Disclaimer: NO! I don't own Saiyuki or its characters!

But rumor has it that I own the four reporters. And if I pray really hard and be a good little author and update… I may be able to obtain… WORLD DOMINATION! WAHAHAHA!

Author's Note: Hello to the world! You might be asking where I've been for the last twomonth and a half and… 35 minutes. I was just holding the Saiyuki cast hostage and made them spit IT out (whatever they had to spit out) by using an expired lollipop and a cute yellow daisy! Anyway… Chapter 5! Oh yeah! Thanks for the reviews! It was unexpected… 16! It really encouraged me to continue with the upcoming interviews. Happy reading! Review after please!

Lirin

Good day to all! It's me again! Chiharu Daiki! We found GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI'S Lirin up in the tree. She seem to be looking for the Sanzo-ikkou… I'm climbing up the tree to catch an interview with her.

C.D.: Hello there, Lirin-chan!

Lirin: Lirin…. CHAN? HEY! Don't treat me like a little girl!

C.D.: Awww….. Come on! You have to admit that you are!

Lirin: Do you want to face my wrath?

C.D.: Hmmm… Maybe later… Right now, I want to interview you!

Lirin: "What if I say no?"

C.D.: "Too bad! I made those pork buns especially for you!"

Goku: "Hey! What about me!"

C.D.: "Go find a banana, monkey!"

Goku: "That's mean!"

C.D.: Points randomly somewhere "Look over there! A tasty bird!"

Goku: Acts like a dog "Where? Where?"

C.D.: "Over there! Beside that man-eating mangrove! (If there are such things…)

Goku: "Goodie!" Runs off to the man eating mangrove.

C.D.: Anyway… Those pork buns will just be…

Lirin: "YES! INTERVIEW ME! BY ALL MEANS!

C.D.: (Gladly) Ehem! "You do love pork buns don't you?

Lirin: "Ai! I LOVE PORK BUNS!"

C.D.: "So! Tell us about yourself!"

Lirin: "Well, my name is Lirin, I like to kick the butts of the Sanzo-ikkou, and I'm the little sister of my Oni-chan, Kougaiji and I LOVE PORK BUNS!"

C.D.: "Yeah, you do love pork buns…"

C.D.: "I LOVE PORK BUNS! I'm GONNA NAME MY FIRST CHILD…. PORK BUN!"

C.D.: (I feel sad for the child…) "Next question! Isn't your mother Gyokumen Koushu?

Lirin: Pouts. "Yeah… She's my mother… Why are you asking?

C.D.: "No special reason… I can just relate you relationship with your mother with the Joy Luck Club!"

Lirin: "WHAT? OMG! That is soooo not true! I'd rather elope with Goku than being with that woman who is too sadistic around my brother and his mother!

C.D.: Looks strangely at Lirin… (ELOPE…? WITH… GOKU? Did I hear right?) smirks. "Ummmm… What did you just say about Goku?"

Lirin: "Ummm… Nothing?" A halo appears above her.

C.D.: Are you sure? I thought I just heard you say… ELPOE…

Lirin: Well… I did say ELOPE…

C.D.: Sooo… You like him then!

Lirin: But elope has a meaning! E.L.O.P.E.!

C.D.: U-huh.. What does it mean?

Lirin: Well.. Uhhhh… Uhhhhh… E…. E is… Ummm… Enter?

C.D.: Yeah… Go on…

Lirin: L is… mmmm…(Not love! Not Love! I'm suppose to be immune to that)

C.D.: "What? Love? Like?"

Lirin: NO! Hmmm….LOATHING…

C.D.: Yeah… O is… what?

Lirin: Ummm…. Over?

C.D.: " And P?"

Lirin: Ehem… "Uhhhh… Population?"

C.D.: "Interesting…. One more…"

Lirin: (What's E? WHAT'S E?)

C.D.: writing a letter ( "Dear Goku, as much as I enjoy taunting you about Lirin, the things that I have said came true and Lirin seriously wants to elope with you as soon as possible… This is no joke… I recorded it all! She wants to meet you at Tenjiku and get married…")

Lirin: E! ECCENTRICITY!

E- Enter

L- Loathing

O- Over

P- Populing

E- Eccentricity

C.D.: "Eccentricity? Wow… your choices of words are so… profound…

Lirin: Yeah… (What does eccentricity mean, anyway?)

C.D.: So… your loathing for Goku is overpopulating and you feel weird about it?

Lirin: YES! (Is that what it means?)

C.D.: (I'm gonna twist this) "So… You hate Goku… and you… Feel strange about it because… deep down… You LIKE him?"

Lirin: NO! GRRR… YOU'RE TWISTING WHAT I JUST SAID!

C.D.: (I know!) "Awww… Sorry Lirin! Would you like to skip that part?"

Lirin: "Gladly…"

C.D.: "Okay! Next question: Why did the… (What the hell? Who is the script writer?) Why did the chicken cross the road?

Lirin: What? Chicken? Where? Where's the yummy chicken?

C.D.: It crossed the road!

Lirin: "Why?"

C.D.: "That's why I'm asking you!"

Lirin: "Hmmm… The chicken crossed the road because… I was askin' it for dinner! Yum! Chicken ala King!

C.D.: "Wow… So… Why did the caterpillar cross the road?" (What a question… Do they still pay the scriptwriter for this?)

Lirin: … Did you say… Caterpillar?

C.D.: Ummm… Yeah…

Lirin: trembles "I HATE CATERPILLARS! I don't know why… it must have something to do with me being isolated in the bathroom with nothing but the…." Trembles "Bar of soap…"

C.D.: (What're the connection of a caterpillar and a bar of soap?) "You don't know why you hate caterpillars? Would you mind looking at your left?"

Lirin: turns to her left. And saw something… she stood up on the branch and panicked.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! A CATERPILLAR! A CUTE, SQUISHY CATERPILLAR! THE HORROR!"

Caterpillar: "Waaaahhhh… BAR OF SOAP! WAHAHAHA! FEAR ME!

Lirin: "NOOOOOO! SADISTIC CATERPILLAR!" Punches the branch where the caterpillar was… Only… It turned out to be the same branch they were sitting on… They fell…

C.D.: "Ouch… My head…. I think I might get cerebral aneurysm…"

Lirin: …

C.D.: Hey….?

Lirin: "What happened?"

C.D.: (this girl is such an amnesiac freak…)Ummmm…. Caterpillar accident…

Goku: Hello! Where was the birdie, Chiharu-chan?"

Lirin: ….

C.D.: Ummmm…. Lirin?

Lirin: … "CA-CA-CATERPILLAR!" points at Goku. Obviously, Lirin is having delusions…

C.D.: (?) "What the…"

Goku: "Eh? What's up with you?

Lirin: "Evil Caterpillar! The one that said.. 'Bar of Soap!' The horror! Evil green soap!" takes out a steak and a hammer… "Die, EVIL!"

Goku: "What the… OH NO! I'm TOO HUNGRY TO BE A CATERPILLAR! LET ALONE GET STEAKED!" Runs off….

Lirin: "Wahahaha! FEAR ME! EVIL CATERPILLAR!" (A/N: Somehow, if you let me interview innocent anime characters… They end up having brain damages and hallucinations…)

C.D.: sweat drop… "Okay…. That was weird… No more 'Why did the chicken crossed the road?' questions…"

Kiya: "But I wonder why Goku didn't beat her up?"

C.D.: "Maybe because she's a girl and he… Likes her…"

Kiya: Good point… (Err… How were a caterpillar and a soap connected anyway?)

C.D.: "Very weird… I guess I'll just have to say good bye some other time then…

Author's Note: Wahahaha! I'm Done! At last! Chapter 5! I don't know where I got that caterpillar idea. We had our science class and we had to find some… Ewww! Bugs and other living objects that live in the ground! So far we found ten worms and three fat, squishy, and hairy caterpillars. The soap part… I don't what's the relation of it… I don't even know which world I got that. But it still worked out! Now on to chapter six! The infamous, skilled, bro of the century! Dokugakuji… Or Jien if you want…. R&R!