Final Fantasy VII SquareEnix does own; I do not. Please RandR, or may Sephiroth take your soul.
Still… no… job… :still walking around like a zombie: By the way, I've received… COMPLAINTS… about the seriousness of part of chapter 21. I don't know how any of you guys are gonna survive when it's time to kill off Aerith…
Audience: What the HELL are you talking about? That's one serious part that we're looking forward to! Besides, seeing what you've done so far, we KNOW that you're gonna make it funny in some way…
The Dance of the Chocobos: Things That Make You Go… BOOOOOOOM!
Um… so… :is worried about Chibi Sephy, who is in surgery right now for d20 related asphyxiation: Um… hyper ninja… :glances worriedly at the clock on the hospital wall and is having trouble concentrating: …landed her shiruken right down the front of Angst Boys… uh::twiddles thumbs: …shirt, busting it open with such force that fangirls everywhere begin to drown in their own drool…
:sniffle: Chibi Sephy… :wail: IS DROWNING BECAUSE OF DICE::sobsobsob:
Please send your love and best wishes for Chibi Sephy by way of reviewing this chapter. Thank you.
When last we saw our heroes… "our heroes", of course, meaning Sephiroth and Crystal, because I'm sure everyone would rather hear about them… Damn you, SquareEnix! When are you gonna come out with a Sephiroth video game? I'm already counting down until Dirge of Cerberus… COME OUT FASTER! FASTER! FASTER! FASTER! Um…
Sephiroth: I'm waiting…
When last we saw Crystal and Sephiroth, they were in Event Square, enjoying a lovely dinner together… Pardon me… lovely "FREE" dinner together…
Crystal::snarf chomp chomp bite chew:
Sephiroth: O.O;
Crystal::murffle: What? Octopus sushi is really chewy…::squish chew chew chomp swallow:
Sephiroth: ¬.¬; R..i.ght…
He calmly continues to eat his tako salad. (Tako salad is baby octopi……………………………………………………STOP CRYING FOR THE BABY OCTOPI!)
Crystal: Could you call the waiter over here, please?
Sephiroth: Sure. But don't order any more octopus. You'd been working on that same piece for over ten minutes.
Crystal::rubbing jaw: Yeah… my mouth's a little tired after that…
Sephiroth yells for the waiter.
Waiter: Yessir?
Crystal: May we have two orders of Samurai rolls, please?
Waiter: Certainly. I'll be back with that in a moment.
Sephiroth: What's a Samurai roll?
Crystal: It's unagi with cream cheese and avocado and… something else… I'm not sure… wrapped in nori, wrapped in rice, then VERY LIGHTLY tempura coated… sliced into rolls. VERY AWESOME WITH THE UNAGI.
Sephiroth: …what's unagi?
Crystal::choke: …WHAT!
Sephiroth: I said, "What's unagi?"
Crystal::cough cough: Only the best anything ever! It's smoked eel with this really awesome sweet sauce of ROCK ON-ness.
Sephiroth: Ah. I see now. My bad.
The waiter returns and sets the Samurai rolls in front of them.
Sephiroth: Shu-kuriimu, o-negai shimasu.
The waiter nods, then turns and heads back to the kitchen.
Crystal: O.O :impressed: Did you just order an éclair? In Japanese?
Sephiroth: Well, I figured you were speaking it, so I may as well do the same.
Crystal: …Take me. I'm yours.
Sephiroth::grin:
Meanwhile, Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, Yuffie, and Red XIII have all gotten together and are heading to Wonder Square. Currently, they're in the tube chute.
Cloud: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Aerith: Tee hee!
Yuffie: Waaaaaa hoooooo!
Tifa: Ow! Ow! Stupid hair getting caught on dumb tube nuts and bolts! OW OW OW!
Red XIII::eyes squeezed shut: Grandpa save me…!
They hit the end of the tube, and end up in a huge pile. A stuffed cat riding a giant moogle bounces up to them.
Guy who's existence I'd prefer to not even acknowledge: Hey you! What're you lookin' so down for?
Cloud: I look down 'cuz I'm on the ground… below you.
Tifa: Cloud… don't touch me there…
Aerith: Ò.Ó PARDON ME?
Tifa: Ooh! Touch me there!
Yuffie: Ninja… can't… breathe…! Why does it feel like a dog's humping my leg…?
Red XIII: I can't help where I land.
Yuffie: X.X;
Cloud: …ow.
GWEIPTNEA: How 'bout it? Want me to read your fortune? A bright future! A happy future! Oh, but don't hold it against me if it's not a great prediction!
Yuffie: I predict that I'm gonna stick a shiruken up your ass if you don't GET OFF ME!
Cloud stands up, leaving the girls and Red to try and sort out their limbs.
GWEIPTNEA: Oh, so sorry! I'm a fortune telling machine. The name's…
The character naming screen appears in front of Cloud.
Cloud: What the…? Cool! I get to name it? I haven't gotten to name anything since my pet rock died.
Yuffie: How do you manage to kill a pet rock?
Cloud: He ran away and was run over by a car.
Yuffie: …
Cait Sith: Cait Sith!
Cloud looks around.
Cloud: No… none of us are "Cait Sith".
Cait Sith: No, no, no. That's my name.
Cloud: Ohhh…………………. Who's a what now?
Tifa: Cloud, pay attention!
Cloud: RIGHT::whispering: Hero of Summer::normally: So… you can only read the future?
Cait Sith: You kidding! I can find missing things, missing people, anything! I can read the past :cough: if you give me a history book or a diary :cough:. I can tell you where your loved ones are :cough: if you have a phone number :cough:. Heck, I can even tell you when you're gonna die.
He looks meaningfully at Aerith.
Aerith::not paying attention: Tee hee!
Cloud: Then can you tell me where a man named Sephiroth is?
Cait Sith: Sephiroth, right? Okay, here goes!
Cait does a little fortune telling dance. OO It scares me… :huggles a Sephy plushie: Cait Sith hands a small slip of paper to him.
Cloud: …Ordinary luck. It will be an active fortune. Give into the good will of others, and something big'll happen by summer. …wait… what's this? HERO OF SUMMER! FINALLY! ALL MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!
Do you have any clue how long I had to hold onto that joke just to get to this point? Totally worth it. Anyways, Cloud grins wildly, then looks at the back of the slip of paper.
Cloud: Your lucky numbers are 13, 27, 57, 99, and 666.
Cait Sith: Huh? Let me try again.
Cait does his little dance again. For some reason, it starts to rain. This gives the girls just enough lubrication to scramble apart, then run to find shelter. Cait hands Cloud another slip of paper.
Cloud: Be careful of forgetfulness… Um… Who's a what now…? Your lucky color is… blue? Your lucky number is 42? …Forget it. :thinking: I already have. :smile:
Cait Sith: Wait, wait! Give me another chance! Wait! Let me try it again!
Cloud: Damn! Okay! Okay! Don't gotta be so pushy!
Cait does a SUPER dance, and it starts to hail.
Cloud: ..Ow.. OW…. OW!
He gets pelted. Cait Sith hands him a final slip of paper.
Cloud: …What the?
Aerith: What?
Tifa: Cloud, pay attention.
Yuffie: I'm FREEZING!
Cloud: What you pursue will be yours. But you will lose something dear. :thinking: What a crappy fortune telling machine.
Other guy in Cloud's head: You should cut him in two.
Cloud::thinking: I should, shouldn't I::smile: I ALWAYS do what the voices in my head tell me to.
Cloud starts to reach for his sword, dropping the piece of paper on the ground simultaneously, when Cait Sith speaks up.
Cait Sith. I don't know if it's good OR bad… This's the first time I ever got something like THIS. :nodding: Then shall we?
Cloud: Yes.
Cloud pulls out his sword.
Cloud: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?
I don't own any rights to Batman.
Aerith: What are you talking about?
Tifa: Pay attention, bitch.
Aerith: Oh, shut up.
Aerith swings a really hard punch in Tifa's direction, instantly knocking Tifa out.
Cait Sith: As a fortune teller, I can't help but think about this. If I don't see what it leads to, I won't be able to relax. That's why I'm going with you.
Yuffie: I get it. You're kind of like the fortune teller who was hired to kill someone, so you read their fortune and tell them they'll be run over by a truck, and when it happens, you're the one driving the truck, and no one will suspect you.
Cait Sith: That has nothing to do with it.
Yuffie: Sure, it doesn't. :thinking: I can't let his sneaky plan undermine my sneaky plan… This is WAR. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Aerith: What are we going to do, Cloud?
No response.
Aerith: Cloud…?
Cloud: Why is the person who gives me alcohol unconscious on the floor?
Aerith: Well… she was tired, I guess.
Cloud: Oh.
Cait Sith: Well, I'm comin' with you no matter WHAT you say!
He huddles up next to Cloud.
Cloud: H… hey! Personal space! 5 feet! Now! Aerith, grab Tifa. We'll go stay at the hotel. Cait… I don't know.
Aerith grabs Tifa by the pony tail and drags her away. The piece of paper is still on the floor, back side facing up. It says "Sephiroth is in Event Square." But nobody notices.
Because it took me over two weeks to write this chapter: I GOT A JOB! YAY! I'm making over $10.00/hr plus benefits as a greeter at Verison! I highly suggest trying to work for them if you have good customer service and retail skillz.
Erm… I OBVIOUSLY don't own the rights to Verison. Don't sue me!