Only Cowards Run.
Summary: Short drabble. Snape runs away after the murder. One Shot.
I have murdered. I look at my hands as if I expect them to be red and blood soaked. But their not, they are dirty from the fight I have fought, but blood soaked they are not. I silently curse every running step I take towards the gate, for I am not a coward, and only cowards run away.
The frigid cold air hits me in the face as I walk against the wind. It pushes me back, but I keep going forward, for only if I go forward will I see the future. I make my way to the now open gate and I go through it, through it like a door into another life. I feel like this is the door to dusk, the night coming being the most dangerous time of all. I step heavily onto the road, and I try to slow my pace, to try to prove, at least to myself, that I'm not running away.
Bushes rustle against me as I walk down the deserted road to my usual Apparation point. The place where my two lives meet. Now one of my lives is over, I won't feel too guilty running away from the other. I'll embrace it with open arms and try to make it a part of my life once more. The double life is over. I am no longer the go-between. I am Severus Snape, no-one more. I will never be rich, I will never be famous, and I will never be praised for doing something worthwhile.
People praise me when I murder. People praise me when I sin. But I still didn't run away from the mess I was in. Until now. And still, when I'm gone, people won't remember me as Severus Snape, the Potions Master, the only person I wanted to be. They'll remember me as the double-crosser, the murderer.
But I cannot deny it now. I am running. My pace quickens, my feet take great bounds, my breathing has turned to sharp gasps. I keep running forward, never looking back. I don't want to see that Dark Mark in the sky…it's proof. It's proof that it happened. It's proof that I murdered Albus Dumbledore. Even more importantly, it's proof that I'm running away. My cloak comes away, its clasp undone; let it go, I think, it's only a reminder of the past. Of the things I've done.
I remember that summer's day, sixteen years ago now…when he…Albus…told me to never forget who I was, and to not run away from whom I could be. And now I have failed him in more ways then one.
I find myself at the front of a small forest clearing, the light hurts my eyes, the sun has risen, the sky is pink, the sun is shining, and for some explicable reason, I discover I have not been running, only coming. This place is not that far from Hogsmeade, but secluded enough that no-one ever comes here. But I. I was meant to come here. The grass is lush and green, but there is still big overhanging tree branches providing me with shelter…some darkness in the light. It is dawn.
And I have come…to a place I could consider…well, I wouldn't be so over zealous to call it paradise, but I could call it home. For only here can I well and truly be Severus Snape, the man I was meant to be.
I have not failed. I have not run, I have come. For only cowards run, and I am no coward.
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A/N: Just so you know, I don't really think Snape is going to be living in a forest clearing in book 7. This is just a drabble. Please tell me what you think.
Thank for reading!
Thoughts and Pondering.