The Light

Draco Malfoy

I don't think I could even begin to describe what I felt at that moment. You know—the moment when I realized what I had truly done. The moment I dropped my wand, froze, and stared in shock at the remains of my father. The moment I realized that the reason my father was dead was because I killed him.

Teenagers don't kill their fathers. Well, I should correct myself—teenagers who kill their fathers are usually mentally disturbed. I'm in perfectly good mental health (or am I?) and yet, I'm guilty of the aforementioned crime.

It was a pretty impulsive thing… he was there, he was weak, and he was in my way. So I got rid of him. I'd seen people die before… but never at my own hands. I dropped the wand and was generally shocked afterwards, but I realized that what was done was done and I couldn't go back. At least, not without a time turner, that is. And truthfully, I wasn't sure I would want to change things.

Well, anyway. I realized then that there was no turning back. If I did, I'd face prison and ultimately, the Dementor's Kiss. For a while, I was considering the option that I could return to civilization someday. Now I realized that I had to give up on that hope.

"And this," Longbottom said suddenly, interrupting my thoughts, "is The Light."

For the first time, I noticed how dark the area we were in was. I thought the sun was just setting, but there were actually rocks framing the sky and plants growing up them. There was only one spot where the sky and sun showed through. This spot was what Longbottom pointed to. It was The Light.

The sun shone through in that one spot and it illuminated a small patch on the ground in front of us. There were rocks set up where the light hit so people could rest on them. According to Longbottom, the people from The Blaze traveled here only once a week. It was about a day and a half trip, but they made it each week to ensure that new citizens would be able to enter their new home.

It was the worst idea I think I'd ever heard.

But it was the only option I had.

We sat on the rocks and waited. We had no idea what day it was, and even if we did, it wouldn't matter. All we knew was that someone would eventually come for us.

"How long do you think it's going to take?" I asked after we'd sat on the rocks for about an hour.

"Days, probably," Longbottom said while stifling a yawn.

"So, are there, like, actual houses there?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know," Longbottom said truthfully. "There are makeshift shelters, but I think there might be half-decent shelters by now. I mean… the original founders brought a lot with them."

"Like...?" Granger demanded impatiently.

"Like cookware they stole from Hogwarts, furniture, and blankets and stuff. They shrunk it at school and then made it grow when they got here."

"They should've shrunk Hagrid's hut," Ron remarked.

"They wouldn't need to shrink that sorry excuse for a house," I rolled my eyes.

"Shut it, Malfoy," Granger scoffed.

"Sorry," I said rudely, "I forgot you're all enthralled with that oaf."

There was silence after that. I was trying to be nicer, I really, really was.

But changing everything about your past was harder that you might think. Forgetting who I was didn't come naturally to me. I was a Malfoy at heart, and Malfoys don't change their personalities with the snap of a finger.

Besides, who said I wanted to change? Just because I had a chance to start over didn't mean I wanted it. I could maintain my status as superior to those I was with and I could continue being an arrogant asshole.

I could.

But did I really want to? I couldn't completely answer that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to change who I was. I wasn't sure if I should. And I wasn't sure what the hell I was going to do for the rest of my life.

Malfoy's aren't cowards. Running away from your past and present qualifies as cowardice. I was acting like a coward. But I wasn't acting. I'd become the very thing I promised myself I would never become: a Gryffindor. I might as well just throw myself off the nearest cliff.

I was considering it that time, honestly, but then I remembered we were in the middle of a forest on some rocks. And the sun was in my eye.

----

"Blaise Zabini, get your goddamn ass over here immediately," I yelled angrily, while I punched the rock below me. "Ow!"

"We still have a few days left, Malfoy, relax."

"Relax?" I asked angrily. "Granger, you can't be serious! Relaxing is about the farthest thing from my mind at the moment!"

"Well, your whining and complaining is driving us all mad!"

"Weasley, you're the only one bothered by it, I think. I believe that Granger in particular finds my anger attractive, don't you Granger?"

"Go kill yourself," she muttered.

"See! She's provoking me! It's her way of saying, 'Oh, Draco, you're so hot when you're mad.'"

"In your dreams," Ginny said.

"Dreams?" I asked. "Try nightmares. I don't want Granger to find me attractive. She's a—"

"Don't say it," she said under her breath. "For once, Malfoy, just don't say it."

I shut my mouth. Then I decided to be an asshole. I made the final decision that this life-changing event wasn't going to change my life.

"Mudblood."

"If I had a wand right now, I would totally hex you," Ginny said dangerously.

I smirked. "But, Ginerva, I have both of our wands."

I twirled them between my fingers and everyone glared at me. I couldn't wait until we got to The Blaze and I had an ally.

A/N: I know it was short… but the next chapter is better. NEXT CHAPTER SPOILER: The next chapter is when they finally get to The Blaze. And they learn some things that are upsetting and shocking. And Draco changes his mind about not wanting to start over. (or does he?)