Dark Horizon

Note: Sorry that it's taken so long, but I hope you enjoy this next chapter of Dark Horizon! Review it for me, okay?

Chapter Five: Breaking Point

At last night came, and she left the bookstore to walk home in the dark night. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… staying out this late… she thought, envisioning several unpleasant circumstances for being alone in the woods this late. As luck would have it, she only ran into a few animals, which, besides nearly giving her a heart attack, did no harm. The shack looked like heaven compared to the jumpiness of the woods.

Still, as she drifted off to sleep, she couldn't help but wish she was somewhere else… somewhere warm and friendly… somewhere surrounded by friends. The friends she could never have again.

"Kara, your mommy isn't here anymore. I know you loved her very much, and so did I, but she had to leave us. She went to a better, happier place in the sky. But you still have your Daddy."

Although she was young, and could not yet speak, the question in Kara's eyes was clear.

"And I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

If by anytime soon, he meant not anytime in the next few years, then he was right. But he'd meant he wanted to be there for her for a very long time. He'd wanted to see her grow into a young woman, see her mature, make friends, and go to her first prom, and all the other moments parents and children are supposed to share.

"They say that everyone around her gets sick… even her friends… I'm not taking a girl like that into my house."

"Yeah… and look at her… made of stone. Only a child, and yet not shedding a single tear at her father's funeral."

But Kara Silvers had used up all her tears. And she was trying to be strong, trying to understand.

"She's lucky her grandfather is willing to take her in… cursed child that she is… guess he figures he shouldn't burden us younger folks with early death."

They thought she hadn't heard. They sat there and smiled in her direction, but she knew what they were saying about her. And that's when she first began to wonder… if maybe she was cursed.

Kara shot straight up like a bullet, sweat beaded on her forehead and soaking her sleeping bag. Memories like that one often haunted her sleep, but the repetition didn't make them any less painful.

"Why must I remember these things? Every day and every night… the past is always there to haunt me. And it isn't just the things that people said and did… but what they were really thinking and feeling as well… How is that I know and remember so much? And why… why can't I forget?"

Naturally, there was no one there to answer her questions. No one had ever be able to do that. But still… having someone next to her trying to do so would have made her feel a whole lot better.

Shaking off those thoughts, she glanced at the clock to see that it was still early. She would never get back to sleep, though, so she tidied up the shack, her backpack, her homework and herself. With nothing left to tidy, she made herself a bowl of dry cereal and sat staring at it. It was dreary when she looked back at all of the things her grandfather, and her father before him, had prepared. And she'd just been learning to cook when grandfather died. Now it would seem that she was doomed to a life of meals that came in a box.

With a sigh, she ate it, knowing that she needed fuel for her school day. It tasted like, well, cereal. She didn't like it one bit, but maybe she was just being stubborn.

"Time to head out," she said, even though it was still a bit early to leave. She'd just walk really slow, and besides… she could use the extra time figuring out her locker.

It was strange, being all alone in the school hallway where she had first met Yuki, Hana, and Uo. It seemed so very empty without the students there.

This is the life that I have chosen. This is the only way that I can protect the ones I have come to care fort, or will come to care for in the future. I know that it will be harder, even, than I first thought, but… isn't it harder to watch the people I know and love hurt because of me? Because I was stupid enough to hope that this time, it might be different? If only they weren't trying so hard… if only they were all cruel hearted… and if only I wasn't so curious about the strange presences of Yuki and Kyo Sohma. And I'll admit… I have let myself grow quite fond of Yuki… he's been so nice to me… he even offered me, a strange girl who he barely knows, a place to stay.

She finally pulled the locker open and set her bag inside it, pulling out the things she needed for her first few classes.

If this is the best thing for everyone… then why has it left me so empty inside?

"Good morning, Miss Silvers," Yuki Sohma said from behind her.

"You keep sneaking up on me, Yuki," she said softly with a sigh. She was not in the mood to pretend to be happy, or deny that she wasn't like on so many other occasions. Today, she was upset, and it was going to have to show. She hadn't gotten enough sleep for that kind of denial and acting.

"Are you not feeling well?"

"Does it look like I'm feeling well?" she snapped. "I didn't get very much sleep, I'm miserable, my world has crashed and burned. Are you happy now?"

"Uh… Why would that-"

She sighed again and slammed her locker door shut. "Please leave me alone now, Yuki," she begged.

Confused, he left, leaving her alone to cool off and regret her actions, even though they should have made her happy. If she could keep it up, Yuki was safe.

And so my temper's back. I had wondered where it'd run off to. And he didn't even make fun of me. Apparently lack of sleep has returned me to normal.

She'd always had a bit of an anger management problem, linked most likely to the hardships she'd gone through so very early in life. Sometimes, she just snapped, and yelled at whoever dared to talk to her. But generally, that kind of rage came from being made fun of, or right after she'd had a particularly difficult time of it, whether at school or from the illness of everyone she cared for.

Seeing Yuki… when he snuck up on me like that… all cheery and indifferent… It made me realize how much I appreciate his being here. And I guess… I guess I couldn't bear to think about that… Because if I do… he'll get hurt. And Tohru, Hana, Uo, the fan club girls… even Kyo… they'd all be angry with me for that… not that it matters, since they too would be sick… maybe even dead.

"Do you see what you're doing?" she asked herself quietly. "Don't you understand what will happen if you let yourself care about these people?"

She could feel hot tears stinging her cheeks. I'm going to run,she realized just a moment before she dropped her books in the hall and ran back out the door. I can't face them today… but I don't think I can face those snakes either…

She didn't really know where her feet were taking her, where her numb mind would lead them… all she knew was that the pain was suddenly unbearable.

I've spent all this time trying to be strong… when really I was so afraid… I've been in denial for so long I've made the pain stronger… and now the walls are crumbling down around me.

……………………………

"Get up, Kara. Now is not the time to give up."

"But… I can't take this anymore… all of it… it hurts me too much, Grandpa."

"Kara Silvers, your father did not raise you to be a quitter. And even though he is gone, you still have me, and the memories of both of the parents who loved you so much."

"Grandpa… they died because of me… didn't they?"

"I don't believe in curses, Kara."

"But Grandpa… both of them… and then, my friends… you saw how sick they were."

He sighed and put a hand to his forehead, and that was when the little girl knew… he was afraid. Of her. Of dying. Of the idea of leaving this earth, and the granddaughter he had come to love.

She could have run away then, but her grandfather's words… they told her to keep going, to keep pretending that everything was all right. And up to the day he died, she had gone on believing.

……………………………

"Why did you tell me those things? That I shouldn't give up? That it wasn't my fault they were gone?"

She was now sitting in the dirt somewhere. Her clothes were torn and dirty, her eyes were surrounded by the wetness of tears that had caught dirt from the air and clung to her face. The thing was, she just couldn't muster the strength to care.

I truly am alone. And isn't that what I wanted?

"Was it all for nothing? Did I come here just to run away again? WHY AM I HERE?"

As if to complete her breakdown, rain started to fall from the sky, pounding in heavy droplets onto her body, soaking her through to the bone.

And then… she fell asleep, face down in the dirt, too exhausted by her own sadness , and of course the lack of sleep from the night before, even to move out of the path.

…………………………………

"Oh my my… there appears to be a girl lying in my way… whatever shall I do?"

Kara heard the voice but didn't open her eyes. It was so peaceful laying face down in the dirt… why should she get up and face reality again? Whoever the voice belonged to poked her.

"Are you awake? Better yet, are you even alive?"

Meeting this person, clearly male, about twenty-seven or so, could be an interesting experience. Now that she had gotten more sleep, she was feeling a bit more reasonable. She opened one eye and sat up, staring into the face of, you guessed it, a man around the age of twenty seven.

"Oh, good, you're alive. For a minute there, I was concerned that there might have been a murder on my property."

"I apologize… I guess I tripped and, well you can guess the rest," she lied quickly.

"Why don't you follow me and we'll get you all fixed up."

"No, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, her leg chose that moment to cave in, landing her in the mud.

"I doubt that. In my opinion, a young woman such as yourself should be thrilled by such hospitality coming from a-"

"Alright, I'll come with you… just don't ever finish that sentence," she said, trying at good humor to make herself seem less like a madwoman. She was feeling better now, and optimistic enough to know that antagonizing the locals was not a good idea.

"Ah, she has a sense of humor! Follow me, then."

End note: There's that for now. Please, please, please review!