Jay hadn't ran into Mia since then. But he had found a job building and installing cabinets on weekdays. Emma had found a job at Abercrombie at the mall nearby. She worked just 4 days a week, she just loved the 10 discount she got on everything. Their apartment was looking more and more like home. Jay and Emma were closer than ever. They had a healthy relationship, minus the fact that Emma fooled around with Sean and Jay and Mia had some strange encounter & neither confessed about it, but it was better that way, because the truth doesn't set you free it gets you in trouble.
Saturday evening;
Emma was at work, closing with 2 other girls she'd became friends with, Nicole & April. More than likely she'd get some food with them before she came home.
Jay was lounging around the house doing nothing watching tv in his boxers & eating. He decided to get some icecream for Emma and him before she got home. He threw on some jeans and a rather tighter than usual black t shirt. He hadn't seen Mia in 2 weeks, after a week of using the stairs, so he used the elevator. He waited for it to reach him, and when the doors opened there was...no Mia. Just a girl that looked like her. His heart sunk and smiled out of relief before stepping in.
So he went to the store, got some mint chocolate chip and came home. Stepping into the lobby it was pretty crowded, people checking mail boxes, people talking, the door man yelling at some teenagers. Jay piled into the elevator with 6 otheres. He was pushed the the front. There were arms everywhere fighting to push their floor number. Jay finally pressed 5 and relaxed. A few seconds later he felt a hand grab his. He looked down and saw short black nails on a fair skinned hand covered in various rings & bracelets. He look to his left and a little behind him was Mia. She wasn't looking at him, but at the floor. By the time the elevator reached Jay's floor there was only him and Mia and an middle aged lady carrying books & an Arizona Ice Tea. It was visible that Jay and Mia were holding hands now. The doors opened,
"This is my stop."
"Is it?"
"Yeah it is." Jay said letting go of her hand. The lady behind them coughed.
"You could be a model you know..." She grabbed his hand again.
"Mia, I have to go." He started to let go of her hand when she stepped up and kissed him hard on the mouth. The lady walked out annoyed and Mia had Jay trapped in a kiss. The doors closed and the elevator moved up. "Great, now I missed my floor." Jay said pushing her away.
"Come up to my apartment."
"You are crazy, you know that?"
"I said you could be a model. Let me take your picture. Please. I promise I am not tricking you.."
"Like I'd believe that.."
"Just a few photographs. Come on, Emma won't be angry, tell her I photographed you, I'll blow them up and make them black and white and then she'll love it and hang it in your apartment."
"For one, I couldn't be a model, two, I don't want a huge picture of me hanging in my apartment. What do you really want from me? I'm not a sex God or anything. I'm just a regular guy, so give up. It's not gonna happen." Jay shook his head and pressed 5.
"Suit yourself...really, I mean I am a photography & an artist. You know I think you'd like to enjoy yourself but you are so worried about what little Emma will think. Because, God I am just going to take a few photographs of you; you are such a beautiful person..But you are so freaked out I am going to get you in trouble. Listen there's no doubt in my mind I find you extremely attractive but, I promise I'll listen next time you tell me to stop..promise?" She looked at him with a pout. Jay was about to say something when Mia cut in. "Wait, before you say anything, listen."
"I've been listening."
"Listen once more. Why did you come up to my apartment in the first place?"
"I needed a drink, I hadn't had a drink in 2 weeks and needed a fix. I was on my way down to the liqour store when.."
"When it wasn't the drink that possessed you to come up, it was me. A drink was just a slice of the deal."
"Now you are making things up." The elevator stopped at the top floor. Mia grabbed Jay's hand and stepped out.
"I hope the doors cut my arms off. Because I am not letting go."
Jay sighed, putting his head down he scratched the top of his head.
"You know, I realize I a am making you uncomfortable..okay I am embaressed I have to go." She let go of Jay's hand and ran to her door. Slamming it loud as she went in. The elevator doors closed and Jay just leaned against the wall until he got to his floor.
He walked into his room and took off his jacket laying it on the bed. He felt something, like a book touch his toes. He kneeled to the ground and picked up a composition notebook. "Was this here before we moved?" He thought looking for a name. He decided to open it up.
On the first page there was a drawing of a girl with her hair over her face, she was sitting against a wall. It was depressing. He flipped the pages, there was writing and drawings. One page caught his eye. It was scribbled completly black and on the other side it said. "FUCKING SEAN." Puzzled Jay turned the page to see an essay of a confession. It was Emma's, it hit him. This was Emma's journal, and...she's fucked Sean? He read a few lines, they said things like, "How could I.. I can't stay here under the same roof with him...I hope he forgets it ever happened...I love Jay, so why did I let Sean do it...I am a fucking whore slut bitch.." Jay through the notebook across the room and felt a tear to his eye. He rubbed his face and took a deep breathe. Emma could be home in 5 minutes or an hour and a half depending on if she was with friends.
Out of anger & confusion Jay ended up at Mia's door. He knocked and rolled against the wall leaning on it with his back and his head tilted upward. His eyes were watery and his knuckles white from the strain of making a fist. She stepped out. She was wearing a really short loose white sheer dress. Almost looked like a hospital gown. Her dark hair was in a tangled mess and her cheeks were stained from mascara running. Holding onto the molding of the door she peered out and saw Jay leaning to the right of her doorway. She saw his red watery eyes and the pain he had inside of him. She softly reached over and grabbed his hand and led him inside. She led him to the very back of her apartment, to her bedroom. Jay threw himself on the bed letting a few tears shed. She ran and grabbed her camera. She took a few shots of him lying there hopeless and sad. After about 5 he yelled at her to put it away. Instead she got a shot of him yelling. She set the camera down and crawled onto the bed next to him. She sat behind him and layed her head on his back with her arms holding onto him.
They'd stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Then Mia took off his shoes and got him to get more comfortable. She brought him some green tea which he refused and layed next to him. Then he finally spoke up.
"I...she...I...how...could she..."
"Just breathe." Jay was getting choked up. She scooted closer to him and rubbed his stomach and rested her arm on his chest.
"How can I go home and act like nothing's happened. She'll see her journal thrown across the room. She'll know I know and she'll beg and plead and beg and plead some more..."
"How could he...we are married and he won't even come visit me when I'm so alone. He says he can't get a flight in from LA but he's lying. He's left me this apartment and I expect any minute now to see divorce papers in the mailbox."
Jay looked at her. "Married?"
"Yes. It'll be 3 years this November."
"I didn't know."
"Well we are seperated sort of. His job took him to LA and then...we just grew apart I guess. He's terrible."
"She's terrible."
Then Jay got up and went into the bathroom. He got a wash cloth warm and came back to the bed with it. Sitting up he leaned over Mia and wiped the stains of black away. When her face was clean she took the wash cloth from his hands and threw it down. She sat up and grabbed his face gently and with an open mouth kissed him. He barely kissed her back. She let go and sat up. She got on top of him, sitting his lap with her legs around him and her arms around his neck. He held on to her tight. She layed her head on his shoulder and he kissed her neck, softly. She started to cry. He whispered in her ear that it was okay and cradled her head petting her hair. She held onto him like a leech.
"I don't know why I am so drawn to you."
"I don't know why I am so drawn to you." He replied.
She got up from him and the bed and went to the sterio. She searched for a CD and pulled out The Verve & played Bitter Sweet Symphony. She turned the volume up and ripped off her dress. Totally naked she crawled onto the bed and pulled Jay's shirt off as well as unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. When they were both undressed she went to the window pulling up the shades so that all of West Toronto could see them (she had a huge window). She climbed back onto the bed and Jay rolled ontop of her kissing her on the mouth hard. They were kissing eachother, expressing all of their anger and self hate. It was like a way of venting. Mia pushed Jay off of her got on top off him. She layed her head on his chest. She heard his rapid heartbeat and closed her eyes to it. The music dyed down to a slow nothing. He held Mia and caressed her head and back and she just layed on him . They didn't plan on having sex. They just wanted to be close. It was only a matter of time before Jay fell asleep, as Mia did too.
Emmas POV
Emma got a ride home from April around midnight. She walked into an empty apartment. Few lights were on. She figured Jay was getting food or something. She stepped into the bed room and the first thing she saw was her journal on the floor. Her heart sunk, "Ofcourse he'd find it..I should have thrown it away! Oh my God.. Oh my God..He knows.. He knows about Sean!" Emma was freaking out and in a panic. Especially since Jay was no where to be seen. She immediatly dialed Manny's number. No answer. She tried Darcy. No answer, it was midnight. She finally dialed Ellie's number. Answer.
"What the fuck it's midnight!"
"Ellie it's Emma!"
"Still, Emma it's midnight! I have work in the morning what the fuck?"
"Ellie I need to come over. It's urgent."
"How urgent?"
"Really urgent. I cheated on Jay with Sean and now I can't find him and I am freaking out."
"Sean?"
"I..oh my God Ellie, I-"
"Is this some kind of fucking joke! Sean? When?"
"It was when we were living at his house.."
"He and I are back together you know...and..just fuck off."
Ellie hung up. Emma started screaming her head off. She went out on the balcony and looked at the 5 story drop. In hysterics of crying she thought for a second how easy it'd be to drop and all of this would be over...
:(