Final Fantasy VII rights Squaresoft does own; I do not. Please RandR, or may Sephiroth take your soul.
Ack! I'm getting ahead of myself! I'm already writing stuff for after we get Cid in the party, and the first meeting of Vincent and Crystal... Which has lotsa huggling and monkeys with sporks! Yup, raw insanity mooing. Oh, and I decided to skip another dream sequence.
The Dance of the Chocobos: Ambrosia of the Mortal World
:thinking: I'm talking telepathically through Crystal.
Crystal: At that very moment, Hyper Ninja entered dragging a half-dead SimpTag behind her. She scowled at everyone. "I couldn't steal from him 'cause he didn't have any balls." By balls, of course, we're referring to those wonderful magic orbs. (That can be taken many ways...) :giggle blush blush blush:
:thinking: Stop it! We've gotta finish the joke!
Crystal::blushblushblush:
:thinking: Good help is so hard to find...
Cloud: SEPHIROTH TOOK CRYSTAL?
Angael::sniff: Yaa... WOE IS MEEEEEEE!
Cloud: So we don't have any more advanced items?
Angael clotheslines Cloud.
Tifa: Served him right!
Aerith: Tee hee!
Cloud stands back up, choking.
Cloud::gasp: We must... :cough: find her... :choke: immediatly! Onward!
They pack up camp and make their way across many many old tracks. They fall through some of them and pick up a few items along the way. They do a little falling. They do a little flying. They do a little frying!
Cloud: I'll have my egg over-easy, thanks.
Angael: We hero's have to eat, you know.
Eventually, they met up with Barret and Red XIII at a drawbridge.
Red XIII: Wha? Oh, it's you.
Barret: Hey!
He noogies Cloud.
Barret: We heard what happened! Ya shoulda been watchin' her closer, foo!
Cloud looks around.
Cloud: How do we get across?
Red XIII: There seems to be an instrument in that hut that manipulates this bridge. Perhaps it's best if we rest a moment.
Cloud: I'm taking you two with me. Angael? Tifa? Aerith? April? You guys can go by yourselves. Katie, come with us.
Katie: HORRAY!
Cloud: Better yet, Angael, you come, and Katie, you stay.
Katie: No! I WANNA GO!
Cloud and the others back track a bit, then head over the upper part of the bridge, then head over into the hut.
Cloud: OW! Sure is tight in here... Come on, Cloud, don't let it get to you. Hero of Summer... Hero of Summer...
Heh...
Cloud: Let's see... This is it.
Angael: ¬.¬; I have now lost all hope of you being able to save Crystal.
Barret: Are you SERIOUSLY gettin' nervous jus' bein' in here, yo?
Red XIII: Sad.
Cloud: ALRIGHT!
The others shut up.
Cloud: Maybe if I turn this...something should happen.
Cloud turns something in there.
Angael: Watch it! That was my chest you just grabbed and twisted! Be GENTLE!
Cloud: O.O; Oops! blush
Cloud turns the switch. When the drawbridge falls, someone screams.
Katie: THAT WAS MY FOOT! FREAKY FREAK FREAK!
What? She's not old enough to cuss!
They all leave. Cloud finds a spot to climb up the side of the mountain.
Barret: Aww... Wook at the koot babie birwds...
Everyone else: O.O;
Barret: Cuddle cuddle!
Cloud reaches for the treasure.
Angael: Cloud, your hair looks like a chocobo.
Cloud gets pecked by a Cockatrice.
Cloud: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
He runs down the side of the mountain and into a dude's cave. The others follow behind a bit, the Cockatrice in close persuit.
Red XIII: I suppose this just goes to show you should never take candy from a baby...
Barret: Dey were so koot... Awww...
Cave man: Hey! How'd you ever wind up around here?
Cloud: Chased... :huff: by... :puff: mommy... :gasp: Cockatrice... :pant:
Meanwhile, at the top of the mountain, Sephiroth hands a few gil to the Cockatrice.
Sephiroth: Thanks for the help.
Cockatrice: Coo...
It runs off.
Sephiroth: Mwa ha ha ha!
Crystal: Oh, come on. I could do better evil than that.
Sephiroth: Not true. No one is more evil than I, except maybe Hojo. :shudder:
Crystal: Oh yeah?
She grabs Sephiroth around the pants and pulls as far up as he can, giving him a super-wedgie!
Sephiroth::eep: I bow to you, O Evil One...
Crystal: Bwa ha ha haa!
Sephiroth: O.O; I can't walk!
Crystal: Of course you can't::snigger:
She pulls out her PHS.
Sephiroth: What do you think you're doing?
Crystal: I'm gonna call Elena.
Sephiroth: Don't let anyone know where you are!
Crystal: I WON'T! Sheesh...
She dials. On the other line, Elena picks up.
Crystal: Hi, Elena. It's me, Crystal... Yeah. Oh, they're doing fine. ...actually, three more people have joined up. ...oh, sure. I'd let you talk to Cloud, but Sephiroth kidnapped me. ...Huh? Oh, yeah. The rumors are true. A butt like a god.
Sephiroth: Who?
Crystal: You!
Sephiroth::grin: Why, thank you::blush:
Crystal: ...what? Oh, his package? Hold on.
She turns to Sephiroth and looks at his crotch. Sephiroth blushes.
Crystal: Well, if black makes things look smaller, we'll just say it's the ambrosia of the mortal world.
A loud giggle is heard echoing from the PHS.
Crystal: Okay. I'll catch you later... Bye, Elena. Oh! Tell Rude I said hi, and pinch Reno's butt for me, will ya? ...Thanks! Bye!
She hangs up.
Sephiroth: "Ambrosia of the mortal world", huh?
Crystal: Blue mountain.
Sephiroth: Oh, yeah... grin
Back down in the cave... Hey, has anyone seen Yuffie?
Yuffie: I'm in the bag with Katie. I got bored.
Oh. I was getting a little worried.
Yuffie: Do you think Crystal would mind if I took a few of her materia? She has like a hundred of every kind already...
No... I don't mind. Why don't you inventory them? Knock yourself out.
Yuffie: YEAH!
Okay, NOW back in the cave...
Cave man: Look, I'm sorry but, I can't do a thing for you!
Cloud: You couldn't even tell me if you've seen a raging psycho running around with a silver haired mad man with a tattoo of the number one on his hand? Maybe?
Cave man: Nope. Sorry, dude. Oh boy! Corel sure has gone to pot!
Barret: Nooooo::cough choke:
Cave man: It used to be a famous mining town! They say there were more jobs than you could shake a... Well, you get the picture.
Angael::mumble: There had to be a lot of jobs if Barret kept scaring people away...
Cave man: Now, it's nothing but a miserable pit! Me, my bulldozer... everything's out of work.
April: Of course, those two things aren't everything...
Cave man: Hey! Are you dissing my shiny bulldozer?
April: Well, it's not very shiny! I can't say the same for your oily pores, though...
Cave man::sniff: I can't even show my face. 'Bout all that's left for me is to just live in this hole all day.
Red XIII: Why don't you cleanse yourself and try to get a job elsewhere?
Cave man::whine: Because I can't just abandon my shiny bulldozer!
Angael: They need some workers up in Fossil Village.
Cave man: Wherzat?
Angael: Just go very north. As in the next continent.
Cave man: But I'll have to leave my shiny bulldozer!
Everyone: ¬.¬;
At the moment, Cloud is snooping around and finds some treasure.
Cloud: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T HELP US!
Cave man: NO MONEY! LAST OF FUNDS! GIVE BACK!
Angael pinches him on the back of the neck.
Angael: Chinese Memory Release.
Cave man: Huh? Where am I? Who are you? Who am I?
Angael: Hwa ha ha ha!
Everyone else: O.O; R-right... :sweat:
They all leave, then step onto a large suspended bridge.
Cloud: Ahh... this is all too familiar...
Red XIII: Are you afraid?
Cloud::whispering: Hero of Summer... Hero of Summer...
Barret: Wazzat?
Cloud: Afraid? ¬.¬; Ah... o-of cour.se...n...ot... :sweat:
The bridge sways slightly.
Cloud: HERO OF SUMMER::shiver:
Barret, Angael, and Red XIII look at eachother, confused. Barret brushes past him, and starts to walk across. The bridge sways a bit more.
Cloud: Eep!
Angael walks across, then stops in the middle and hops a little to test it.
Angael: Feels fine to me.
Cloud: YAH!
Red XIII bounds across it, shaking it violently.
Cloud: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!
Barret::yelling: Why din't ya tell us dat you wuz afraid of heights?
Cloud::yelling: Because I'm not afraid of heights! Just rope bridges!
Angael walks back.
Angael: Here. Get in the Infispace bag with Katie and Yuffie and I'll carry you across.
Cloud::muttering: Hero of Summer... Hero of Summer...
He climbs in the bag with Yuffie and Katie, where screams of torture (coming from Cloud) can be heard. Angael, Barret, and Red XIII make their way into Corel.
Small chapter, I know. I wanted to keep it short because I've got some Barret bashing coming up, and it really does need it's own chapter. How did you like Cloud's fear of rope bridges? It's deep rooted in his first fall from Mt. Nivel. Of course followed by the second fall with Sephiroth back in SOLDIER, and, well, twice would be enough to spook me... ¬.¬; Guess what, space fans? I'm going to be making this into a comic! YEAH! I'm a better artist than I am a writer, if you can believe that... I'll make a homepage where you can see it, a comic of my other fic, Dancing in the Dead Zone, recently revised to Dancing in the Ruins, and my comic version of the FF-Span on my friend Zarla's page. But I wanna make sure people want to see the comic version, so I'll check back in three months, and if I have 15 people say they want me to do that, then I will. Happy fanfic-ing!