Final Fantasy VII SquareEnix does own; I do not. Please RandR, or may Sephiroth take your soul.

Want... job... :runs around like a zombie:

The Dance of the Chocobos: WAFF is for Warm and Fuzzy Feelings

:wrestles her dice out of Chibi Sephy's maw: THOSE ARE NOT SKITTLES! Anyways, she still had to roll to confirm, but alas... no! She botched with a 1! Instead of the desired rescue of Angst Boy (yeah... that's a good replacement name), her shiruken landed...

CHIBI SEPHY! NOOOOOOO::takes him to the hospital from him choking on dice:

Crystal wakes up hours later, feeling sticky.

Crystal::groggy: Where the f--k am I...?

Sephiroth whispers in her ear from behind her.

Sephiroth::whisper: Such colorful language for such an innocent girl...

Crystal: Waittamin... OH MY GOD! ANGAEL'S GONNA KILL ME!

Meanwhile, downstairs in the lobby...

Zombie greeter: Welcome. Thank you for coming to the Ghost Hotel.

Angael: Standing around in Chocobo Square for THREE HOURS. GOD, I'm tired!

Zombie greeter: Uuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Back upstairs...

Crystal: I'M GONNA DIE! SHE'S DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW! I CAN HEAR HER!

Sephiroth::purr: Don't worry. I'll just put up a barrier. She won't be able to see, hear, or smell us.

Crystal: ...we do smell like... well... y'know.

Sephiroth: And I'm ready for round eight. Are you gonna behave this time?

Crystal: Look, Sephy, it's been grand, but for some reason, I can't remember why the hell I decided to join you for a round or two...

Sephiroth: Seven.

Crystal: ...a round or seven of "mattress wrestling". I can't seem to remember anything that happened between outside of Corel and here, and I'd like an explanation, and a way to break this news to Angael. I mean, she's my best friend!

Sephiroth: Is that all...?

Crystal: I WANT TO LIVE.

Sephiroth: Fine. I'll make you a deal. Just pretend as though nothing happened. If it comes up, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Crystal: And fall off that bridge and fall to a bloody, splattered death.

Sephiroth: You were all kisses and huggles before it got serious...

Crystal::glaring daggers: That's because my neck wasn't on the line!

Sephiroth::shrugs: Hey... I told you in Junon that I wanted you as my right hand woman.

Jenova: SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: Other than mom...

Lucrecia: SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: And that strange woman from my dreams...

Captain Kirk: SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: And Captain Kirk, cuz he just rulz.

Crystal: ... ¬.¬;

Sephiroth: But of all four of the people at my right hand, you're at the top.

Jenova, Lucrecia, and Captain Kirk: SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth: Now... c'mere. :huggle:

Crystal: Um... :huggled:

Sephiroth: Besides, if Angael really cares about you, she'll understand. And other than Angael, what was stopping you from being with me...?

Crystal tries to think, but nothing comes up, because she can't remember Vincent at all.

Crystal: ...I guess you're right...

Sephiroth: Well, that's just because I'm ALWAYS right. :rolls his eyes: Duh.

Crystal: FINE. But at least take me out for food stuffz.

Sephiroth: Alright. I heard they were doing "Dinner and a Show" at Event Square.

Back downstairs...

Angael: I need a room, Zombie Man.

Zombie greeter: For reservations, please step up to the counter. Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Angael: Man... you must really hate your job.

Zombie greeter::disgruntled: Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Angael steps up to the counter.

Mr. Hangman::from above: It's our most popular employee, Mr. Hangman...!

Screen music::drum roll: Da da da dum da dum da dummmmm!

Mr. Hangman: Welcome! It's 5 GP a night. Would you like to stay?

Angael: Yeah...

She hands him 5 GP that she'd previously found lying in the bathroom.

Mr. Hangman: Thank you...::thinking: Squishy...? Ewww!

Angael heads up to her room and shuts the door. Three seconds later, Sephiroth emerges from his room, fully clothed, with Crystal tailing behind, wearing a pink floor length dress with lace and frills... She looks a lot like Princess Zelda.

Crystal: That's cuz I sew really awesome costumes and I brought them with me. Nyah::tongue:

She and Sephiroth leave the area. Meanwhile, Cloud has rounded up Yuffie, Red XIII, and Tifa, and they, along with Aerith, head to Battle Square.

Guard: I'm sorry, we're currently renovating. Please come again.

Nobody notices Yuffie sneak past the guard. She avoids all the technicians who are trying to figure out why the sound system isn't working properly, and heads into Dio's Museum.

Yuffie: Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

She looks around, gauging what she can stuff into her satchel without anyone noticing. She grabs something that looks like a journal. A blue text box appears that says: Yuffie received "Dio's Combat Diary"! She stuffs it haphazardly into her bag. She also grabs a very large bag of what looks to be action figures. A blue text box appears that says: Yuffie received "1/32 Inch Soldier"!

Yuffie: Ooh... SHINY...

She grabs a bag full of shiny, pointy objects. A blue text box appears that says: Yuffie received "False Masamune Blade"! However, in grabbing this bag, she cuts herself on one of the blades, and quickly grabs a half used box of tissues. A blue text box appears that says: Yuffie received "Tissue"! She totally disregards the floating rock centerpiece (which kind of looks like it could be a key to some sort of temple somewhere) and heads back out the door, past the engineers, down the stairs, and past the guard...

Yuffie: Hey, Cloud! Look at what I found!

Cloud: ...Wow! Where'd you get all this cool stuff?

Yuffie: I won it! FEAR AND RESPECT ME!

Cloud: ...Yuffie... this junk is useless...

Yuffie: Whaddya mean, useless? This is LITERALLY all the stuff Angael needs for her mini-quest! Weren't you paying attention outside Junon!.?

Cloud: ...who's a what now?

Yuffie: I can sell them to Angael for MASSIVE CASH.

She rubs her hands together greedily.

Yuffie: Nyuk nyuk nyuk... Here, Cloud. Carry these.

Cloud: Nooooo... I don' wanna!

Tifa: Yuffie, stop pestering my man!

Aerith: You mean MY man.

Tifa: I grew up with him.

Aerith: I healed him.

Tifa: Pig.

Red XIII: I'm beginning to think I was better of staying with Hojo...

Meanwhile, back with Sephiroth and Crystal... They arrive at Event Square and enter the area...

Greeter: Congratulations! You two are our 100th couple!

Crystal: Oh... God... This isn't the thing where I'm the princess and I've gotta be saved from a dragon, is it?

Greeter: ...What? No... but that's a great idea! I'll have to run that by the manager and see if we can work that one out...

He writes it down.

Greeter: ...but you guys are invited to be part of our show...

He ushers them to the back, handing them some very thick scripts. An hour later... Sephiroth is on stage wearing a very Victorian-esque outfit, and Crystal is in a floor length ball gown that is only slightly more overdone than the outfit she was in before.

Crystal::singing operatically: DRA- - - -CO- - - -!

Sephiroth::singing operatically: MA- - - -RIA- - - -!

Crystal::singing operatically: DRA- - - -CO- - - -::stomach growl: O.O;

Alucard (Castlevania: Symphony of the Night), who is sitting in the audience, wipes away a tear.

Sephiroth::singing operatically: MA- - - -RIA- - - -::grin:

After the show…

Greeter: WoooooooooOW! That was AMAZING! They're just gonna play some light music now, so please enjoy a meal on the house. Feel free to order anything on the menu that you like!

Crystal: Yessssssss! FOOOOOOOOD!

Light music begins to play. It's Vincent Valentine's Theme… and suddenly, Crystal is…! Unaffected.

That's all for now. Two updates in 24 hours. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. PLEASE! REVIEW::cries: