Title: The Ratings Game

Author: Ellex

Rated: 10+ (PG)

Disclaimer: Stargate:Atlantis does not belong to me and I make no material profit from messing around with it.

Feedback: Uh, if you want to. I'm kinda scared to ask for it on this one.

Archive: See Feedback.

Summary: A couple of nameless background Marines rate the hotness of some of the Expedition members.

A/N: This is apparently Shelly's (Merlin7) fault. Ashley (Cynical Coat) offered to write a fic to request, and Shelly suggested something to do with rating the hotness of various characters on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the best. My warped and sleep-deprived brain went to work and came up with this pretty much instantly. I promise to write a sequel listing the guys. Tomorrow.

And no, it won't cut into finishing Invulnerable. All but the last chapter is finished.

Marine1: Teyla's a 10. No question.

Marine2: I don't know about that. She's kinda intimidating. I'd subtract at least two points for unapproachability.

M1: Is that actually a word?

M2: It is now.

M1: How about Weir? I'd give her seven. Pretty, makes an effort to be friendly, but bony. Nothing to hold on to. And did you see her that time with Kavanagh? Get on her bad side, and she'd hurt you worse than Teyla. Teyla would just smack you around a little. Weir would make it hurt for a long time.

M2: Yeah, seven sounds about right.

M1: Dr. Biro?

M2: Don't even go there. She can't shut up and she reminds me of my fifth grade history teacher.

M1: Ew.

M2: Did we do Heightmeyer? I'd give her a six.

M1: Why only six? She's gorgeous. Have you seen the way her hips swish when she walks?

M2: Yeah, but you'd always be thinking about what she might be thinking about you all the time.

M1: I'm not sure I understood that. But that finishes the list, right?

Marine3: So go on and rate the men now.

M2: I'm not sure I feel comfortable rating the men.

M3: Guys, if I have to listen to the two of you rating the women around here, you can at least do the men, too.

M2: You're just jealous.

M3: I notice you forgot to rate me.

M2: We don't really think of you as a woman.

M1: Don't look at me. I wasn't rating you because...um, because I didn't think it would be polite, what with you standing right there and all...

(Marine3 leaves in a huff. Marine1 and Marine2 look relieved until...)

M3: Don't think I'll forget this!

TBC