IV

Hybrid Identity

"I've become so numb, I can feel you there, I've become so tired, so much more aware, I've becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you."xiii

You've never really liked to embrace your humanoid side, dear.

Deanna looked at the woman in front of her. Her mother was kind, but sometimes enough was enough.

"Mother, I rely on my Betazoid heritage for my job."

Yes, I know. But has it ever occurred to you how other, humanoid counselors may have accomplished such a feat before Starfleet was ever conceived?

Troi looked at her mother in surprise.

I know my history, you know, she added, with a pointed look.

"I know. Sorry."

Honestly, little one. What spurred this?

Someone suddenly interrupted the picture.

Kestra, dear, really. I wish you wouldn't do that. You nearly broke the damn thing.

Oh stop it. You know I didn't mean to. The blonde shot a careful look to Deanna. I'm just excited to talk to my little sister!

Yes, yes. Whatever. Deanna, I trust that your sister can help you with your problem?

She nodded. "Thank you anyways."

You're welcome dear. Ow! Kestra, stop!

Hello, little sister! How's everything?

"Did you hear what I was telling mother?"

As clear as day. And she has a point, you know. Kestra quickly changed the subject. How's William?

"Kestra!"

Oh come on! You haven't called in nearly half a year, and the first time that you do, all you can talk about is our heritage, which I would expect, should be pretty clear to you now.

"It is."

So what's the problem?

"Kestra, we're so used to living on our own. I applied to University of Betazed, and attended alone. You married Noah, against Mother's warnings. I was accepted to Starfleet Academy, and began attending classes, alone. You had children. I've always thought of myself as the independent one in the family, but I think I've reached that point where I've been presented with an opportunity to change it. I was never scared of it, but now that I can do something to change it, I'm more frightened than I have ever been."

Deanna, if Daddy were alive, do you think you would feel the same way?

"No."

Why not?

"Because he would've been there, to help me and guide me through Starfleet."

But he wasn't, Deanna. And you made it. Mother and I have always imagined that he would be proud of what you've accomplished. But I think he would be disappointed to know that you would rather embrace Mother's Betazoid ancestry than his human one.

"Well, mother raised us on her own."

She had help. Betazoid help, I might add. I don't deny that we've grown to depend on it, but I think we need to make an effort to take ourselves away from it and think with what Daddy has given us.