The New
Exiles
By The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- We only own our Ocs, Mayhem, August, Dare, Guardian and April.
Shout Outs-Episodic: Really? I wanted to make a deep chapter here. Glad you liked the humor R-Man I think does that the best. We don't have anyone planned on dying that was one of the things I hated about Exiles they killed off/got rid off all the great characters.
Winblades: Yeah I really tried to show the down side to immortality, that everything comes with a price. I guess you might be right with that but I just wanted to add something in there to that effect.
Red Witch: Glad it got an emotional response out of you and glad to hear that.
Ruby631: Yeah I tried for deep and emotional this chapter.
X-Over: Yeah I went for the sad chapter this time around. X-Force? Do you mean Weapon X?
DISCLAIMER: Read Uncanny R-Man's The Uncanny Avengers in the comic section under the Avengers (duh) and read up on it to get this chapter in more detail.
Chapter 20: Double Date With The Avengers
Jono was sitting in the Complex garden waiting for Erotica to turn up. He had offered to pick her up after work but she insisted on making her own way there, since she wanted to see the place for herself. So all Jono had to do was wait for his girlfriend to turn up. The pair was actually going on a double date with Morph and Rahne. Jono didn't know where they were even going, Morph said that he was making it up as he went along.
To be truthful, Jono was kind of dreading where their destination would be. Morph was still hell-bent on finding the planet of naked cheerleaders, no matter how many times Guardian said that it didn't exist.
Jono shook his head with a little chuckle; Morph really didn't have any shame.
Rahne's home dimension-Morph was waiting in the main hall of the Hellfire Club headquarters. He had just dropped in to pick up Rahne for their double date with Jono and Erotica.
Morph strolled around the hall looking at the paintings on the walls. Unsurprisingly for a place like the Hellfire Club, most of the pictures were of Rahne in various states of undress.
"Man, who'da thought that the meek little girly-girl that had a crush on Cannonball would end up to be such an exhibitionist." Morph thought out loud. Then he cocked his head as he studied yet another picture. "I wonder if you can get prints of these…?"
"I see that yuir admirin' my art collection." Rahne said as she walked down the stairs in her usual black and tight fitting uniform. "I had Kitty's White Bishop paint me."
"Man, Colossus is one lucky Russian." Morph nodded.
Several visits previous, Rahne had introduced Morph to the White Queen. Far from being Emma Frost, who Morph was expecting it to be, the White Queen of Rahne's Hellfire Club was Kitty Pryde, the former X-Woman known as Shadowcat. Rahne decided to keep the White branch of the Hellfire Club, as she needed to have a trustworthy leader to look after the club while she was away on business.
Just as Rahne had her Black Rooks and Bishops, Kitty had her White Rooks and Bishops too. Piotr Rasputin and Pete Wisdom were her Bishops while Kurt Wagner and Alistaire Stuart were her White Rooks.
"I dinnae suppose yuir goin' tae tell me where we're goin', are ye?" Rahne asked. "It's nae to the Playboy Mansion again, is it?" Placing her hands on her hips.
"And I thought you liked it there." Morph pouted. "You seemed pretty comfy with Miss April. Is there something you wanna tell me?"
"Nope." Rahne replied. "I jus' appreciate the female form as much as I do the male."
Morph just let that slide and used the recall device to teleport the pair back to the Complex. Although he did make a mental note to explore that further.
Teleporter room-Once Erotica had arrived in a simple pink T-shirt and cut off jean shorts, the Pamela Anderson look-a-like was ready for her date with her boyfriend. She and Jono made their way to the teleporter room, while he showed her around on the way there; she was amazed at the place. Soon they got to where they would be meeting Morph and Rahne.
"I see everybody is ready." Guardian said as he saw the quartet walk in. "Any idea where you wish to go today?"
"I thought that we'd just blag our way through." Morph replied. "Go where the teleporter takes us."
"Are you sure that is wise?" The Guardian asked concernedly. "You might end up in trouble." Even though the really nasty realities were locked out, they still could end up in some major trouble anyway.
"I guess you could just select a reality that doesn't need saving." Jono said. "Y'know, kind of keep it a surprise."
"I have just the place in mind…" Guardian said as he gave April a nod. The young gravity-manipulating mutant nodded in reply and tapped a destination into the teleporter controls.
"I trust you have money?" Guardian asked them.
"Sure do, boss man." Morph replied as he flashed some dollar bills. "I took the liberty of having Alfred change some credits for me."
"That was insightful of you." Guardian said but then smiled. "But how do you know that you're going to end up in the States?"
"Statistical probability." Morph shrugged since most of the time that was were they ended up most of the time during his entire life as an Exile.
With that, the quartet stepped onto the teleporter in preparation for their journey.
Avengers Complex, Malibu, California, Reality 616.5 (aka, the URM-Verse)-The West Coast Avengers were holding a beach party on the stretch of beach near their home. There wasn't really any cause for celebration; it just seemed a pity not to hold a beach party when you have your own private beach.
Hawkeye was in charge of the barbeque while Quicksilver and Crystal were paddling with Luna in the sea, who was happy to have her mom and dad on talking terms again. Tigra, Firestar, Copycat and Namorita were dancing while Mayhem, Justice and the others were just sitting around and talking.
"Man, does Tigra ever sit down?" Justice asked as he saw the weretiger bump and grind with the two former New Warriors.
"Not since I've ever known her." Songbird replied.
"And you've known her for just how long?" Maddie asked, a cheeky smile spreading on her lips.
Songbird just rolled her eyes at the redheaded telepath and looked out to sea. Beside her, Ant-Man noticed something in the distance. "Hey guys, is it me or did four people just materialize out of nowhere?"
The rest of the team joined him and peered into the distance, it did seem that four people were standing in the distance.
"You think it's an attack?" Tigra asked. "Should we go kick their butts?"
Several yards away-Morph and the others materialized near a swanky-looking beach house on a cliff overlooking the Californian coastline.
"Man, I must admit this, Guardian certainly knows how to pick 'em." Morph said as he looked around as he was now in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, looking like a tourist.
"Perhaps I should've brought my swimming gear." Erotica said looking at the lovely beach.
"I guess we could always go skinny-sipping." Rahne replied as a cheeky grin spread across her face. Morph just chuckled evilly, remembering how the last time the team got to a beach they went native while he was send on an errand, he got back at them though.
"So what we gonna do now?" Jono asked, glad he didn't bring his leather coat this time; he would have been dying in that thing, although the black jeans and long shirt weren't helping matters. "Go searching for bars?"
"Perhaps we could answer that for ya, buddy?" A mysterious voice asked behind them. The quartet spun around and saw that they were surrounded by the West Coast Avengers.
"Oh man…he's going to freak when he hears about this." Jono said noticing a certain member of the other team.
Erotica looked around nervously at her friends getting ready for a fight, she might have been out of the hero thing for a couple of years but she was still good enough when it counts. "This kinda stuff happen to you guys a lot?"
"Well it happened a heck of a lot in the X-Men." Rahne replied thinking back to her old younger days. "It seemed that we were having a team up with other heroes every other week."
Morph, taking the role of the leader, stepped forward to try to calm the situation. "Okay, before we get to the clichéd superhero team up-slash-fight, don't you think we could talk y'know, as a change of pace?"
"You guys seem legit enough." Hawkeye replied, still not totally sure whether the new arrivals were on their side or not. "Follow us inside but, if you make even one little wrong move, I'll have Maddie transplant one of her best home-made nightmares into your head, okay?"
"You got it." Morph nodded as he led Jono and the girls into the beach house.
On their way into the house, Rahne cast a cautious look back at Maddie. "Umm, no offence or anythin' but, weren't ye dead and…evil?"
"I got better." Madelyn Pryor the clone of Jean Grey replied nonchalantly. "I'm a redhead, coming back from the dead comes naturally to us."
Later-After Morph had told the Avengers the low-down on the Exiles and their job, rescuing realities in danger and stuff, Hawkeye let them have the run of the beach house, albeit cautiously.
Erotica was in the kitchen searching for a cold drink when she heard somebody walk in beside her. She turned around and saw Justice and Ant-Man standing in the doorway.
"Go on man, you ask her." Ant-Man hissed.
"Geez, for the token brainy guy you sure act like a horny teenager." Justice sighed.
"Anything I can help you guys with?" Erotica asked as she snagged herself a beer.
"Umm, we were wondering…" Justice began. "Are you Pamela Anderson…?"
Erotica just smiled at them, she heard this a few times and she did like Miss Anderson. "No I'm not." She replied. "I do like her work and stuff and I lover he animal rights program but I've never taped myself having se with a rock star either, before you ask."
Justice and Ant-Man both cursed under their breath as that meant that they had missed out on meeting their favourite Baywatch girl. "So what do you do then?" Justice asked getting a drink.
"I'm an ex-super hero/secret agent. I sort of retired from that." She replied taking a sip of her drink.
"And now?" Scott Lee, AKA Ant-Man asked.
"Exotic Dancer." She said simply as Justice coughed out his drink.
Meanwhile-While Erotica grabbed herself a drink with the boys, Jono was sitting on the beach chatting with the Avengers, they were curious as to what their counterparts were like.
"You guys said that you work with a different version of Vince, right?" Tigra asked. "What's he like? Just out of curiosity, you'll understand."
Jono snickered a he saw the looks the weretiger was giving the Canadian mutant. Either Vince didn't return Tigra's feelings or he didn't even realise how she felt about him. 'Some things never change no matter in what reality.' He thought thinking of how long it took him to open up to Blink.
"Well, our Vince isn't as fun as happy as your guy." Jono replied. "I guess that's kinda understandable seein' what his reality was like."
"What was my, uh… his reality like?" The other Vincent asked.
"I wasn't actually in the team when we recruited him." Jono replied. "But from what they told me, his reality was pretty much ruled by Sentinels and almost every person was wiped out. Vince was one of the only survivors."
Vincent just stared at the ground as he took all of the information in.
"Hey Vince, you alright?" Namorita asked as she put a companionable hand on his shoulder.
"Just a little shocked I guess." Vincent replied. "What about…what about my friends back in Toronto? I mean did we have the same people in our lives?"
Jono looked at him in sympathy. "Let me guess…Father Michaels, Mary, Benny and Mr. Ryu Kansuke to name a few right?" Vince nodded. "Sorry mate…they didn't make it in his reality I'm told."
Vince looked like someone had kicked him in the stomach, he couldn't imagine living without them or at least having all of them die on him. "The last time we heard of the Sentinels here was back when Genosha was destroyed. I'm pretty glad that they've all been deactivated now."
"At least until the next anti-mutant nut job comes along." Copycat for former female villain who was trying to turn her life around had added.
"But most of the Sentinels those freaky Human Supremacist guys have nowadays are those crappy old versions." Firestar the redheaded fire powered mutant said. "Y'know, from the pre-Operation: Zero Tolerance days." She like many mutants didn't like talking about Sentinels, they were the one thing all mutants feared and hated most of all in the world.
"Man, what was up with that Bastion guy?" Jono asked, he had firsthand knowledge of the guy. Okay, it was actually second-hand after Jubilee told him about her capture in the Hulk Buster Base.
"I know." Justice added, he had walked in on them just as the Sentinel talk started up. "He sucked! If you want a sinister psycho robot guy, give me Ultron any day. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time when I beat Ultron on my own?"
The rest of the Avengers groaned loudly as they had heard the story all before.
Back in the beach house-Morph had finished getting changed into some suitable swimwear. The Avengers had been kind enough to give Morph and Rahne some spare swimsuits, so they decided to hit the hot tub.
Morph had just snagged a bottle of champagne and was looking for his girlfriend. However, as soon as he reached the hot tub, he couldn't find any sign of the Scots werewolf.
"Rahne, you out here?" Morph asked as he looked around. "I got bubbly. You wanna do that bit form American Pie…? 'Cept without the peeing."
Once again there was no answer. Morph sighed and sat down on the edge of the hot tub. He then noticed that his foot touched something silky. He looked down and saw a low-cut crimson swimsuit lying on the floor.
"Okay Rahne, I know it's you." Morph said. "As much as I like to be stalked by naked wolf chicks, this is kinda freaking me out."
There was a brief rustling behind some nearby bushed and Morph spun around to look.
"Rahne…?" He asked a little fearfully. "That you?"
As if in reply, a wolf leapt from the bush and knocked Morph back into the hot tub in a splash of bubbly water. "Oh yeah, real mature." Morph sighed as he looked at the wolf sitting on his lap. "Now you're gonna smell."
The wolf almost seemed to glare at him as it began to change back into Rahne, albeit a naked Rahne. "Ye seem tae like it." Rahne said as a wolfish smile graced her lips.
"Well, I do have a hot, naked redhead straddling me in a hot tub." Morph replied. "What's not to like?"
"That's the attitude laddie." Rahne growled sexily as she nibbled on Morph's earlobe. "Tell me somethin', you ever done it in a hot tub?"
A lecherous smile spread on Morph's face as he kissed her neck.
"Can't say that I have, no."
"Perhaps we could do somethin' tae remedy that." Rahne said as her eyes twinkled lustily and trailed kisses down Morph's chest.
Later-The Avengers were bidding their guests goodbye. Jono had his arm around Erotica while Morph had another of those dazed looks on his face while Rahne just had a cheeky smile on her face.
"It was certainly nice meeting you guys." Vincent said. "Tell me that I said hi, okay?"
"Umm, okay…" Jono replied. "I think that our Vince'll be freaked that he's a member of the Avengers.'
"And that a certain weretiger keeps on making eye at him." Rahne added.
Vince turned to Tigra, who just smiled innocently.
"Oh my, is that the time? I must be off to bed. Byeeee!"
TBC…Next: Darksider
The Exiles meet up with their first encounter with a Darksider, and it might be their last.