Draco Malfoy paced the length his room, back and forth. His eyes were closed and when he felt his foot hit the wall he turned around and walked till he hit the other wall. His head hurt from thinking. Blaise sat on his bed watching him.
'He really does look like a lost puppy,' Blaise thought to himself. 'He not acting like the Draco I know'. "Something up Drake?" Draco just kept on walking. He really wished Blaise would leave. He was in desperate need of a little life reassurance. He just wanted to sit in his room and try to make it all go way.
'How could I be so stupid? You don't leave something like a journal just sitting around the house. Not when you have my father,' Draco sighed softly.
"Draco are you ignoring me?" Blaise demanded.
"Why are you here, Blaise?" Draco asked wearily, his eyes still closed.
"I just found something I thought you might want to see, but if you don't want to see it…" Blaise stood to leave. Before he reached the door, Draco grabbed his arm. "Oh, so you do want to see it."
"What is it?" Draco asked. He watched as Blaise pulled out a shrunken book, he muttered the enlargement spell and then opened it to the front-page. "Property of: Harry James Potter" was written on the front-page.
"Where you get this?" Draco screeched, yanking the book from Blaise's hands, turning it over.
"It was just lying on the floor near the stairs to Gryffindor tower." Blaise explain. "I guess he just dropped it."
"Get out!" Draco demanded.
"What! Why?"
"I wanna read it."
" So do I."
"No!" Draco screamed. "GET OUT!"
"I swear Draco ,what happen to you over the summer? Your not you anymore." Blaise sulked as he left. He didn't know how close to the truth he was. Draco had changed. If he knew what happen to the other boy, Blaise would've just dropped it.
Most kid as they get older, their parents gave them more respect. That wasn't so with Draco's father. He just got meaner and more controlling. Sure in public he spoiled him, as did his mother. They spoiled him rotten. That was until his father found out something he deemed very disturbing.
(A/N: I love Flashback…. just so you know…so here the ripples)
Flashback
"Draco Lucius Malfoy, get in here NOW!" Draco heard his father call and ran down the hall from the kitchen to his room where he heard his father's
voice. He stumbled into his room and saw his father sitting on the bed.
"Yes father?" he said weakly. He knew he was mad. He saw it in his eyes. They almost looked red with fury.
"What's this?" he asked calmly. Draco gulped softly.
"I don't know." he replied.
"So this isn't you name in here. Property Of: Draco Malfoy." Lucius growled, getting madder at the fact that he was lied to.
"Yes." Draco squeaked.
"So Draco, When were you planning on telling me that you're gay?" Lucius asked standing now. Draco stared up at his father and his knees knocked together in fear. "You were just going to let me think you were going to marry Pansy and here I find out your gay," Draco gulped with a squeak. "And to make it worse you're in love with HARRY BLOODY POTTER!" Lucius screamed."Are you absolutely mad?" Draco just stared at him. "ANSWER ME!"
"N…n…no." Draco stammered.
"Well you know what, son? You're still going to marry Pansy," Lucius seethed. He grabbed his son by the collar and proceeded to drag him out of the room, passing Narcissa on the way.
"Lucius, what are you doing?" Narcissa asked worried as her husband was dragging Draco.
"Your son" Lucius growled. "Is gay and in love with Harry Potter!"
"Is that really necessary to drag him like that?" Narcissa asked stomping her foot.
"He's in love with Harry Potter. He supposed to marry the Parkinson's daughter. He not supposed to be gay," Lucius spat scathingly, acting like a spoiled child.
"Stop it!" Narcissa demanded. "You're acting crazy!"
"He is the Malfoy heir. He can't be gay cause then I look like an idiot." Lucius growled.
"Where are you talking him?" Narcissa asked.
"Never you mind." He told her pushing her out of the way and kept walking. Draco recognized the hall as the ones that lead to the dungeons.
"Father, where are you taking me?" Draco started squirming in his father's grasp. Lucius simply tightened his hold on him.
"To the dungeon. No son of mine is going to be gay. You're lucky that I don't just disown you." Lucius told him.
"I don't want to go in there!" Draco tried to run but before he could his father had him in chokehold. With one hand around Draco's neck, he took Draco's wand and then shoved him into the cell. "Let me out! Father! Please let me out!"
" NO!" Lucius screamed. "You're staying in there, till you stop being gay or school starts which ever comes first." With that he walked away.
Flashback end
Draco had indeed stay in there till school started. His mother's gave him food but he wasn't allowed to leave. There wasn't even a bathroom and he couldn't change his clothes. The only thing he had was his razor that he bought recently at an old antique store. He had come accustomed to cutting himself just to make himself feel alive. He'd been in there for a month, with no one for company but the utter darkness. He felt so completely alone and dead. He even, in his misery, attempted to kill himself twice, his father preventing him by healing him both times. School started soon after.
Blaise was the only one who knew about him cutting himself, because he caught him one too many times. He had told him to stop but it wasn't
that easy. He didn't want to live anymore. If all he had to live for was to end up marrying Pansy that wasn't worth it. The only thing he had
left was his dreams, which would never come true, and a notebook full of Harry Potter. His mother had been so nice as to give it to him. He hadn't
written in it, while his father had him locked away because he couldn't see anything. He wrote in it, every chance he had now.
Now though, that didn't matter. In his hand he had Harry's notebook. His thoughts, dreams, feelings and hopes.
'Do I really want to read this? What if…if it's filled with how much he hates me? But then again, he's gay so maybe not.' Draco was pacing again. The book was held at arm length. Sitting down on the bed, he turned to one of the pages. "Here goes nothing."
January 5, 2003
I had Quidditch practice today. It was boring at first. We were training our new chasers, Ginny, Seamus and Hermione. I really can't believe Hermione
made the team. She doesn't or didn't even like Quidditch! or so I thought. Like I said it was boring at first. Then Draco came. He said that Snape gave
him a pass to use the field. Ron got mad at him and they started fighting. I kind of got mad to because he can be an arrogant git sometimes when he
starts up on how poor Ron is.
I guess I didn't need to say what I did. "Seems like someone wasn't loved enough as a child." It must have struck home because he came back with something worse than what I had said. "Just because you never had parents, don't take it out on me!" That was just mean though. I couldn't even let the love of my life say that. So I attacked him. I would have ripped him limb from limb but the need, the desire to just touch him took over. We literally rolled around on the ground for a good five minutes until Draco had me pinned under him.
His hands were wrapped around my neck, so it looked like he was choking me but he wasn't. I couldn't help it though my eyes closed, and my hand disappeared from beside me and I found it crawling around under the front of Draco's shirt. He just sat there too, until McGonagall came that is, and pulled him up off me. When I stood up, Hermione and Ron were being let go by Crabbe and Goyle. Ron looked furious and Hermione was looking at me strangely. I really have to figure out why.
Draco nearly screamed when he was finished reading but even though he didn't want to be, he was a Malfoy and Malfoy don't scream. 'He loves me! He loves me! He loves me! Why DOES HE LOVE ME?" There had to be something wrong here. Harry hated his guts. He couldn't have written this but that was how it had happened…Blaise must be trying to mess with him. There was no way in the world Harry Potter loved him!
"Blaise Zambini get in here!" Draco screamed. About a minute later Blaise was falling back into the room.
"So what was in it?" Blaise asked smiling.
"Why do you look like you know something I don't?" Draco asked suspiciously.
"That's because I happened read the first page and it turns out our little Harry Potter is in love with you." Blaise beamed. Draco hit him.
"You were not supposed to read it!" Draco whined.
"Oh well," Blaise shrugged. "So are you going to give it back to him?"
" No," he clutched the book to his chest.
"Draco, he'll want it back," Blaise smiled. "I know you want to keep it, but try and remember how you felt when your dad found yours." Draco glared at him. "Exactly. He's probably screaming and ranting around the whole of Gryffindor tower trying to find it and here you've found it."
"First you found it, and I still want read it." Draco pouted. "Can't I give it back later?"
"Draco…"
"Fine." Draco whined. "I'll give it to Granger…"
"Draco…"
"Hermione!" Draco practically screamed. " I'll give it to Hermione. Happy?"
"No."
"What do you want from me?" Draco complained.
"For you to give it to him in person."
"Are you crazy?"
"Yes, that's beside the point though," Blaise laughed. "Think of you can kick people out of and ask him to meet you there. If you play your cards right you might get just want you've been dreaming about."
"I hate you."
"I know."
"You think he'll actually go?"
"Yes."
"But what if it's not his journal?" Draco asked. "What if someone is trying to play a trick on me?"
"No one knows expect me and Hermione." Blaise reminded him. "So who would try and play a trick on Draco Malfoy. Unless they want
to be punished?"
"I really doubt I have the energy to do anything to anyone."
"You do know you're going to have to tell me what your father did to you when he found your notebook eventually." Blaise commanded. "I'm your best friend and have a right to know."
"But…"
"No buts!" Blaise interrupted. "You're going to write Harry a note now and then your going to tell me what happened."
"You don't want to know…"
"Start writing," Blaise demanded. Draco sat down in the desk by his bed and pulled out a piece of paper and quill. He looked up at Blaise "Write." He ordered. Draco eventually started to write. 'Geez, he's like a two year old. His old man must have done something really bad. It has to be bad if Drake's resorted to cutting himself. Of all people I know I never thought he would do something like that.' Draco finished writing and handed Blaise the note. Blaise read it aloud.
"Dear Harry. I mean hi. I mean yeah hi. I think your missing something and I have it. Your journal right. I…Blaise found it. So, meet me in the old Astronomy tower and I'll give it back. Okay? Okay. Draco." Blaise looked at Draco for a second. "Now that really doesn't sound like you and you know it."
"Well I'm not exactly myself this year." Draco whispered not looking at Blaise.
"You are going to tell me why you've been cutting yourself and your going to tell me now." Blaise ordered, Draco squirmed around his seat but eventually opened up told him what happened. He told him how he was locked in the dungeon in the dark with nothing but rats and his razor. And that the first time he ever cut himself was on accident. He had been throwing the dagger up in the air and he misjudged his catch and it had cut him. He had liked the feeling of blood dripping off his arm. He liked how even in the almost pitch dark he could still see the bright red color. He'd been in there so long he thought he was half dead or going mad and cutting had made him feel like he wasn't.
But then it had just gotten worse.
He remembered how his father said he was to marry Pansy, and in his desperation he had tried to kill himself. He guessed his mother had told his father that he was in the process of committing suicide because he had stepped in and healed every cut he made…both times he had tried to kill himself. When he was done Blaise was just staring at him.
"I would have never figured that." Blaise said softly. "Who's father locks them in a dungeon just because they're gay?"
"My father." Draco mumbled. Blaise stared at him for a moment then grabbed him and rolled up his shirt. Draco's arm was covered in cuts, old ones slightly scarring and fresh cuts still bleeding slightly.'Probably done before I had come in to his room' Draco yanked his arm back from him. "You're still doing it…" Blaise stated softly. "Why?"
"Because I need to." Draco replied not looking at him. "I can't help it…"
"Draco…"
"Just drop it please, Blaise!"
"Okay, Drake. You're going to have to stop sooner or later. Before you really do kill yourself, but I'll just leave you alone." Blaise dropped the subject. "Right now we're going to work on you're letter to Harry."
A/N: So why exactly does Hermione know. You find out. Next chapter. You learn something about Hermione that's well not very Hermione-ish. Oh and next chapter will be Harry point of view POV kind of not really.