Dark Horizon

Note: OMG, there are SO MANY reviews… I'm so happy I think I'll write non-stop for a little while! ((hugs her reviewers)) You guys are the best! Any way, I've gotten more pestering about pairings, so I'll give you guys a little hint, I'm a HUGE fan of love triangles, although in my case they generally get even more complicated than three people. And… unrequited love can be very painful to the soul. That is all I shall tell you. ((grins mischievously)) Enjoy this chapter everyone!

That night, Kara did not go to sleep when the others did. Instead, she stayed up, waiting, watching, and listening. Finally, all was silent, and the others had at last fallen asleep. Now was the time to go.

But she did not want to. Maybe… I'm weak… because I can't find the strength to go without tears… maybe… I'm just not strong enough to do what I must with full understanding… maybe… I want to stay…

Her hand hovered over the last bag, as if waiting for someone to stop her from picking it up. The only sound was Tohru's calm breathing in the bed. She wrapped her hand around the handle and lifted it up, careful not to make a sound.

This… is goodbye… Tohru… Yuki… Kyo… even Shigure. I regret that things… could not have been different, but this… this is goodbye.

Everything was in order. Her bags were packed, the household was slumbering, unaware, in their rooms. And she was dressed once again for travel. Everything was set… and yet…

She stood in the doorway, looking back at the table where she'd shared a few pleasant meals with the Sohmas. For just a moment, that night, she'd almost felt as if she belonged. And then…

"It was because of her… that girl… I know it was. The doctors say he was completely healthy… that he had a long time of life ahead of him. Only, his heart, his very life force, just… stopped"

"That child is cursed. I will not take her in to my house, to kill my family… no, she will not come to me."

"I'm not taking her."

"Neither am I."

"Not me."

"Then… there is not place for her. No place at all."

"And that's how it should be."

She shook her head and turned sharply, sliding the door gently into place as she left.

I can't stay here… even though I may want to.

The forest was silent, the moon a bright, pearlescent orb in the sky. She smiled sadly up at it, remembering that it had been full, too, when she first decided to run.

It's funny, but, since then… I haven't stopped running away. From home, from school, even from the shack.

For a moment, as she took one last look back at the house, she thought she saw movement on the roof, but then it was gone, and all was still again.

How would I feel, if I did stay? The time I would spend here, I know, would be great, but then, inevitably, they'd get sick. It would start with Tohru… and Yuki… Kyo… they'd never forgive me for that. Not that they'd have very long to be angry… How would I feel, when it was over? Would I be happy for the time we shared… or would I just be guilty, like before? Would it even matter that for once, I was happy… when it ended… when it ends… does the time we shared… with the people we love… really matter?

It was cold outside that night, and dark despite the moon's light. Her suitcases were heavy, and she had to stop in the middle of the woods to rest, sitting on the largest one.

Funny… it didn't seem like quite so much, last time…

The wind howled, sending a cascade of autumn leaves showering over her. A single tear showed brightly on her cheek, glowing like the moon itself.

I shouldn't be upset… I should be glad… for them… for the life that they can have… because I was strong enough to leave. I shouldn't cry. I won't.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to still the tears in her eyes. It was cold, it was dark… and once again, she was alone.

"Miss Silvers?"

"Ah! Yuki… what are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Oh… I guess you could." I didn't feel his presence… I didn't know he was coming… Why?

"I was gardening."

"In the woods?"

He smiled just a little. "My 'secret base'."

"Oh."

"Now you. What are you doing in the middle of the woods at night with all your things?"

"As if that's a difficult question to answer. Isn't it obvious? I'm running away… again."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Yuki… don't make me say it again… I have to… you know this."

"You're being ridiculous, Miss Silvers. You are not cursed. But you are going to catch cold if you stay out here."

"Stop it! Don't you get it! I'm leaving to help you! All of you! I'm going so that you, and Tohru, and Kyo and Shigure can go on with your lives… as if none of this ever happened… and as if I didn't exsist. Because… the only alternative is for me… to be happy for a few short years before… you die. And there might not even be a few years… the length seems to lessen each time." She took a deep breath, stared into the distance for a minute, and then said "You're a kind person, Yuki Sohma… it would be a shame for the world to be deprived of you because I wasn't strong enough to go."

It was clear in his eyes that Yuki was at a loss for words. The only thing visible in Kara's shielded gaze were her tears.

"There are times… when running away seems best… but perhaps you should try looking around you and seeing that what you have here and now… is what you want to have in your life."

"Those are beautiful words, Yuki… but… I just… can't…" Unable to hold in her tears any more, she once again broke down, this time letting every tear in her body and soul come out, dripping down her cheeks and into the cold ground. "This is me… this is how I'm going to be the rest of my life… but you… don't have to be this way… you have friends… and they… they aren't endangered just by knowing you."

A sense of irony seemed to radiate from Yuki, and she got a strong sense that he knew more about curses than he let on. She felt her curiosity rise, and tried her very hardest to choke it back, using past sadness and current tears to smother all other emotions. Because more than the irony, there was a sort of hesitation, a sorrow in his soul. To that she could relate more, and to that her soul responded by feeding her more tears when she'd thought she had none.

"Y-yuki… please leave. I'll be alright s-soon… when the tears stop… I'm going to get up… and walk away… and you… and Kyo… and Tohru and Shigure… are going to forget all about me… and go on living as you did before."

"Do you truly believe it works that way? That it's cut and dry, simple? That if you leave and everyone can just move on, and be happy?"

She looked up into his eyes, her own shining with tears, but otherwise dark so as to reveal none of their pain. "… that is what… I tell myself…"

"What about your friends? The ones you leave behind? They lose your friendship just as you lose theirs. So tell me this; is what you're doing truly selfless?"

She shuddered and wrapped her own arms around herself, trying to block out the coldness of his words. The truth. "It's… all that I can give…"

He put his hand out to her. "Look at yourself, Miss Silvers. Is this method really working? Why not try something else?"

Kara stared at his hand for several long moments.

"There is no place for her… No place at all."

She wanted to find a place where she could feel at home, where she could be loved, but the price was too high, for her, and especially for whoever she came to love, and who came to love her.

"And that's how it should be."

"Miss Silvers? Are you ready to go home?"

Home. That was all she really wanted. Was that too much to ask?

"I… am ready."

She put her hand in his, but stood on her own. She was not going to lean on anyone, because she knew that her choice would make everyone's lives more difficult, and perhaps even shorter. Someday, she would lose them to her curse… but every moment they had together was precious.

I will have to leave, eventually… let it not be their deaths that make it so… please… let it not be their deaths.

End note: There you have it, chapter eight. Review and tell me what you think!