Final Fantasy VII rights SquareEnix does own; I do not. Please RandR, or may Sephiroth take your soul.
Okay... BEFORE I continue with the story... where I actually left off... and I KNOW that I haven't done a real update in over a year... let me just say that it took me literally forever to find the original copy of Little Chiba's script. I had nothing to go off of. I lost my back-up disc, and my computer is in the garage. So I'm working with NOTHING here, people. And I've COMPLETELY forgotten where I was going with that joke. (You're laughing at me... I can hear it...) Oh... and my NEW boyfriend TJ has decided that he can't bring himself to sit down and read this. It's just too stoopid. :tears up: I'm just... so proud of me... :sniffle:
On another note... any of you guys who really wanted Angael to collect the useless items and do stuffz with Sephiroth... I.E. Angael fans... are gonna be mad at me. I'm gonna do something ROTTEN that a person really shouldn't do to their best friend. But it, unfortunately, happens in real life, and as you know, everything in this story is meant to be as realistic, objective, and neutral as possible...
The Dance of the Chocobos: WAFF
So... the singing quartet picked up their harmonicas and began to play a tune, but the Hyper Ninja girl, who had been earlier tossed into the shadows, activated her shinobi skillz, with a +4 against Singing Quartets, and rolled a perfect 20 crit! However, she still had to roll to confirm...
...WHERE THE HELL ARE MY DICE!
So Crystal (who has suddenly decided that she's twenty because three years have passé in the real world but only a month or two have passed here…) and Sephiroth have decided to take a break and head toward Ghost Square. They head up to the counter and talk to the receptionist.
Mr. Hangman: Sccreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Crystal: WAAH!
She jumps up in fright and latches onto Sephiroth's arm.
Sephiroth: We'd like a room, please.
Mr. Hangman eyes the tattoo on Sephiroth's hand.
Mr. Hangman: Oh, you must be the couple Dio told me about...! We've been saving a room for you::smile: He said you were a cute couple!
Crystal: NOT. COUPLE.
Mr. Hangman: Here's your key. It's the door at the end of the hall.
Crystal snatches the key away from him. She pulls down her eyelid and sticks out her tongue at him.
Crystal: Bleeeeeeeeeeah!
She huffily heads up the stairs, Sephiroth trailing behind, shaking his head.
Sephiroth: ¬.¬; Well, at least she's hot...
Crystal: SEPHIROTH! STOP BEING SLOW!
Sephiroth: DARE YOU YELL AT ME? THE GREAT SEPHIROTH? MASTER OF ALL THINGS POWERFUL?
They reach the room.
Crystal: The only thing you're a master of is baiting.
Sephiroth: ...? I'm a master...baite.r... Ò.Ó YOU!
Crystal: Mwa ha ha ha!
She rolls around on the floor in glee.
Sephiroth: THAT'S IT! I'VE BEEN NICE SO FAR, BUT...
Crystal: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sephiroth pulls out Masamune and...! Carefully lays it on the mantle, then angrily removes his trench coat, boots, and pants, and leaps upon Crystal!
Crystal: Yipe! Ó.Ò
She scrambles backwards, but isn't fast enough and... Somewhere in the Event Square, Cloud wanders around absently looking for... Umm... PCG. Ugh... I feel dirty now. He wanders up to a couple on a bench.
Tramp: What's your problem? Can't you see we wanna be alone?
Player: Geez, you're a real bummer. Why don't you leave us alone?
Tramp: ...Hey, where's my gum?
Player: Oh...
He pulls a piece of gum out of his mouth.
Player: Here. Sorry about that. I don't even know that I'm doing it anymore.
Cloud: PCG!
He steals the gum out of the player's hand and tosses it into his mouth.
Cloud: ..Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Aerith: O.O That... was... y.u...ck...!
Event Manager: Oi!
He yells and waves at Cloud and Aerith.
Event Manager: We put on a really unusual show here. From the looks of it, you'd fit right in! You guys need a job?
Cloud: ...whazzat?
Aerith: Uh... perhaps it'd just be best if we WATCHED...
She looks at Cloud.
Aerith: ¬.¬; You worry me.
Cloud: ...who's a what now?
Event Manager: It's not on today, but come back again sometime and see it.
Aerith grabs Cloud by the hand and leads him away towards Speed Square.
Aerith: Let's go somewhere where you have less of an audience... Tee hee!
Meanwhile, back with Sephiroth and Crystal...
Crystal::scream: No, Sephiroth...! Only with... Vin..c.ent...!
Sephiroth: Mmmm hmmm... :pinch:
Crystal: S..eph..i...
He grabs... err... something... :blush: I don't think even I should be watching this...
Sephiroth: Sluuuuuuurp!
OH my GOD! Now I KNOW I shouldn't be watching this!
Crystal: Ahhaaaaaann!
blush What... :blush: ...the... :blush: ... :blazes:... :blush: CLOUD! CLOUD AND AERITH! They're doing stuff! That isn't this!
Aerith: Speed Square looks like fun! Tee hee!
Dio: Hey, boy.
Cloud: Boy... what?
Dio: How is it? You having fun?
Cloud throws a confused look at Aerith, who has no trouble catching it.
Dio: Mmm, so you ARE having fun. Well, good, good for you boy.
Cloud: My name's Cloud. And stop calling me boy. I've always wanted to be... a LUMBERJACK!
NO! The Hand of God slaps Cloud!
Dio: Well, that's good. Always need more of them. Lot's of development in the cities now. Huge demand for lumber, boy.
He poses psuedo sexily.
Dio: Mmm? Me? I'm the owner of the Gold Saucer. The name's Dio. Just call me "Dio".
Cloud: ... la la la... :twirl: ...Ooh! Shiny::not even listening: Hello, little gil. I'll call you Judy.
Dio: By the way, boy, do you know what a "Black Materia" is?
Sephiroth would be very disappointed to find that the trail of his sources for information lead back to Cloud...
Cloud: ...What'a a huh? What is it?
Dio: Ha ha ha... that, I say, that's a good one, boy!
Cloud: Lumberjack.
Dio: But it's not a good lie. You can't fool me.
Cloud: Why d'you ask me?
Dio: Well, a while back, a boy your age came in with his HOT little chickie :hip thrust: and asked me if I had a "Black Materia". I thought you might know who he was, seein' as how you're both about the same age... give or take 10 years...
Cloud: Did he happen to have... a Black Cape...?
Dio: Why yes, yes indeed. And a tattoo on his hand that said "1".
Cloud: 21! I'm 21! I'm not too sure of a whole lot else, but I KNOW FOR SURE that I'm 21! SEPHIROTH IS 30! 30, 30, 30, 30, 30!
Cloud starts to throw a tantrum.
Aerith: Tee hee!
Cloud: That's it! Where did he go?
Dio: Ha ha ha, I have no idea. Ghost Square, maybe. Well then... I say, stop by the Battle Arena if you like, boy.
Cloud: LUMBERJACK! 21 YEARS OLD!
Dio::not listening: You'll probably like it. Many of my collections are on display there. Ha, ha ha.
He is still shaking with laughter as he leaves.
Crystal: OH MY GOD!
Cloud: Did you hear that?
Aerith::nodding: We'll have to save Crystal soon! I'm starting to worry! It sounds like Sephiroth's torturing her...!
God... I don't want to... but I know I'm gonna have to... :sigh: Back with Crystal and Sephiroth...Oh. Good. I can't see anything. Where the hell did all that steam come...fr.o..m... Oo;
Sephiroth: This'll... teach ya... to insult... my package... in leather... pants!
Crystal: Murffle!
Somewhere, far across the world, Vincent Valentine wakes from his peaceful slumber in a cold sweat.
Vincent: I feel as though a great indecency is being done to me... But... why? ¬.¬
And ELSEWHERE, across the world, Cid is dancing around in his underwear, singing along with a Bloodhound Gang song... He's holding a wrench like a microphone.
Cid::singing: Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo. Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo. Put the "you know what"... in the "you know where". Put the "you know what"... in the "you know where". Put the "you know what"... in the "you know where". Put the "you know what"... in the "you know where". Wahoo.
Back with Sephiroth and Crystal... :sob:
Crystal: Murrrrrfle::tear: ... :sob:
Sephiroth: Crying... woman...? Hn... you're... weaker... than I... thought...
Crystal: Waaaaaaaaaah::cries:
Sephiroth stops what he's doing... AND NO, I'M NOT GONNA GIVE ANY BLOODY DETAILS... and cups her cheek. Crystal looks up at him.
Crystal: ... :sniffle:
Sephiroth: I love you, you know.
Elsewhere, a shiver runs up Angael's spine...
Crystal: ...y... you do...?
Sephiroth: Yeah... you grew on me kinda quick...
The chill ends at the base of Angael's neck, making all her hairs stand on end.
Crystal: B..but...Vincent...
Sephiroth: Yeah... about that...
Angael's eye begins to twitch madly.
Sephiroth: There's no way I'm gonna let you go for him. WHOEVER he is.
Crystal: B..b..b...but... :whine:
He halts her by passionately kissing her, then, soon after, continues his previous actions. Elsewhere, tears stream down Angael's face.
Angael: SOMETHING IS NOT KOSHER IN HEBREW-LAND!
Okay... don't flame me. A friend of mine gave me that joke. AND HE'S JEWISH. Back with Cloud...
Cloud: Is there anything fun to do around here?
Aerith: Of course, silly! You're spending time with me! Tee hee!
Guy who wishes he'd left his kids at home with their mother: We have to be careful of these steps.
Kids: WHAI, DADDIE?
Guy who wishes he'd left his kids at home with their mother: What...? A lot of things...
Kids: OU. DADDIE IS SMAHRT. WEE LYKE HEEM BYKAZ HEE IS FHUN!
Aerith: Aww... what cute children...
Guy who wishes he'd left his kids at home with their mother: Really? You want them, lady? THEY'RE TOTALLY FREE.
Game junkie: First, I gotta memorize the order it somes out, and then guess on the attacks... mumble, mumble...
The attraction lady pulls Cloud aside.
Attraction lady: Oh, don't talk to him, mister. This is all he does all day.
Cloud: ...I like llamas.
Attraction lady: Do you want to hear the rules for this attraction?
Cloud: Yes. Waittaminute... no.
Attraction lady: This attraction, Shooting Coaster is...
Cloud: Speak you backwards.
Attraction lady: While your ride's going ZOOM, you're going BANG BANG...
Cloud::singing: I was five and he was six. We rode on horses made of sticks. He wore black and I wore white. He would always win the fight... BANG BANG... He shot me down...
Attraction lady: ...and things are going PHEW PHEW and you destroy them with a big BOOM. Pretty simple, isn't it? Oh, to shoot, hit the O button.
Cloud: ... :sweatdrop:
Attraction lady: And, the Bar that's shown on the left side of the screen is the Power Meter.
Cloud: ... :sweatdrop:
Attraction lady: When it's full, it'll go BROOOOOM and when it's empty, it'll only go BRM and become weak. So be careful. Also, if you're in the Top 3 you'll get on the Wall of Fame. Would you like to see the Wall of Fame?
Cloud: Yes. Waittaminute... no. I've really gotta stop doing that.
The attraction lady shows him the top scores.
Attraction lady: You'll recieve a prize if you get more than 3000 pionts. So good luck.
Cloud: O.O Prize?
Attraction lady: Yes.
Cloud: BANANA PHONE!
Attraction lady: No.
Cloud: Ò.Ó Then I don't want your dirty prizes!
He sticks his nose up in the air and huffily leaves for Wonder Square, dragging a confused Aerith behind him. Meanwhile, with Katie and April...
Katie: What the...?
Her fingers start to fizzle out. April's fingers fizzle out, too. They look at one another.
April and Katie: ...GUH!
They fizzle back into reality, standing in the bar where Crystal and Angael first entered the area.
April: DAMNIT!
Katie: Ditto!
April: Hey, you're Crystal's sister! Maybe you could fix our transporty-thingyma-stuffs!
Katie: I can try... but I don't know if it'll work...
April: It's worth a try...
Katie: I wonder why we fizzled out...
April: Maybe one of the guys decided to use their um... thing. ¬.¬;
Katie: How many did Crystal MAKE?
Back at Gold Saucer, where Katie and April once were, Anna, from here on known as "Panda", fizzles in. She's as tall as Crystal, with short, super-curled dark brown hair with a couple gold highlights in it. She's wearing panda pajamas and a pair of panda ears.
Panda: ...Something Crystal made... worked? Huzzah! Now, where is she? I need a chibi hentai fix!
And so, like a drug addict to her dealer, she begins to hunt down Crystal with a tenacity that only Panda could supply!
Panda: Maybe I should make some tea first... Where's the kitchen?
ALSO meanwhile, with Yuffie, Red XIII, and Tifa, in Round Square...
Gondola engineer: Welcome. This attraction is 3 GP. Shall you be riding this evening?
Yuffie, Tifa, and Red XIII: No, I shan't.
¬.¬; O...k.ay... I'm gonna regret this, but... back with Sephiroth and Crystal...
Sephiroth: Mmmm...
Crystal's head turns 360 degrees.
Crystal: Viiiiiiiiiiinceeeeeeeeeent!
Sephiroth: I said NO!
He grabs her close, pulling... stuff... tighter together... O.O;
Crystal: MURRFLE!
Sephiroth: MINE!
Crystal: Vin...
Sephiroth: GOD DAMNIT!
He grabs her face harshly, and forces her to look into his Mako eyes.
Sephiroth: YOU. ARE. MINE.
Crystal: O.O;
She begins to be hypnotized. I mean, well, Sephiroth doesn't REALLY have hypno powers, but if he were nekkie on top of you, grabbing your face and looking deep into your eyes, the WAFF would take over and you KNOW you'd do anything he told you to.
Crystal: CRYSTAL. YOURS.
Sephiroth: That's more like it.
Crystal's mind begins to fuzz out... and all thoughts of Vincent... are erased.
Everyone: ... :moment of silence:
:wipes away a tear:
Everyone: ...
Anyways, somewhere across the planet, Vincent wakes again in a cold sweat, this time clutching his heart.
Vincent: ...! This emptiness... like never before...! What madness has occurred...?
-Insert dramatic closing screenshot of Crystal, Vincent, Sephiroth, and Angael here.-
Yeah... I know. Pretty crappy way to end a chapter, huh? I thought I'd try for that "cliffhanger" thing they've been taking about lately. And I'm in a dramatic mood. I REALLY didn't want to erase everything Vincent from Crystal's mind... but I think it needed to happen. It'll give things an interesting twist. I don't know. Anyways, I know you guys are 1. upset I didn't give you any steamy details (this fic is rated R, not NC-17); 2. are SEETHING that Crystal went behind Angael's back and did stuffz with Sephiroth... (it wasn't her choice... she didn't want to... Sephy's kinda... forceful.); 3. totally in awe of the amazingness that I pulled with Tifa, Yuffie, and Red XIII (brilliant, huh?); 4. wondering why I got rid of Katie and April; 5. wondering who the hell Panda is, and what this "chibi hentai" thing is all about; and 6. waiting for another update. Sorry... it'll come soon enough, but I'm not getting enough reviews! This thing is already 20 chapters long and don't even have 50 reviews! YOU GUYS ARE SLACKERS! CUT AN AUTHOR SOME SLACK!