Just when I was nearing my wit's end (which wasn't very far, let me tell you), an unexpected boon came to us all in the form of an airship. It was . . . an unusual airship. It was about the size of a large car, painted metallic lime green, had windows tinted limo black, and was so heavily accented with chrome that I wondered which country went bankrupt to fund this vehicle. Even the ducted fans on the bottom of it were trimmed with chrome. At first I thought it must have an engine problem, due to the irregular thumping sound that rattled my rib cage (and Steiner's armor). It was too much for Freya's large, sensitive ears, and she backed off about fifteen meters or so. But as the ungainly (yet rich-looking) airship/car neared, I realized that the thumping was actually supposed to be music. I dubbed the driver of the vehicle the Human Douche, and decided to give them a piece of my mind for jumping into MY story like that.

Imagine my surprise when a tinted window slid smoothly down to reveal a familiar face: the reverse-handlebar moustached Regent Cid. But something was wrong . . . besides the sheer oddness of his chosen mode of transport, there was the fact that his neck was adorned with more gold than most royalty would consider tasteful, and his normally impeccable hair was covered by a ridiculous-looking leopardskin top hat. Not only that, his accent was nothing at all like I'd imagined it would be.

"Yo, bitches!"

Garnet stepped slowly up to the vehicle, as though afraid that its driver would eat her. "Uncle . . . Cid? Is that you?"

"Th' one n' only! Whut up wit you, G?"

Steiner half-knelt, unsure of how to behave around this changed Cid. Freya stepped closer, cocking an eyebrow rather adorably in confusion and skewing an ear to one side. Amarant rolled his eyes, though no one could see them underneath his hair. Eiko and Vivi looked at each other, Quina looked at me, and Zidane strolled casually up to Cid.

"What it is, motherf-"

"ZIDANE!"

"Eh, whazzup Pimpmasta C?"

"Check th' whip! S'got a little some'n here . . ." Cid reached over and pressed a button, eliciting an unholy whine from the engines. The craft had only been floating a few inches above the ground, but when he pressed the button, the front end jolted up a foot before settling back down. "Ha ha!" He did it a few more times, grin spreading each time.

Man, and I though Sera was acting all screwed up . . . but I might as well take my own advice and roll with it. "Hey, you up for a little roadtrip?"

"Eh?" Cid replied, looking me (and the others) over. "Dunno . . . da Rustmasta's crampin' ma style, yo. 'Sides, Big C's Mean Green Love Machine's fo da ladies ONLY!"

Dammit. I could write an RPG onto my shoulder and blast him to slag, but that wouldn't be nice. And Dagger would probably be mad. Hmm . . .

Turned out I didn't need to do anything. A bright pink convertible airship whizzed past far too close for comfort, stopping briefly so its driver could have a look at us. Beatrix's unmistakeable face peered from behind a pair of sunglasses in the airship's cockpit, and I groaned. At that point, I was about ready to write a friggin' nuke into the story and start anew.

"Beatrix?" Steiner gasped. "Is . . . that you?" She winked at him, and he started to walk towards her - but was cut off by Cid's unearthly airship.

"Now, why you cuttin' in on my action? Get lost, fo' I bust a cap in yo uptight ass!"

Without giving Steiner a chance to reply, Cid floored it. For once, though, Steiner was fast enough to catch something, and he grabbed onto the green airship's rear vertical stabilizer. "Leave the Lady Beatrix be!"

"Wha? You gon' pay fa that!" It didn't look like he would, though; with all that extra weight on his rudder, Cid couldn't turn his ship around quickly enough to throw the knight off. So he shifted it back and forth as quickly as he could, jockying the throttle back and forth as his ship staggered past Beatrix's. She rolled her eyes and sped off in the opposite direction.

"Okay, it's official," I announced. "This is now completely ridiculous. Screw the car. We're going for a Chocobo caravan."

Note: Sorry it's so short; next bit'll be longer, really it will!