Chapter 6: Second Thoughts

-Waiting Room-

Spike had waited in line again for an un-measurable amount of time staring at the demons and people around him, looking at their various wounds, seeing how they died and then thinking about how Michael had died, with all the death that Spike had seen it was still a disturbing thought to think about. He finally makes his way to the front of the line and faces the dark haired receptionist again; he stares at her features a little more this time and notices something odd about the scarf that she wore around her neck. It was red, but colored in a odd way, almost as if someone had accidentally spilled something on it. It was dark red in the center and then the color slowly faded.

Receptionist: "I see you're back again."

Spike didn't comment he was too wrapped up in her scarf to care about what she said to him. She sorts through her files, when she didn't find the one that she wanted right away she leaned over across the desk to look in another pile, and it was then that Spike realized why her scarf was so oddly colored, as she leaned over her scarf moved slightly out of place and Spike could see the cut that ran along her neck, the red color of her scarf was blood. Spike was snapped out of his morbid thoughts by the Receptionists voice.

Receptionist: "Straight through the White door, looks like you've got a few more chances to fix things, hope you have better luck next time."

Spike just nods and walks through the door. When he enters the white room he walks up to the receptionists desk once again to see the same teenage girl, this time sorting through papers, Spike remembers the blood that he had seen on her sleeves the last time he had been there and now seeing it again has a good guess of what it's from. The girl notices him as he walks up and lifts one of her hands to brush a stray medium blonde hair from her face, her sleeve falls down her wrist slightly and then Spike's theory of the reason of why her sleeves were bloody comes true, she had slit her wrists. This suicide scared Spike more then the other two, he thought of Dawn, and how sad she had been after Buffy had died, and he was just glad that he had been there for her to keep her from hurting herself.

Girl: "Mr. Spike, Mrs. Addison said to send you straight into her room if you were to show up again."

Spike: "Uh, thanks."

Spike gives the girl a nod and walks off towards the office doors.

-Valerie's Office room-

When he finds Valerie's he knocks once, when he hears her say come in he slowly opens the door, as he enters he sees her behind her desk further looking into details in his files, she didn't look too happy with him, however at the same time was able to look sympathetic.

Valerie: "Sit down Mr. Spike; we need to have a few words."

Spike did as he was told remaining silent and feeling almost like a small child receiving his punishment for eating the last of the chocolate chip cookies.

Valerie: "Let me just explain one thing to you… you cannot cheat the system, I understand perfectly what you were trying to do, and hopefully you will now realize that playing this game that way won't get you anywhere. You died Spike, you can't go back and change that, nor will you be able to change any event that would prevent your death, you'll just be pulled back here again, do you understand?"

Spike: "Yea."

Valerie: "alright then, let's get back to work."

Spike then takes that opportunity to look Valerie up and down, he wanted to see if she had caused her own death as did the rest of the workers, but he saw no indicating marks, her wrists were smooth as was her neck, and the back of her head held nothing but long dark hair. Spike didn't know why but it relieved him to think that she hadn't died that way.

Valerie: "Well, you have two chances left to make things right, lets look at your options more carefully this time so we can maybe get something right… lets start with what the oracle told you."

Spike: "eh… she said… she asked if I could give up what I loved for the greater good, umm I'm supposed to stop what should not have been done; it's supposed to prove my true love… I'm supposed to stop Buffy from dieing, or from coming back. I don't remember exactly, but something along those lines."

Valerie: "well then, that's where we'll start…"

Valerie flips through some more files looking for something specific. Spike thinks about what the Oracle had said to him and now he understood, his goal was to keep Buffy from the pain that she knew when she came back, and he knew just what event to prevent. If you want to save her from the pain of being brought back from the dead, then prevent he death. It seemed logical to him.

Valerie: "Here it is… the day she died, now I want you to think clearly about the Oracle's wording, she usually says things very specifically and it's possible the event that she wants you to change could very easily not be this one."

Spike: "No, no I think it is this one, it makes sense, I had dreams for months about how this could have gone differently… it has to be this."

Spike knew that there was another event that fit to the Oracles description of the event amend, however he liked this option better. This one meant that he would be keeping Buffy alive where as the other meant that he would be keeping her from being alive, and even though he knew that she was happy when she was gone, he knew the hurt that it had caused everyone else and it hurt him to think of a life without her.

Valerie: "Alright then, I trust that you know where the door to the Oracle is and that you can make it there on your own, I'd take you myself, however I have another client waiting."

Spike: "Yeah, m' fine."

Spike starts to walk away and gets halfway out the door when Valerie calls his name again. Spike turns to look at her.

Valerie: "Oh and Mr. Spike… think carefully this time."

With a simple nod Spike walks out and down the endless hall to the door that would lead him to the being that would take him back to one of the most horrific events in his life. He slowly reaches the door staring at one of the caseworkers that he passed; the man had a red mark around his neck it looked like an uncomfortable rash or burn. Then it occurred to Spike just what it was, rope burn. The man was another suicide victim; the cause of his death was a hanging. Spike seemed to have everything figured out, but one thing he didn't understand was why Valerie was a worker when she hadn't committed suicide. He reached the door then, and with a quick deep unneeded breath he turned the knob and walked through into the blinding white.

-Oracle's Room-

The Oracle stood before him once again in her golden glory and radiating blue eyes, this time Spike knew exactly what he needed to do and there was no small talk among the two.

The Oracle: "Back again lower being, what is your second request?"

Spike: "Take me back to when we were fighting Glory, I want to be sent back just before I ran up the tower,"

Everything went white again and the familiar falling feeling returned.

AN: I think this chapter cleared some things up on why Spike didn't stay with Buffy in the last chapter. Remember he died so what he's doing is just a test to determin where he'll spend eternity, I hope that was clear. Also, this fic has nothing to do with Spike ending up at Wolfram and Hart. Thanks to my Reviewers: funkydevil206 and ness345, also props to ness345 for catching that clue from the Oracle.