The New Exiles
By The Uncanny R-Man And Agent-G
Shout Outs-
Winblades: Hey by all means the more readers the better, actually that's kind of a cool idea, I may use that, thanks.
Janusi: Yeah I love running gags, this is more of a fun chapter than a mission chapter so enjoy. (Also it helps if you've read the Star Wars books)
Ruby631: Yeah I've been wondering about why you haven't updated yet. I was just generalizing about that I wasn't sure if all types could be cured or not.
Fire inu: Yep, the next chapter was the one we were working on before the re-did this.
X-Over: After the movies but before the Vong invaded.
Chapter 16: I Bent My Wookiee
The Complex-
It had been a week since the Exiles' adventure at Crystal Lake and they decided to spend their time until their next mission hanging out in the Complex. They were presently sitting in the rec room discussing what movies to watch.
"Hey, Vince." Heather said. "Have you ever seen the Phantom Menace?"
"The Phantom what?" He cocked an eyebrow at the title.
"The Phantom Menace." Heather repeated. "Star Wars: Episode One."
"I didn't even know that there was an episode one, just episodes four to six, you mean they actually got around to doing the first one?" He said surprised at that, he had always wondered what the first three movies were like.
"Well perhaps we should watch it then, you might want to catch up." Morph added. "See how crappy it is for yourself."
"How could Star Wars possibly be crappy?" Vincent snorted. "They're one of the best films ever released."
"You've never had the dubious joy of watchin' Jar Jar Binks in action, have you?" August smirked.
"Jar Jar who?" Vince asked at the idiot name.
"Just watch and learn, buddy." Morph said as he found it and popped the data crystal into the player and everybody settled down to watch the movie.
Over two hours later-The other Exiles looked at Vince to gauge his reaction to the movie. They couldn't yet see whether the Canadian samurai liked it as he just stared blankly at the screen. "Well, did you like it?" Blink asked.
"Yeah, come on man." Jono added. "Tell us, the tension's killing us."
A slight frown started to form on Vincent's face. "What the hell was George Lucas thinking?" Vincent hissed. "What the hell was up with that gay fish guy?"
"Jar Jar Binks?" Morph asked.
"Whatever the Hell his name was." Vincent replied. "Why the Hell was he in the movie?" He looked to the others for help.
"I think he was supposed to be comic relief, or something." August shrugged. "It didn't exactly work out."
"Tell me about it." Dare said with her arms crossed. "My dad hated him and he's blind!"
"He was lucky then, at least he didn't see how crappy he looked." Vince snorted bitterly and Dare nodded her head. "That has to be the worst attempt at humour I have ever seen. What ever happened to a guy in a monkey suit? That never harmed Chewbacca's appeal."
"I see what you're saying Vincent." Blink said as she put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. "We both agree with you, Jar Jar Binks is the worst thing about the film and he be strung up and shot but you have to let it go."
"I'm sure that Guardian will let us visit the Star Wars galaxy." August added. "Maybe we can see just how annoying Jar Jar Binks is for ourselves."
"Just don't blame me if I accidentally fry him with an energy blast." Vince replied.
"Take a number mate and get in line, we all want to fry his arse." Jono added with a grin on his face at the mental image of that.
Reality 69316-Morph was back in the reality where Rahne Sinclair was the Black Queen of the Hellfire Club. This time he was there of his own free will. He was in Rahne's private chambers waiting for her to get dressed. "Well the other Exiles and I were planning on taking a trip and I was wondering whether you wanted to come along."
"And where exactly are ye going?" Rahne asked from behind an ornate-looking screen.
"We thought we'd go visit the Star Wars galaxy." Morph replied.
"No way!" Rahne gasped as she poked her head around the screen. "Really? Can ye actually go to the Star Wars galaxy?"
"We can travel to pretty much any galaxy. Heck, last week we travelled to a reality where we had to fight Jason Vorhees."
"Perhaps I'd better get some appropriate clothing on." Rahne said as she hung up her usual black leather bodice. "What d'ye think?" Morph watched as Rahne stepped out dressed in a skimpy golden bikini. Yup, she was dressed up in Princess Leia's slave costume. Morph squeaked in surprise.
"You actually have a Princess Leia slave bikini?" He gasped his eyes nearly bulging out of his head.
"Ye'd be surprised at some of the things I have in me cupboard." Rahne replied sexily. "Perhaps ye'd like tae help me give it a test run?" She purred as she crept closer. Morph just giggled like a loon as Rahne pushed him back onto the bed.
The teleporter room-The other Exiles were waiting for Morph to bring his date. April and Dare were going along too as this trip wasn't a mission as such, it was more like a diplomatic mission. Guardian was going with them also as he had previous experience with the Star Wars galaxy, something about evacuating Alderaan before the Death Star destroyed it. The Exiles were dressed in suitable attire, tunics, robes, cloaks and what have you. Vince also had his sword with him to add to his image. The Canadian samurai pulled Blink to one side. "Blink, can I talk to you for a sec, please?"
"Sure, Vince." Blink replied. "What can I help you with?"
Vince cleared his throat nervously before continuing. He had thought about doing this for quite some time but he never got the courage to ask before now. He hadn't had many success with women and the few he did...well considering how his world had been he had lost them to the sentinels and until now wasn't ready to try again.
"Well, seeing that Morph is bringing a date, I was wondering whether you, y'know, wanted to be my date, you know...as a friend? I'm...not too good with large crowds of strangers." A small smile spread on Blink's face. She had to admit she was a bit surprised but she liked the idea. Ever since Mimic had left her and the team, she felt a void in her life. But over the few months she had found that Vincent seemed to make the pain of his absence ease off more and more.
"I'd be glad to be your date." She replied as she squeezed his hand gently. With that, they went back to join the others just in time to see someone materialize in the teleporter. The figure was dressed head to toe in black, a black cloak and a black breathing mask. It was Darth Vader!
"August, I am your father!" 'Vader' boomed.
"Stop screwing around Morph." August sighed as she rolled her eyes. 'Vader's' shoulders slumped as he turned back into Morph.
"Spoil my fun." He pouted.
"So, where's this girlfriend of yours?" Heather teased. "Don't tell me you made her up."
"She's just taking care of some business." Morph replied, he had told them he had met a girl while travelling into another reality but he had kept tight-lipped about it, he wanted this to be a surprise. "She didn't want to leave the Hellfire Club without any clear leadership."
"Your girlfriend is Emma Frost?" Jono gasped. "Bloody hell!" The Emma he knew would never look at Morph twice so he could only imagine what this was one like.
"As much as I'd like to be having red-hot kinky sex with Frosty, that's not who I mean, she's the Black Queen." Morph replied.
"She's WHAT?" August hissed angrily, getting ready to throttle Morph. "Your girlfriend is the Black Queen?"
"Whoa there!" Morph said as he put up his hands in defence, nearly sweating buckets at August's outburst. "I'm not dating Selene; I do have some standards you know. No, you guys may know her as Wolfsbane."
"Rahne Sinclair is the Black Queen?" Jono asked. Not believing his ears. "The same Rahne Sinclair that wouldn't say boo to a goose? The timid Catholic schoolgirl Rahne?"
"The one and the same." Morph replied with a smug grin.
"And you really had sex with her that time we saw you walking down the corridor?" The British man asked him remembering that day.
"Yup." Morph replied as he admired his nails. "Is it so hard to believe that she likes such a handsome guy as me?"
"It's just a tad unusual." Vince said. "You're seriously dating this girl?"
"Well I wouldn't say dating." Morph replied with a shrug. "We spend most of the time in her chambers, y'know, doing it..."
"Doing what?" April asked a bit confused. Since she had spent her whole life without any outside contact or to get to know the world she was still a bit innocent in certain areas.
"I'll tell you when you're older." Dare replied with a smirk patting her shoulder and smiling at her. She had to admit that even though she liked spending time with April she could be so naïve at time, but she found that kind of sweet on her...and the fact she was an ass-kicking mutant with gravimetric powers was well hidden by those green doe like eyes too.
The New Republic Senate-The Exiles found themselves in a stark white room with banks of computers across the walls. Standing in front of them was a young woman with long brown braided hair wearing a flowing white gown. Standing next to her was a slightly older man with short brown hair. Next to him was a very tall bear-type creature. Next was a blonde guy dressed all in black, and to his side was a stunning redhead with intense green eyes. Last but by no means least were two robots, one was a tall, golden and humanoid while the other was short, stout and looked kind of like a blue and white garbage can. There were also several dignitaries from various alien worlds.
Guardian stepped forward and bowed in greeting. "Greetings from Haven, Your Majesty." He said. "It's wonderful to meet you again."
"It's wonderful to meet you again, Guardian." Princess Leia replied, bowing in reply. "My people will be forever in your debt."
"I would like to meet the Exiles." Guardian said as he indicated our heroes. "This is Clarice Ferguson, Vincent Freeman, Jonothon Starsmore, Morph, Heather Hudson, April Newton, Karen Murdock and Rahne Sinclair."
The Exiles stepped forward and gave their respective greetings. "This is my husband, Han, my brother Luke, his wife Mara, Chewbacca and our droids C-3PO and R2-D2."
August pulled Jono to one side and whispered in his ear. "Oh my God! I can't believe we're actually here in the Star Wars Universe!"
"I know how you feel, luv." Jono replied just as excited, this was something he used to dream of as a kid, although he never told anyone that, he did have a reputation to keep. "We're actually gonna meet Han Solo!"
"I think you're forgetting Luke Skywalker as well." Dare added. "I always thought he was cool, for a guy I mean."
"Han's way better." Jono replied. "When you're a kid you always think that Luke's the best but when you grow up, you realise just how cool Han Solo is, he's got the Millennium Falcon for God's sake!"
After everybody had been introduced, the welcoming committee started to file out of the room. "If you will follow Threepio, he'll lead you to the banquet hall where we have a celebratory feast set out for you." The Princess said.
"Thanks very much, Your Highness." Guardian nodded.
The banquet hall-The Exiles followed Threepio into the banquet hall and marvelled at the sheer size of it. There were several impossibly huge crystal chandeliers and many huge tapestries adorning the walls. One of the walls most completely made of glass and gave the occupants a view of the city below them. "Wow, get a load of that view." August said.
"It's a good thing none of us are scared of heights, huh?" Vince replied. Threepio showed them to their seats and they all sat down around a huge round table. After several minutes, Princess Leia and the others appeared. "I must say, Your Highness, I love your décor."
"There's really no need to be so formal." Leia replied. "Please, we're all friends here, call me Leia."
Jono looked at the young girl sitting beside him. He didn't like the way she was looking at him. "Hi, I don't think we've met." She said. "I'm Jaina Solo."
Chamber raised an eyebrow. "Solo? As in Han Solo?"
"Yeah, that's my dad. My mom Leia and him are my parents." She told him. This surprised Jono. Sure, he thought Han and Leia were going to end up together it was just weird to actually see their kid.
"Jaina! Stop hitting on the guests." The guy sitting next to her hissed, who looked a lot like her, and might have been her twin brother.
"Oh give it a rest, Jacen. Look, Zekk and I broke up months ago and I just want to start dating again. Besides even if you're my twin I'm old enough to decide who I want to try and go out with alright?" Jaina said sternly to her twin brother, then she turned back to Jono. "You're Jono, right? You're cute, you got a girl back home?"
"Oh for Sith's sake." Jacen groaned under his breath. "Why don't you just throw yourself at him already?"
Jono just groaned inwardly and fiddled with his napkin. Morph leant over and smirked at Jono's dilemma. "What is it with you and hot eighteen year old girls?" The shapeshifter asked. Jono just shot a glare at Morph and continued to fiddle impatiently with his napkin.
On the other end Guardian and Leia were discussing certain political problems that had risen up after the defeat of the Empire. So Luke was free to talk to the other Exiles. "So tell me Clarice, I've never seen a species like yours before? Where do your people come from?" Luke said to her.
"Oh, um...I'm actually human." She told him, which surprised the Jedi Master. "The Exiles are a group of humans called mutants. We have this extra gene called and x-gene that gives up powers and abilities and in some cases like mine can alter the appearance of a person."
"That sounds interesting." Mara said. "That kind of sounds like how the Jedi can do things others can't with the Force. What exactly does this X-gene do for you?"
"Well since everyone's powers are different and it's very rare to see two mutants with the same exact powers, mine are two fold." Blink explained. "You see I can create portals that can teleport a person and I can charge these lances I carry to teleport or destroy objects."
"Now that is interesting." Mara said. "I've never heard of anything like that."
"What about you?" Luke asked Vincent who was sitting next to Blink.
"My powers are more varied. I can fly, and I got super strength, speed, energy manipulation and my body is practically invulnerable. I could most likely pick up an X-Wing with one hand, blast it to scrap or you could shoot me with those laser canons and I wouldn't die...my clothing on the other hand would be ruined and it might sting like hell but besides that I should be fine."
"That's impressive." Luke said astonished, even the stories of things he had seen from other Jedi didn't compare with that or being able to teleport.
"You know there's one thing I've always wanted to ask a Jedi." Vince said to him.
"Oh? What is that?" Luke smiled.
"Those lightsabres of yours...when you turn them on how do they know when to stop?" He asked. After the dinner there was much talking and comparing stories so far. There was even a little dancing as musicians played some kind of a waltz but nothing you'd hear on Earth.
The couples paired off at first. Jono was standing by a pillar looking over the crowd and wishing that Erotica didn't have to work this night. He bet she would have loved this. "You want to dance?" Came a familiar voice and Jono contemplated how to escape but wasn't sure how to do that and not offend her.
He turned to see Jaina looking at him and he could see she had her heart set on it and couldn't turn her down. "Alright fine, but just one." Jaina smiled happily and grabbed his hand as she led him to the dance floor.
Blink was watching the others having a good time and was starting to feel a little left our. "Care to dance?" She turned her head and saw Vincent offering her his hand.
She smiled and took it. "I'd love to."
April looked at Vince having a good time with Blink and sighed. Dare walked up to her wearing an eye-patch that matched her clothing. "What's wrong?" She asked then noticed where she was looking at and frowned. "Are you smitten with Vince?"
"What?"
"Smitten, you know you got a crush on him or something, you like him more then a friend type of thing." Dare explained.
April shook her head. "Not...in that way. It's just...I think of him like a big brother you know? My version was there for me and so has this one and, well..." She trailed off trying to put it into words but Dare got it and smiled.
"Hey no worries, I mean you can't spend you're entire time together you both need a separate life you know. So come on, be happy for the big guy, I mean he looks happy dancing with her." April looked out and he did seem happy and she smiled. She guessed it was a bit selfish to keep him all to herself. "Come on." Dare said taking her hand. "I'm bored, let's go dance."
"But...I-I've never danced before." April said nervously.
Dare just grinned. "No worries I can teach you, it's easy."
After the dance-After dinner, the Exiles were being shown around the senate building. They all gazed at the surroundings as they passed. The whole building was made out of some white metal. There were whole patches of exotic plants dotted about too. The Exiles had never seen such diverse plant life before, even those of them that had been into space before.
"I must say, Threepio." Vince said. "I love the array of plants you've got here." Normally he wouldn't care but living in a city for years made you appreciate things you never had.
"Thank you Master Vincent." Threepio replied. "But I cannot take credit as I was not the one that arranged them so." Artoo beeped something in reply. "I cannot possibly tell them that you near-sighted scrap pile!" Threepio replied.
"Care to translate for us?" Jono asked.
"I'm afraid that my programming does not enable me to repeat what my counterpart has just said." Threepio replied.
"The droid's got a potty mouth." August smirked. "He's my kind of droid."
Blink noticed that Heather was lagging behind. "Heather, what's the matter? Are you alright?"
"Oh, I'm fine Blink." Heather replied. "I was just wondering where Morph and Rahne disappeared too."
"I'm sure they'll turn up somewhere." Blink said. "Why don't we go join the others, I want to tease Jono about his teenaged stalker."
"Who, Jaina?" Heather asked. "Seriously, what is it with Jono and teenaged girls?" Blink just chuckled and carried on walking. Unseen by the two women, a foot was sticking out from a nearby bush.
"I'm not sure that we should be doing this here, Rahne." Morph said from the undergrowth.
"There's nothing tae worry about, Morph. It's nae as if anybody's going tae see us." Rahne replied.
"I suppose..." Morph muttered.
"That's m'boy." Rahne smiled as she crept closer.
Later-The tour around the senate had finished and the Exiles were at a loss as to what to do. "Have you guys got any decent bars around here?" Dare asked with April not far behind.
"Yeah, I've always wanted to see the lower levels of Coruscant for myself." August added, she remembered how it looked in Episode Two and had always wanted to see the real thing when she first heard this was where they were going.
"Hrrrnn." Chewbacca said in warning.
"Care to translate that for those of use who don't talk Wookiee?" Vincent asked.
"Chewie doesn't think that it's safe for strangers to go about the lower levels." Han replied. "And I have to agree with him. It wouldn't do our reputation any good if our guests get killed by a bounty hunter out for a quick buck."
"No offence but we can handle it, I mean we go on dangerous stuff all the time." Vincent said to him. "We're not exactly human remember?"
"Besides, you could always escort us." Jono said. "Having a seven foot tall Wookiee should deter anybody that wants to try it with us."
"Or Heather could change to her Sasquatch form." Vince added.
"People might mistake me for a Wookiee." Heather replied. "Then they'd hear me talk and we know how rare it is to find Wookies talking English, or Basic as it's called here, plus my other form is kind of large and I might not fit through some of the doors."
"Grrroooww!" Chewie added.
"Well if you wanna show them around, be my guest." Han replied. "Just keep them off the Wookiee ale, okay?" Chewbacca growled something in reply.
"Aww c'mon Chewie." Han said not liking what he had just said. "I'm not a babysitter." Chewie repeated his comment, baring his teeth for emphasis. "Alright, I'll tag along too." Hank sighed. "Just try to keep out of trouble, okay?"
"Hey guys, you going anywhere?" Morph said as he walked up with Rahne.
"Han and Chewie are gonna show us some decent night spots." August replied.
"Ooh, can I come along?" Morph asked.
"The more the merrier." Vince added. "Aren't you coming too, Blink?"
"I'm not really in the mood for alien booze I'm afraid." Blink replied. "But thanks for asking anyway."
"I'm gonna stay behind too." Heather added. "Anakin and Jacen want to hear about all the stuff we've done."
"I guess that Guardian will want to stay behind too." Blink said. "He's still talking with the High Council, apparently they want his help with something over on Hoth."
"I hope you guys don't mind but I think I'll stay behind too." Vincent added turning to the others.
"Oh yeah, I bet that you'll want to stay behind, buddy." Morph teased. "You and Blink, all alone, huh?" Rahne standing next to him with her arm linked in his grinned at the Canadian.
"It's nothing like that." Vince quickly replied. "We're just friends, is all."
"We'll meet you outside the Council Chambers in a few hours, okay?" Blink said trying to help him out of this by changing the subject.
"Don't get too drunk." Heather smirked as she waved the others off.
The Cantina-Han, Chewie and the others caught a hover-cab down several levels to a little cantina that Han knew. The main difference about moving down through Coruscant's levels is that it starts to get darker, because all the huge buildings start to block out the sun. The garish neon lights hardly do anything to combat this however and everything is overcast by a dirty brown murkiness.
"Nice place." Morph muttered as they got out of the hover-cab.
The Exiles followed Han and Chewie into a cantina that looked suspiciously familiar.
"Is that the cantina from Mos Eisley?" Jono asked.
"It's only a replica, kid." Han replied. "After the defeat of the Empire, tales of our adventures began to spread and a following began."
"It's kinda like that on Earth." Morph smirked. "Fanboys dressing up as Jedi and stuff."
"I hope you guys have got money." Han said.
"Oh yeah." Dare replied showing him a few credits from a red purse that matched her red dress. "Guardian gave us some New Republic credits before we came out here."
Everybody looked around at the cantina as they walked inside. It was very authentic, just like the one in Mos Eisley, only a bit larger and not as rundown looking. There were even some bulb-headed aliens playing music in the corner. "Mos Eisley, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Morph joked.
"You guys grab a seat and I'll get the first round in." Jono said.
The Exiles did as they were told and grabbed a corner booth while Han and Chewie went to talk to some friends they saw in the place. Jono approached the bar and ordered the drinks. He was waiting for the barman to get them when a shady-looking character tugged on his shoulder. "You wanna buy some death sticks?"
"You don't want to sell me death sticks." Jono replied as he waved his hand.
"I don't wanna sell you death sticks." The guy repeated.
"You're going to go home and rethink your life." Jono said.
"I wanna go home and rethink my life." The guy said as he walked off.
Jono just chuckled to himself as he took the drinks and carried them over to the table. "I always wanted to see if that would work." He smirked.
Later-It was Morph's turn to buy a round. He was waiting patiently when he saw a familiar form walk past. It was Jar Jar Binks, or someone of his species. An evil grin spread on Morph's face as he got an idea. "Hey Chewie." He said as he tapped the Wookiee on the shoulder. "I think that Gungan just insulted your mother." Chewie growled in anger and stomped toward the random Gungan. Morph chuckled evilly as he heard the sound of a fight several feet away.
"No, mesa no wanten crunchen!"
That was followed by a typical Wookiee roar and the telltale sound of arms being pulled from their sockets. "I hope you didn't set Chewie on that poor defenceless Gungan, did you?" Heather smirked.
"Maybe." Morph smirked as he dealt out the drinks.
"Are you sure you want to try that Wookiee ale?" August asked. "Didn't Han say that it was really potent?"
"Pff, that's just a warning for the tourists." Morph snorted. "We're made of more hardy stock. Besides, I'm basically made out of unstable molecules so I can't get drunk anyway." April, Dare and August watched as Morph downed the tankard in one gulp.
"Well, how is it?" Dare asked him looking at him with her single eye.
"I think my throat's melting." Morph squeaked as he held his throat and Rahne asked him if he wanted some water or something.
"I wonder how much alcohol that's got in." August thought out loud as she took the tankard and peered inside.
"I don't think I'm gonna like what you're planning." April said, she knew that fire and alcohol didn't mix well from the arson training she had been put through by Hydra.
"What? I'm just gonna burn the leftovers to see how much alcohol there is." August replied as she dropped a small lick of flame into the tankard. She was promptly knocked back as a huge jet of flame shot out the top, a few of the patrons started shouting in alien languages either from the scare or for trying something stupid like that. "Note to self, don't try that again." August muttered as she checked to see if she still had eyebrows.
Back at the Senate-The Exiles were all gathered up and ready to go home. Rahne and Dare were holding up an unconscious Morph. It seemed that the Wookiee ale was too much for him, even if it was really hard for him to get drunk. "I apologise for Morph." Guardian sighed. "He was warned not to try the Wookiee ale but he rarely listens to instructions."
"That's quite alright." Luke Skywalker shrugged. "Are you sure that I can't help heal his state for you?"
"I think it would be better for him to sleep it off." Guardian replied. "It will serve him right for not listening, and the hangover might make him rethink of trying that again."
"It'll be a shame to see you leave." Luke said. "Are you sure that you can't stay a little longer?"
"I'm afraid not." Guardian replied. "We have a busy day tomorrow and we have to get Morph back before he starts vomiting."
"Farewell then." Luke said as he gave Guardian and the others a bow. "We hope that you will return soon."
Jaina scooched beside Luke and walked up to Jono. "Don't be a stranger." He said as she pecked Jono on the cheek. The other Exiles could hardly contain their laughter as Jono sputtered embarrassedly.
TBC...
Next: Heather's Reunion
Heather finally gets her chance to go home, but what trouble is happening in her world that has Guardian so worried?