Why One Does Not Mess with Red Heads
A/N- Hey everyone… just a warning… this chapter may seem a bit weird but in an odd way it was fun to write and it really prepares us for the next chapter that really prepares us for the chapter afterwards! I think chapter five will come soon (if reviews happen to come of course… ;) Hehe!) So I hope you will please give it a chance and continue reading QoF (nice abbreviation huh?) and leave me a review for what you think of it- remember there is always the editing process that can take place to make it better- but I won't know unless you guys tell me!
Summary- Life for Lily Evans is full of so many unexpected paradoxes, especially when James big-headed Potter is concerned. Told in the form of Quiditch commentary, fiery arguments, dating profiles, Slug Club conversations, cheesy love-songs, lame-jokes, diary entries, detentions, pranks, and notes passed during class along with a lot of humor and romance you learn just exactly how come.
(I hope this can be the last time I need to paste the full summary! Everyone okay with that? readers nod Great!)
Dedicated to the HMS Marauders… you are absolutely my 'muses' along with the class of '09 at HMS… how I miss you all so much! (Kels keep reading and you'll see how much u guys affect the dialogue!) And also to all those who reviewed my last chapter (which I wasn't too sure about) and made me so excited to continue this story.
Onwards….
---
Lily was mad now… seriously furious. From the doorway outside of the potion's room she pointed her wand at Potter's table full of ingredients and in one swift move made them all fall to the ground.
Yes an easy way to get someone like James Potter away from his comrades who normally stick together like their lives depend on it- or their reputation which ever was more important to them Lily couldn't tell.
She heard him sending the other two away saying something about taking a secret passage way there. (Secret passage way, those idiots were probably some of the only students to ever figure out most of Hogwarts' secrets… Lily did manage to find a couple but she knew they knew way more then they let on- and their inflated egos made them let on a lot so that was saying something.) And as Remus and Black made their way out of the room (Black was throwing something around that looked oddly like a shrunken head- but everyone knew those were strictly forbidden by Filch- and because of that Lily was now absolutely sure Black was throwing a shrunken head.)
Slughorne was now in his office and Lily walked back into the classroom and faced the bent-on-one-knee-picking/scraping-up-ingredients-off-the-floor.
James looked up to see a very irritated looking Evans with her hands crossed staring at him. Picking up one of the ring worms (works wonders in sleeping drafts) and looked up at her giving her a cocky smile, "Marry me Evans?"
"In you dreams," she growled pulling up by the collar.
"Kind of close isn't it Evans?" James said pretty sure why she was confronting him, and it wasn't because she had any plans of closing the handful of inches between them.
For 'enemies' the two had been very close together before… just not in the other sort of way. More in the 'don't make me seriously hurt you- and Sirius just shut-up with the puns' sort of way. As if she knew what he was thinking she quickly pushed him away.
"Potter you have some sort of nerve really, don't you ever get sick of being such an idiot?"
"Evans I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about… I don't think I seriously did any thing to offend anyone all day."
"Oh and Severus Snape is no one?"
"Exactly Evans, you finally see my point!"
"Shut up Potter-" and now James knew she was going to start one of those shouting-back-and-forth-fests that made them both angry and red faced and nothing ever got accomplished except the point that they both-despise-one-another-completely is proven.
"I really don't know what joy you get out of your pathetic 'pranks' but just because you don't have any skill doesn't mean you can be so low! It's almost like you're jealous and to prove to yourself that you're better you have to bring him down!"
"O Evans I don't need to prove to myself or anyone that I'm better- I know I am. You can't seriously say you don't see that. Besides I don't think you are well above pranks yourself- in our last six years I think you have done at least a dozen pranks yearly on me! You are no saint Evans!" Well a poor come back but he was caught unaware… normally he had five minutes at the least- and Lily was more or less prepared for this particular shouting fast.
"I Potter never do it because I just don't like the fact you exist… wait I do that too… but Potter there is a fine line between making every chair you sit in break and thoroughly humiliating someone and enjoying it thoroughly," she shouted back at him, and then added in a volume one pitch lower, "besides you turn the whole school against your victims specifically Snape… I never do that to you. I wouldn't even if I could- but not saying I don't want to- but I wouldn't it's sick ruining someone's life like that again and again. Don't you get it or is that messy batch of hair disabling anything from getting into that thick head of yours?
That might have been the closest Evans ever came to admitting something along the lines of that he was extremely popular and even if he gets pranked on everyone will laugh it off- he could work it to his advantage… Snape would never even get the chance to try it.
"Well why do you have to protect Snivellus all the time? I mean the one who continuously calls you… that thing! And you're standing up for him. Believe me he is revolting and I guess you just can't see it… all of those Slytherins are, they'll probably join the-"
"And you are just as bad as them then by assuming that Potter," she snarled, yes believe it or not Lily Evans can snarl during these fighting-match-fest things (but no one would believe him after wards- 'Lily wouldn't snarl!' What is she like an angel who doesn't snarl or something? James would really like to take a picture of the snarling Lily to prove Evans does snarl!) … "Worse even, if you feel so strongly about that do you really think you're proving anything by making them tap dance or blurting out a couple of secrets? You're just doing it for your own sick pleasure just like the Deatheaters do! Pointless discrimination Potter… you're worse then them!"
"Don't you dare compare me to Snivellus! I'd never…" and for the first time it seemed James Potter was at lost for words.
"Well I wouldn't unless I had a reason to Potter." She snarled (she snarled- again James would really like to point out- but oh no remember angels don't grimace…) back at him staring him in the eye with her deep green ones…
When James was five he ate this old rice pudding that was a good couple of weeks past its would-be-if-home-made-deserts-had-it expiration date. It was more or less the worst stomach flu he ever experienced… and looking at Lily in the eye like that made him feel the same way… his stomach lurching and feeling all jittery and stuff like that? What the heck was so special about Evans that made the boy who could practically get any girl feel this way...
But the thing was that he didn't really like her… of course he didn't… it was all a big joke- the James actually liking her thing. Well then now he really was at a lost for what to say… so he must do what we would all do in a position like this- completely change the subject.
"Well Evans you know you don't need to keep doing this all the time… if you really do like me just tell me," he sneered. (Hey if Evans can snarl he can sneer… maybe next time they could have a scowling competition!) "You don't need to keep coming up with these stupid excuses to talk to me. Come on Evans ask me out."
"Yah Potter you're right," she said giving him a look of pure loathing before shouting, "GET OUT!"
He was about to get about getting out when he remembered-
"Wait you have no right to ask me out of the potions room!" he yelled back- now to her retreating back muttering something along the lines of 'you'll never get it Potter… you'll just never grow up…"
And thus ended another legendry argument between Potter and Evans because that's what they'll always do- argue… because they are so alike but then again so different. And that's what makes them incapable of being anything more then enemies- but those words she said really hit him in a way 'just as bad as them'… that being what James thought as he made his hand move through his hair in a disgruntled manor while he saw Lily's fiery dancing red hair leave the class room… darn that fiery dancing red hair.
--
Lily found herself fuming all the way back to the Great Hall and sitting between Emma and Evelyn, across from Genevieve. Emma wasn't in potions, she despised the subject completely and it wasn't that she thoroughly sucked. With her blonde hair and blue eyes she looked like the type of girls Black was known to date but Emma had something the others didn't, brains and a personality.
Though she did date Black back in fifth year and really kind of regretted it calling him beyond shallow because of the fact that he forgot the next day that they were suppose to be going steady.
"You're upset," Genevieve observed before spooning in a forkful of mashed potatoes- a spooning a forkful…
"Wow Genna- what perceptive you have!" Lily snapped.
"How much do you want to bet it's Potter?" Evelyn chuckled. "It's like they're already married… making each other miserable and all."
"You're not helping," Emma (being one of the only ones who shares Lily's 'pain' in how utterly stupid the Marauders are) said finishing for her patting Lily on the head sympathetically… or what would be sympathetic if Lily was three and her ice cream cone fell down…
--
James made his way in a very agitated mood sitting down with the other three Marauders.
"You're late," Sirius said.
"Bite me."
"No I rather not… but on that note with or without rabies," he said giving a dog-like-bark laugh… which oddly he had pre-fifth year…
"Lily mad at you?" Remus asked in a half sympathetic, half amused voice.
James groaned again… how does everyone know this Lily thing? And he thought he was being really discrete where his emotions- non-existent emotions, that is, were concerned…
OoOoO
Dear Diary,
Okay I know I really don't write in you like I ought to but my cousin Gabrielle once said that writing out what was annoying her really helped her when she was sixteen which she says is one of the most confusing age possible. Well Gabrielle also said that she could fly and jumped off the roof later that day during the family-reunion picnic. No one took Gabrielle to the family picnic last year. But whatever I'm going to take the half crazy Gabrielle's idea and write in you because I am really annoyed right now… Seriously disturbed and no I am not about to jump of the North Tower or anything like that.
But before I get started I think I will give you a name! I mean like Anne Frank named her diary before she knew it was going to be published and read by a million billion people, so you know why can't I? Huh? Huh diary got any reason I can't? Oh I don't hear you! See you couldn't think of one! Wait you just so happen to be an inanimate object… Yikes I'm talking (well writing really) to inanimate objects… I'm as crazy as Cousin Gabrielle aren't I? Well I will name you Felicity. I have an odd liking for the name Felicity. So how do you like being Christened Felicity? Well you better like it because you have no choice in the matter to tell you honestly.
So anyways it's not my relationship or love life (or lack there of one) that's really bugging me it's one of my best friends'- Lily Evans. A really witty intelligent sort of girl and a fantastic friend but really she is totally clueless when it comes to controlling her self when this one boy, James Potter who's really witty and intelligent himself is concerned.
No Diary she is not throwing herself at his feet or swooning over him like the other masses of brainless idiots but she despises him but in doing so she more or less is giving him momentum in my opinion.
Want to know how Felicity? Well guess what I'm going to tell you.
She hates his guts- his arrogant ways she says. He points his wand at people for no good reason or just to prove he can but the thing is that she then directs her attention right at him and scold him etc. and that's just what he wants.
You see Felicity no matter how much he tries to deny it he more or less is crazy about her. It's so obvious. So it's like "Bad James… stop it now! Don't do it again!" and of course he does it again because if he doesn't what other reason would she have for paying attention to him? I mean the only way she pay attention to him is if he bugs her! So you see no matter how much I tell her that she says that simply isn't the case.
It's almost like she likes fighting with him- because she likes him or something but when I suggested that she looked completely horrified
She says the reason she keeps doing it is because somebody has to and in a way she's the only one able and willing to.
Well you see if one of your best friends is completely obsessed half of the time about an annoying prat and she doesn't even realize it how would you feel? Well you may not really know since I happen to be the only friend you most likely will ever have! Sorry about that but I can't let anyone else write in you because you happen to be mine, and no Felicity I'm NOT being possessive or anything.
And don't get me wrong Lily is an awesome friend and everything but we really have to do something about it. We being the rest of the girls and I not you Felicity- sorry but I don't think you can really help- can you seeing that you happen to have no legs and stuff and well aren't even real.
God I am as crazy as Cousin Gabrielle…
Your (only) friend,
Genevieve Woods
OoOoO
Okay let's get this straight the last full moon was last week so next month there will be a full moon on the… crap, wait this cannot be right…Wait let me check on another calendar… maybe this one is messed up! If one wasn't bad enough… where the heck am I suppose to find excuses for two? Next month there are two full moons… just great I'm just going to adore April. One in the beginning of the month and one at the end. Oh fun, fun, fun… double the feeling of your skin being ripped apart and being turned inside out! Well Sirius will be happy. He loves these full moon things. But I dare say I'm being sour towards him right now in thinking so but I find a good deal of thrills in them too… the feeling seems to be lessened when you are surrounded by your friends in animal forms awaiting to go on some other adventure of some sorts or find some other nook or cranny in the castle. Oh I know it's wrong, I have enough moral to figure that out but still it still seems wrong that I got bitten now doesn't it? And we have had a couple of close calls but nothing terribly bad right? A couple accidents only happen once in a blue moon? Get it? Ha ha- once in a blue moon? Well yes there was a bit of sour humor. Now Dumbledore told me back in first year to use this 'journal' to record the days of the full moon etc. to avoid any accidents on my part and here I am using it as a journal. I am pathetic. Well it never hurts, a good excuse to spend time to myself every now and then when the other guys are over caffeinated. And escape James' constant blabbering about Lily not really hating him after Sirius said she did. 'Oh no she just put slime I in my hair that wouldn't go away for weeks not because she hated me, but because it was a good prank- don't you agree?- and she had to test it on someone so she happened to think my hair was a good candidate! That's not hating me- that's just being innovative really!' Yes this is the same 'it's all good' James Potter talking… what am I going to do with him?
Remus grumbled before placing his quill down and circling the dates of the full moon on his calendar muttering from behind the drawn drapes around his bed about 'idiot friends not being able to control their freaking hormones'.
OoOoO
Dear Diary,
Sorry I skipped a day in between but I felt sick last night and I wasn't feeling up to writing. But you can forgive me right since I have been more or less religiously writing in you every day since first year, right? I think I only have skipped five days or so since then. But now it's more important then ever that I write in you Diary. It's him again.
Sirius Black, that idiot who plays girls like a harp. Oh no his nagging flirting doesn't bother me any more- I've moved on but it's his idiot friend the one and only James Potter. I've told you a million times about him and Lily. The thing is he's way too much like Sirius. They're two peas in a pod more or less (great time to use that phrase for the first time in my life, huh?) and well this continuous hunting down of Lily- well no matter how strong her walls are nobody's are that strong… she'll let him in one of these days… I just know it… but I don't know that he's insincere or anything… but I can guess he's not one for commitment like Sirius… I mean he is sixteen and if his past record is anything to go by… Well I just don't want one of my best friends to have to deal with that. I cannot let her have to go through the same thing. I mean I'm over it but I practically put myself in that situation, but Lily?
Remember the next day after we went 'steady' he simply seemed to forget because he was snogging that Steph something or another. Either he has a really bad memory or the shallow freak doesn't care… really I wasn't that hurt- I wasn't expecting more of him… but my only regret was that he was a good snog…
And that's how I became another addition into Sirius' little black book if he takes enough time to actually write in one but his 'relationships' are so short I don't think he even remembers three fourths of them… but to my most misfortune he remembers me…
Lily once told me she had this rule, Diary. Never to date any guy who keeps pursuing you- because normally they are just in it for the chase… they get bored easily. Well she might have been over exaggerating and categorizing but the thing is it has some truth in it.
Well I'm worrying for no good reason because A.) Lily simply loathes James Potter and B.) Lily can take care of herself; I need not worry about that.
Well then I better go to sleep- stupid transfiguration test tomorrow… McGonagall would rather bite her own fingers off rather then let us have an easy pass.
Emma
OoOoO
I woke up then I was surrounded by all these girls that were really beautiful with long blonde hair and they started singing this really pretty sounding stuff. Well since it sounded so good that I thought I'd get a closer look at them well when I tried to move out of my covers on my bed suddenly the whole bed fell in a deep dark ditch at least fifteen feet deep. But I didn't fall into the next floor or something but the place looked like the type of holes buried for graves- worms were even sticking out of the walls. And I looked up and the pretty blonde girls- I don't think they were human… I think there was a name for them Veels… or Visas… or something… and there surrounding the whole with them was James and Sirius and Remus just standing there laughing not noticing that I'm in the deep pit… and James was talking to this one that didn't have blonde hair- she had red hair that looked kind of like- Lily's! That's who that veal looked like Lily! And then suddenly I screamed and the ground shook and they all fell in the pit but then a hole grew where I (and the bed) was and it was deeper and I fell too… So from my hole I saw them fall in the ditch but not in the hole in the center of the ditch but around the hole. Suddenly Sirius made these red brooms appear out of nowhere and he and Remus and James and the Lily-veal and the other ones all flew out leaving me in the hole all by my self in my rather comfortable bed that had tortillas chips in it but no salsa! So I went back to sleep in the bed in the deep hole with out salsa.
I think this dream means that I have to go into the kitchens and get salsa to keep in my dormitory so I never end up having chips but no dip.
Peter put his quill down and shut the still wet page in his 'Dream Diary' muttering about how it was so stupid his mum made him still take Divination. She said something about it being important to have as many OWLS as possible no matter what the subject… or something along those lines…
OoOoO
Evelyn used her quill to scratch her chin, eight inches on the charms used to guard the pyramids of Egypt and how they can be used in everyday life. How could a couple of locking charms and turn-unsuspecting-Muggle-thieves-into-nasty-things charms be so hard to compare to her own life? Oh she remembered now, she didn't have a giant pyramid with some dead spoiled emperor to protect.
She asked Lily is she could look at hers for ideas. Twelve inches total in miniscule lettering- eight of which talked about how useful it would be for protecting-your-procession-unruly-classmates-and-add-to-the-protection-already-created-by-the-founders-who-did-not-trust-boys-and-very-rightly-so… Evelyn didn't need another guess to name the person Miss Evans was thinking about while writing those eight out of twelve pages of parchment.
That's right- James Potter…
Evelyn knew he wasn't that bad. And she would know- having practically grown up with him and knowing him like a brother. Both of prominent wizarding families their parents were close friends. But he really was over bearing in school, a big headed idiot… a complete opposite of what he would be around the Potters… a complete chivalrous young pure blood.
Chivalrous… well mannered… gallant… and well behaved, courteous and polite… if only Lily got to see a load of him around his parents… she wouldn't stop laughing for weeks. Which wasn't such a bad idea really… though they visited each other tons of times during the summer they never managed to be together when the Potters were over… well maybe it was for the best… she didn't need her best friend dying of laughter now, did she?
OoOoO
-Pants on fire
-Ants in pants…
-Aunts in pants
-Raid Slytherin common room again (no it's getting a bit boring and unimaginative).
-Tell Snape Lily has come to confess her undying affection for him and he should approach her and tell her of his true feelings by- (no wait James would seriously no pun intended this time kill me... it could be funny though… no James would seriously kill me…)
-Large all-Slytherin conga line around the great hall- Snivellus being the leader
-Malfoy singing the National Anthem (wait what's the national anthem?) Figure out what the national anthem is at the library? Wait ask Lily what it is…
Sirius sighed over dramatically scribbling all his prank ideas out '… no, no, no… none of this is right… all too juvenile! For crying out loud I'm seventeen now- I need a bit more flair'… he glanced at his calendar, almost the full moon. Wouldn't Snivellus like to know what the Marauders do around that time huh? Wait… Snivellus would like to know wouldn't he? Was Sirius a genius or what? He quickly scribbled on the bottom of the parchment.
-Tell Snape exactly what happens on full moons…
Hey guys I WAS going to post this yesterday but my stupid internet connection wouldn't allow it! You see I'm on 'vacation' and here I have dial-up for my lap top so I can only go on at night after ten so no one misses any calls! So it was ready to post sooner- but as you can see wasn't! Oh well… it was good I got to go back and edit and make some things go a bit smoother! I hope it wasn't too hard or boring to read! It was really fun to write- I started from the middle (Genna's diary entry) and worked my way to the end then wrote the beginning!
In a weird way this chapter was written so you get introduced to all the characters better and how Lily and James's non-existent-relationship is affecting their friends a lot more then they realize… even our least-favorite Marauder gets what's going on (at least in his subconscious mind!)
So THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER! THEY MAKE ME WANT TO KEEP WRITING SO MUCH! AND THEY GIVE ME SO MANY IDEAS… including the next chapter! SO PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING AND READING BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR STORY!
Hey could you leave me a review and tell me who your favorite characters are in this story including OCs? If you could that would be fantastic!
Like always,
TajM
TO COME! (I know I keep changing the chapter names so I won't even guess but I think it will concern blue moons!)
-A full moon for real!
-A birthday for a certain main character…
-And this-
'Lily grabbed him by his scarlet and gold tie furiously bringing him close to her and placed her lips upon those of James Potter…'
YES YOU WANT TO READ THIS! ;)