A/N: Ah, finally, Part Five of the "Tales From a Desk Phone" series. If you need a recap, go back to Chapter 32, and re-read it. Also, this ties in with Drabble #9, too, so go back there and read that one as well. I know this series doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Right now, I am too tired to care. Please review! I decided to say "screw the not-really-rules", so the reviewer responses are back. You guys got lucky. I actually had time tonight to do them! (I just started school today – 'tis awesome. I officially love public high school. :-P) Anyway, enjoy, review, and all that. Thankies!

41. Tales From a Desk Phone V – Perfect Plan Part Two

I was left outside in the cold while Mistress Hawkeye sat at Master Mustang's bedside, watching him die. Penelope was crying. But I wasn't. Master Mustang was finally getting his long-due punishment.

I heard it from my friend, Lust, what exactly happened. Lust was the homunculi who had killed Master Mustang; I picked her to do the dirty work because I knew that Master Mustang could not resist her, homunculus or not. And I was right. Master Mustang, who had received a call from her – via me, I might add – earlier today asking to meet in his office at ten-thirty. I had seen her come in. Penelope did too. But she didn't know my plan.

In a way only a desk phone can manage, I was able to communicate with Lust while she spoke to Master Mustang. I told her to kill him. And she agreed. My plan commenced.

She took him away from his office at ten-thirty, as they scheduled. They were out for an hour or so, and at that time, Mistress Hawkeye came to rescue Penelope and me. Shortly after, as you know, we ran into Master Mustang. Dying Master Mustang – a glorious sight. My plan had worked.

Lust told me later, after I had been officially rescued by her (Penelope wanted to stay behind with her dying master. I'm afraid I no longer love her.) that she had toyed with him in a back alley under the twilight moon then finally gave her perfect, sharp nails a scratching post in the middle of his atrocious belly, killing him.

Of course, he had stumbled all the way to Central – for what, I'm not sure – where he was then taken to the infirmary by Mistress Hawkeye. But it's too late. He's dying. He's dead. The evil has been vanquished, and I am in the care of my new mistress – Mistress Lust.

It is five in the morning now. I haven't slept all night, but I am not tired. I miss Penelope, but she is a traitor, staying back with ex-Master Mustang. Mistress Lust has just entered my room, and she leans down next to me, whispering chillingly into my receiver:

"The deed is done, sir. Colonel Roy Mustang died officially at 4:15 this morning."

A/N: OMFGNOSEBLEEDDIE! Poor Roy-chan! T.T

Reviewer Responses!

Wing Omega - I would have Winry hit Ed, but I like to keep my drabbles under one page long. Okay, that's not the real reason. I just didn't want to because Winry is meen (not a typo)! Lol, just kidding. I couldn't resist writing that drabble. It was too tempting.

MetalWing Alchemist – Seriously, where did the "no reviewer response" thing come from? I'm so confused! And I thought this site was really good about letting us authors know that kinda stuff… and I could go off on a tangent on how much this site irritates me, but I won't. Glad you liked the drabble!

Sika Kuriyama – Lol, yay, Winry-hater! I don't hate her when she's not around Ed… because when she's around Ed, she's just so "stereotypical, obnoxious whiny girlfriend". Otherwise, she's okay… Or maybe I'm just jealous because she has better hair than me… T.T ha ha Thanks for the review!

Miss DarkRose - Thanks for the review!

Blackrose Kitsune - I always love writing drabbles and fics where one character never shuts up. I can just write and write and write about random crap, and then at the end, the all-too-amazing punchline that never gets old: "(character name), shut up." XD Gotta love it. Thanks for the review!

writerauthorguy - I'm just gonna say, "screw it, if it isn't in the guidelines, it's allowed". Unfortunately for me, many of the other fics I have would break the rules in the guidelines… FFN, don't take away my reviewer responses! My means of communication to the interesting people of the world! T.T Thanks for the review!

K. A. Maples – Whew, glad I'm forgiven. I always get so scared here whenever I post anti-canon stuff, because there are some people here who are really anal about that, unlike my other site, AnimeSpiral, where no one really cares what the hell you post. O.o Thanks for the review!

--crazykitsune17--