A/N: I love this one. Maybe it's just because I'm an English dork and enjoy word games WAY too much… :sweatdrop: Enjoy! Read and review!

45. Roy x Ed – GERM

Roy was a GERM, that was for sure. A GERM Ed just couldn't seem to get rid of. A parasite, a GERMy parasite, filled with GERMs, sucking the life and the blood and whatever else it desired out of Ed's small body.

Ed would smack the GERM, yell at the GERM, threaten it with alchemy only to be threatened back with what the GERM called a "bean barbecue".

Roy was a nasty GERM all right. Infectious and sometimes nauseating to a point where Ed needed to scream for a break with his head between his knees.

And other times, Roy was a perfectly nice and mild GERM. In the office, he was fine and dandy, smirking his GERMy smirk and drumming his GERMy fingers on his desk, thoroughly harmless. But when it came quitting time, Roy's GERMy disease would ravage poor Ed like a pack of rabid hound dogs.

Ed knew he had chosen to live with a GERM. The same way he had chosen to join the military, burn his house, and attempt to resurrect his mother. This idea to live with such a GERM was about as bad as all of his other ideas, but, like all parts of life, it was a learning experience. Just one that wouldn't end… for a very long time. Ed would be infected with the GERM until the day he died.

Yet, deep in his heart, Ed loved the GERM.

Ed loved the Great Egotistical Roy Mustang.

Reviewer Responses!

Sika Kuriyama: Yeah, I know. If Roy's gonna kill himself, lighting himself on fire is a stupid way to do it. Because spontaneous (or not so spontaneous, in this case) combustion is usually funny, and why make people laugh when you die? I don't know… lol By all means, go ahead and borrow whatever pairings you like. Not like I "invented" them… :sweatdrop: Thanks for the review!

Blackrose Kitsune: What can I say? I love "several different obscure pairings". How else could I have written… most of the stuff I've written in here? And I've written worse. I've written one where Roy fucked an electrical socket (I am not kidding)… :-P But shh, we'll just keep that one secret, 'kay? n.n; Anyway, thanks for the review!

BHS: XP I think Roy lighting himself on fire is funny too. I dunno, the thought of that just makes me wanna laugh uncontrollably… XDXDXD Hey now, Gluttony's not a bad guy to fall in love with! Well… okay, yeah, maybe he is… He doesn't really do anything… AWESOME! "Totally WTF-crack pairings!" That is like, my life's dream, to get on so nifty a list. ;) No, really, that's cool. I love WTF-crack pairings. :-P Thank you very much for the review!

MetalWing Alchemist: Yes, Roy lighting himself on fire was very good… :starts laughing: I'm sorry, Roy, I shouldn't disrespect the flames… :snorts: Now I can't stop… Anyway, you are welcome for the sites! I hope you liked this one. ;) Thanks for the review!

writerauthorguy: You know what? I've actually written a Lust x Winry pairing (that one pops up in "FMA Drabbles II", coming soon). I've read Armstrong x Pinako, and it scares the living hell out of me (though someday I'll probably write it just to prove I can), and… wow. I have never heard of Breda x Black Hayate, and that one frightens me too… And yet… it's hilariously funny… XP Don't go giving me any ideas now! Thanks for the review!

--crazykitsune17--