At sunset, the Scooby Gang and Watchers had gathered at the Sunnydale High School library, waiting for Angel, Buffy, and Faith to show up.
Faith came through the library doors first, scowling. Angel and Buffy followed, both wearing expressions of disgust.
"You must NOT take so long dusting a vampire! The longer you wait and keep your focus on only one, others will come to take advantage of your distraction!"
Faith stopped in her tracks, as she thought/ They can't take my Slayer rights from me... I have studied a long time for this opportunity, and now she is back and where am I to go, Faith thought in fear. She whirled around, and snarled, "I'm not taking no advice from some...vampire! You can just go to HELL!"
Everyone in the room froze as Buffy shrieked and launched herself at Faith in rage. As they landed in the center of the floor, a voice-filled shout entered everyone's minds.
YOU WILL LISTEN TO HIM...AND OBEY!
Faith stopped struggling against Buffy's superior strength. Her eyes grew huge with fear, as she whispered, "This isn't real. It can't be."
As Faith gazed in terror at Buffy, Angel felt a strange sense of deja'vu as he recognized her face.
My God! I know her! Angel thought in shock, as memories came to him.
12 years ago, New York
"Get him!" a vampire shouted.
Angel ran down the alleyway, breathing heavily from exhaustion (even though he did not need to breath). He looked behind himself, eyes wide and wild with fear, as he tried to see how far away those chasing him were. He staggered and fell, as he unwittingly tripped over something.
A moment later, the vampires chasing him grabbed him, and harshly pulled him to his feet. Angel struggled against their superior strength, until he was kicked harshly in the stomach...then the head.
He blacked out
Angel awoke to the sounds of fighting. The sounds of vampires fighting over their "meal." Cautiously, Angel focused his eyes, and saw a family of three (mother, father, and young child) surrounded by the two vampires that had chased him. The mother and father lay on the ground, clearly dead by the bite wounds on their necks, while one vampire held the girl. As if sensing his eyes on them, the vampire not holding the girl turned to look at Angel, and saw his eyes open.
"So, you're awake," said the vampire, eyes narrowing in thought.
The other vampire looked up from the girl, and commented, "Why don't we give him the girl? She's too puny to divide up anyway."
"Exactly what I was thinking," said the first vampire. With those words, he roughly grabbed the girl, and tossed her to Angel. Instinctively, Angel caught her before she hit the ground. Gently, he held her close to him as he gazed with narrowed eyes at the two other vampires.
The one who had held the girl laughed harshly, as the first one said sarcastically, "Drink up! It's on us."
Angel's lips thinned, before he said quietly, "And if I don't? What will you do?"
The laughter stopped, before the first vampire said with dark menace, "Then we'll take her and use her for our own enjoyment...and you will find yourself in the sun at sunrise."
With rage in his heart and a blank face, Angel slowly turned around 'til his back was to the vampires. Moving his mouth close to the girl's ear, he whispered, "I want to get you out of here alive. In order to do that, you must close your eyes, and don't move until I say so."
The girl trembled in Angel's arms with fear, but did as he asked. Carefully, Angel lowered the girl to the ground, then slowly stood up, his vampiric face appearing. He turned around, making sure to keep the girl's neck hidden from view, and said, "I did what you said, now go. I'll take care of the bodies."
Grinning, the vampires laughed, and left Angel, the dead parents, and young girl. For a long moment, Angel gazed at the dead bodies. He shuddered, as he drew in a shaky breath and changed back to his human face. Turning, he picked up the girl, and whispered, "I'm taking you to a safe place."
Thirty minutes after he had saved the girl, he was standing in front of a church he knew was open at this late hour. The girl stood on the steps in front of him, gazing at him with innocent curiosity.
"Are you an angel," the girl asked when she caught Angel's eye.
Angel turned his face away from her gaze, and softly whispered, "No."
"Yes you are! You're my guardian angel," she insisted.
Angel, with a soul-weary sigh, dropped down on one knee, and placed his hands on the girl's shoulders. Quietly, he asked her, "What's your name, Little One?"
"Janet," she answered.
"Janet, listen to me. I am not an angel, nor am I your guardian angel." He paused then said slowly, his brow drawn down in concentration, "But I think you do have some sort of protector out there. You shouldn't have survived what happened tonight...but here you are." A smile tugged faintly at his lips for a moment, as a thought came to him. "Have faith that you will find your protector, Janet. I have no doubt that you will meet that person or being someday."
Angel slowly rose to his feet, then turned and walked away, the image of Janet's terrified face when confronted with the vampires etching itself permanently within his memory.
"Janet?" Angel asked in shock.
Faith froze, her breath catching for a moment. Somehow, she threw Buffy off of herself, rose to her feet, and gazed at Angel in fear.
"How do you know my name?" Faith asked, her voice faintly shaking.
"What do you mean by "my name"? Your name is Faith!" Buffy quickly intervened.
Angel looked down for a moment as he realized that this memory had come back to haunt him. Another soul to ask for forgiveness for the wrong doings of my past. I should have made sure of what happened to her.
"Buffy, it is kind of complicated..." Angel trailed off, and turned away, his face falling into shadow.
Faith's eyes widened, as recognition dawned. "YOU! Why? Where...? You were special to -- special to me. The one who saved me that night and then left me with an image of an angel! I thought you would watch over me -- especially when times were rough -- but you didn't! How could you! I trust no one because of you! I was a little girl who lost everything and didn't understand why it happened..." Faith stopped as she realized what she was saying. Her hands flew to cover her mouth, as if to take back what she had said. With terrified eyes, she turned and ran out of the room.
Angel swallowed thickly, his shock evident. Resolve soon followed the shock. Looking at no one, yet addressing everyone, Angel said, "I must talk to her. No one follow."
He looked at Buffy, clearly talking to her. After a moment, she nodded. Angel nodded back, then went after Faith.
Angel's words rang painfully clear in Buffy's mind as she watched the library doors swing shut. "I must do this on my own, Beloved. I am sorry."
Angel ran down the hallway, and spotted Faith standing stalk still, tears falling unheeded down her face. Slowly, Angel walked toward Faith, and drew her into his embrace to comfort her. Softly he asked her, "What happened to you, after I left you in front of that church, Little One?"
"Torment is what happened. I was shuffled from one home to another. Given to people who didn't care...and others who used me as a slave...or as something to take their frustrations out on. I found my heart in tatters, wishing that my angel would come and save me once more...to take care of those who harmed me...to-to-to...lift me up in your strong arms and let me know that someone cared about me. I don't know what love is. And I don't think I will ever know. How can I go on being around you when you could of been there?"
Angel pulled away. He was in agony. No one should endure what she has endured!
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, as a single blood-tear fell down his agonize-filled face. "So sorry."
Rage began to boil within her soul. Only now does he try to make up for all the pain that I had to go through! I don't think so!
It was then that she pushed him back and glared at him. She said, nearly snarling in anger, "If I had my way...I would kill you now! Maybe then I would feel peace!"
"No," Angel said with firm conviction, "it will not. It will only make things worse."
"I can't trust you! Y-you abandoned me! Only the 'Underground' took me in and gave me a reason to live and go on! They have been my 'guardians', and now that I know who you are... And I feel confusion...but there are still parts of me that want to be glad that you are alive, and other parts want me to destroy you..." Faith trailed off, confusion clearly written on her face.
What is happening to me! Am I getting soft? This is what I have been wanting from that moment he saved me. But somewhere inside me wants to destroy him...he could of saved my parents and protected my life.
Angel felt anger rising, the demon -- 'though no longer in control -- was dangerously close to the surface.
He said, nearly growling, "Death doesn't solve anything! My God! I have lived for nearly two and a half centuries, and in all that time death has only made things worse. You want me to be this perfect savior? Well, I can't! I'm a demon...not an angel."
Faith sneered, feeling her own Slayer blood beginning to boil, and said, "A what? A demon that is out for the blood of others? A monster that pleasures and delights in death by destroying the lives of others? Because that is what you did to me!"
Angel suddenly became calm, as a sense of understanding came over him. He said, "Little One, the monster that I was can no longer touch this earth. But if you wish to kill me, then know this: there was nothing I could have done to save your parents. Those that killed your parents, wished me dead as well. I am not welcome in the Underground. If you kill me...you do them a service, and destroy any chance of the Light winning over the Dark in this battle."
Faith shuddered, as she heard the truth within Angel's words, and felt fear. Helplessly, she gazed at Angel, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She was on the verge of crying. Overwhelmed by what she was feeling, she turned on her heel and ran. Faith thought in wild panic, I am so confused! I've got to go and clear my head. Somewhere safe.
Before Angel could stop her she was gone... But somehow he knew she needed the time to sort things out in her head...as did he. How could he make her understand what happened that night? How could he understand himself? He had no intentions that night to save anyone's skin but his own, yet he had.
The doors of the library slowly opened, as Angel walked inside, his head lowered in apparently deep thought. As the doors swung closed, Angel raised his head, his face expressionless. In a burst of speed that was fueled by anger, Angel whirled around, and slammed his fist into the wall by the doors. His fist went through the wall, as the room shook.
In rage, Angel turned back around, and glared at Giles and Maeve. His voice was cold as ice as he said, "Was this prophesied as well, Watcher!"
Maeve informed Angel, saying, "For you to conquer the demon that once held you, you must make amends to those who you have wronged in the past."
Angel said with a glare and sneer, "I did not wrong her!"
Maeve looked at Angel with utter unattachment, and said, "But to her, you have. There were other options that you did not choose."
Angel started towards the Watcher, but was stopped suddenly by Buffy standing in front of him.
"No, Beloved," she said.
He looked down and into her eyes. Eyes that shone with confusion and concern. He raised a hand, and gently placed it on one cheek, his anger leaving in the face of his soulmate's concern.
She fell into his eyes and smiled with warmth. "We will overcome this obstacle, like all the others."
He sighed, then murmured out-loud, "I know."
Xander said, his annoyance clear, "I wish you two would stop that. It really is giving me a headache."
Angel looked up, his face a little more than annoyed. He said, "Shut up, Xander."
Willow moved towards Angel, "So, can you let us in on what just happened out there with Faith? We are all involved in this together too you know."
This time it was Buffy who answered.
"I think I can explain." She looked at Angel. "If you want me to?" Angel nodded his ascent. "Ok, then. Angel ran into Faith, probably as a kid, and saved her from something or someone."
Angel, taking a breath to calm the demon inside, said to further explain: "I rescued her during a bad situation for me, which would of left her in an even more dangerous situation. I made a choice, and saved her and took her to safety. I thought that was the best thing for her at the time. But I guess it was not entirely all right."
"What happened," asked Oz, speaking up for the first time.
"I really feel that this is something that Faith and I should share, when the time is right," Angel said as he glanced at Buffy for her approval.
Buffy looked down in deep thought, before looking up. Her eyes showed her reservations, but she nodded her acceptance of what he asked.
With a faint smile of thanks, Angel gently brushed Buffy's cheek.
Willow, interrupting the tender moment, said, "Shouldn't we go and make sure that Faith is alright? Where would she go, anyway?"
Silence filled the room as each person looked at each other with no immediate clue.
Willow then said, "Well, since no one seems to know, I'll go and look."
Maeve said, speaking with authority, "No, I have a good idea of where she is and what she may be going through at this moment... I will go." She then looked at Angel, her gaze uncertain. "Will that be alright Angel?"
Angel looked into Maeve's eyes, and nodded his consent.