The musty smell of the cemetery gave a sense of security to Faith, but didn't lighten her mood. The intensity of what happened between her and Angel played in her mind like a hammer hitting a nail.
Why? Why now could he come back into my life and destroy what sanity that I still have? she thought as she slid down the side of a mausoleum, tears falling down her face.
"Why?"
"Why indeed?" A woman's voice replied, startling Faith. Faith quickly turned in the direction of the voice and recognized that it was Maeve.
"What do you want?" Faith said, lifting her hands to wipe away the tears that moistened her face.
"I understand what you are going through. It is difficult for someone so young to understand why things were done in the past. It brings torment to a soul without someone to guide them through the toughest parts."
Faith felt her anger rising as she snapped at the Watcher, "You were not there! Did Angel send you here to torment me more?"
"No, it was more by mutual agreement. I am only here to listen and guide you through this. I too understand the effects of Angel's reactions on a person's life."
Faith gazed at Maeve, as said Watcher seemed to stare beyond her with memories that were from times past. "It seems you have had some bad experience with him too. But nothing seems to compare to how he destroyed my life."
"Yes, he did touch my life. But perhaps another time I will tell you about my own experience, I am here, now, to help you. If you want my help?"
"At this point I don't know what I want. No…I want him dead! But yet I am so glad to see him, and want to hold him. I hate him! And yet I love him like the savior that he was at that moment. I am so confused."
"Then, tell me what happened that night."
Faith expression became distant, as she began to recall and tell Maeve what had happened.
New York, 12 years ago
My parents and I were coming home from the movies. We had heard some loud noises coming from behind us and my father went to investigate. My mother protested, but was concerned for the man that lay on the ground.
That was when the two men turned and looked at us. They looked like monsters, and they scared me. They came towards us. They brutally attacked my father. All the red color surrounding him! I heard a snapping sound, then he fell to the ground…unmoving. I can still here my mother's screams.
That is when the two monsters grabbed her. They played with my mother. Tossing her back and forth between them. She continued screaming, as they hit her and scratched her. All the blood! I stood there in horror, watching what they did.
"Janet, run!" My mother yelled.
But I couldn't. I was frozen in place. Just…watching what was happening. Then I saw her body go limp. It was over for my mother.
But as for the man that lied on the ground? He was moving. His eyes were open and staring at what was happening. I don't know why he didn't stop it. He could of stopped it. But he just lied there staring at what was happening.
I saw the grins on their faces as they seemed to fly in the air with one step. I tried to turn and run. But they had me. Tossing me back and forth as if I were a rag doll. Their laughter still runs chills through my body.
They began to fight over me. Beginning to hurt me, just like they did my mother. I hurt all over. I could feel the warmth of my own blood beginning to run down my face.
That is when I heard the voice of an angel…as he moaned loudly in torment.
"So, you are awake," I looked over to see the man that had been on the ground stagger to his feet, a hand pressed over his stomach in obvious pain.
I felt their eyes on me. I could only feel terror of what could happen to me next. What they said only made me…curious. "Why don't we give him the girl? She's too puny to divide up anyway."
"Exactly what I was thinking," said the first monster. I suddenly felt my body being hurled into the air with such force. But I was thrown to the air…into the waiting arms of a savior. He caught me with great ease. I could not believe he could catch me like that. I felt his body embrace me to secure me to him. I could smell him, he smelled so strong, but so gentle.
That is when the one who threw me laughed, and the other one said, "Drink up! It's on us."
I looked up into his face and saw the faint points of two sharp teeth slightly protruding from his gentle lips as he spoke, "And if I don't? What will you do?"
The laughter stopped, before the first monster seemed to roar out so loudly -- but so silently for only us to hear, "Then we'll take her and use her for our own enjoyment…and you will find yourself in the sun at sunrise."
I could feel the tension rising within my savior, but fear was beginning to overwhelm me. That is when he turned around 'til his back was to the monsters. I could feel his mouth close to my ear, as I heard him whisper, "I want to get you out of here alive. In order to do that, you must close your eyes, and don't move until I say so."
I was so scared -- almost frozen -- I tried to do as he asked. But I peeked to see before me an angel. The full moon encircled his face leaving only the soft shadows of his angelic features. He was so beautiful at that moment! I had no fear. I can still clearly see that image in my mind. I didn't want him to let me down, but I played my part and laid there without moving. I felt him move and stand. Then I heard him speak, "I did what you said, now go. I'll take care of the bodies."
For a long moment I laid there, then I heard the monsters' laughter. They then left us alone. I felt the angel kneel beside me again. His hand gently caressed my face to let me know that everything was safe. He lifted me into his arms, and whispered, "I'm taking you to a safe place."
After sometime, he put me down. We were standing in front of this church that was open really late. I stood there on the steps in front of him, gazing up at him curiously.
"Are you an angel," I asked him
He turned his face away from my gaze. But not before I saw the flash of pain in his eyes. He gazed at the church, and whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, "No."
"Yes you are! You're my guardian angel," I insisted. He had to be my own special angel. Only an angel could be as beautiful as he.
My angel sighed deeply, then dropped down on one knee, and placed his hands on my shoulders. Quietly, he asked me, "What's your name, Little One?"
"Janet," I answered. I was pleased he would ask me for my name.
"Janet, listen to me. I am not an angel, nor am I your guardian angel." He paused, clearly thinking before he said, "But I think you do have some sort of protector out there. You shouldn't have survived what happened tonight…but here you are." He smiled faintly. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. He had to be an angel! "Have faith that you will find your protector, Janet. I have no doubt that you will meet that person or being someday."
I watched him leave down the steps of the church, tears began to run down my face as I let the image of the horror that happened that evening run through my mind. I may have no one…but I will never forget my angel.
Silence fell. The only sounds were the sounds of the night.
"So," Faith whispered into that silence, her voice like that of a lost and lonely child's, "can you now claim to understand me?"
In the shadows (unseen and unfelt by the Slayer), the souled vampire watched, blood-tears freely falling down his face.
If only had I known, he thought. Could I have changed what happened that night? No, I too, was in danger.
As he stood there, a feeling of love and comfort flowed through him.
"Buffy," he thought to his soulmate.
"Thought you needed a little support, Love," Buffy replied
He sent a feeling of love and understanding to his Beloved, and quietly whispered within his mind and out-loud, "Thank you."
"Go to her. You have to keep trying."
Angel drew a long breath to gather his courage. Someway he had to make her understand what happened that night was the best for her and him. He slowly turned towards Faith and Maeve. I must continue to try.
Faith sat on the ground, looking up at Maeve, when she felt something. Something like a vampire…yet it wasn't. It was something that was familiar. She looked around and tried to focus on the area that she thought the feeling was coming from. Near a tree, a shadow moved. Angel stepped out from the darkness. Faith turned to Maeve, accusation in her eyes. She felt betrayed by Angel's presence.
She did not like the feeling of being weak around anyone, especially with Angel right now. This left her heart open to how Angel was feeling. She could sense his sorrow and began to hear the words he did not speak.
"So, is this what you would call being a sympathetic ear!" Faith hissed.
"Faith, trust in Angel. Find what made sense that night. I am here to help guide you both through this." Maeve turned to Angel and nodded to say to try to work it out with Faith.
Angel, with a heavy heart, looked down at this lost child. How much she has grown. And how much I must repair.
Angel walked towards Faith, his eyes filled with such sadness. Faith drew up and hugged her knees as Angel knelt down beside her. Gently, he reached out a hand, and brushed some hair away from Faith's face.
"I never meant for you to know such a life, nor did I ever mean for you to think of me as this angelic being."
As if to make Angel feel what she felt, Faith said, "I was a 6 year old child! What do you think a child would think when someone comes and rescues them from death mere seconds before it happens?"
This made Angel jump back in shock, eyes wide, before he began to shake his head in denial. "No," he whispered.
"I don't know how, but at that moment when I looked up and saw you for the first time, I felt connected to you. I knew that I would see you again. You are my guardian, Angel. You always were, from that moment forth."
Angel lowered his eyes away from Faith's wide-eyed and innocent gaze, unable to look at her.
"I am not much of a guardian, then," he whispered, "to have left you as I did."
Faith unknowingly started to reach a hand out to Angel to comfort him, but stopped as she realized what she was doing. In confusion, Faith asked Angel, "How can I sense your emotions?"
"I don't know," Angel replied, then said and asked, "But I can feel yours as well. How is this possible?"
Maeve gazed silently at the two supernatural personages, then said, "You are linked through your common experience. This is a link that you both unknowingly created. It is also through this link that you both have been brought to this moment, as was prophesied.
"You both must let down the walls that keep you from working this out. Angel: your guilt has led to your feelings of abandonment towards Faith. Faith: it is your feelings of trust that have been wounded. For you both to accept the present situation you must accept what has happened to you both and come to some closure."
With equal expressions of shock, Angel and Faith looked at Maeve, then at each other.
Faith stood up and backed away from Angel, anger replacing the shock. She sneered, and said defensively, "I don't need to trust anyone! I do fine on my own, that is how it has always been and that is how it will always be!"
Angel stood, and with a low growl said, "No. You will never remain alone. No matter how much you wish it, others will drag you into their world. You might go in kicking and fighting, but in the end…you will not be alone."
In a moment of weakness, she almost gave into those words. But somewhere inside she felt betrayed. Regathering the moment, she felt the Slayer within her awakening, before replying, "Right now, I don't know how to let you back in my life."
Angel, his face blank, reached out and firmly -- but gently -- grabbed Faith's arm, and softly said, "You are never alone. I may not have been the one with you, but somehow you knew that I was with you. How else do you explain how you have survived to meet me again? There are powers greater than us at work here."
Faith searched her heart, through all the pain -- through her Slayer's instinct -- to her soul, she knew that he was there. He was the one who gave her the strength to move forward in her life. At that moment she felt her heart soften. It was the first time in her life that she had allowed someone to get to her. Her eyes began to fill with tears as she looked up -- deep within the vampire's tender soul-filled eyes -- and saw the angel she saw that night.
Angel swallowed thickly. He saw before him the young girl that he had saved over a decade ago. Angel withdrew his hand, and was about to speak…when images flooded his mind: the library, Giles and the Scooby Gang, then demons and vampires destroying anything in their way to get to the one whose vision Angel was seeing through.
In agonizing fear, Buffy called out to her soulmate…and unknowingly to her fellow Slayer.
"ANGEL!"
Faith shuddered and grabbed Angel as he collapsed to his knees. She held him close to keep him from collapsing completely to the ground from the force of that shout. Faith tossed her hair away from her face, then said to Maeve, terror in her voice, "Something's wrong. Buffy's in trouble!"
Across town, in the Sunnydale High School Library, a war was being waged…and lost.