A/N:
Some people have mentioned 'Romeo & Juliet.' Right playwright. Wrong play.
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Rays of light shone down through the rare holes in the forest canopy.
It almost looked like a dream setting, or some kind of Fairy Land. Birds chirped high in the branches. A gentle breeze swayed branches and set groups of flower nodding their petaled heads.
Something seemed out of place in that peaceful idyllic setting. No, not something. Someone. Brows furrowed and mouth muttering, Anko walked through the undergrowth looking for someone.
"This had better be important," the jounin said. "If it turns out to be some cheap trick, that old bastard will wish he was never born. I don't care how powerful he is. If he makes even the slightest attempt to put the moves on me, he's going to be walking funny for a long time!"
Anko stopped. She listened carefully. There was no doubt about it: she was not alone. Was the person quietly approaching her position the one she was looking for? If not, who might it be? If it turned out to be a spy, the afternoon might prove more fun than she had expected.
It wasn't a spy or enemy scout. Anko recognized her fellow jounin easily enough. The questions still remained: what was he doing out here, moving as if he was the perimeter person in a screening operation?
"Psssst! Izumo…" Anko threw a small rock that she picked of the ground and then stepped out of concealment and motioned to her fellow jounin. "What are you doing here?" She listened carefully, wondering if anyone else was near.
"I might ask you the same, Anko. I didn't see your name on the duty roster." Izumo shrugged. "Then again, my name isn't there either, since I'm not officially here."
"I asked first," Anko replied, getting one of her looks. She rubbed one hand over the site of her curse seal. "Is this an unofficial training mission, or are you guarding someone or something important?" Her eyes narrowed. She loved a good mystery.
"Genma, Koetetsu, and a few others were asked to come out here with the Fifth." He sighed. "She's been wandering over hill and over dale, through bushes and briars, flitting here and there like she's some kind of brownie queen or something." He shook his head. "She's meeting with a number of council members in secret, including Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura. I'm not certain what they're talking about, or why it has to be kept under wraps."
"Hmmmm." Anko licked her lips. That might be an interesting secret to find out. Having heard some of the rumors, she had a good idea what it might be. In fact, that was probably the reason that she herself had been asked to come out here today. "What about the ANBU?" The Black Ops squads were often used to protect dignitaries, not just carry out assassinations and especially difficult missions. If the Ansatu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai were roaming the forest, she might find herself in trouble.
"No," Izumo said, shaking his head. "Uzuki Yugoa is here, tiptoeing through the cowslips with us." He snorted sarcastically. "But, she's here as a personal favor to the Hokage, not as an ANBU member." He frowned. "I don't know what might have convinced her to come. She's still mourning over Hayate after all this time." He listened himself. "I need to move on. So, fair's fair. Why are you here?" He looked somewhat suspicious. "If it's something that goes against my mission…"
"Don't worry your pretty little face." Anko reached out and tweaked her fellow jounin's cheek, knowing it would piss him off. "Jiraiya is very angry about something, and asked me to meet him out here. No doubt he has some kind of sneaky scheme in mind. If he asks me to model lingerie for him again, you can lead the Konoha Kemai Butai to look for his body when he goes missing." The look on the other ninja's face had her smiling. "I would suggest you keep an eye out for him. He's probably the last person that Tsunade would want to see…"
"I hope you're not planning on getting involved in some kind of mischief, Anko." Izumo turned to leave. "Not everyone knows about your Puckish attitude, since they are much more aware of… you know… your other reputation…"
"I'm no merry wanderer of the night," Anko said scowling. She liked her darker reputation, even though she hated what Orochimaru's had done to her, throwing her away like she was yesterdays' newspaper. "But, I have to admit it is fun to sneak a live crab into some sots soup bowl, if he does something to piss me off. I'd much rather show my displeasure in much more conventional means." She spun a sharpened kunai around her finger.
"Shhhhh." Izumo listened intently. "I hear the Fifth. But…" He listened longer. "Oh shit!"
"You're right. Jiraiya's coming too. What are the chances of this happening?" Anko kept a straight face; but, her eyes lit up. This might be amusing. She watched as Izumo vanished. Taking to the trees, she pushed a leafy branch out of her way and looked below.
"Well met by sunlight, Tsunade." Jiraiya walked out into a small clearing boldly, rather than choosing to spy on his former teammate. While he wondered just what the Hokage might be doing traipsing through the woods, he would rather rile her up a bit than sit quietly by listening for clues. Hopefully her presence wouldn't ruin the plan he had in mind. "Although… as you know… I'd rather see you in the moonlight." That would tick her off.
"What!" Tsunade's face quickly clouded over. She was glad that the councilors that she was waiting to meet with had been shinobi earlier in their lives. Two of them had been teammates of Sarutobi. They should have no trouble avoiding the scruffy lout in front of her. "Why the hell are you out here? Meeting with some poor innocent girl, hoping to trick her out of her secrets, so you can put them in your next book?"
"Would I be that rash and wanton?" Jiraiya scratched his head, fluffing his enormous mane. "Ahh-h-h-h. But you found me out. I am here to meet with some sweet young thing. She is so dainty and shy. There was no way that she'd meet with me in town." He grinned. If Anko was listening somewhere, that would have her steaming, wondering just what game he was playing. "I still can't understand why you have sworn of telling me of your conquests." He smiled, but his eyes clearly said that he had once prayed to be one of that number.
"Don't you have enough insipid stories of your own?" Tsunade asked, hands on her hips. "I've told our spies to stop bringing me reports of your perverted endeavors; but, they bring their papers to others who are avid for such trash, and they have to throw it on my desk!" She frowned.
"Perverted endeavors? Moi? Tsunade, you wound me!" Jiraiya chuckled. He was who he was. A leopard does not change its spots. A young pervert grows into an older pervert. The cycle continued on. Sarutobi had influence him… he had influenced Yondaime… and the Fourth had passed the torch to Kakashi. But, while he and the Copy Ninja were able to watch over Naruto, the boy had stumbled on his perverted jutsus on his own. A true prodigy!
"I wish!" the Hokage said. "A man your age behaving in such fashion. Disgusting. Taking the form of Corin, and playing on a set of silly corn pipes, singing verses of love to Phillida. Poor girl!" She held up one hand, made a fist, and then shook it in her fellow Sannin's face.
"She seemed to be enjoying herself," the Hermit said, shrugging. "Certainly you have worse stories than that!"
"I can't believe that you asked Kurenai to dress up in an Amazon's costume and pose for the centerfold of your newest work. That was bad enough. But to do it right in front of her friends?" Tsunade reached out, snapped her fingers, and reduced a small tree into toothpick like fragments. "Asking her if she wanted to be your 'Warrior Love.' You know that she takes that kind of thing seriously."
Jiraiya yawned, and covered his mouth with his hand. "You're right, Tsunade. It was a jest. I know that the Yuuhi girl fancies Kakashi." Watching the other Sannin's face, he smirked. "I like my women much more buxom." He gave her a sly looking over. "But, I'm far more interested in your reaction when I mentioned Hatake Kakashi." He rubbed his hands together. He had been saving this one for just the right occasion.
"What?" Tsunade gulped. "I have no idea what you're babbling about this time!"
"It's no secret to some of us, that you once had a crush on the infamous Copy Ninja." Jiraiya fluffed out his hair nonchalantly. He didn't always have the opportunity to take a good shot at his former teammate. He would need to savor this while he could. "It was you who broke up his midnight tryst with the ravishing Perigenia, poor girl. You also made efforts to break up his relationships with Aegle, Ariadne, and Antiopa. That's just the kind of thing that my readers would like to read!"
"How!" Tsunade turned bright red. "I mean, that's a lie." She began turning red with rage. "That's no one's business but my own. Nothing ever came out of it, and he doesn't even know." She stood nose to nose with her former teammate. "If you even think about telling him, I will post your picture at every hot springs in the Fire Country, and in every Nation allied to us!" Her eyes flashed. "The caption will read 'Be on the look out for nefarious pervert!' That ought to put a cramp in your style!"
Undetected, Anko remained still. The only thing that moved was her mouth, which curved into a large smiled. This was priceless. By itself, it had made her trek out into the forest worthwhile!
"Now, you wouldn't go that far, would you?" Jiraiya laughed. "If you did, I might locate some young boy… perhaps that child from India that you use as a page boy… and speak closely with him. Children are often confused with the questions they heart… and body… so my written report might be somewhat inaccurate." He rubbed his nose. "My readers would forgive me…"
"You wouldn't!" Tsunade drew herself up to her full height, her face looking like a frightening mask. "You leave that poor boy alone. He's in the Leaf because of a serious injury to his mother, who is a medical specialist in their own land. If she dies, I have promised to raise her son as if he were my own."
"Posh!" Jiraiya smiled. "You ought to know me better than that. You are so easy sometimes. I hate it when we fight like this. It happens so often; but, that's only because of the secret desires we have for one another." He was only half joking. "Perhaps it's time we kiss and make up."
"I'd rather kiss my pig!" Tsunade said, chuckling. "That doesn't mean I have a thing for bores." Her play on words had her fellow Sannin frowning.
"I pity the pig, then." Jiraiya shook his head, pretending to wipe away a tear. "At least To Ton has my respect. I haven't caught the oinker using a justu to stay young and attractive. Ahhhh, the surest cure for vanity is loneliness. I'm glad we brought you back to be Hokage instead of me." He brushed a fallen leaf off of his voluminous sleeve. "Will you be staying in the forest much longer? Perhaps we can walk a bit." If he was lucky, that would have her walking away from his chosen meeting area.
"I think I've had my fill of you for one day," Tsunade replied, tossing her hair. "Unlike some people, I have work to do." Her words couldn't hide the fact that she was worn out from her duties, and tormented by the fact that a Hokage's life can be very lonely, despite the number of people she or he has to deal with. But, she had no intention to leaving the forest. She still had more political canvassing to do. "You might try talking to the trees. Maybe they will have some stories for your books." With that she strode off.
"So, are we having fun yet?" Jiraiya spoke loudly after Tsunade walked off having a general idea where Anko was hiding. He was indeed speaking to the trees in a general fashion.
"I heard some interesting things," Anko said, walking into plain view. "But, what interests me most is why you arranged to meet me here?"
"Well, let's just say that a certain person I am very fond of has been caught up in an unfortunate situation not of his own making." Jiraiya made a nasty face, thinking about Hiashi. The man meant well, and his family had suffered greatly for the Leaf, but that was no excuse for him to go throw his weight around in the manner he was. "And let's say that the Hokage has her hands tied in regards to possible official actions."
"Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata," Anko said. "Right?"
"Right," Jiraiya said. "Hyuuga Hiashi dragged Kakashi into things, along with Kurenai. Hiashi has promised rather drastic things, if his desires are not met." He took a moment to pass along what he had heard from Kakashi. "I'm worried what Naruto might end up doing, should he lose his temper. The choices facing the girl are even worse."
"So, why me?" Anko asked. "Because I'm a bit… unconventional… in my approach?"
"Hmmmm. Anyone that Orochimaru chose for an apprentice must be skilled, and probably has no aversion to walking a shady path now and again." He held up his hand, not wanting the jounin to take offense. "And yes, you are a bit free-spirited. I can certainly appreciate that." He smiled, rubbing his head. "You also have a rare talent for keeping people off balance. That might also work to our advantage in this."
"Our?" Anko asked, raising one eyebrow. "Why would I want to get involved in this?"
"It never hurts to further one's reputation, right? " Jiraiya shrugged. "It certainly hasn't hurt me. Besides, It would be a chance to have some fun."
"How?" Anko scowled. "It had better not involve my taking my clothes off."
"No. That won't be necessary. The dulcet and harmonius sound of your voice is enough to set my heart afire." He chuckled. "Of course, if you want to, don't let me stop you." He reached into his large carrying bag and took out a large glass vial. "This is the answer."
"What's in it? Not poison I hope!" She scowled. Jiraiya didn't seem like the sort to bump off Uchiha Sasuke or Hyuuga Hiashi.
"No. Not a poison. Rather it's the fruit of a long and arduous search." Jiraiya rubbed the bottle with one finger. "Many years ago, I heard an old wive's tale about a certain flower. As the story went, the Greek god Eros had taken aim at a beautiful woman, intending for her to fall in love with some man. But, the arrow passed through chaste beams of moonlight and miraculously missed its target, falling to the ground. Where that arrow pierced the earth, a new flower grew, white stained with purple, named 'love-in-idleness'."
"Oh my. How romantic." Anko chuckled. Her look made it clear that she questioned the older ninja's sanity.
"The flower looks to be related to the pansy," the Frog Hermit said. "Over the years, it gained other nicknames. Jump-up-and-kiss-me. Heart's-ease. Cuddle me. Love idol. Kiss-her-in-the-buttery. Meet-me-in-the-entry." He swirled the amber liquid in the vial, holding it up to the light. "By itself, the flower has minor effects. Wearing a garland of them might help a young lady influence the heart of someone that would normally take interest in her." He smiled, reaching into his travel bag. "Here… want one?" He held out a number of large white flowers with purple highlights.
"No!" Anko took a few steps back, then turned red with anger and embarrassment when Jiraiya began laughing.
"I'll have to remember to write this down for my next book," the Legendary Sannin remarked. "My discovery didn't matter until I happened upon a love jutsu later on. That too had only minimal effectiveness at best. But… combing the two… I finally managed to come up with something…"
"Oh?" Anko smiled, her mischievous streak coming to the fore.
"Yes, perform the jutsu… place a drop or two of this juice in the eye of the victim… and the next live creature that the person sees…" Jiraiya grinned, ready for the punch line. "The victim will madly dote on whoever or whatever it is."
"That has such wonderful possibilities…" Anko sounded like a kid dragging a gold bar into a candy shop. "I take it you want me to use this on the Uchiha boy, so he denies his claim on Hinata?"
"Yes. I'll leave the timing and methodology up to you." Jiraiya smiled. "Eros was a god of both heterosexual and homosexual love. His domain included love in all its broadest senses, not just the sexual. So, even though Uchiha Sasuke would never fall in love with another boy on his own, you could use the elixir to punish him for going along with Hiashi's idea." He laughed. "Eros was one of the oldest of the gods, and was actually feared by the ancient Greeks. In many stories, he would cause havoc, and there was a definite air of maliciousness about him." The Frog hermit smiled. "He could drive men and women to noble self-sacrifice, or torture them to madness while driving them to self-destruction. Lacking much by the way of wisdom, the people today usually make Eros… Cupid… contemptibly cute and sweet, and somewhat prankish." He kept a straight face saying: "Like you."
"So, if Sasuke were to end up madly in love with a boy or older man…" Anko ignored the last remark. It wasn't important. She couldn't believe her good fortune. She had always been put off by the Uchiha boy's attitude, and still harbored some feelings of jealousy after Orochimaru chose him as his apprentice. "…Or some kind of forest or farm animal…"
"Exactly! He would forget about Hinata…" Jiraiya ran his hand through his hair. "…And Hiashi would no longer want him for a son-in-law, if he found out." He froze, his eyes narrowed in contemplation. When they widened, he smiled. "I can also think of another good use for the drops." He paused, savoring the idea. "Tsunade."
"Huh?" Anko twitched. "You mean you and the Hokage?" She looked at the vial. "But that…"
"Yes, it would be risky." Jiraiya shrugged. What was 'risky' to one such as him? He had been through so much in his life. "But, if you're as good as they say you are, she would never catch on."
"Is that stuff permanent?" She held out her hand and excepted the elixir. "If it is…"
"I don't know," Jiraiya said, shrugging. "But, I have the antidote. Given that fact, the potion has the potential for great mischief, nothing more." He didn't say 'if the antidote actually works,' His posture suddenly changed. "We have company." He made a hand signal. The two of them flashed to a large branch overhead.
"Why do you keep pursuing that foolishness?" Uchiha Sasuke looked even more unhappy than usual. "I don't love you. I could never love you. I have no need for one like you." He pushed his way through a small thicket, Haruno Sakura following close behind him. "You told me that Naruto and Hinata would be out here somewhere. The one… I should have killed back when I had a chance. The other… might kill herself or otherwise slay my opportunity." He turned and gestured. "Go home. I'll find them on my own. I can convince them to see reason without your meddling."
"I can't help it," Sakura said sadly. "I don't know why, but you keep drawing my heart towards you like a magnet, even though you don't seem to have a matching heart of your own." She straightened her shoulders. "I know what you suffered through. Maybe there's something inside that just needs a chance. I can't stop wondering what might happen if someone cared about you for who you are…not because you are an idol… or because you have the sharingan…"
"You have no business caring for me!" Sasuke sounded angry, almost furious. "When have I asked you to care about me? Who have I ever asked to care? Not You. Not Naruto. Not Kakashi."
"It's strange…" Sakura trembled for a moment, feeling as if a chill ran up her spine. "The more you yell at me, the more I want to help you." Her voice grew stronger, "Maybe I don't deserve someone like you… maybe there is no reason for you to show me the slightest bit of respect… and maybe the love of an avenger with nothing left to avenge is a worthless thing…" She set her jaw. "But, you are hurting and alone."
"Did you ever stop to think that I might be able to deal with my own hurt, or that I might be better off alone?" Sasuke bulled his way through a number of young saplings, some of which snapped back striking Sakura in the face and hands. The both of them were unaware that they were being followed and observed. "You would not like what I've become. It's not be wise to tempt the hatred in my spirit. It makes me sick to look at you."
"It makes me sick to see what you've become," Sakura said, close to tears now. Memories of the Forest of Death walked by her side. Images of Orochimaru taunted her, as did images of Sasuke's curse seal. "I can understand how you might not care for me. I didn't help rescue you, because I was hoping that you might care about me. That doesn't matter right now. I can't believe you would do this to Naruto!"
"Naruto!" Sasuke paused a moment. "I didn't ask for him to save me. I did not ask for him to come looking for me again. I did not ask for him to aid in the death of my brother!" He took out a knife and began cutting his way through the underbrush with long angry swipes.
"Is that it?" Sakura rushed ahead and grabbed Sasuke's arm. "Are you angry because someone stole your vengeance? Are you upset, because you were saved from spilling your own brother's blood, and you can't stand owing someone your gratitude?" Her voice cracked. "Don't be! None of us asked for thanks! We've had enough of your selfish anger" She began to sound a lot like the Hokage. "Are you planning to marry Hinata to satisfy your new obsession, or do you just want to stick it to Naruto?" Close to tears again, she grabbed Sasuke by the arm, stopped him, and then slapped him hard across the face. "Why should anyone ever want to see an Uchiha clan again, if the members are like you and Itachi!"
"You wouldn't understand!" Sasuke put a hand to his cheek. His voice sounded far less arrogant and certain. "You never had your entire clan murdered. You never had your brother tell you to get stronger so you could face him. You never had everyone try to force you to care about them, because they think you are so strong, even though you were never strong enough." He clenched both fists, almost cutting his hand on his knife blade. "Hyuuga Hiashi is doing what he thinks is best for his clan. This may be the best that I can do for my clan. If you truly cared for me, you wouldn't stand in my way."
"Maybe you can't feel love," Sakura said, nearly in a whisper. " Does that mean you will feel no regret, killing the hope of love for your friend, and for a girl who might end up joining a convent or taking her own life?"
"Leave me alone," Sasuke said. His posture changed momentarily, before he stiffened once again. He held up the knife. "If you keep hounding me, I might end up doing something to hurt you."
"You already have," Sakura said. "Here, in the forest. Walking through town together. Practicing with Kakashi and Naruto. Everything you say and do hurts me. Maybe I would be happier to be part of the woods…" She pointed to the young trees that Sasuke had slashed. "Maybe it wouldn't pain me as much." She swallowed hard, trying to keep tears from her eyes. "But, I won't give up on you." She began moving through the wooded area by herself. Sasuke stood a moment longer before continuing.
Jiraiya held up his hand, ordering Anko to stay still. They wouldn't follow either of them at that mement. "That poor kid," the Frog hermit said. He looked very sad for a moment. Sakura reminded him so much of Tsunade. But, she had found in Dan, someone to love and love her back. Taking out a small glass container from his bag, he carefully poured some of the elixir into it. "Here. Take this. I'll go looking for Tsunade amongst the wild thyme, oxlips and violets. That will be my mischief. You take the remainder and use some on Sasuke. Make certain that the first thing he sees is Sakura. It might end up being cruel to her, but…"
"But, it might help the Uchiha boy get in touch with feelings that are buried too far down to reach any other way." Anko shrugged. "I guess it can't hurt to try. You shouldn't get your hopes up, though. It isn't as if this is some kind of bedtime story or something."
"I know that," Jiraiya said. "But, if there's even the slightest chance at success, it's worth trying. I'm putting my trust in you."
"I'll do my best." With that, Anko vanished.