A/N: Hee hee hee hee hee is all I can say here. :) Please review! Continuation of Drabble "Tales From a Desk Phone I: Abuse and Suffering"!

21. Tales From a Desk Phone II: True Love

You know, with each passing day, I grow steadily more tired and sick of waiting to finally be free. It's never going to happen. Master Mustang uses me too much to just let me go. His paperwork hasn't been faring much better. One time, he even started to crumple it up and chuck it at the wall in a violent, angry rage! It looked so painful! I immediately felt bad for lamenting my own battered condition; the paperwork obviously has it so much worse.

I tried to send out a message of consoloation to that forlorn piece of crumpled up paperwork, but I'm not sure if she heard me. I wanted so badly just to reach out and touch her, calm her, comfort her, tell her everything's going to be okay. Not like she'd believe me. I don't believe things will ever be okay in Master Mustang's office. Even Miss Hawkeye is not safe here! I see what he sketches on the backs of his paperwork… naughty sketches… Evil, bad, terrible sketches of things too ghastly to talk about!

I can't wait until Master Mustang gets a call from the Fuhrer. Mr. Bradley is my only hope. Perhaps I can tell the Fuhrer of Master Mustang's atrocities and get him fired! Then maybe all misery and strife will end for me and for my fellow paperwork comrades!

But alas, that is not going to happen anytime soon. Even if the Fuhrer does call, I cannot get any words out to him because Master Mustang is too busy babbling and yelling into the phone to let me speak. Then he slams me down and scribbles all over his paperwork, defiling their beautiful, pristine white skin with ugly, inky black splotches. It's terrible to see something so lovely get ruined by the carelessness of an evil master.

That crumpled-up piece of paperwork in the corner and I are going to escape someday. I really think that we would be good together. I can see it in her eyes that she loathes Master Mustang just as much as I do. If I could only reach her… if I could only touch her heart in ways I could never touch my own… We could be a team! We could overthrow the evil Master Mustang and run off together to save more innocent lives of desk phones and paperwork all over the world!

But I cannot move. I am only a desk phone, after all, stagnant and still until Master Mustang picks up again… OH GOD, NO, NOT ED AGAIN! AAAHHH! YOU ALREADY CALLED HIM YESTERDAY, WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO IT AGAIN? OW, STOP! YOU'RE STRANGLING ME! OH, THE PAIN! THE BRUTALITY!

I think I have blacked out…

Reviewer Responses!

Blackrose Kitsune: Why a donut? Umm… I really have no idea. Now that I think about it, an ear of corn would've gone better with Gluttony… o.O; That was just the first thing that popped into my head. n.n Heh, thanks for the review!

MetalWing Alchemist: … I think there should be a band called the Moaning Donuts… That sounds like a band name to me… XD Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last drabble! I can't think of a single person who Ed and Roy DON'T go with… Well, I'm sure if I thought harder, I'd find somebody, but hell, in my twisted brain, they even look okay with Pinako. And Pinako scares me… Ever since I read an Armstrong x Pianko genderswitch fic, I have been deathly afraid of that old lady… O.o; Thanks for the review!

TheBlondeWriter: "mDonuts." – ditto. Augh, I haven't had a donut in a long time… :pouts: Now I want one… Thanks for the review!

inu's gothic ravyn: Yep. Everybody loves donuts, especially Gluttony! XD And of course I shall update – this thing has gone daily now. 8) Thanks for the review!

Kiyuu-Chan:sweatdrop: I'm sorry for forever marring your outlook on donuts! And, sure, I'll try and write up a Ross x Brosh one, but it'll be a while until it's posted, since I already have 48 of the 50 I'm putting in this fic written up. But yeah, Ross x Brosh is one pairing I haven't really done, even though I support it. o.o Thanks for the review!

Valen aka Backstreet: VALEN-SAMA:glomps: I didn't know you had an account here! Yeah, wow, I've been so bummed since AS is down… I hope they get the $$$ soon or else I'm gonna go crazy:head explodes: Anyway, heh, glad you enjoyed… well… DID you enjoy it:-P Ah, whatever! Thanks for the review!

Mint Pizza Queen:D This was all your idea. I'm so glad you let me borrow it… :giggles with you: I liked the last line too. Thanks for the review!

Fading wind: Well, thank you! Glad I could provide entertainment for the day. :) And you're welcome for the review. I've never ridden a train before… o.o Woooow, is it fun? n.n lol Anyway, thanks for the review!

tsukiraven: No prob. Yeah, you're a new author, aren't you? So you're welcome! And thanks for adding me to your faves! I feel so loved:) Thanks for the review!

Kari Williams: Yes, but the eating has been replaced by nuzzling and other immoral acts with an inanimate object… so it's almost the same thing. XP Thanks for the review!

--crazykitsune17--