Chapter 11:

He had left sickbay without any other word of response – he hadn't been able to. He barely had his feelings under control, for he had never expected Trip to be that openly unfriendly, to accuse him for the fate he had ended up in. He had felt the urgent need to leave sickbay immediately and put as much distance between Trip and him as possible.

He needed time to adjust and think about what had just happened – how he was supposed to cope with it. He had no idea if he even could – was mentally capable of doing so. But what kind of a choice did he have?

He hadn't found the inner strength to return to bridge and neither had he felt any wish to return to his quarters. He had decided to head down to the Mess Hall – it was mid duty time and nobody would be there right now. It was the best place to settle down for sometime, think the situation over and have a good, hot cup of black coffee... However he had been wrong – he wasn't the only person having the idea to use the current silence of Mess Hall for thinking.

The young woman – still in her worn out, dirty, light brown desert clothing was all alone at Mess Hall. She just sat there motionless, a glass of water standing on the table in front of her. She was staring at the clear liquid in amazement and seemed to be lost in thought. But he was mistaking about that particular point – she had detected his presence.

"I've never in my life had an access to any water as easily as this."

He didn't know what to say and he was pretty sure, she actually didn't expect a response. She was more talking to herself than to anyone else – he knew that. He felt uneasy around her, he couldn't help it. It seemed to happen almost immediately whenever he saw her. She felt like an enemy to him and he couldn't explain that feeling, he just knew it was wrong to feel that way, but he wasn't really able to change that.

"I couldn't even imagine an amount of water more than this glass is filled with. I never saw anything like this, I never even dreamed of it. Living on a planet like this doesn't give much opportunities for imagination. But I learned that it actually exists – giant masses of water... oceans full of it. A whole world in green and blue – plants spreading out of futile earth... It's a dream."

"He told you about it, he remembered?"

"Yeah – as I already told you – the only thing his memory lacks of are the personal, individual things. But he remembered his homeworld and I believe that he desperately wished to get back there. It's not like it was a big surprise – anything is better than living in this giant desert down there. But what he told me sounded really, really nice. He even made me think about better days and I actually lost hope for that a long time ago."

"I understand that..."

"No, I don't think you do. None of you can understand that, you never experienced what it is like to be forced to live in this hell. You have no idea what sacrifices we have to make, which battles we have to fight, what we lose down there..."

He had no answer, no response to her revelation, but although she didn't believe he did, he began to understand what it must've felt like to be forced to live on a planet, in a hell like the one the young Talian woman – Thydia – and Trip had been forced to live in. He couldn't even imagine what it must've been like to not only be stranded there, but be there without any memory of how one got there or who he had been before...

He could feel the woman's eyes on him – she was obviously studying his face's expression as he was thinking about her words. There was no sign of any emotion on her own face. He wished to see that actually, wished to see some positive emotions from her, wished to gain her full trust. But how was he supposed to do that, if he didn't know anything about her?

"Where did you come from?"

"Come from?"

"Before you lived on this planet. I assume you were sent here by that wormwhole, too?"

"No, I didn't... I was born here... My parents were sent here for punishment. They were accused being traitors on their homeworld and therefore they punished them. But that wasn't the truth – they were good people – caring and loving. They didn't deserve to live here..."

"Neither did you, I'd say..."

"Well – nobody asked me for my opinion or for any permission on that matter. It's not like it's an easy life, but I stopped complaining a while ago. My parents were smart people – skilled in technology and agriculture. They were able to establish a pretty comfortable life considering the circumstances..."

"Do you know anything about your family's homeworld?"

"No – they never told me. They didn't want to talk about it – they said that it was the past and that there was no reason to care about it any longer. This was their future."

She pointed down to the planet that was visible from the wide windows in the mess hall without even looking at it. Not a too bright future – Jonathan thought. But he could understand why her parents never told her about their homeworld. It probably was a pretty painful memory, comparing it to the present surrounding.

"What about your parents...?"

"They're both dead. My father was murdered a while ago – I was still pretty young then. He had been on his way back to our home as he was attacked by an outworlder. A convicted murderer, I believe. He killed him. My mother – however – fell sick a few storms ago probably five or six – maybe even more. She hurt herself while working in the fields and the wound got infected. I wasn't able to save her..."

He couldn't help staring at her. It was such a sad, tragic, brutal story and she just told him this like it was perfectly normal, like it was an every day routine. She had lost her whole family, being left all alone on this deserted planet. He couldn't even imagine what this would feel like.

"I'm sorry..."

"There's no need to be sorry. It just happens, it's the past, it's gone. I can't change it any more. My life went on."

His next reaction was an almost automatic one and he couldn't help it – above all he couldn't help the sound of his words as he anounced them – they were hard and sounded almost accusing. He knew : the moment he had said them out loud he once again had pushed her away, losing that one bit of trust he had just been able to build up.

"Yes it did – with Trip..."

"Actually his name is Kyran – that's the Talian word for bad luck´. We both agreed that it was a very appropriate name, don't you think?

However, you're right. My life went on, with him. As did his – as my former one was taken from me by the death of my parents, so did his... with his own death. You should know..., you gave up on him!"

"I didn't give up on him! I had no other choice!"

She slowly got up giving him a short hard smile. She took her glass of water and drank it in one big gulp. She slowly and gently put it back down without ever taking her eyes off him. Then she took a step backwards from the table.

"When you say so..."

She turned away, leaving the room without giving him another chance to respond. She simply just left him, now giving him the chance to think about not only Trip's earlier words, but the Talian's too. Both of them seemed to have spoken about his fate several times and they had decided that someone had to be responsible for it.

They had found this particular person - right here and now...