watching them generally, but on hearing her call Hagrid a goat, his eyes snapped to her face, poking over Hagrid's shoulder as they hugged each other. She winked at Harry and gave a little nod. Then Harry knew that not only had it been Maxime he had talked to, but his parents and Sirius as well. That knowledge made him feel warm in itself, but now it was all the more important that he figure out what they were telling him.

Ron, Ginny and Hermione woke, looking very well rested. Ginny and Hermione stretched like they had taken a nice late afternoon nap. Ron sat up, noticed a spider that had crawled onto him, and started gently playing with it, letting it crawl up and down his arms.

Hermione was beyond shocked to see this. "Ron, what are you doing? You loathe spiders."

"I know. I do, or at least I thought I did, but I saw this little fella on me, and it seemed kind of … cute. Look at the cool way it crawls. I can't believe I never noticed how fascinating they can be."

Hermione and Harry both looked at him, and then at each other, puzzled: what could have changed something so deep in him? He had fled from the north battlefield in his terror at spiders and required a potion to get back to the south battlefield, yet here he was playing with one.

"Are all of you okay?" Harry asked. Seeing that they were, he continued, "If you lot are fine now, I need to ask something – do any of you know the Parable of the Cave?"

It was no surprise that it was Hermione who spoke up.

"Isn't this a curious time to discuss philosophy?" she asked.

"I'm trying to broaden my education," said Harry, with a touch of sarcasm. "Really, I have reason to ask."

"Well, there are actually two versions in popular culture. One says that we only see things as tenuous images of their real nature, like shadows cast on a cave wall by some object nearer the mouth. It's the Platonic concept of the eternal Ideas – there is an Ideal Rock or Tree, but all the rocks and trees we see in real life are just poor approximations of the perfect Form."

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hagrid looked at Hermione like she was daft. Even the birds seemed to have gone silent. Maxime was rather more amused at the others' reactions.

"Well, who knows?" said Harry after several seconds. "That might be what I'm looking for, but humor me – what's the other version?"

"The second is an allegory about learning, comparing an ignorant person to someone who has been living in a deep cave for a very long time. The long time in the darkness makes him unable to tolerate light. Education was bringing him into the light, toward the entrance. You can bring the person slowly toward the light and his eyes will adjust and grow to accept light again. But if you drag him out immediately into full light, the glare is too much for him and he will not be able to see anything. In fact, they are really different lessons from the same story, as we are all supposed to be mired in the shadow images of the physical world and in need of enlightenment so as to perceive the ultimate reality."

"Hmm. Okay then, I can make some use of the second part – too much light blinds someone who has lived in darkness," said Harry. "I can see that as useful – there may be a plan that can come out of that. I know the first step anyway and I'll piece together the rest as I keep healing. If it looks do-able, I'll go ahead with those that want to join me. If not I'll have to start over. I need you people to do some things while I'm at it. If I can put it all together, we'll want to act right away."

They all nodded.

"First, keep it quiet about me working on a plan. All most people need to know is that Harry and Ron are okay and Voldemort escaped from me. Hey, I like the sound of that – 'Voldemort escaped from Harry,' not the other way around. Anyway, Hagrid, Hermione and Madame Maxime – help me out here, finding those who need help. Ginny and Ron, I need you to find Tonks and send her to me ASAP. I need her help particularly."

Ron nodded and said, "Right, mate, how will she know how to find you?"

Harry glanced first at Hagrid and then at Maxime, then back to Ron. "Well, duh!"

"Oh, right, this team won't be hard to spot."

"But it is a big battlefield – we'll be working our way south. She ought to be able to apparate to us guiding on my wands. Next, find me at least ten people with top-notch Patronuses and nerves of steel. They should also be comfortable on a broom. More if you can get 'em. Remus, if he's up for it –"

"You know he will be if we say it's for you," said Ginny.

"I'm sure we can count on him, unless the moon worries him too much. I want people who are battle-tested and have completely corporeal Patronuses. Fred and George, if they can pull themselves away from setting pranks. There should be some students as well who can handle it."

"Are you going to include us?" asked Ron.

"After what I just got you into, I'm afraid to say yes. But we've all been through so much together: if you're game, I won't stop you."

"Count me in," said Ron.

"Me, too," said Ginny.

"You can't make me stay behind," said Hermione.

"Is it somethin' me and Maxime can help with?" asked Hagrid.

"We'll be traveling by broom, Hagrid, and it will be better if everyone who goes is smaller than a dementor. Just do what you can here, okay?"

"O' course, Harry."

"I also want Neville – he'll need to bring the basilisk wand. We'll all meet at," Harry checked his watch, "1:00 a.m. in front of the chapel. See if Reverend MacBoon will see us off with a few words. We need brooms for everyone but Neville. We want him to arrive in one piece, so he'll ride with me. Bring my Firebolt. Tell everyone it has to be kept quiet and it will be as dangerous as anything I've ever done."

Ginny laughed. "Oh, yeah, that's a good selling point!"

Harry smiled. "Yeah, who wouldn't jump at that? Now that's for you and Ron, but Ron, before you do anything else, there're a few things you need to do."

"What's that, Harry?"

"You need to get up to the Hospital Wing and show yourself to your family. They've heard you're okay, but they need to see it. And since you'll be up there, find out from Madam if there are any survivors up there who won't make it without my help. I'll want you to come right back to us with that information. But before you do that even, there's one thing you have to do for all of us: CHANGE YOUR ROBES! You're a hideous sight and a worse smell – between the vomit and the blood and the sweat and …," Harry sniffed, "… Cologne? You wore cologne to a battle?"

Ron blushed. "Well, it looked like there wasn't going to be a battle and I was, uh, going to, erm, spend the day with ... someone."

Harry glanced over at Hermione who was trying to look innocent, glancing around at the trees, and not doing a very good job of it, what with the blush rising on her cheeks.

"What is that scent? Eau de Flobberworm?" Harry laughed. "Right then, once I know if I'm needed at the Hospital Wing later, you can help Ginny round up volunteers. Let's get to it."